Chapter-1

I died.

“An evening, I wish I died,

One evening, I was so happy I cried.

An evening, she saw me and I thrived.”

It’s the moon and I shining tonight 1st of January and I have skipped school too much under pretext of being sick while I was actively hitting my soccer matches and having the best time of this life maybe. Come on, I am a teenager enough I can vote very soon.

Like every other teenager, I wished to die every single day. Until someone killed me by befriending me. We have been friends since she transferred here. Maybe I loved her since, or maybe I did just that now I am closer to being a man. I cannot stop this flutter in my heart any more. I never tried.

9th March 2003, this is our second last year and school. Being in a private trusted school we had a bunch of transferred students every year for just having the name of this stupid intuition over their report cards just so any college will take them. Plausible of them but she came here because she just did. I called it faith of fate. She came, she came straight to my heart. On March 4th, she came and introduced herself in front. Her aura made it clear who she was and I could only say out “I am smitten.” And that’s what I said when she asked for my name.

I almost cried to myself in the restroom that day. However, that day; I stopped wanting myself dying. This time ‘She was killing but she was keeping me from dying’, the way I felt Mahmoud Darwish that day.

Out of 40 people, she chose me to sit with because I reminded her of cupcakes. She was an idiot and she knew it. What more she made out was I was stupid myself and a stupid needed an idiot. That’s all she said on the 4th of March until it was recess.

She doesn’t talk more than 100 words when she hasn’t eaten either she’s just mean. I asked her “What could help?” and she shyly replied “Fried chicken.” My allowance was not more than $5 for a day and she wanted to spend that all. Not like she didn’t have any but it needed $8 for a boneless chicken bucket and $2 for drinks. She planned a date all by herself for herself with a stranger for $4 and a muffin guy company. My mouth hung 4feets down when I opposed her, “How came you do this without a thought? What sort of democracy is that? Where is my right?”

A subtle line of response and we don’t mess about fried chicken partner billing. She said without a twitch of fun muscle on her face, “You stupid you love it too.” I haven’t fought for food since 2003. My mother loved her. My mother loves her, and my dad too.

This narrative has been purloined without the author's approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.

That’s how we became inseparable, she would sit with me, help me with homework, and make me see the world through a rough lens of hope. She was always learning and learning even if it wasn’t to ask anywhere and when I asked her about it, her answer was always the same, “Someday I will have a cute child who will ask me everything. Why water is blue, and why the sun is shy of the moon? When does the market sleep? Why acid is sour? And even If I don’t know the answer; I will have something for them to know.” With this said with a faint smile, her eyes scintillated brightest. There, I knew I loved her. I loved her from the assembly of school to the breaks of university classes. I grew fond of her within a month, she was just a girl. A simple, human, kind, girl. For everyone else. She was my fate. I knew it.

We used to play games and she would cheer for me. We had lazy Sundays and “Be alone with me Mondays”. We spent the best time with each other and the worse we couldn’t go without each other. She never held my hand in times of good but in the bad, she never had let it go.

I owe something in me to her. She grew it in me herself.

A new life was breathed into me. I was someone old with a whole new mind. I saw a different life through me. A life and new light.

I was falling in love; alone. She loved me differently. She loved me in a way, I didn’t understand well. I loved her in a way; that I didn’t understand. It took us time to love. It was a love grown differently.

In a war of emotions and feelings, we fell into each other. This time just right, just how it should have been. Just how it was fated to be. We are destined to the love we are meant for. Somehow after the roads of hills and ocean of tears. Our love strolled in alley of our heart. A love so sickly sweet, I always had her name with sweetness in my smile. I was very, very, very fond of her. An idiot, a smiling fool, a fool for her.

My heart became the softest where she was. Her steps on my heart left a trail of flowers. I couldn’t bear myself without her. The thought of being without her fright me. This is what I became. Then, I became a dreamer.

I dreamt of us living together and going all good by.

We passed high school with flying colors and a bundle of memories. Some people were left behind and somewhere we left them too. I was 19, still felt as if it was the day of summer 2003 and I was 17. I was officially an adult and still had that toothy grin when she said, “Chicken is on me, go get the drinks. My professor is being suspiciously nice. Hmm, the exam is going to be tough, idiot.” She cleared them with a good score. “Hmm, I know. He was boasting about how his wife’s rage bolted his brain into brainstorming problems.” The evening was quite light until she asked me about it. “When are you going to tell Dad about it?” I froze in my soul. I hadn’t given it a thought. “I still have to give it a thought. It could be a rush of adrenaline. I want to be sure first then think through.” I lied; I knew I wanted it. I was sure of myself and I was sure of a coward.

I was a coward for 1 and ½ years then this desire started suffocating me. I couldn’t bear the idea of disregarding my ideals. I did what I felt and I didn’t feel it, it was simmering in me, slow and slower. I wanted the next thing; I wished it to be a relief but my desire for this dream denied to die because I was fueling it with my soul. The coward became brave with a face. I was my father’s son and he had to know it.