It was Wednesday morning, the day of my expedition, and I was worried about Arnold’s cleansing instead.

I had to take steps to prevent things from going wrong. One of those steps was explaining to my roommate just how much danger he was in. Arnold, Sasha, and I walked toward the Scrydome together. I waited until we were almost there to pull him aside and warn him about the Moriya Shrine.

The dome had been built on the edge of town. We trudged through some deeper snow to stand near the trees. We weren’t quite outside the no-danmaku zone, according to the new fence, but we were close.

“Hiking up the mountain today is going to be hard,” he said. Arnold shielded his eyes to look at the sky. “At least it isn’t cloudy.”

“Yeah,” I said. looked back at the Scrydome. Patchouli and Nazrin weren’t there yet, but I could see Patchouli flying in from the other side with the mouse youkai and a koakuma behind her.

“What’s up?” asked Arnold.

“You need to be careful how you tell Suwako about…” I looked back from the distant group and toward my axe-wielding roommate. “Your liaisons. Make sure she knows you will stop if you need to stop, before anything else.”

Arnold frowned down at me. “I’m going to ask her if regular cleansing is an option first. If she says ‘yes,’ I’m not even going to tell her what we’ve been doing.”

I put my hand on my forehead. That was the opposite of an optimal survival strategy, with Suwako.

“She’s willing to kill you, you know? Just to solve a problem?”

“Would she still do that, even knowing I had a relationship with Yuyuko?” he asked. “I have friends. Friends who will protect me.” Arnold was no longer under Remilia’s protection; she didn’t extend that to expedition members. That was one of like ten things I had to be concerned about.

“Especially knowing about your relationship!” I said. “Heck, if you became a ghost, it would solve most of her problems!”

“Shit,” he said. “I hadn’t considered that. But Yuyuko would be pissed if I died, and would seek revenge.”

“What’s she going to do, get ectoplasm on Suwako?” I asked.

“Kill her instantly,” he said, smoothly. “That’s her power, right? She’s actually really strong?”

“That doesn’t work on gods,” I said. “I tried. I know.” I’d drowned the earth god of frogs, but it hadn’t stuck. Suwako had manifested again within a day.

“Hmm.”

“Lady Moriya will probably be able to infer your activities, anyway,” I said. “This almost certainly isn’t the first time that Yuyuko’s done that to a human.”

“She asked permission,” said Arnold. “I’m a participant, not a–a victim.”

“Well, that’s good,” I said.

Privately, I wasn’t sure how to feel. The power imbalance between a supernatural being that was thousands of years old and one that was thirty-five at most was staggering. Yuyuko was old enough to run circles around him psychologically, just like most of the denizens of Gensokyo. They couldn’t have a balanced relationship.

Personally, I believed that the age difference cutoff should be a century or two at most. Patchouli was about a hundred and fifty years old, but that wasn’t relevant.

“Yuyuko’s actually pretty nice when you get to know her,” said Arnold. “She’s really funny.”

“That just reinforces my point about telling Suwako. I don’t think you should actually be… so embarrassed, or anything. But you should definitely not try to keep secrets from the god that is trying to cleanse you.”

“She’s going to make us stop,” he said.

“Yes,” I said. “That’s the whole point.”

“You don’t understand how it feels,” he said. Arnold rubbed the back of his head, and fell back against a spindly tree. I hadn’t realized that he’d been pacing until then. “I didn’t expect to enjoy having someone else inside of me, but it’s actually kind of liberating.”

“What do you mean?” I was trying my best to be open and understanding, but I was unsettled.

“Not having to make decisions. Getting to be an observer. Letting someone else take the reins, and decide everything for you, so you don’t have to worry about anything.” He flexed his hand. “I also appreciate things about myself more, now. Things I might never notice otherwise.”

I couldn’t look at him. Arnold was a big burly man, but it made an odd sort of sense that he’d enjoy letting someone else control his body. I looked back toward our roommates near the Scrydome. Spectators were arriving. Sasha glanced at us. I could tell she was considering whether to walk over, but she was holding off to give us time to talk.

Arnold could sense my discomfort.

“Sorry, sorry,” he said. “I knew it would bother you.”

“I’m almost afraid to ask, but what exactly do you do while she’s possessing you?” I asked.

“Oh!” said Arnold. “Mostly we cook things. And eat them, of course.”

“What kind of things?”

“Vegetables. Rice. Ice cream.” He smiled. “These sweet little purple potatoes.”

“That’s all you do?” I’d thought for sure that he was ‘ghost handing’ it or something.

“What do you want me to tell you?” he asked with a shrug. “It’s not about hedonism, you know. She just wants to remember what living was like. For example, she likes making me walk around barefoot. Even in the snow.”

I peered at him. Then I chuckled, trying to get past my discomfort. “I guess my mind is in the gutter. Even simple sensations would be something else for her, eh?”

“Yuyuko seems to miss being alive quite a bit. All parts of it.” Arnold glanced at me, then looked away. “I’m not going to explain everything, but truly, we don’t know how lucky we are to be alive.”

“That’s fine,” I said. I was relieved that we didn’t have to go into any of the gory details about what being alive in a human body really meant. I couldn’t help but wonder whether Yuyuko would want to sit on the toilet for ‘old time’s sake.’

“She’s going to be devastated,” he said.

“This–this is more about her than you, isn’t it?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” said Arnold. “I like it too.”

I sighed. “I’m sorry, man. And… we should probably also tell Wiki that possession is a real thing, and a bit of how it works. If you’re okay with that.”

“He’s never going to trust me again,” said Arnold.

“What? Why not?”

“He’ll think I might be possessed, right now even.” The thought hadn’t occurred to me.

“Could she do it against your will?” I asked.

“I’m about ninety percent sure that she couldn’t,” he said. “It took a bit of practice before my body stopped rejecting her. And I can kick her out whenever I want. But he’s not going to believe that.”

We’d talked about it a little bit the day before. Possession was tricky. Arnold described it like lucid dreaming: if you thought too hard about it, you’d ‘wake up’ before anything interesting happened. He said that the risk of a youkai simply possessing a human in the village was very low, at least according to Yuyuko. Possessions usually took a lot more convincing and buildup.

At the same time, with psychological issues they became easier. Some ghosts would look for the vulnerable, to displace them from their own bodies. That Yuyuko had told as much to Arnold reflected well on her–it didn’t paint ghosts in a good light, but she’d been honest. Miss Saigyouji had supposedly chosen one of the hardest people to possess in the entire Human Town so that consent would be assured, but that was assuming Yuyuko could be trusted to describe the relationship well. Maybe she was powerful enough to boot his soul like a bug, and was hiding it.

Or maybe she was possessing Arnold even then.

“This is a situation that’s fraught with difficulty,” I said. “You should probably stop for that reason alone.”

He sighed. “I know. But are you sure that there’s no way that…?”

“No, I don’t think there’s any way you can continue letting Yuyuko possess you,” I said. “Not without becoming a youkai. I guess I’m not an expert, though, so perhaps Suwako will have better news for you?” I looked into his eyes. “Make sure she knows that you will stop, if necessary.”

“I already promised,” said Arnold. I could hear a rare tinge of annoyance in his voice. “You don’t have to worry about me, Jake. I can handle myself.”

I wasn’t sure he could–why else would he give a ghost complete control over his body, even for a minute? Really, Yuyuko was handling him. I didn’t make any objections, because Sasha was finally walking over.

“Ready to go?” she asked Arnold. He nodded. I bid them farewell and good luck before I went back to the Scrydome.

“Why are you still here?” demanded Nazrin. “We’re starting in five minutes!”

I went straight for Patchouli. “Will you be alright? I won’t be here to carry you back, not right away.” The time away from the mansion was hard on her.

“I called for backup,” she responded. I glanced at the koakuma she had brought, but then Patchouli gestured toward the crowd. I almost flinched when I turned and saw who was sitting in my seat.

It was Kirisame Marisa. She had open seats on either side of her, and embarrassed humans on either side of the gap. The black and white witch gave me a frigid smile with ice-white teeth, and tilted her big black hat back in greeting. I mirrored the expression with my sun hat.

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“Hey,” she said. Marisa yawned. “I’m here to provide, erm, whatzit ‘ya wanted?”

“Professional feedback,” said Patchouli beside me.

“Criticism,” said Marisa. “I’ll be watching your every move, boy.”

“I look forward to your insight,” I said, trying to sound genuine. I resisted the urge to tell her I was probably older than she was. Instead, I gave Marisa a slight bow.

“Underconfident,” said Marisa. “Cowardly, weak, overly… um.”

“Submissive,” suggested the koakuma.

“Thanks! Also your hat sucks.”

“Get going!” said Nazrin from beside me as she yanked on my sleeve. She tapped her wrist that didn’t have a watch on it. I flew off.

“Slow!” called the witch from behind me. I didn’t call anything back or try to defend myself. Danmaku wasn’t allowed in the human town, but provoking people was a bad idea anyway. Only idiots would do that. I grit my teeth.

I needed to make a good show of it. I tried to stop worrying about Arnold getting cleansed, or about Marisa’s asinine commentary. She’d be badmouthing me to anyone who could hear, I was certain. My first expedition would feature a heckler.

My gut twisted and my cheeks burned preemptively. I tried to put it out of my mind.

—

Nazrin allowed spectators to ask questions. The utility of that was apparent after Arnold’s impromptu lecture. During slow periods I could afford to split my attention. Patchouli would let the voice of one or two others come through at a time.

“Marisa,” said the mouse youkai. “What is your question?”

"Why are you fighting that fairy?” asked the magician.

“To build up strength through grazing,” I said. “And to feed her.”

“Just go around! Or learn to graze for real, eh?"

“Placating the fairies has utility for protecting the scavengers of Human Town.” I hadn’t worded it as casually as Arnold would have, but I was trying.

“Next,” said Nazrin. “Miss Shiraki?” It took me a moment to remember that was Reika’s family name.

“Why are you doing this?” asked the bathhouse attendant. I wasn’t sure if she’d done it on purpose, but Reika had tee’d up an easy one.

“Ostensibly, to save the human village,” I said. I may have imagined it, but I thought I heard a witch laughing. “There is another reason, though. To bring back Maroon, the fairy of the Scarlet Devil Mansion.”

“Who is that?” asked Nazrin. “Several people asked.”

“A former student of mine, for reading and writing,” I said. “The fairies of the Mansion don’t know how to read and have little interest in learning. Maroon was exceptional and was to be the first. Hopefully the others follow suit and lead better lives as a result. Uh, the Scarlet Devil Mansion originally hired me for that. To teach fairies to read.”

“Mister Deshpande,” said the mouse youkai.

“How will this course bring her back?”

“Miss Yakumo and Miss Matara said that this expedition might lead to her revival. Youkai existence depends on belief and symbolic action.” I blasted a fairy. “It’s not quite belief, not quite spiritual energy, but… an action taken in her name. The idea is that if I did a difficult thing for her sake, she would return. So I suppose I’m really doing this for Maroon.”

I flew over the fields silently. There were no more questions. Not being able to see the audience bothered me. I’d said little about humans, and a lot about youkai. They might not understand, or even if they did, they might not agree.

“They liked that,” came Patchouli’s voice. I almost responded, before I realized from its quiet, subtle quality of her voice that she had thought that to me and me alone.

—

I blasted each boulder until I found the fairy’s hiding place. She was behind the third.

"You're playing too defensively - this isn't a spectator sport!" came Marisa’s voice.

“That wasn’t a question,” said Nazrin.

“It was rhetorical, though!”

I dodged by dropping, but I was careful to avoid letting anyone get behind me so I wouldn’t be surrounded.

"Stop overthinking everything and just ATTACK already!"

“I am attacking,” I said as I attacked. “Quit attacking me.”

“I can’t tell, are you sure? ” I was struck by danmaku. “That’s a freaking question! Look, it confused him!”

“Oh my god, would you shut up?”

I continued to fire vectors. They were large; I was angry. For a moment there was a surprising lack of unhelpful feedback.

“Huh. I didn’t expect her to actually listen.”

“Oh she’s still going,” said Patchouli. “I just muted her.”

I blasted a rock fairy: a gnome.

“Of course I muted you, you aren’t providing genuine assistance or respectful commentary.”

Patchouli had forgotten to mute herself. I finished off the last denizens of the Fantastic Blowhole, some smaller youkai.

“Marisa, if you don’t sit down, I’ll have no choice but to kick you out!”

Several moments of silence followed. I landed on the cavern floor, near the Bridge People No Longer Cross. I walked forward, and toward the first boss of the run.

“That’s right. An army of literal demons.” Patchouli’s voice was raised, which really wasn’t good for an asthmatic who was allergic to spaces without enough literature. “Don’t test me!”

“Is everything okay there?” I asked. “Look, I can handle–”

“Genuine, useful feedback only,” said the librarian.

“Got it,” said Marisa. “Mister Thorne you… need more confidence!”

“...thanks?” I waved at Parsee and Yamame. “Are you saying that because I’m actually pretty good?” The pair of youkai entered the battle against me without a word.

“No, numbskull, just stop dodging so freaking early!” came Marisa’s voice. “The bullets don’t even get clo–!”

I dodged some fire from Yamame. The spider youkai no longer tried to sneak up on me. She switched places with Parsee pretty quickly. The pair of youkai were as eager to get to the village as I was to go to the Old Capital.

We had to battle, of course–that was required for politeness and appearances, since youkai of the rebellion couldn’t very well admit that they wanted to help humans–but that didn’t mean we needed to have a conversation every time.

“Insults are uncalled for,” said Patchouli over the connection.

“They’re highly motivating,” said Marisa. “... you hikikomori!”

“That is neither an insult nor motivating, nor true.” They had stopped fighting for approximately thirty seconds. “This is supposed to be a respectful and quiet event, Miss Kirisame.” Did Patchouli even know what the witch was like?

“Is something wrong?” asked Parsee. The green-eyed youkai’s facial expression was more gleeful than sympathetic. She was hoping that something was wrong.

“Just dealing with some backseat gaming,” I said.

“Tasty stuff, whatever it is,” said the youkai.

“You think this is a game?” asked Marisa. I could almost hear her slap her knee. “Pfwah, no wonder you keep losing! And why are you flying in straight lines all the time, ze? Is changing direction too compli–”

I modulated my speed to dodge a stream of danmaku as the witch was cut off, my motions jerky and headache-inducing. The battle continued as I dodged the spell cards I’d come to recognize. Marisa was being a bitch and making me look bad, which was helping nobody.

“Conviction Mines!” I shouted.

“-itical feedback, I promise.” Marisa paused. “Can he hear me?”

“Yes,” said Patchouli.

“What kind of boring pattern is that? At least make it flashy!”

Marisa was cut off again.

“Patchouli, is this advice really helping?” I asked as I wove between Parsee’s pink flowers. “I’m trying to concentrate here.”

“I had hoped for better,” said the librarian. “Why are you being so confrontational, Marisa?”

I had the horrifying, bone-chilling realization that Patchouli genuinely couldn’t tell why someone might be mad at someone else when they were both the hanging nodes in a three-node polycule. Yamame hit me with a bullet before I’d recovered from my dismay. I shot her back.

Yamame was defeated. She politely waited for Parsee to catch up, that is, to lose.

“I just haven’t ever seen a human that was so bad at danmaku,” said the witch. That was a straight up lie. I was pretty good! I even heard other members of the audience start to argue in my defense. “Look, you can all suck at danmaku, it isn’t a competition!”

“Tone whatever this is down, until the appropriate time,” said Patchouli.

I defeated Parsee. She settled on the ground next to Yamame.

“I hope you figure things out with your friend,” said the spider youkai. She seemed to genuinely care.

“I’m sure I will,” I said, although I didn’t know if she was talking about Patchouli or Marisa. Technically, neither was my ‘friend.’ One was a friend with benefits, and the other a friend with drawbacks.

There was merciful quiet as Patchouli stopped transmitting anything at all. I changed back to my winter gear, and tried not to think about the argument my girlfriend and her girlfriend were having in front of an audience.

It was too embarrassing to accept. At least Patchouli seemed to be on my side in all of this.

I had no idea whether Marisa knew I was sleeping with Patchouli. I suspected so: why else would she be so mean? Except, some part of me had expected her to come confront me in a spectacular danmaku battle the moment she learned. There was a reckoning that would have to be had–I thought. Did she already know?

If this was how jealous Marisa got without knowing… with only knowing that I worked with her girlfriend, not that we had been intimate… I was a dead man.

“Alright, Mister Thorne.” came Patchouli’s voice through the crystal. “We may continue the expedition without hindrance.”

“If you say so.”

“Miss Kirisame has left the Scrydome.”

“That’s no good,” I said. “Where’d she go?”

“I neither know, nor care.”

I looked back toward the Bridge that People No Longer Cross.

“I care a little bit,” I said. I wondered if I should wait for Marisa to show up, just in case that was her plan. I could imagine the witch trying to outshine me like that. “Should I come back? You will need help getting back to the mansion.”

“I can handle myself, Mister Thorne,” said the librarian.

That put me in a dilemma. Patchouli had needed help getting back to the mansion twice before, after every expedition. I had no reason to suspect that it would change. But if I defied her while she was already pissed at Marisa, would some of that anger bleed over to me?

“Mister Deshpande has a question,” said Nazrin.

“More of a suggestion. Don’t fear, Mister Thorne. If Patchouli needs help, I will come to her aid, as will the other danmaku users in the audience.”

“You can’t fly,” I said.

“And why does nobody here know what a question is?” asked Nazrin.

“I couldn’t say,” said the koakuma.

“Will the demon and Nazrin be enough?” I asked.

“Yes,” said Patchouli. “I feel strong, Mister Thorne. So please. Continue.”

I looked back once more, then toward the frozen Old Capital. There was nothing for it but to continue. If Marisa showed up while I was fighting the oni, that would… probably work to my benefit? She might defeat them before I could get to them. Or she might attack me right afterward, or right before, or at the same time.

I prayed to Matara Okina or whatever god was appropriate that Marisa wouldn’t become one of the enemies on our expedition.