“I was so worried about you!” cried Arnold as he held us, one in each arm.

“Didn’t Patchouli send a message about us?” I said.

“A fairy told us you’d be okay,” he said, “but she said it so ominously! Then she cackled!”

“I believed her,” said Wiki. I opened my arms, and he shook his head.

“You said they lie constantly,” shot back Arnold. Maroon really wasn’t like the other fairies, I thought.

“The cackling was a lie,” he replied. “I’m glad to see you two, though!” Sasha went and sat on our bench, which had a cushion on it.

“We decided to stay a few days, rather than test Okina’s limits,” I said. “Utsuho and Miss Kaenbyou carried us back, by the way.” Sasha had ridden up in Kaenbyou's magical wheelbarrow, a thing the Hell cat used to carry corpses, at least according to the lore. Sasha’s wing was still broken.

Utsuho and I had just held hands. It was a lot easier to fly with the Hell raven half-holding me up, even if her skin was anomalously warm.

“You’re just in time for the festival,” said Arnold.

“That’s not a coincidence,” I said. “Satori and her pets went to set up their booth. But I think I’m going to sit this one out. I’m tired from cleaning Satori’s stables.”

“Oh really?” asked Wiki.

“She has a lot of pets, many of which aren’t real animals, I’m pretty sure.” Her pet jackalope had tried to gore me, then ended up sitting my lap for like two hours. “I got tons of good information though. For example, Satori likes to convert an animal or two to a fully-fledged youkai every decade, and she does this by reading their mind so much that they turn into monsters.” I pulled out my notebook and flipped to the start of my notes about the Palace of the Earth Spirits.

“I already suspected that,” said Wiki.

“She told me that her magic makes consciousness contagious.”

“Excellent,” he said. “Do they–”

“They become immortal, they gain the ability to transform into humanoid shapes, and their human form’s duration depends on their power,” I said. “Many of them are too weak to use danmaku or to remain humanoid for long. We should talk about the oni first, though, this is all out of order.”

“I need a nap,” said Sasha. She went upstairs without another word. Wiki watched her go.

“I thought she’d be more hungry,” said Arnold. He looked at a pile of potatoes he’d baked in advance.

“Oh, Miss Kaenbyou can cook,” I said. “We ate like kings yesterday. Before you ask, no, they don’t have enough food for the village. Satori read that in my mind almost immediately.”

“Sasha’s turning into an oni, isn’t she?” asked Wiki, making me do a double take.

“How can you tell?” I asked.

“She had two bumps on her head,” he said. “And she came back barefoot and in a small kimono.”

“The kimono’s on loan from Koishi,” I said. “And she coincidentally lost her boots.” Our plan was to compel the oni to return them, after we figured out how to defeat them.

“I dig the swimsuit, by the way,” said Arnold.

“Oh, so that’s what that is,” said Wiki. “I was waiting for you to tell me about a dance routine or something. Well, is Sasha actually sprouting horns?”

“Yeah.” I sighed. “She ate oni flesh.”

“Gross.”

“Before long, someone should go wake her up, she needs to be cleansed again,” I added.

“You too, buddy,” said Arnold.

“Fine, fine,” I said as I waved a hand. “I’ll go too.”

Arnold was right. I didn’t want the youkai-ification process to proceed any further. I’d gotten magical healing for both my leg and my eyes, which had recovered over the course of Saturday. The rapid healing was convenient, but I had to stop relying on it if I wanted to remain human. Fortunately, Kochiya Sanae could cleanse us at the booth for the Moriya Shrine.

“If someone has to spend a week down there every time you lose, we’re going to have some issues,” said Wiki.

“We don’t,” I said. I started to debrief him, but he held up a hand.

“The festival’s starting. Go get Sasha so you can get cleansed.”

–

Sasha and I walked through a very large crowd. She pulled at the hat I’d loaned her so she could hide her not-quite-horns. Its wide straw brim clashed with her black clothes, and I kind of regretted volunteering it because I just wanted to wear it myself.

“Ugh,” said Sasha. “Can’t I get cleansed next time?”

“Nope,” I responded. “You’ll regret it if you put it off.”

“At least I can boil water.” I gave her a look. “Because I’m the kettle, and you’re the pot.” I tried to make my look less forgiving.

“Pots can boil water too.”

My youkai-ification was supposed to be a secret. I’ll admit it was paranoid to assume that Yukari might still be listening, but it still made me uncomfortable to mention it. I felt bad enough about seeking help. Sanae might infer something was up if we kept visiting her. We needed better information security.

I spotted a familiar face in the crowd. It was Reika, Wiki’s ex-girlfriend. She gave us a small wave. I waved back, but it was Sasha who started walking us over to talk to her.

“It’s rare to see you at this thing,” said Sasha.

“I’m still working,” said the bathhouse attendant. She handed each of us a coupon for a soak, half-off. “That hat doesn’t suit you. It’d look much better on a moron.”

“Thanks,” replied my roommate. “Hey, we heard about you and Wiki. Even if you aren’t dating anymore, I’d still like to be your friend.” Good ol’ Sasha, not beating around the bush.

“Me too,” I added. “I’m sorry it didn’t work out.”

Reika nodded. “It happens. Have you two decided to pair off?” She pointed at the hat.

“Oh, no, I’m just loaning–”

“I’m just trying it out–”

Reika laughed. “That’s a relief. You can do so much better.”

“Hey,” I said. “That was uncalled for.”

Reika raised an eyebrow. “What if I don’t clarify which of you I was talking about?”

“That’s still–” I started.

“It was Sasha,” said Reika. “Anyway, I was kidding. Sorry. I’m in a bit of a bad mood.”

“Because of your breakup,” I said with a nod.

“Yeah,” she said. “But also because the bathhouse has even fewer guests now than before the second wave!”

“Everybody has their own bathroom now,” I said. “It’s to be expected.”

“I didn’t think so many people would be happy with cold showers!” added the attendant.

“Hey, did the price go up?” asked Sasha.

“Miss Yakumo isn’t subsidizing us anymore,” said Reika.

“I think you have multiple problems,” I said. “I’ll take advantage of this coupon, though.”

“I’m glad,” said Reika. “Well, you two no-love-birds have fun at the festival.”

–

We made our way to the Moriya Shrine’s stand.

The booth was busy. There were thousands more men in town than there had been, and Sanae continued to be attractive and flaunting it. Her goddesses weren’t in attendance, but there were three shrine maidens with her. They were humans who had decided to work at the Moriya Shrine.

Reimu’s shrine also had a few ‘maidens’, but they were mostly men who patrolled the weakest part of the barrier and carried back junk. Somehow the Moriya shrine had recruited a disproportionate percentage of the few hundred human women in Gensokyo. Based upon the stares of some of the men, and the shrine maidens’ carefully-neutral expressions, I figured they enjoyed climbing a mountain to get away from it all.

Sanae herself was the opposite, practically dripping feminine charm. I saw heads turn as she walked back and forth.

Raghav and one of his lieutenants were there as well, wearing the red and white caps. Danmaku may not be allowed in the village, but both of the policemen had batons at their hips. Raghav’s open posture reminded me of Youmu’s calm but tense stance during our practice sessions at the Scarlet Devil Mansion. He was ready to bust a person’s head, if need be.

You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.

When Sanae saw us she put down the stack of charms she’d been selling and waved Sasha over. We approached. I stared at Sanae’s green hair. She wore two ornaments: a silver snake and a jade frog.

“Decided to join us, finally?” asked Sanae.

“Not today,” said Sasha. “I came for another cleansing.”

“I’m glad you took my advice seriously!” said the shrine maiden. Sasha said that Sanae recommended two or three cleansings, just in case, and I nodded glumly. “Who is this?”

“My roommate,” said Sasha. I introduced myself, and the shrine maiden’s green eyebrows went up.

“Kochiya Sanae,” she said, offering me her slender hand. “Wind priestess, youkai exterminator and shrine maiden.” The air swirled around her in a display of power that made everyone in the audience catch their breath.

“We’ve met,” I said as I took her hand.

“Glad to meet you anew,” she said. “Let’s not waste any time.”

Sanae touched one of the other shrine maiden’s shoulders as she walked by. I realized that a cleansing might be a good thing for an intern to witness as part of her training.

The shrine maiden led us into a small tent behind the booth. Inside there was a round table with two chairs. I ended up standing awkwardly to the side as Sanae and Sasha went through the first cleansing ritual. The newer shrine maiden also stood to the side, ready to assist with materials.

First Sanae asked Sasha what happened. My roommate explained our misadventure in Old Hell, and how she’d eaten some flesh of an oni. Sanae’s expression darkened, but she did not interrupt. She said a few words to the other shrine maiden at the end, and the purification ritual got started.

Sanae took a vial of salt from her assistant, a stack of talismans, and a water bottle. She asked us to be quiet, then started waving her prayer stick while mumbling prayers.

“Stomach and head,” said Sanae after several seconds. “Not as advanced as I feared. That’s not your hat, is it?”

“Oh, I forgot about this,” said Sasha. She turned back and handed the hat to me, revealing the bumps on her forehead. Sanae stepped forward and gently touched one of the nascent horns.

“You should not eat food provided by youkai,” said the wind priestess, her expression hard. “Especially not oni!”

“What about, um, Satori?” I asked. “Or one of her pets?”

“They’re not likely to poison you, but I wouldn’t trust their eggs.” I felt alarmed; we’d eaten an omelet there. “I don’t think the mind-reader would inflict harm on one of her guests, but those things don’t come from chickens.”

There was at least one famous bird at the Palace of Earth Spirits. Maybe Utsuho had helped with the cooking more than I’d realized? I felt sick to my stomach. I introspected about what would make eating a sentient youkai’s egg more disgusting than eating a chicken egg.

“The Oni practically force-fed me,” said Sasha. “It couldn’t be helped.”

“You lost a contest with them,” said the priestess. “Not danmaku, either.”

“Yeah.”

“We, uh, actually won,” I said. Sanae shook her head.

“You may have won an apparent contest, and then later lost something you didn’t recognize as a challenge.”

I thought about it; maybe agreeing to eat at all was the loss that Sasha had experienced. Or maybe it was when they’d interrupted our escape.

“No more oni contests,” stated the shrine maiden. Sanae was putting the water on her fingers. She smeared some salt across Sasha’s forehead. “This is serious indeed.”

“What about danmaku?” I asked. “We may have to battle them.”

“That is only dangerous for the typical reasons,” she said. “Danmaku is a pure expression.”

“What if they force us to eat?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” she said. “Danmaku itself is pure, but oni flesh is extremely cursed. So it’s hard to say which principle would win out.”

“I promise not to eat food from oni, or to get into contests with them,” said Sasha.

“Good.” Then Sanae pushed one of the bumps in and my roommate yelped.

Ow! Fuck!” She patted her head.

“Would you like to keep the other horn?” asked Sanae.

“No.”

“Then address me with respect,” said Sanae. She pushed the other horn in and Sasha winced. “Say thank you.”

“Thank you, Miss Kochiya,” said Sasha as she rubbed her smoothed temple. “For curing my horniness.”

Sanae’s eyes narrowed. “You’re welcome. A moment of quiet. We are almost done.”

The priestess prayed and waved her rod, beseeching the gods for protection and purification.

The prayer was quick and practiced. A smell of sulfur suffused the air as evil fled from Sasha’s body. There was a moment when Sanae looked pained, or even fearful, but the moment passed and her serene expression returned. Then the shrine maiden tore off one of her talismans. She modified it with a pen and handed it to Sasha.

“Put this over your stomach, just under your breastbone.” I resisted the urge to joke about breasts not having bones. None of the women would appreciate it, I thought. “Come back next week, and we’ll make sure that was enough. I imagine it was.”

“Thank you,” said Sasha. Her eyes had bags under them. “God, I want a cigarette.”

“That good, eh?” asked the lesser shrine maiden. Sanae pretended not to hear.

“Alright, Mister Thorne,” said the wind priestess. “It’s your turn.”

“Wait, that’s it?” I asked. “I expected a lot more ritual. A lot more…” I waved my hands at the salt and talismans as Sasha and I traded places. “Praying, and sacrifice, and symbols.”

Sanae nodded and sat down in front of me. “Here in Gensokyo, monsters are real and dealt with on a daily basis. Shortly after we came here I figured out which parts of the rituals work, and which parts are parasitic traditions. Naturally, we only use the effective parts.”

“That seems like a good way to forget to do something important,” I said. I thought of the ruthless efficacy and impatience of modern medicine.

“I optimized under the supervision of my gods,” she replied. “They seem like good authorities on the matter.”

“I see,” I said.

“Anyway, please tell me what sort of trouble you’re in. You ate the flesh of an oni as well?”

“Um, well, no,” I said. “I did receive a transfusion, as Sasha did. And Youmu stabbed me with her sword, destroying my kidney, which Patchouli replaced.”

“That shouldn’t be a problem,” said Sanae. “Provided that Patchouli used your own flesh and blood?”

“She used some ham,” I said.

“Heh. Is that all?”

“I think so?” I said. Sanae stared at me.

The shrine maiden looked at Sasha, then at her intern. “Would you escort Miss Conti back to the parade grounds?”

The shrine-maiden-in-training nodded, and led Sasha out of the tent. Sanae turned back to me. She waited a few seconds, then continued in a gentle voice.

“We are all sometimes led astray, Mister Thorne.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, not knowing what she meant. I didn’t like being alone with her.

“Sometimes we are tempted. Sometimes, in a daze, we let… a stranger take our hand, not quite believing what is happening.” Her green eyes met mine. Her expression seemed accepting, and understanding–if not approving. “Have you had relations with a youkai?”

“No!” I said. “Well, one kissed me once, but I ran the heck away!”

Sanae nodded, chuckling. “Just a kiss?”

“I found it pretty frightening!” I said, as I remembered Sekibanki’s eyeless and swiveling head. “She jumped me!”

“I didn’t mean to diminish the significance of the event, Mister Thorne. Well. A little saliva might worsen your problem. I suggest you stop being… surprised… by youkai as soon as possible.”

I still couldn’t believe people thought I’d be dumb enough to seek something like that out. Sanae stood once more. She went to get her assistant and resume the cleansing. I sat there, my face burning.

I’d enjoyed kissing Sekibanki at first.

Sanae and the assistant returned. The shrine maiden began to pray and wave her cleansing rod around me. I sat there awkwardly. As she lifted her stick, I tried not to look at the cut sides of her dress, which seemed to have been custom-tailored to make that difficult. I could see most of her side. She filled the dress well.

I found it difficult to bend my neck back and look at her face, so I looked at the table instead. I tried to ignore any sinusoidal motion in my peripheral vision.

Sekibanki had kissed me as a distraction for Marisa, to hide our secret information sharing sessions–and for no other reason. She’d altered her appearance to frighten me and send me running. It had not been romantic! At all! It wasn’t even something I chose!

It should be easy to forgo that. And yet, I felt a weight settling around my neck. Of course you couldn’t have relationships with youkai; it would poison you. Obviously. Why had I thought otherwise? Except, that didn’t quite add up, because Marisa and Patchouli somehow–

I smelled smoke just before the rod burst into flame. There was a swirling of air and the fire put itself out. Sanae was frowning.

“That’s not supposed to happen?” I asked. My face was still red.

“Sometimes it’s just because the rod is old,” said Sanae. She grabbed a new one from her kit, but it began to smoke almost immediately. “Okay, maybe yes, this is a problem. Your head, eyes, nose, mouth, back, side, stomach,” her eyes twinkled, “and right leg are all suffused with evil. Is there anything you’ve left out?”

“Oh, uh…” I said. “I was also blinded by vengeful spirits?”

“That’s odd,” she said. “Your peepers seem to work.” She’d caught me trying not to look, I worried.

“Oh, and the wings,” I said. I extended them to show her what I meant. “Does that make a difference?”

“Some,” she said. “Keep going. What about your leg?”

“I broke it,” I said. “Miss Yagokoro did a surgery on my ankle.”

“Her magic should not corrupt you,” said Sanae. “She uses the techniques of the Outside World. And your mouth has an obvious explanation, but what of your nose?”

“I’ve been tasting strange things,” I admitted. “Phantom smells and tastes. Often food but… not always.”

Sanae sighed, and took a deep breath. I got the faintest sensation of salt on my tongue.

“Anything now?” she asked.

“Yeah. It’s, um… soy sauce? Tofu?”

“I was afraid of that,” she said. I could literally taste it. “This is beyond my ability to handle. You’ll have to talk to Lady Suwako.”

“Not Kanako?” asked her assistant. I remembered the sharp-tongued goddess in red. She had been intimidating, but she had stopped coming to the festivals after the first few.

“He is dealing with a powerful curse,” said Sanae. “More than either of us can handle. So our elder god is called for instead. I’m sorry, Mister Thorne. You’ll have to journey to the Moirya Shrine for cleansing. And I wouldn’t wait for long if I were you. More of your body is cursed than not.”

“...shit…” I said. “How long do I have?”

“Until what?” she asked.

“Until I die or something?” Sanae laughed, and explained that I wouldn’t die unless Yukari decided to come back and execute me for breaking the rule against becoming a youkai. “Fine, then. How long until this is irreversible?”

“I can’t say,” she said. “Days, at least. Probably weeks–but Lady Suwako will be able to speak more confidently.” She gave me a vial full of crushed plants.

“What’s this?” I asked.

“Lavender and other medicines,” she said. “Sniff it to help you ignore the smells and tastes. It will help reverse some of the damage.”

“Thanks,” I said.

“Would you say you are a person who’s good at ignoring unpleasant thoughts, Mister Thorne?”

“N-no,” I said. “I specifically don’t ignore them. That makes things worse.”

“Not in this case,” she said. “It’s critical that you learn to do that as soon as possible. Those sensations are the curse digging in its roots, and the more you think about them, the worse it will be.”

“That seems like a dangerous thing to tell someone who shouldn’t be worrying about it,” I said. I’d been adding every scent to a table at the back of my notebook. I might be well-and-truly-fucked.

“I try not to lie to people,” she said. “The lavender really will help, as long as you sniff it when you experience those sensations. Feeling those sensations isn’t the problem; focusing on them and amplifying them is the problem.” She put a hand on my shoulder. “Learn to be calm, and let them pass without concern.”

There was a zero percent chance of that happening. When we stepped out of the tent into the fading evening sunlight, I resolved to go to the Moriya Shrine the very next day.