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43| SINS

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YING YUE ZHAO was unfortunate to have a mother whose morals had become loose after selling her body for money. She did not even oppose when one of her customers wanted to drag her only daughter on their dirty bed to perform illegal sexual acts.

"..Mama... It's really hard to get close to Mr Mianzi McKenzi, but do you think I should continue?" Ying Yue's worried voice, asking for reassurance resurfaced in the stillness of the basement. The contrast was sharp, and the voices in the recording was nostalgic to Zhao mama's ears. Her lips quivered at the surging emotions.

"My Yue... you can do whatever you want. Mama loves you.."

These were the kind of exchanges recorded in the little chip Feng Mian held, and they were a complete set 8 months after she had transmigrated into this world. Even after Ying Yue was sent to the Liu's, she had the inconspicuous voice recorder in Zhao mama's bedroom. In her quest to learn the truth of her enemies, she was pleasantly surprised to find out of a mother as stupid as Zhao mama.

Even if she allowed Ying Yue free reign over her actions out of love, she was the legal guardian and according to the law, she should have never allowed Ying Yue to have a sexual relationship with a man. In fact, she should have reported it to the authorities if she couldn't control her child, to avoid complications.

Zhao mama was fortunate that there were other crimes on top of Ying Yue, lest she would have been the one dragged in jail. And people merely forgot about her due to other astonishing news. She was always an elusive woman after all and able to keep her silence even in dreadful circumstance.

"...But what to do. I find you irritating the more I look at you. It's exactly mothers like you who spout nonsense in the face of their children that cause unwanted tragedies!!" Feng Mian growled, her frost-cold eyes bloodthirsty.

She had not intended to let go of Zhao mama so easily. Mothers may be capable of birth, but if they were also the cause (or partly) of their children's miserable life, then they should have never given birth to them at all!

Feng Mian has always been resentment to her parents, in the previous life and in this world. Irresponsible and selfish parents such as what she had were not needed. Children were innocent, but they had to carry their parents' sins, no matter how heavy!

Her heart wretched with so much agony that she wanted to kill Zhao mama there and then. However, she wouldn't make it too easy. She didn't deserve an easy escape from life.

Feng Mian slowly tortured Zhao mama in the basement and had been gone for a night. Fei Long was very worried, but so as not to alert the young children and the elderly, he dragged a few expert men to search for Feng Mian himself only to see her bloody in the forbidden basement.

It can only be accessed by the two of them because of the double security scanners that required their eyes and finger print. His heart felt like it was shot by a thousand arrows when he saw her wrench state, she seemed like she had lost a piece of her soul and even then, Zhao mama was left barely alive.

He quietly hugged her from the back despite how dirty she looked, nestling his face in the crook of her neck and be comforted with the faint fragrance of her body. He could feel the calm beating of her heart despite having performed a gory torture, releasing all the demons inside of her that have remained over the years.

The sad fact was, Feng Mian will never be able to get over her torturous childhood. It will forever be engraved in her heart and remembered until her hair was white. Silent tears spilled over her pale bloodied face. They were warm, making her eyes heat up. She didn't even know why there were tears in the first place, but she knew, even if she used Zhao mama as a scapegoat for her mother's sins, the scars left behind will never heal.

Fei Long embraced her whole being silently, placing soft kisses on Feng Mian's face. He wanted to let her know that she was his treasure, he was there for her and will always be a place of solace for her heart. Maybe... he was born to simply love her.

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Zhao mama remained alive for Feng Mian to deal the finishing blow.

Her wounds were not tended, nor were her clothes changed. So her pain was almost unbearable as she was dragged in a car and brought to a very isolated villa where she could only see a sea of Cherry Blossom trees in full bloom.

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"Look straight ahead and at the woman in a white dress." Feng Mian coldly said, also staring at the white clad woman standing at the balcony in the third floor. The wind blew her long hair off her face, revealing her beautiful countenance. She looked fragile, as if she was always sickly but she looked content as her eyes overlooked the sea of Cherry Bloom trees.

Zhao mama was speechless. "Ying Yue...!" She tried to run but not even a step, she was tripped onto the ground.

"Just look. I'll give you 5 minutes." Feng Mian paused, her hands crossed over her chest. "She regained consciousness 2 months ago but only for an hour or two every three days. Her brain is not good and don't recognize the people around her, even Iker Matheus. It's most likely from psychological trauma of wanting to bury everything in the corner of her mind, where she can feel safe." She explained generously, only to cause pain in Zhao mama's heart.

Knowing her only daughter was alive but cannot approach was painful for a mother. Especially for one who believed she had been loving her daughter the right away.

True to her words, after 5 minutes Feng Mian grabbed Zhao mama's scruff and threw her inside the car mercilessly. Inside the car, Feng Mian's indifferent voice then said:

"Here is the plan. I'll throw you off a cliff and file a missing person's search warrant, so even if years passed, your rotten body would be found."

Hearing this plain and simple, Zhao mama felt conflicted but fear was still her strongest emotion when Feng Mian was nearby. A night of torture was enough to completely brainwash her mind into seeing a devil instead of a human.

"..." She was completely tongue-tide. She knew she had no right to say anything anymore, understanding the fact that she was only left alive to think about her mentally damaged daughter. Her child was alive but might not even be aware of why and how she came about to that point in life. And when perchance she remembers her past, it would be too painful to bear after experiencing a good life under Iker Matheus' love and care.

The most painful a human can feel while living was not death, but living while knowing you were dead inside. Ying Yue will eventually be eaten by regret and blame, for ever inflicting pain to the person she had come to genuinely love in the form of Iker Matheus. It would be her greatest nightmare years later.

Feng Mian quietly drove for hours until she finally stopped in the middle of nowhere and a cliff at the side, waiting for Zhao mama to dive in. It looked like a never ending abyss below and god knows how far the fall could be.

Her heart was empty but heavy, it felt murky and she knew it would leave her a bitter taste if she truly did kill Zhao mama. But she was at a point of no-return, preferring more to have a mother like her to never appear than knowing she was alive.

Once again, she silently dragged Zhao mama by the scruff of her clothes, leaving behind a trail of blood from the opened wounds. Zhao mama couldn't even struggle anymore, merely looking up at the starry sky that looked so welcoming to her impending death.

Her life was miserable, she almost scoffed at herself but it was much too painful to open her mouth anymore. Her hooded eyes stared longingly for peace.

The wind blew away Feng Mian's shoulder-length hair, making it dance with every gale. The chill could not be compared to the coldness of her heart. She was merely a few steps away from the cliff before she completely stopped her advance.

"Are you worth it?" She questioned to no one in particular, her frost-cold eyes shaded.

Zhao mama slumped onto the cold hard ground, her consciousness almost fading. Despite her utter fear towards Feng Mian, she found a little comfort having a devil witness her last moments in life rather than dying alone.

So subconsciously, she croaked. "C-can... you take care of... Yue for me at least?"

Feng Mian hovered her frost-cold eyes over Zhao mama's miserable face contorted with pain. "No."

"...." She expected it already, but hearing an instant and direct response cut her heart deeply. Not even for a dying person would Feng Mian relent.

"Roll over if you want, I won't push you myself." Feng Mian finally decided, slumping on the floor and sitting herself crossed-legged.

"...." Zhao mama was even more speechless. In the end, the devil did not want to finish her job, or did she want to make it even more painful for her? After all, death was her only respite now.

She grunted, painfully moving her limbs. Her tendons on her wrists had been cut so she couldn't support her momentum with her hands, but with her elbows instead. However, there were a great many cuts on there too.

For the sake of dying, Zhao mama rolled 5 feet towards the cliff and heaved labored breathes before finishing her struggles. It was enough, she can die now.

There was no point in living without a child to rear or a husband to love. Not when a devil like Feng Mian was alive and capable of making her life a living hell.

She looked up at the starry sky once again, seeing millions of ghost stars. What could be the afterlife? She wondered.

Feng Mian silently watched Zhao mama roll her last and into the abyss, hearing the faint sounds of a body slamming on a hard surface from time to time. The sounds echoed far and wide, indicating how deep the earth crevice was.

She remained there even after an hour had passed, blankly staring at where Zhao mama had been. Then in another hour, she felt a thick warm coat embrace her back and over her shoulders, together with that familiar scent that had become her greatest comfort.

As soon as Fei Long embraced her from her back, Feng Mian turned and nestled her head in the crook of his neck, warm tears silently spilling.

He hugged her even tighter, as he too placed his lips onto her neck, softly whispering:

"I'm here..."

Feng Mian whimpered, almost inaudible with how much she tried to hold back. It felt like a weight had finally been lifted off her chest and she was finally able to breath deeper. But it also made her feel conflicted as tears uncontrollably fell.

They continued to embrace each other until Feng Mian had calmed down and fallen asleep in Fei Long's broad chest. He gently kissed her lips before departing.