When was the last time I sat still? I had succeeded on that day; I started moving and have yet to stop. It didn’t feel like it. nothing ever felt. The world looked to pass me by so slowly, but days went on like seconds.

I lay in my bed, the windows in the manor were boarded up, mine were the last of course. The state of my room however wasn’t what I cared about. My hands held tightly onto my head as my fingers pressed into my skull.

The few layers of flesh that separates the bones from meeting were squished. I felt pain, pain, PAIN. It was something, but it didn’t feel. Pain wasn’t an emotion. I knew I felt when I went out. Every day I felt, but when I let myself still, I didn’t feel.

It didn’t matter the feelings of the past; I knew no such thing as the past. I needed to feel now, NOW was the only time that existed to me, I needed to move. I was empty. Just responding to the horrors of my mind and the ticking of the environment.

I bit my lip, I clicked my fingers, nothing. Nothing could set me free; magic didn’t exist… magic, those fucking mages!

Anger, yes, a spark. The happiness extinguished the anger, but I knew what I needed to do. I rose from the sheets and went to training. my skills had ceased to improve long ago so I stopped training with the sword. I would get plenty of experience as a mercenary anyway. The rest of my effort was poured into the halberd.

The polearm I felt most comfortable with was definitely the halberd. Ever since I first got the hang off it, things just clicked.

By the time I got into town I already felt like the morning was so far away. One of these days I would have such an episode and never move again.

I preferred to be stably unstable. My pain only got in the way when it was erratic. The knowledge that I was broken made me want to dig my fingers under my jaw and separate my head from my neck. However, I had already decided that my thoughts would take a backseat today.

I walked into Cliffsin and eventually made my way to the back of the town. There was a quaint little house that sat there, and I walked up to it.

The door was unlocked so I walked right in. a voice greeted me as soon as it caught sight of me.

“My lady, you are early. I do believe we had agreed to meet in a few days.”

“Something came up and I decided it would be best to hurry things along.”

“In that case what do you have in mind?”

“I want to get you registered, under a different name. once we have that done I was thinking that you could use that new identity to buy a shop.”

“Have you come across something to sell?”

“Possibly, there is an old apothecary out west of here. Last time I checked all research materials were abandoned. They probably left them when the mages hit.”

“Alright, selling medicine should be quite profitable.”

“there’s something else as well, I want you to start gathering information. The guild says they know nothing. The merchants around here aren’t large enough to know either. We are isolated in a bubble here; without the crown’s authority we are fucked.”

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“As you command.”

“…”

I stood there as I had run out of things to say, and it seemed that he too was firing blanks. Several weeks had passed since I first picked him up. He had moved to Cliffsin with his own money and the shop would also be with his money. I wondered where his loyalty came from, but then again it wasn’t like he was using the money in the first place.

In order to break the silence before it could grow any staler Mr Cedar spoke up.

“My lady, what should be my registered name?”

“That is up to you to choose.”

“Then perhaps blabbermouth.”

I tilted my head at him, my confusion was palpable despite the lack of words.

“Well, my lady, you are Shh and I assume you are going to make me do the talking, so…”

“It makes sense, but are you really okay with being called blabbermouth?”

“of course, it will bring a bit of brightness into such serious times.”

I decided not to mention the true meaning of my name instead opting to agree with him.

“Go for it.”

“In that case what should I wear, I was thinking of a suit with a red tie.”

“Just make sure to cover your face, the manor is nearby.”

“I would definitely have to go for one with some extravagance then. Actually, I might be able to pull off a plain mask like yours. Actually yeah, let’s have the plain black mask symbolise the team.”

“You say that as if there’s more than just us.”

“Well…”

“Spit it out.”

“I happened to come across the previous head guard.”

“So that’s why you took so long, you were enlisting the others.”

“Just him, though he is skilled enough to be worth it. He will keep his word, there’s also lessons. He used to teach you before he retired and now you don’t have a teacher.”

“What’s wrong with you teaching me?”

“My ability to form instructions are… sub par.”

“You wouldn’t guess that you were an aide for so long.”

“Nope, but that’s a good thing now.”

“I suppose so, get ready I want to get this done with today.”

“Mark will arrive in a few days…”

“Then we sign up without him. I used to think we had time, but I don’t know what’s happening outside the region. Until proven otherwise I am assuming for the worst.”

“Wise, give me a second I will be right with you.”

Mr Cedar scurried off and came back a few minutes with a plain black suit and a white shirt. He was missing a red tie, but his belt was well stocked. Next to his sword was a medicine pouch and a few other knifes for both skinning, butchering and combat.

“Do you want me to get the mask for you, or do you have one?”

I asked him about his currently bare face. I already knew the answer, but it was worth a shot.

“If you would be so kind I would greatly appreciate it.”

Before I could get out the door, he chirped up again

“Oh, and a red tie if you feel so inclined.”

I didn’t bother responding and continued out the door.

The main street was filled with peddlers as usual. There were many different foods and fruits as well as tools and trinkets. The stall I was looking for didn’t seem to be there but I came across a sign for a clothing shop nestled between two stalls.

I knew I would regret it but I ventured in and easily found a red tie. The colour was more of a burgundy and it had a floral pattern in a darker stitch, but it was the only one there.

A silver and two iron down, I left the store and continued my search.

It took much more effort than I had expected but I eventually came across the same peddler that sold me my mask. They had a few blanks by the side, and I pointed to one.

“Fifteen iron.”

I was dressed as Shh and really not in the mood to bargain. Although I got scammed, I decided to show my dissatisfaction by dropping the coins Infront of him instead of handing them over.

The man kept a smile on his lips and handed me the blank mask.

Slightly disgruntled I returned to the house with the mask and tie.

“here”

I handed them over and he gave no thanks, instead he put them on. He knew that I would much rather progress over words.

“Ready!”

Mr Cedar exclaimed with a flourish. The way the old man did such an energetic twist removed my previous good impression.

“Let’s go.”

“Yes boss.”

We left through the front door. There was an abysmal chance that we would gain enough ire that doing otherwise would be worthwhile. Mr Cedar’s only identifier was his voice and his grey hair. Cliffsin had plenty of it’s own old people due to it’s proximity to Crypton and we were mercenaries. All in all we fit right in.