In the middle of a freshly blood-soaked camp, I sat there, staring at a piece of wood. My eyes drifted along the hundreds of flowing waves. The dark plank of wood was in a miserable state, but I was bored.

For too many reasons to remember I wasn’t allowed to fight this time. I didn’t really want to either, but I understood what Mark had said the other night. There will come a time where I will need to do this on a far larger scale, and possibly even more horrifically. I also understood that they were being considerate, but they could at least let me help setup camp.

Eventually setup was complete, the fire begun, and we gathered around to cook our meat. The Bandit’s didn’t have any that was… fit for consumption, but Mr Cedar was lucky enough to catch something. it was unrecognisable by the time he brought it back to the camp, but it was definitely something.

Maybe attracted by the smell of the meat, or the sight of burning bodies someone approached us. Mark and Mr Cedar looked like they hadn’t noticed the figure, but their hands were already near their swords.

The figure was hunched, their hands rubbed together incessantly. If I could notice that this man was bad news the other two would surely take care of them. they didn’t move immediately though and let the man approach.

When he arrived at the fire Mr Cedar stood up to greet him.

“what brings you over here stranger?”

Mr Cedar was cheerful, but that cheery smile sent a shiver down my spine.

“I-I, uh, I heard that you were hunting the robbers around here. I can be a guide, I know the area, I know where they are coming from.”

“Thank you for the offer, but we happen to know the area quite well.”

Mr Cedar began turning his chest away but kept his eyes on the man.

“WAIT, I know when they leave camp, I can help!”

With that the stranger uttered his last words, a blade was now embedded between his brows. As the man plopped to the ground I asked Mr Cedar.

“Care to explain?”

“He was either a liar, or a liar working to kill us.”

It seemed that at least one in two questions I asked would be answered like shit. In an annoyed voice I asked again.

“Care to explain?”

“He said he knew when the bandits… actually robbers is more fitting. Anyway, he said he knew when they left their camps right?”

“Indeed, he did.”

“When has trade ever been consistent in the region?”

“It has not.”

“Correct, therefore if they don’t want to sit around all day for nothing, they will plan each day in the morning.”

“Then what if he was just lying and not working with the enemy?”

“I don’t like liars.”

I looked to mark, just because you don’t like them doesn’t mean they have to die. Mark gave an understandable answer, however.

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“He has a reason, one all three of us know quite well.”

“Ah.”

It was understandable, wrong, but understandable.

In the silence that followed Mark shuffled a few times before finally asking.

“Why are you so calm?”

“What do you mean?”

“Yesterday you broke down, but today you seem fine, bored even.”

“I don’t know, it just kind of, happens that way.”

“that’s probably not a good thing.”

“Probably.”

With a sigh Mark returned to sitting in silence. Mr Cedar seemed to also want to ask the question, and he settled down. Night came and the night’s welcoming embrace granted us slumber.

our journey continued on, each day we added the charr of our victims to the sky. There wasn’t just the usual pile of holes In the ground. Some camps had walls, others had shacks, but they all died nonetheless.

The reason why we stopped today was for something that gave even the bandits creeps. It was a man, well if he was human than he looked to be male. Their head was tuck on their left shoulder, and they had a smile. The flesh that had been cut away from his face ensured that not a single tooth was hidden. Paired neatly with the man’s long smile was his limbs, his arms reaching down to his knees and down to the floor when he bent over.

The miracle that was the man’s anatomy was actually rather interesting. Unfortunately, I couldn’t wonder how the fuck their body worked as Mark began explaining.

“We have five camps left to visit. We were meant to visit that fucker last, but it seems he has come to us. Ah, yeah, explanation time. This group has three figures that allow them to actually manage all the rabble. The lanky fuck over there Is the muscle, then there’s some well-dressed dude as the brains and then a standard bandit leader.”

“Neat. So, if he’s the muscle then do we take him down first?”

“Normally I would say we go at night and just pick them all off, but we aren’t that strong at night and it introduces a nasty variable. I will take on the rabble, you go with Speedy McGee and deal with the leader.”

Mark said two things that surprised me. the first of which was that he called Mr Cedar “Speedy McGee”. the second one was that he allowed me to go near the leader. This time I had no ‘it was reasonable’ I genuinely didn’t think this was a good idea.

Before I could voice a complaint Mark took off. Mr Cedar was kind enough to wait for me to realise what was happening, but he didn’t stick around. Giving in I too rushed in.

For the most dangerous battle we were using the most dangerous tactic, stupidity.

Mark cleared the path from any and all torsos but left the legs. Mr Cedar and I weren’t that far behind, but we turned away and headed to the lanky guy.

The bandits weren’t ones to sit still, and the lanky guy struck his hand at Mr Cedar. the old man dodged, but the hand kept going nearly reaching me.

I pulled out my sword, which in hindsight was something I should have done the moment I entered the camp. I brought it up to take a slice at the man’s arm, but it was gone before I could do any damage.

The man’s other arm appeared near Mr cedar, but this time he didn’t dodge. With a heavy thwack the arm was sent flying into the dirt. The dust it kicked up was minimal, but the graze left behind was substantial.

“PHYUCK GYOO!”

The man expressed himself rather loudly causing me to rush in. the threat of getting another headache was motivation enough and I shouted as I swung my sword at the man’s chest.

“QUIET!”

The man seemed to be taken aback more by my choice of word than the sword coming to his chest. But even still the man made a formidable defence and counterattack in one blow. It was rather simple too; he just punched my blade.

It was my turn to be taken aback, and I looked at the sword that nearly went flying back into me. then I looked at the blood trickling from between his knuckles.

With the man’s attention drawn by me Mr Cedar launched an attack. His blade preferred the taste of the mans legs but only managed to slice the surface. Possibly out of frustration Mr Cedar swiftly brought his blade in for another strike. This time Mr Cedar carved off the man’s side revealing the ribs beneath.

“FUCKING STOP, SHTOP IT!”

The man spoke far clearer than before. but after saying that he had managed to collect an issue about the size of his heart… The which he was now missing.

Mark’s hand pulled out from the man’s ribcage and dropped the heart. He shook his hand sending the blood flying into the ground before looking over to us where he received a weird look from Mark.

“What? He was hurting my ears. I managed to get this far without hearing problems, I don’t want them now.”

Mr Cedar just sighed. after that I finally realised that they were trying to give me some better combat experience. This entire trip seemed to be answering the unasked question of “how fast, and in how many ways can you fuck up giving advice?”.

I would find that funny if it weren’t at my expense.