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Weeaboo's Unfortunate Isekai: The Necromancer's Gacha
Vol. 2 Chap. 59 Respectful Negotiation WIth Rats

Vol. 2 Chap. 59 Respectful Negotiation WIth Rats

“What does “sic ‘im me- ghruk!”

Rikka was on top of Yellow Feather, popping out of the shadow of the hill and leaping on him like an outraged spider. She yanked one of his arms to the side, making him shoot far wide. The other arm drove her kunai up and into his lungs. Once. Twice. Three times. She was accelerating now. The look on her face was terrifying.

“Alive and able to answer questions, Rikka. You did really well. You did well. I am very happy with your work.”

She settled down a bit, but her hateful glare never left the raider. She didn’t act like this with the monsters. Maybe because he was a human? Not a right-this-second problem.

“Search him, disarm him, keep him pinned.”

Once my Awakened had done their jobs, I crouched down next to his head. “This has become a weirdly familiar position for me. Not something I ever thought I would be doing, but you know how it is. You do the job in front of you. Speaking of, I flat out refuse to believe you have an irrepressible need for shovels and hoes. What are you doing up here?”

Yellow Feather clearly wasn’t as bold as Red Feather. He started singing immediately.

“It’s not about us having the shovels and things. It’s about Genuda not having them.”

“Makes sense, but you still didn’t think of this on your own. This was an ordered job. Those horses don’t look like farm horses, which means you didn’t steal them locally. Where did you get them? Who gave the order to clear this place out?”

“Brought them. Brought them. And the feathers agreed-”

“Nope. Not what happened. Buddy, I’m not good at torture. Honestly, it kind of makes me sick. So what’s going to happen is I’m going to take a little walk and the incredibly brutal women who slaughtered your entire command are going to take turns on you.”

“I’m dead anyway.”

“Yes, you are. But if you talk, you can get revenge on Ko’Ras. You think we don’t know what happened to the Hosk Confederacy? You think we don’t know Wastet is theirs? We know. You are just confirming things, and then you can join your family in the afterlife. It will be quick and painless.”

I felt my lips moving, the words coming from shows and movies and games, but it felt alien. This wasn’t me. I don’t talk like this. Think like this. But the words spilled out of me, and I meant each and every one of them. But I didn’t. I’d never torture someone, or order them tortured. That’s sick. But I would. I would let my Awakened rip Yellow Feather apart.

The thoughts and emotions tore back and forth inside of me. But on the outside, I was crouched down by the raider’s head, my voice calm and firm.

“How, how could you-”

“I know that if you don’t start talking, your last living act will be eating the flesh of your own men. And thanking me.”

He shuddered. I could see tiny tears forming at the corners of his eyes. “Versifer Thorn. He’s the real boss. He came all the way from Ko’Ras. Him and his… gods.”

Monsters, and in huge numbers. Got it.

“Are those ‘gods’ here in Verton?”

“A few. Only a few. Most are in Wastet.”

Dodged a bullet there, it seems.

“The horses?”

“They were left in a stable for us. I never saw who.”

I kept my face still. I doubt Othai managed to.

“What were your orders?”

“Destroy the land around Verton, then be the vanguard in the attack on the city. Poison wells. Dump corpses in them. In the rivers and streams. Burn the crops and the seed grain. Burn the people in their homes.” He was almost gone. I could see the light dimming fast.

“Where is the stables you got the horses from?”

“Little village down the road. Galvino.”

“Who are the traitors? Give me a name!”

“Me. I’m the traitor. I’m so sorry Vera. I’m so sorry. I couldn’t save you. I’m so sorry.”

I watched the life slip out of him. In the end I sighed and closed his eyes. My hands still shook, but it was easier the second time. What was happening to me? It almost felt like an out of body experience. Like I was haunting a body that was speaking and acting on its own. Was it dissociation? A psychotic break would, honestly, be completely reasonable. I didn’t think so, though. The Nightmares were really helping me relax, and that fishing mini-game was like a meditation session.

They say crazy people don’t know their crazy, but hell, don’t people check themselves into mental hospitals? And I don’t think I’m crazy. I really don’t.

“Come on, everyone. Clean up the battlefield, then it’s back to Verton to give Truso his stuff. But on the way, let's have a quick stop in Galvino.”

Galvino was a very pretty little village, with ancient stone houses lining the street and acres and acres of orchards growing around them. I couldn’t tell if the fruit was ripe. The grapes looked good, but what do I know? And the wheat… looked wheat like. I have no idea how you can tell if the wheat is ready for harvest.

“Anybody know how you can tell if the wheat is ready for harvest?”

Surprisingly, it was Versai who spoke up. “When the head bows, Tower Master. See how most of the wheat is standing upright, but some have bent over? The ones that bent over have grown their seeds as big as they will get, and now the weight is pulling the head over.”

Huh. The aristocrat knows about wheat, I guess. Presumably from sitting on the back of a tall horse and watching the peasants do the harvesting.

“So this field is, what, a couple of weeks from harvest?”

“Maybe less. I’m no farmer.” Versai shook her head.

The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

“Well, when in doubt, ask a professional. Pardon, mam?” I called out to a village woman. “Is there a stables in town?”

“In a little village like this?” She shook her head. “The only one with riding horses is Vanzetti, and he built a stable for them. The rest of us keep our work horses in the barn.”

“Is this one of his horses?” I pointed to the one we got from the raider. The others had run off. I asked Rache how the hell any mortal horse could outrun her and she just gave me a blank look. Game mechanics, I swear.

“Hmm. I recognize the white splash on his forehead and the braids he puts in the mane. Yes, that’s one of Vanzetti’s horses alright.”

“Thanks so much. By the way, do you know where Vanzetti is?”

“At home.”

“Thank you very much, you have been very helpful. Last question, how long until the wheat harvest is ready?”

“What?” She looked confused.

“We were curious about the wheat harvest.”

“What?” Her expression didn’t change at all.

“Are you ready to harvest the wheat?”

“What?”

“My Lord, look at the other villagers.” Othai’s voice was soft and low.

I looked around and saw the same two faces over and over, one male, the other female. The only unique looking woman in the village was the one I was talking to. I had that strange moment of dissociation again. I know it’s a game. I know it’s running on game mechanics, but I never noticed that the pick was forced. I just… she was the first villager I saw, so I just asked…

She was a plot arrow. Next stop, Vanzetti’s house.

“Which way is Vanzetti’s house?”

“Up the hill right over there. The gate is painted red, and he has a stables. You can’t miss it.”

It was a beautiful little village. Now it was haunted by mannequins. Italy has a huge population crisis- not enough people. There are entire empty villages in Italy, and towns where you can buy a house for one euro if you promise to actually live there. I’ve never been, but I wonder if it’s like this. Beautiful homes, in a beautiful country, with only ghosts living in them.

Vanzetti’s house was empty. The stable had been cleared out. There was a dead man hanging from the rafters. The veins in his legs had been cut, and so had his throat. All the blood had been thoughtfully caught in a large tub, a crusty loaf of bread, half eaten, still floating in it.

Calculated horror. This was a calculated, aimed atrocity. I immediately thought of the village outside Wastet. “Check for traps. Check that nothing nasty has been packed into his body. Then cut him down.”

“Yes, my Lord.”

He was clean. The barn wasn’t boobietrapped either. We searched quickly, but there weren’t any obvious clues. Or un-obvious clues. My two highly motivated scouts tore the place apart, and didn’t find anything. Outside the barn was a different story.

“Hey, Boss? I found this by the gate.” Rache turned up with a bright brass button. It looked like it could have been torn from a jacket or something. Though… Did people wear brass buttons on their jackets here? I don’t remember seeing anyone who did. Definitely something to keep an eye out for then.

I briefly wondered if it had been deliberately planted as a red herring, but swiftly decided I was giving the designers too much credit. “Lost Button” seemed exactly their speed. I wonder what new faces I will meet back in Verton.

I sighed and looked up at the lovely sky. “I wonder if a new Nikke game is out? There must be a new Fate game, they churn those out like Ubisoft franchises. Speaking of, did those frogs ever fix their historic-building climbing simulators? Because the RPG mechanics really feel like a misstep.”

There was a soft cough from Othai. “My Lord?” Her voice was delicate. It seems I wasn’t the only one worried about my mental health.

“Just remembering home, Othai. Nothing to worry about. Come on everyone. Back to Verton.”

Truso looked reasonably pleased to get his shovels and hoes back. I’m guessing, anyway. An opinion based on the lack of filthy looks directed my way. “Why didn’t you bring any of my people?”

“I didn’t need ‘em.”

“Using your own troops is a bold choice. Given the sheer number of raiders around.” Ahah. Maybe I shouldn’t have taken the filthy looks for granted. Truso’s whole deal was making Genuda the exclusive military power in these parts. He was likely above-average pissed.

“I was saving my bones for a bigger deployment.” I scooped my reward off the barrelhead. “Back in a minute. Just need to see a merchant about a map.”

I hadn’t lost sight of the main job- get the farmers back in the city. I had learned my lesson about trying to circumvent the plot. But. BUT. Given what we had seen at Wastet, was that really the best plan? I don’t think so. So I would break this into parts. I’d start evacuating villages, but we’d do it segment by segment.

Each evacuation had a very high likelihood of triggering a raid. Which is why I would have Miyuki hidden somewhere up here and signalling us down below. I’d have to figure out something for the flags, but it was doable. She would let us know where the attack was coming from, and I’d have my mercs set up behind walls and ditches to ambush them. Then hop on waggons and be off to the next village before the raiders could adjust.

Two big problems remained- getting the flags made and not getting stabbed in the back. Because that was coming. It was just a question of who. Which meant that leaving Miyuki hanging out all by her lonesome was a… low percentage play, let us say.

Or we can just say it’s too stupid for words, and we are never going to have another Kim. So we won’t be doing that.

I drummed my fingers on my leg. Then smiled. Sometimes, a problem is an opportunity in disguise. You just have to have courage, and trust your people.

“Merchant Pastet, I hope your flares were all safely delivered? Wonderful. I was hoping to buy some things from you…”

Not going to lie- I’ve never been good at arts and crafts. I’ve painted a few figurines in my time, and assembled a few gunpla. But my preferred sort of figurine comes no-assembly-required and factory perfect. Goddess, my Morrigan resin figurine alone…

My Morrigan figurine…

Morrigan…

Sorry, I went to a happier place for a moment there. Darkstalkers is a hell of a game, and I don’t even like fighting games. The point here is that I’m not to be trusted with paint and a brush. Nor, regrettably, are any of the Awakened I brought. This required that the signal flags be simple. Very simple. Like, one solid square or X of color on a contrasting solid background. Simple, simple, simple. I tried to make it just like we talked about before. Something visible from far away. Now all I needed was the telescope.

“Mr. Bocciati, I was hoping you could help me find something. Do you know if someone in this City owns a Telescope?”

“Indeed. I believe Truso does, the pig. And I believe that our ‘honorable’ Mayor does as well.”

Plainly no love lost there. Ah well. Such a shame. “I have a use for a Telescope. I’m sorry to hear that both are owned by such prominent individuals. Should you happen to find a third one somewhere. I would happily pay a high price for it.”

Mr. Bocciati nodded. “I can ask, my friend, but such things are hard to come by. Perhaps some of my neighbors have something hidden away in a chest somewhere.”

Uhuh.

“Well, times are hard. It is difficult to give up a cherished heirloom, but rune bones are going to be in very short supply soon. Better to sell while they can.”

“Indeed. Though I believe they won’t ask for runed bones.” His ring finger stroked his pencil mustache.

“Oh no? More favors?”

“A frozen diamond is, ultimately, more portable and more easily spent.”

Oh God DAMN it. That better be the most magical, God Tier telescope to ever exist.

I winced, not even trying to hide my pain. “I will make arrangements to acquire one. But I think you know such things are even harder to come by than telescopes.”

“I have faith in you my friend. I have faith.” Mr. Bacciato smiled, his bright white teeth not quite hiding the dark in his eyes.

I was a little antsy. My full plan couldn’t be put into effect until I had that telescope, but there was more to accomplish this expedition. I asked the Mayor if he had any additional tasks that needed doing as we started to move the farmers into the city. He had none.

“Incidentally, Mayor, where does the city get its water from? We are way up a hill here.”

“Wells. Extremely deep wells that fill cisterns. The Great CIstern feeds the fountains in the city that provide drinking water. Worried about a siege? Don’t be. We’ll run out of food long before we run out of water.” The Mayor ‘reassured’ me.

“Can people go into the cistern? That honestly sounds incredible.”

“Naturally. How else would we clean it?” He flicked a finger at a stone archway. There was a picture of two dolphins jumping carved into it. “It is locked, however, for what I hope are obvious reasons.”

“I completely understand. In happier times.”

I walked off to rent a heavy squad from Truso. Let’s see what we can accomplish playing this straight-ish.

“Not going to tell him about the well poisoning thing, Tower Master?” Versai asked.

“Do you think he looks like someone with the best interests of Genuda at heart?”

“No chance.” Versai smiled a little. Othai just snorted.

“On the other hand, he is so nakedly hostile, he would make a lousy double agent. If Truso, Pastet and Bacciato don’t have him under twenty-four hour surveillance, I will be shocked.”

That got grunts of agreement. “On the other hand, let us not underestimate the people’s ability to be utter morons. He wouldn’t be the first mayor to open his city to Ko’ras in the hopes of… lets say ‘power.’”

“In the hopes of throwing off Genuda’s hegemony. You can just say it, my Lord.”

“Out of curiosity, why play the influence game? Why not outright conquer your neighbors?”

“Numbers.”

“Pardon?”

“Numbers, my Lord. Genuda isn’t that big, but we have easily the best trained, best disciplined army around. So we can win wars, but we can’t keep the land we hold. And as soon as we tried, we would find dozens of our loyal neighbors jumping into the fight. Never on our side.”

“They couldn’t beat you, but they could make it impossible for you to expand.”

“So we found another way, my Lord. Taking with the pen what we couldn’t win with the pike. It’s worked quite well, until recently.”

She looked out across the rolling fields and villages around Verton. I wondered what she was seeing.

I coughed before it got too awkward. “Ready to take your first independent command in a while?”

“Pardon, my Lord?”

“I’ll be near you, but I want to evacuate that village there.” I pointed down towards the closest village. Not coincidentally, it was also one of the largest. “I’m giving you a budget of a thousand Runed Bones. Hire who you want and evacuate that village with as much of the grains and goods as you can transport. If raiders come, kill them. You will be able to command the Awakened too, except for Versai who’s going to be sticking next to me as my bodyguard.”

I smiled at her. “It will be interesting, don’t you think? Having the chance to do it right this time?”