The night sky crackled and writhed with red lightning. I had the sudden feeling that I was watching blood veins throbbing on a black eyeball, like I was looking up from the inside of the eye and now the sky was bloodshot. Blotting out the moon was the number 9. Then 8. Then 7. The temperature dropped sharply. Winds, gale force winds, bent tall trees like a demon’s hand running over moss.

“MIKA KILL THAT MONSTER RIGHT NOW!”

I didn’t hear her bark, but-

WAVE 5- COMPLETE!

And the sky was beautiful and clear once more. Happy little clouds adding a romantic touch to that giant moon.

I looked around at the massively expanded fortifications, the bloody remains of the dissected monsters. The flayed hides of the Murder Baboons. My new watch towers. The distinctly unpleasant grin Versai was sporting.

“The sixth day is in for a nasty time.”

“Yes, Tower Master. I do believe it is.”

“Busy day today. Ready to finish up our business in the Floating Quarter?”

“Finish up? We already explored all the buildings.” Versai cocked her head to the side. I blinked. For a moment there, I hadn’t seen her shattering beauty. She had just looked like Versai. She wasn’t any less pretty. The pretty just didn’t intrude the way it had before. Strange world.

I started to turn back in, when a burst of color and light flashed across the sky. I ducked flat, hearing the crack and BOOM! Then a lingering crackle. There were more blasts, more flashes of light and color. I risked a peek over the battlements- I wasn’t hearing impacts so just where-

Fireworks. There were fireworks filling the western sky. Golden sparkles dripped from the sky like weeping willows, green Saturns burst next to blue stars and purple comets. Multi-colored peonies and palms and shocking white flames that danced like fish and swarmed like bees chased across the stars and fought with the Moon for glory. It was beautiful. I watched, not sure what I was feeling.

“Tower Master, is that music?”

“Yep. Don’t recognize it, though.”

Sounded like it was trying to be hype. The show built to a crescendo, with brilliant explosions and thundering blasts everywhere. I looked around. Maria was curled up on the ground, her hand clenched around her head, Pammy fussing over her. I could see Maria trying to scream, to make the noise stop. Radz was the opposite, watching and yearning.

At the peak of the music, there was a burst of white and gold starbursts, a rattling thunder of explosions, and the words “PERFECT START!” were etched in the sky. A shower of stardust fell on me. Looked like it should have landed on my summons too, but it didn’t. Just me. Just the special one.

I was quite certain I hated the devs before, but this felt like a deeper, richer hatred. Looks like I unlocked a new hate-tier. A sort of inverse relationship system. Devs were grinding for nega-rep very, very efficiently.

One of the falling specks of gold came to a stop in front of me, and slowly flashed. I tapped it. Numb. I felt numb. I didn’t even sigh.

Platinum Achievement Unlocked- Perfect Start. Complete the first five waves without losing any Awakened Souls, taking damage yourself, or allowing monsters into the Tower. Hidden Requirement- Defeat the Monster Alpha.

Reward: Deluxe Tower Masters Quarters unlocked, Deluxe Awakened Souls Dormitories unlocked, unique Throne Room decoration, unique throne, permanent +3 to relationship growth with Six Star Awakened Souls, permanent +5 favorability in dialog checks with Tower aligned NPC’s.

Well. That all sounded excellent. Guess the relationship system was going to unlock on the sixth day. I should be happy about that. About all of this. Right now, I feel numb. NPC’s. Non Player Character. What a slap to the face.

A thin flame of rage started melting through the numbness. I felt my lips wrenching back and up. Bearing my teeth. Yes. The Awakened Souls, Sebastian, Daphnae, even Jim and his monstrous sons, were non player characters. They weren't playing at all. Me?

I love games. Yeah. Let’s play.

“Advance to Day Six.”

I was walking into my lavishly decorated, perfectly repaired Throne Room when I happened upon a pair of socks. And not just any socks! No, these were powder blue, thick as a tollbooth collector and softer than a freshly laundered puppy. They weren’t very big, so I knew they weren't mine. Who could they possibly belong to?

“Tower Master, have you seen- GASP!” Versai said.

She didn’t gasp she said gasp what the actual-

“Oh, are these yours?” I held up the socks.

She blushed furiously, the first time I had seen her blush. She turned and pouted.

Wait since when can a bloodless doll blush am i in a cutscene i’m in a goddamn cutscene you filthy-

“No!”

“Versai…”

“They are definitely not my favorite socks!” She crossed her arm and refused to look at me.

Oh god it's straight from her character sheet i bet you i find or can buy a cool jelly dessert soon

“Versai, It’s fine. I like comfy socks too.” I smiled.

“Good. You can wear them then.”

Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

“Versai…”

“They aren’t my socks!” She fled from the Throne Rom. Sigh. What am I going to do with this girl?

I collapsed on the ground gasping. “Jesus Fancy Fiesta Christ on a boogie board!”

Versai came rushing into the room, sword in hand, looking around. “Tower Master, what was that?! Is this some kind of new monster attack?”

“Worse. The Devs.”

“Pardon?”

“It was a thrice-damned cutscene!”

“Pardon? I know you are saying words, but somehow, I’m just not hearing them.”

Jammed. They were jamming her. They weren’t even being consistent on letting her know how much of this world was a game. She knew she had a character sheet for God’s sake!

I screamed. This should be a good moment, and the devs were ruining it! Ruining the “triumph” they had arranged for me. I was frustrated! What could I do but scream?

“Tower Master?”

“Not your fault. Not your fault at all.”

“No. It isn’t. I know it isn’t. But I still would like to know why you are screaming, and what just happened.”

“And people in Hell want ice water. Wanna drink?”

“No, I’m… ah. Got it.”

“Yeah. Short version? We just unlocked the relationship system. Except, to my unspeakable frustration, there is apparently a scripted storyline to the system, so I can’t know for sure if any of the things we have experienced together affects it at all.”

“I… think I follow you.”

“Quick test- what do you think about me?”

“You are the best Tower Master I have ever worked for, bar none, and one of the most decent people I have worked for. Even if you are blatantly a weirdo and the way you look at some of the summons makes me wonder when it’s going to be window time. I’ll feel bad about it, though.”

I smiled, and I could feel it reaching all the way down to my heart.

It took me a couple of minutes to gather myself. Versai looked kind of worried, but stayed quiet while just being around. Arguably the nicest thing someone has done for me in the last ten or so years.

“I appreciate you. I don’t think I have said that, but, I appreciate the hell out of you. I’m glad you were my first summons. Really. Thank you for everything.”

“My duty, Tower Master. Thank you for not getting me killed doing dumb things.”

“I damn near got you killed on the last wave.”

“Yeah. Idea wasn’t dumb though.” She shook her head. “It worked. Your crazy ideas are, in fact, working. So. You know. Quit moping and get on with things.”

“All my fond feelings, ignored.”

“I’m not ignoring them, okay? I’m not. I’m just- you said that there was more to do in the Floating Quarter?”

“Mmmhmmm. At least one more big job. We need to rescue Madame.”

“Who… wait, her?!”

“Yes? Well the mission is to find out the truth of what happened in the Floating Quarter, which I’m guessing will involve a giant battle, but the reward is she joins us as a Six Star called Carousel.”

“Her. Madame. Title and occupation rolled into one.”

“If you know her real name, I’m all ears.”

“Oh, it’s… blast it, it will come to me.”

“Yeah. Sure. Until that happy day, though.”

“But really, her? Does it have to be her? Could you get a random other Six Star? Never worked with another functioning brain, no offense, but I would really, really prefer anyone other than her. Pretty literally anyone.”

“Eh? You two have a history together? I got the impression you hadn’t really spent any time in the Floating Quarter.”

“I didn’t.”

There was a long silence. Which I eventually broke. “So why?”

“I DON'T want to talk about it.”

I buried my face in my hands, and started to laugh. What else could I possibly do?

“Did she have… going to say “conjugal relations” with one of your relatives?”

“Fun fact about my country- suggesting that a noble was unfaithful to their spouse has an automatic minimum penalty of five years labor in the lead mines, adjusted sharply upwards based on the number of social ranks between the noble and the alleged source of calamity, multiplied by the number of ranks between the defamer and the defamed. Defamation of a noble is a serious offense.”

“It isn’t defamation if it’s true.”

“What kind of horrible place are you from? It’s worse if it’s true.”

Isn’t it fun learning about other cultures?

“Come on. Let’s go see what the rewards look like. Oh, and do you want your-” I patted my storage pouch. The socks were gone.

“I mean, it’s an improvement.”

“In the sense that one is more than zero, yes.” I agreed. Ish.

“It isn’t exactly my taste, but then, different cultures like different things. Or so I’m told.” Versai was really putting in an effort to put a positive spin on things.

“It is comfortable. I must say it is very comfortable.”

“Comfortable is a rare thing in thrones. None of the thrones I have ever seen were comfortable. Basic cushion was the best you could hope for.”

“Very smooth action to it. And the color is… tasteful? Maybe? My taste in decor is highly refined, and I am dedicated to a particular aesthetic. I can’t tell if this is good or not.”

“You have no taste?”

“I have highly refined tastes. Which makes everything else seem bland.” I said, trying to scrabble back some dignity.

“That bad, huh?”

I dingnityied that away and ignored the critique. Anyone without a minimum of four body pillows is unfit to judge me. I settled deeper into my throne. It really was very comfortable, once you got past the whole everything.

“The new decoration is, I think, very charming. I don’t know what it is, though.” She pointed at the statue.

“A dog. Dogs are-”

“Are you seriously about to explain to a border noble who grew up hunting what a dog is? Seriously?” Versai gave me so much side eye, I doubt she will ever see straight again.

“You were the one who didn’t recognize it.”

“In what world is that a dog? What horrible things happened to it that somehow, it turned out like that?”

“Dunno. Decades of selective breeding? A century? I don’t know how long it takes.”

“That’s awful. It’s all… weird. The proportions are all wrong for it to be a dog.”

“No, really. They are yappy little devils, but for some reason, little old ladies can’t get enough of them.”

“You come from a nightmare country. This must seem like paradise to you.”

“I’d bet money that my townie self lived more comfortably than a noble in your nightmare country did.”

It seemed appropriate to bicker. Reclining as I was in my well padded, oversized reclining chair, upholstered in a soft microfiber dyed vivid canary yellow and turquoise, with the words “TOWER MASTER” stitched in neon purple across the headrest. Admiring my wonderful reward. A solid gold statue of a dachshund.