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Vell Harlan and the Doomsday Dorms
Book 3 Chapter 29.2: Asymmetrical Warfare

Book 3 Chapter 29.2: Asymmetrical Warfare

“Everything locked down?”

“As much as anything can be,” Harley said. “Nobody but us is getting through that.”

Harley proudly patted her turrets as they pivoted back and forth. Her usual defensive emplacements had been fortified this year, for the sole purpose of defending Vell.

“You good in there champ?”

“Yeah,” Vell said, from the other side of the sealed door. He had his defenses, his revolvers, and plenty of snacks, everything needed to wait out the storm. Hopefully he’d be swiftly unleashed to do his yeehaw bullshit, but first the rest of the school had to take out the samurai.

“You sure? Botley’s cute, but he’s not great company,” Harley said. Botley would have taken offense to that, but he was too busy having Vell pat him on the head.

“Well, I have more than just Botley,” Vell said. Quenay was hovering over his lap, admiring Botley’s adorably tiny body. “By the way, Quenay, do you have anything to do with this whole cowboy thing I’ve got going on?”

“No, actually, I had nothing to do with that,” Quenay admitted. “And frankly, it kind of scares me.”

Even as a deity, Quenay had no idea how the fuck Vell was so good with his revolvers. She had been there when the laws of physics were written, and Vell defied at least a few of them every time he drew his pistols. He shrugged his shoulders and chalked it up as yet another unsolvable conundrum in his life.

“We’re all good in here, Harley.”

“Good. Get comfy, Vell,” Harley said. “But don’t touch my stuff.”

“Noted.”

Harley trusted Vell not to go poking around, so she turned away while Lee pulled out her phone and put a conference call on speaker.

“Everybody else in position?”

“Snipers are set up,” Hawke said. Given his general combat proclivities, he’d opted for a command role as far away from the action as possible.

“Shock troopers ready,” Kim said, having opted for the exact opposite battlefield role, and would be leading the charge directly at the enemy.

“Weird science is weird and getting weirder,” Samson said. He was in charge of keeping an eye on Freddy and associates. “They’re doing something with a potato now, I think.”

“It’s called making lunch, Samson,” Harley said. “Goldie likes potatoes.”

“Oh. Then we’re all good here.”

“Tell her to eat fast, we got like five minutes,” Harley said.

“On that note, we’d best get our own boots on the ground,” Lee said.

“Very stylish boots, in your case.”

“Thank you,” Lee said, before getting back to business. “I trust you all to do what’s best, but I’ll be in touch with any special orders or updates. Good luck, all.”

Lee hung up and left her distant allies to their own devices, while she regrouped with the local forces. The seniors, of all groups on campus, were best organized and best prepared for the fight to come. After four years of experience and experimentation, the seniors were ready and waiting with the most advanced paintball weaponry on campus -along with stylish costumes and armor to really sell the part.

“Bit of a post-apocalyptic grunge look going this year,” Lee said. Most of her classmates were dressed in torn up clothing, leather harnesses, and makeshift armor. “Sorry I didn’t get the memo. I would’ve worn a shoulderpad, or something.”

“Oh you’re cool, we didn’t really plan this,” one of the seniors said. “We all just sort of had the same idea.”

The herd mentality ran strong in Einstein-Odinson students. Probably why they formed cults so easily. Lee only hoped that collective consciousness would help them win the upcoming battle. The school’s fleet of drones were swarming into position, and lighting up to display the final countdown. Lee nervously tapped her finger against the trigger of her pistol as each second ticked down.

“Three, two, one…”

The drone timer hit zero, and a starting siren blared. Lee braced herself.

After about five seconds of bracing, Lee relaxed. One of the leather-clad seniors to her left fiddled with his gun. Harley checked her phone.

“I suppose we should consider an aggressive approach,” Lee said. “Probably should have worked out more of an overall strategy beforehand.”

Lee grabbed her guns and waved to the seniors on the left side of the room.

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“All of you over there, come with me and Harley,” Lee said. “The rest of you, stay here for half an hour or so to man the defenses, then go looking for a fight if one doesn’t come to you.”

The leather-clad seniors gave some hooting war cries, apparently intent on roleplaying their costumes. Lee let them do their hollering, and led them out of the dorms. They weren’t getting shot at yet, so Lee dared to lead them further out.

“We’ll need to head for the beach,” Lee said. “We need to regain control of our island, and that means controlling the perimeter.”

Also, she knew that their samurai target would likely be found on the beach, but that was a bit of time loop knowledge she could not technically divulge. Patrolling the beach was still a tactically sound decision, though, for numerous reasons. Lee led her troops to the waterfront and started circling the exterior of the island, making sure not to stray too far from cover as she did so. The immediate area around her was quiet, but Lee knew from experience that in a war zone, there was nothing more worrying than silence.

Lee’s cautious attitude proved correct when the sharp splat of a paintball hit the Mad Max-esque armor of a senior just behind her. She hit the ground and commanded all her followers to do the same. Most of the seniors ducked as the incoming fire raced in, with only a few of the slowest caught up in the volley of paintball fire. Lee waved a hand towards the beach and used a quick burst of hydrokinesis to pull a wall of water towards them, providing even more cover. The next round of paintballs splattered harmlessly against the makeshift barrier.

“Still too out of position to return fire here, boss,” Harley said. Through Lee’s watery barricade, she could see that their opponents were firing from the high ground, making retaliation difficult. “We’re going to need a better position.”

“We’ll hold here a moment,” Lee said. “You, in the spiked football helmet! Call your friends in the dorm to come flank.”

The apocalypse-clad senior complied. The ZS students were between them and the dorms they had recently left, giving the seniors an opportunity for a pincer attack. Perhaps realizing their disadvantageous position, the ZS students briefly stopped firing. Whatever their reasons for pausing, the paintball fire soon resume, though most of the shots didn’t even hit Lee’s barrier, and instead sailed straight overhead.

“That’s not right,” Lee said. Their aim could not possibly have gotten that much worse so quickly. She turned around and watched the paintball’s continue to spin through the air, then stop and spin the other way. Towards her. “Shit.”

She rolled to the side just as one of the paintballs fully reversed course and came sailing back at her and her troops.

“Everybody move, now!”

This time even more of Lee’s soldiers were caught off guard. The boomerang paintballs hit unsuspecting students from behind, except for the rare few with fast enough reflexes to dodge the unexpected assault. Lee got herself out of immediate danger and then tightened her barrier, spinning the water into a defensive dome around herself, Harley, and what few soldiers remained. The watery dome meant they were completely protected, and also completely trapped.

“Ferrous paints,” Harley said. As a machinist, she’d recognize the scent of iron filings anywhere. “Must be some kind of magnetic gimmick.”

“Spot on,” a familiar voice said. Zee. Apparently Lee’s counterpart was taking a similar hands-on approach to leadership. Through the water barrier, Harley could see Zeus-Stephanides students getting closer, surrounding them. Lee glared at Zee and her new haircut for a while, before gritting her teeth and sending out a text for much-needed help. After years of mostly dealing with the ineptitude of Patschke-Puck, she’d been caught off guard by the competence of the Zeus-Stephanides student body. The ZS fighters were almost as smart as they were.

Lee got a response text, and her frustration turned to a smile. The enemy was almost as smart. But they weren’t half as crazy.

Zee was just about to ask for a polite surrender when the water off the beach started to churn.

“Back up,” Zee commanded. “That chick’s hydrokinetic, she’s up to something.”

“Oh, that’s not me, actually,” Lee said.

“You three, keep eyes on those students in the dome,” Zee commanded. “The rest of you, guns up. Whatever comes at us, we do not-”

The churning sea broke open, and a towering pillar of scales and muscle rose from the surf. Zee shielded her eyes from a sudden rain of saltwater and then turned them skyward, to look up at the new arrival. A two-story tall sea serpent looked right back down at her.

“-run away.”

The towering snake slammed down onto the beach with a thunderous hiss and then began writhing in the direction of the fleeing students, while its rider laugh maniacally.

“Good girl, Cavendish,” Skye said. She gave her sea snake mount an appreciative pat on the head as it bared its fangs and continued slithering towards the enemy. Zee dodged out of the way of the massive yellow head as it surged past her.

“How is this legal?”

“Don’t worry,” Skye said. “She’s non-venomous.”

“Venom is not the issue here,” Zee said. The snake’s serpentine body was taller than she was, and its tail stretched more than forty feet long.

“Well then what’s the problem?” Skye asked, as her towering sea serpent chased off a group of men it was big enough to swallow whole. Zee figured this was not an argument, or a fight, that she could win, and retreated. Lee had dropped the dome and her soldiers were starting to return fire, decimating Zee’s own troops, but Zee herself got away unscathed. Skye and her mount did another lap around the area to chase off any remaining enemies, and then circled around Lee and her troops for shelter. Since Cavendish was a mount rather than a combatant, and because she was huge, Cavendish doubled as an excellent barrier.

“Thank you for the assist, Skye,” Lee said. “And Cavendish too.”

With some hesitation, Lee gave the giant snake an appreciative pat on the scales. The yellow serpent hissed happily.

“No problem,” Skye said. “Cavendish loves an opportunity to stretch her tail, don’t you girl?”

Skye gave Cavendish a scratch near her cheeks, prompting another happy hiss.

“Aww, don’t act so cute, people will stop running away from you if they know you’re just a big happy banana baby, yes you are, yes you are!”

Skye was going full on baby-talk now, and Harley took a quick step back.

“So, are you...and Cavendish...good to squad up?”

“Only if you’re sticking by the water,” Skye said. She mounted up on Cavendish’s back and refreshed her water breathing spell. “I made Cavendish big, but she’s still best suited for ocean life. Can’t spend much time on land.”

“Than I suppose we’ll leave this stretch of beach to you and our other aquatically capable students,” Lee said. “We’ll cut through the middle and head for the other side.”

Their ultimate target, the samurai, would be on the far side of the island anyway. Hopefully this would save them some time and get Vell on the field sooner. With a sharp salute, Skye turned Cavendish back towards the ocean and disappeared into the waves, while Lee and Harley headed further inland.