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Vell Harlan and the Doomsday Dorms
Book 2 Chapter 22.2: The Witch is Back

Book 2 Chapter 22.2: The Witch is Back

“So, I don’t mean this as any personal judgment on you, but-”

“I didn’t know anything about this,” Joan said. The loopers and friends had gathered up all of the Kraid tech phone cases they could find and were trying to examine the runic software they operated on.

“Okay, just thought I’d ask,” Luke said. “You were closest to the operation. Literally.”

“The mascot costume made it hard to see anything,” Joan said. “I mean, I guess Kraid was weirdly invested in this scheme, but I figured he was just excited about ruining Vell’s day.”

“He does love to do that,” Vell said. With a click, one of his tools finally pried the material of the phone case apart. The things were surprisingly resistant to interference. Vell prided his own version of the phone cases on being easy to repair and modify, but Kraid was apparently going the opposite route. Capitalist pig. Vell cracked open the shell of the phone case and took a look inside.

“Well, shit, that’s a lot more runes than I was expecting.”

The interior of the casing was a wall of interlocked and often overlapping runes, forming a magical system more complex than almost any Vell had ever seen.

“This is several hundred dollars worth of runes,” Joan said. “And he was selling these for what, thirty dollars a pop?”

Vell tried to scan the field of runes in front of him, but couldn’t parse any of the details at a glance. There were too many unnecessary complexities and redundancies for anything to make any sense.

“If there were ever any doubt, we know it’s intentional now,” Vell said. “Next question is, what exactly did he do, and how do we stop it?”

“And how do we undo it,” Luke added. Unlike the loopers, he believed they needed a cure on top of prevention.

“That may not be...necessary, dear,” Lee said, trying to smooth over the difference in priorities.

“He might have a point, actually,” Vell said. “Joan, do you know if the school’s the only place he shipped them to?”

“No, he doesn’t really tell me things unless he thinks they would hurt my feelings,” Joan said. “Which...in this case, might be good, since if he was going to make half the world comatose, he’d probably want to rub my nose in it.”

“Either way, we should see if we can find a way to undo whatever these things did,” Vell said. “And, uh, no offense, but the rest of you can’t really do much other than stand over our shoulders and watch anyway.”

“Some things could use oversight,” Harley said, glancing all too pointedly at Joan.

“We’ll be fine, Harley,” Vell insisted. “Go. Studying what happened to those guys might help us here anyway.”

“Okay, fine,” Harley said. “And can someone call Cane? He’s the only guy here who actually knows how brains work, where has he been the whole time?”

“I think he’s, uh…”

Luke tried to subtly nod towards Joan. Cane and Harley had similar attitudes towards Joan, but Cane was far less patient. He had refused to be around her.

“You can just say it, you know,” Joan grunted. “Being subtle like this makes it worse.”

“Okay, sorry, moving on,” Luke said. All of the non-rune experts shuffled away, leaving Vell and Joan alone, side by side at a dusty workbench. They managed to power through about one minute of silent work before the elephant in the room got too elephanty to bear.

“So. How’s your sister?”

“Doing alright,” Joan said. “I know it’s just to manipulate me more, but Kraid actually does help take pretty good care of her.”

Their chance partnership had begun with Kraid promising to help find a solution for the degenerative conditions that affected Joan’s sister. Now that Joan was an official employee of Kraid Tech, that extended to health benefits. There were still no cures for her deadly condition, but the treatments helped delay the inevitable, and gave more time for a miracle to happen.

“Good. I wish I had anything to say to help, but the rune situation has been getting...much more complicated lately.”

“Maybe we can talk about it after,” Joan said.

“Maybe.”

Joan’s crimson eyes flickered to Vell, who was focusing on his work a little too intently.

“I could set up at the table over there, Vell, if you’d rather-”

“It’s fine,” Vell insisted. While he had to occasionally check to make sure he could see Joan’s hands, he was trying to work past that mistrust. It was the first loop anyway. Joan couldn’t hurt him in any way that mattered. At least not physically. Emotional harm was still definitely on the table.

“It just feels weird.”

“And it’ll never stop feeling weird unless we work through it,” Vell said. “Focus on the runes. It’ll be fine.”

“Okay, runes, I guess,” Joan said. “You know what would help, though? Pizza. Pizza helps.”

“I’m not sure the dining hall is taking delivery orders, considering the circumstances,” Vell said.

“Might as well try,” Joan said. She pulled out her own phone to text Lee about buying a pizza on her behalf. “And I have been jonesing for Pierro’s for months. They don’t operate in Germany, you know.”

“An artificial island in the middle of the pacific, but not Germany. Weird.”

“Right? I’m going to see...what did we order, back at the midterms, first semester?” Joan asked. “Let’s just get that again. We can just treat this horrifying, life or death situation exactly like the midterm exams.”

“Well...not exactly like the midterms.”

Joan went red in the face. Their attempt at an all-night study session had turned into an all-nighter of a very different kind.

“Guess that is off the table, yeah,” Joan mumbled. She buried her face in the runes to try and have an excuse not to talk. Her intense focus yielded no results, however. Kraid had covered his tracks well, apparently. From a sidelong glance at Vell, she could tell he was making no progress either. He had that look in his eye he only got on rare occasions when he was truly, genuinely frustrated by a problem he couldn’t solve.

“Vell.”

At the sound of his name, Vell turned to her. His expression didn’t change.

“Take a breath. Look at the big picture.”

Vell rubbed the frustration out of his eyes and let out a heavy sigh. He kept his eyes closed, focusing on the larger scale implications of the problem, not the minute details.

“It’s a phone case. Ideally...you’d want something that affects people brains to be as close to the brain as possible,” Vell said, pointing out what should have been obvious, in retrospect. “Whatever is doing this…”

“-probably only activates when someone is making a call,” Joan said, finishing the thread.

For only a second, her eyes flickered to her own phone, still lying on the table, awaiting confirmation of a pizza. A second was all it took for Vell to recognize she was no longer thinking about pizza.

“Joan, no.”

“It’s the fastest solution,” Joan said. She grabbed her phone, but didn’t have time to lift it before Vell grabbed her by the wrist and pinned her hand down.

“Fastest doesn’t mean best,” Vell insisted.

“Let me do this, Vell,” Joan pleaded. “I trust you and everyone else to figure it out. And honestly, I could use a good coma, I haven’t been sleeping well lately.”

“At least take a minute to think it over.”

“Okay, I’ll take a minute,” Joan said. She took a few seconds. “And...maybe we could try just making a call with it first. See if that does anything.”

“See. Alternatives. Let’s give it a try.”

Joan put the apparently cursed Kraid Tech phone case on her phone and made a call to Vell’s number, holding the phone at arm’s length the entire time. Vell stood on the far side, and observed absolutely no reaction.

“Nothing,” he said. “Now. Give me your phone and let me try holding it to my head without making a call.”

“Or I could-”

“Joan.”

“Alright. Fine.”

Joan handed over the phone and let Vell hold it to his head while she examined the runes in the case.

“Definitely something going on in there,” Joan said. “Looks like runes for ‘thought’ and ‘connection’ lining up. Pretty basic, doesn’t look like anything that would cause a shutdown, but you might want to take it away from your head just to be safe.”

Vell did just that. He certainly didn’t feel like he was about to go into a coma, but he’d been wrong about that before.

“I think that was just the proximity sensor,” Vell said. “Let’s the rest of the sequence know when the device is close to a head.”

“Like, for example, if someone is about to make a call,” Joan said. She stared at Vell intently, and he stared right back.

“There are still things we could try,” Vell said.

“Like?”

“Like...I don’t know, give me a minute to think,” Vell said. ‘We could try holding the phone to the head of someone who’s already in a coma.”

“And what if that makes them worse?” Joan said. “I’m awake, I know the risks, and I’m volunteering. Let me do this.”

Vell grit his teeth. Joan technically wasn’t risking long-term harm, but she didn’t know that, and Vell didn’t like that she was so gung-ho about jumping on a sword.

“Look. It’s an option. But we’ve got plenty of time, alright? Let’s wait until Lee and everyone else gets back with more information, at least.”

“I don’t like that we’re spending time sitting around when people are hurting, Vell,” Joan protested.

“Well you don’t have to like it,” Vell said. “Just trust me, okay?”

Joan crossed her arms and stuck her hips out to the side. Vell knew that pose. Around this time last year, it would’ve meant he was about to get laid. A good sign back then, a somewhat worrying sign right now.

“I feel like I’ve said this before, but I really like it when you get assertive like this,” Joan said. “I think confidence is the secret ingredient in the cocktail of Vell Harlan’s sex appeal.”

“I do just fine,” Vell said.

“Yeah, you do,” Joan said.

Then she jumped out of her stool and latched on to Vell, pulling him into a kiss.

The shock of the moment gave way to a tempting familiarity in a second. It felt delightfully wrong, like lighting a cigarette after months of trying to quit. But the moment of sinful delight passed, and all that was left was the bitter ashes of regret.

The moment passed, and Joan pulled away from him. Then she lifted her phone, Kraid Tech case and all, to her ear.

“God I wish I hadn’t done that,” Joan said. She hit one button, and the inner workings of the runic case lit up before Vell even had time to leave his seat.

“Joan!”

“Scold me later, problem solve now,” Joan said. She turned her head so that Vell could see all the intricately layered runes inside the phone case. Now that they’d been triggered, some of the runes were lighting up -most of them for only a second at a time, as several different interlocked sequences all triggered one by one.

“Fuck, fuck, okay. Okay, uh...transmit, locate, receive,” Vell said, trying to make mental notes of as many runes as possible. “It’s- fuck, that’s all normal phone stuff.”

“But why would a phone case need to do that?”

“And how does it shut people’s brains off, because- Fuck, Joan, this is why I wanted to at least take a moment! We could’ve planned for this, I could’ve been better prepared.”

“Well don’t waste any time complaining about it now,” Joan said. “Just get it done.”

“Fuck me,” Vell said. He started pacing back and forth to try and think over what he was seeing.

“Maybe afterwards.”

“I am getting very mixed signals from you and it is not helping,” Vell snapped, pointing an accusing finger at Joan.

Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author.

“I was- Wait, hold on,” Joan said. “Mixed signals.”

Vell stopped pacing and pointed at Joan again, this time with much less anger.

“Mixed signals,” he said. “The reason the phone has transmission components-”

“-and nothing that would cause these shutdowns-”

“-Is because the phone case is just the target,” Vell said, completing their shared thought. “The actual cause is coming from somewhere else.”

Vell picked up his own phone, bereft of a Kraid tech phone case, and called Hawke.

“Hawke, track any irregular signals coming into the island, we think whatever Kraid’s doing to people is coming from somewhere else,” Vell explained. “The phones are just the targeting system.”

Hawke confirmed he understood and started tracking the signal. Vell hung up to let Hawke focus fully on the problem -and focus fully on the problem Vell had in front of him. Joan likewise hung up her dummy phone call and stared back at Vell.

“So...any idea on the timeline between phone call and the whole coma thing?”

“No.”

“Fun.”

“Joan, that was stupid, and reckless, and- Why am I even bothering to tell you this?”

A few deep breaths later, Vell managed to push down some of the anger he felt. At least the consequences of today would be erased, even if Joan didn’t know that.

“Impulsive, probably, stupid...also probably,” Joan admitted. “But I don’t think it’s reckless.”

“How is it not?”

“Because you’re right here, Vell Harlan,” Joan said. “And you’re not going to let anything happen to me. Even if I deserve it. Which I might.”

“Joan…”

“Could I do most of the talking, actually, I feel like I might pass out soon, so I want to make the best of it,” Joan said. “I do want to clarify, earlier, I said, ‘I wish I hadn’t done that’…”

Vell questioned whether he shouldn’t just leave. He really didn’t like these first-loop confessions. He’d remember what was said, but Joan wouldn’t remember saying it. It felt unfair.

“I meant I regret tricking you,” Joan said. “At least it was just that at first. But...”

“Kind of sucked for you too, huh?”

“God, it really did,” Joan sighed. The deception had made the kiss all the worse, but it had been sour to begin with. The lies were just sprinkles of disappointment on the cupcake of regret. “Is it weird I was kind of hoping I’d pass out after I said that?”

“Is it weird I was kind of hoping you would too?”

“Little bit.”

Joan chuckled, and Vell joined her.

“God am I glad you’re not going to remember any of this,” Vell said.

“Hold on, what-”

Joan never got to finish her question. Vell caught her as she fell and laid her down on the ground gently, then breathed a sigh of relief.

“Okay, okay, decent timing, not complaining,” Vell said to the universe. “Two minutes ago might’ve been good, but you know what, this also works.”

----------------------------------------

“And now I just hit this button and...boom, Kraid shouldn’t be able to send that signal anywhere on campus,” Hawke said. Having isolated the source of the shutdown signal on the first loop, Hawke was ready and waiting to block it on the second.

“Look at you, Mr. telecom major, saving the day,” Harley said. “Not that I’ve ever underestimated your skills, it’s just, this kind of stuff isn’t usually applicable to preventing apocalypses.”

“I understand,” Hawke said. “I’m just glad I get to do this shit from behind a desk for once.”

“Wherever you’re at, you do great work, Hawke,” Harley said. She gave him a kiss on the cheek and then went to check on the other half of their operation. Lee was waiting by the docks, looking expectantly towards a boat making its way in. Harley considered making a smart remark about her excited stare, but decided against it.

After a few crates of now-harmless phone cases got unloaded, a very confused and somewhat concerned looking Joan stepped off the boat. She scanned the school while Lee snuck up on her from behind.

“Well, fancy meeting you here,” Lee said. Joan about jumped out of her shoes, but the surprised squeal turned into a delighted one as she pivoted hard and grabbed Lee in a tight hug.

“Oh, Lee, thank god,” Joan said. “And thank god for small favors. I was supposed to be wearing the most ridiculous mascot costume, but the thing just randomly burst into flames...on the way...over…”

With a smile on her face, Lee pointed over her shoulder at Harley and Botley. The tiny robot waved a lighter in Joan’s direction, prompting a sly smile from Joan.

“Oh, I see,” Joan said. She was still under the impression that Lee got portents of the future. A certain kind of future, to be specific. The smile dropped off Joan’s face. “Wait, no, you only get warnings, right? If you saw me, then-”

“No! No no no no no,” Lee insisted. She gestured to the crates. “Your, eh, employer, as it were.”

The fear on Joan’s face melted into relief.

“Yes, you are fine, entirely good decisions, as far as I know.”

Harley cleared her throat very loudly.

“Okay, one somewhat inadvisable decision,” Lee said. “But a well-intentioned one.”

“I’ll take that,” Joan said. Considering her history, one questionable decision was a major improvement. “I’m still a work in progress. I’ve been doing these puzzles-”

Joan explained her logic puzzle problem again, and Harley tried to pretend she hadn’t heard it all before. At least Lee was hearing it for the first time and could actually pay attention.

“Fascinating. I hope that works well for you,” Lee said.

“Well, apparently I only fucked up once, so that’s an improvement,” Joan said. “What about you, what’s going on in your life?”

“As of right now, pizza,” Lee said. Vell arrived, bearing Pierro’s in tow, to satisfy Joan’s apparently long-held craving. They chatted over lunch and rehashed some of the introductions and explanations they’d made on the previous loop, for Joan’s benefit, before moving on to the meat of the matter and explaining, in vague detail, some of the previous loop’s events. Vell deliberately did not mention the kiss, of course.

“You really put all three of us on the same team?” Joan asked, gesturing to herself, Kim, and Harley.

“Well, if you were all going to be hanging out, I guess I at least wanted you to not be hanging out around me,” Vell said, with a nervous chuckle.

“Hmm.”

“And, well, now that we’ve all actually met,” Vell said. “Kim?”

“I think it’s very nice to meet you,” Kim said. Her tone was stiff and cold, making it very clear she had no desire to get to know Joan any further, or to let Joan know anything about the rune on her chest. Vell nodded along, though he could not hide the look of disappointment on his face. Especially not from Joan.

“Nice to formally meet you too,” Joan said, trying her best to ignore Vell’s slightly odd behavior. “Though you should know I sort of knew about you before. Kraid liked to bring you up a lot. Especially back when you and Vell were, well…”

“That’s enough, thanks,” Kim said. She grabbed another slice of pizza and started chowing down on it, just to make it very pointedly clear she was done talking for now. Joan stared at her for a second, and then glanced at Vell. Everyone at the table could see the lightbulb go off in her head.

“Oh no.”

Any smiles at the table vanished in an instant, and the air went cold.

“Whatever you’re thinking, you’re wrong,” Kim snapped.

“No, you’re acting-”

“No no, she might be right,” Vell said. Panicked improvisation took over, for better or for worse. Mostly worse. “Me and Kim were, uh, both, wondering if you wanted to-”

Vell looked to Harley for inspiration, and found it in her general vibe.

“-have a threesome,” Vell spat. He stumbled across the finish line of the clumsiest sprint ever and immediately regretted it. Joan and Kim both stared at him with a carefully blended mix of disgust and disappointment.

“Right,” Joan said. “So. Uh, you got it too, then?”

To reinforce her point, Joan started drawing a shape in the air with her finger, making ten quick strokes in the shape of the rune on Vell’s back.

“Damn. What was that logic puzzle app you said you were using?” Harley asked. “Because apparently it works real fucking well.”

“I had a bit of a head start,” Joan admitted. “Like I said, Kraid’s been very interested in you, Kim. At first I thought he just kept bringing you up because you were dating Vell, but even after you, uh, broke up...I kind of figured there had to be something going on with you. Between that and everything that’s happened in this conversation...”

“Joan, no offense, but why did you have to pick now to develop critical thinking skills?”

Vell let out a soft moan and covered his face with his hands. Kim said nothing, and stared at the table, her hands shaking.

“I know this doesn’t mean much,” Joan said. “But I won’t let Kraid know anything if I can help it.”

“The problem is you won’t be able to help it,” Harley said. “Not if he really wants it.”

“So even when I’m just existing, I’m still fucking things up,” Joan said. “Guess this was what he wanted all along.”

“It’s not your fault, Joan,” Lee insisted. “Kraid’s outsmarted all of us before.”

“Wait.”

Vell’s moping ended immediately as he snapped to attention.

“What if he’s outsmarting us right now?”

“Well, yes, that’s exactly what he’s doing right now, Vell, it’s why we’re moping.”

“No, hold on, he has a point,” Joan said. “Why would Kraid be interested in you in the first place if he didn’t already know about the you-know-what?”

“To torment Vell,” Kim said. “But...a couple dozen people examined me after I ‘woke up’. I guess it’s not impossible one of them told Kraid.”

“And then he counted on us being focused on Joan, while he gets away with...what? Was it all about the brain-shutdown scheme?”

“I don’t see what he has to gain, other than sick kicks,” Harley said. “Which, admittedly, is reason enough for him.”

Joan was glad for the distraction of her phone buzzing. To no one’s surprise, it was a text from her boss: Alistair Kraid.

“Whatever he had in mind, apparently he got it,” Joan said. “That’s the order to pack up everything. Myself included.”

“Oh.”

A quick look around showed that Lee was the only one aggressively disappointed by Joan’s early departure. Harley almost looked glad to be rid of her.

“Eh, it’s fine,” Joan said, shrugging at Lee. “I got to talk to you guys, I got some pizza, I got to fuck up massively. The usual Joan routine.”

“Joan-”

“Don’t worry about it,” Joan said, cutting Lee off. “I’ll just get out of here. And if he tries to make me come back I guess I’ll...break my legs or something, I don’t know. Whatever I got to do to stay far away from you.”

“Well, while you still have legs, why don’t I walk you back to the docks,” Vell suggested.

“I don’t-”

“We need to talk,” Vell said, insistently. Vell rarely insisted on anything, so Joan played along, said her goodbyes, and tried to keep him at arms length as they strolled. Vell waited until they were a ways away from the rest of the group to start.

“So. First things first,” Vell said. “Whatever Kraid was hoping to get out of this, all of us probably played into it just as much as you did. Don’t blame yourself for anything.”

Though Joan tried, it was hard to take that seriously coming from Vell. He was, if anything, too forgiving.

“And secondly,” Vell said, much more slowly. “You should probably know...in that other timeline that Lee, uh…”

“Let me save us both some grief, Vell,” Joan said. “Going to go out on a limb and guess we did ‘something’, am I right? You and me?”

“Sort of.”

“And whatever happened proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that there’s never going to be anything between us ever again, right?”

“You’re getting really good at this critical thinking thing,” Vell said.

“Yeah. Put a lot of thought into that particular subject. I was...doesn’t matter,” Joan shrugged. “Guess Harley was right. Some things you don’t get second chances on.”

“Getting- it’s a pretty big stumbling block, yeah,” Vell said, trying to dodge any overt references to the fact that Joan had murdered him once upon a time, in an alternate timeline. “For what it’s worth, I forgive you. But I can’t really forget, you know?”

“Well, forgiveness is probably better than I deserve, honestly,” Joan said. “I’ll take it. So. Now we get to be weird, incredibly awkward sort-of friends?”

“Yep. Weird, incredibly awkward sort-of friends.”

“Cool. As if trying to be friends with your ex isn’t hard enough already,” Joan said. She watched a few crates get loaded onto Kraid’s boat and then pointed in that direction. “I’m going to take this opportunity to exit stage right before this conversation drags on any longer.”

“Please do, I’m dying here,” Vell agreed. With a final wave goodbye, Joan stepped aboard the boat, and departed once again.

----------------------------------------

Kraid examined the video feed from his boat.

“An elaborate plot involving an elaborate signal targeted by elaborate rune constructs,” Kraid said aloud. “And a reunion with an old frenemy. All handwaved into a non-issue before lunch. Most of them didn’t even have to do anything.”

Kraid slammed his tablet down onto the solid mahogany of his desktop. A skull on the corner of the frame rattled, and Kraid leaned forward to address his guest directly.

“Care to explain how your old friends can do that,” Kraid said. “Derek?”

The former looper tried not to tremble in his seat too much. He’d been hoping the call from Kraid Tech would be for a job, but the instant he’d shown up to the building, he’d gotten snatched away to Kraid’s office for a direct interrogation. Even Derek wasn’t dumb enough to think that was a good thing, and Kraid’s focus on his former friends confirmed it.

“I can’t tell you,” Derek said. “And when I say ‘can’t’ I mean physically cannot. There’s-”

“Do I look like a man who gives a damn, kid?” Kraid scoffed.

“It’s more than that-”

“Shut the fuck up,” Kraid said. He reached into his desk drawer and withdrew a large stack of papers. He tapped one skeletal finger against the paper sheaf. “Sign the contract. Tell me everything you know about Vell Harlan and why he can solve problems so easily. And I’ll pay you three billion dollars.”

Even a very dumb idea started to sound a little smarter when three billion dollars was on the table. The blackened bone of Kraid’s arm extended, holding out a pen in Derek’s direction. It only took a moment of contemplation for Derek to snatch the pen and sign his name on the dotted line.

“Very good,” Kraid said with a smile. “Now, answers first.”

“It’s a time loop,” Derek said. “Every day of classes, something at that school goes wrong, and every day, time loops back to the beginning of the day, and Vell and the rest of those guys prevent it.”

Kraid’s heavy eyebrows furrowed into a look of intense concentration. He’d looked into prophecy as a possible explanation, but found nothing. The time loop theory explained that discrepancy. Vell and his friends weren’t seeing the future, they were living it. Everything else tracked with what Kraid already knew.

“Who remembers? How do they select new recruits?”

“It’s random, as far as anybody knows,” Derek said. “Nobody chooses, nobody knows how or why.”

“And the time loop? What causes it, how does it function? Is there a device somewhere on campus?”

“I don’t know, I don’t know, and I don’t know,” Derek admitted. The contract he’d signed magically bound him to the truth, so Kraid didn’t bother pressing for more answers. “They told me it was all seemingly random, nobody knew the source, but they could’ve been holding out on me since I was new.”

“No...no, Vell Harlan wouldn’t do that,” Kraid said. “What else is there?”

“Not much,” Derek said. “If any of them knew how the thing worked, they didn’t tell me. Is...that enough? I could try to come up with something more, if you wanted.”

“No, that’ll be quite enough,” Kraid said, satisfied. “Let’s get you paid. I’ll even make the first payment personally.”

With a dramatic flourish, Kraid pulled out his wallet. Derek tried not to let his excitement show on his face. It got a lot easier to not look excited when Kraid deposited a single one dollar bill into Derek’s hand.

“What is...this?”

“Payment number one,” Kraid said. He had a viper’s grin on his face. “Three billion dollars. Paid out one dollar a week, every week, until the full sum is reached, or you die. Just like the contract says.”

With a flick of his skeletal arm, Kraid summoned the contract, displayed Derek’s name, and then flipped through the dozens of pages of legalese until reaching the clause stipulating the schedule on which the three billion dollars was paid.

“You can’t do this,” Derek said.

“Of course I can, you didn’t read the fine print,” Kraid said. “Which, by the way, is a mistake in two ways. I almost respected your style, but if you’re going to lie, cheat, and abuse people, you have to expect them to do the same to you. You can’t be evil and naive, Derek.”

Kraid dismissed Derek with a wave and returned to his seat, casually tucking his wallet back into his pocket. Derek stared down at his single dollar bill and trembled with barely restrained anger.

“Well the joke’s on you, fucker!”

A comment like that usually merited a disintegration, but there was a remarkable confidence in Derek’s voice Kraid could not ignore. His intense gaze snapped back in Derek’s direction.

“And what, exactly,” he hissed. “Is the joke?”

“It’s- there’s consequences,” Derek began. “People who know about the time loop, but aren’t in it? They go insane. Knowing about it makes them crazy, makes them question-”

“Question the nature of free will, I’m guessing?” Kraid said. He turned on his heel and started walking back towards Derek. His heels clicked against the bone-white marble floors of his office, every step echoing in the empty space. “They question whether decisions matter. Or worry about the consequences of their actions?”

“Ye-”

Derek’s attempt at an answer was cut short by Kraid’s skeletal hand closing tight around his throat.

“I don’t care about free will,” Kraid hissed. “I don’t care about decisions. I don’t care about consequences. All I want is to hurt people. To make them suffer. And I’m very, very good at it. So why would I have any reason to doubt myself?”

The magic used to suspend Kraid’s skeletal arm in cold-burning green fire also allowed him a limited amount of tactile sensation, so he could feel Derek trembling in his bony grip. A sly smile parted his face.

“You’re very lucky you’re shaking so much,” Kraid said. “Because right now I think it’d be funny to watch you run out of here like a scared little boy instead of killing you.”

Kraid released his grip and let Derek drop to the floor.

“Run, little boy, run.”

A lot of people had run for their lives from Kraid, but he’d rank Derek as one of the fastest. He was out the door and running for the lobby in the blink of an eye. Kraid smiled to himself and made a mental note to get the security camera footage of him fleeing later. Watching people trip over themselves in terror was always good for a laugh.

Kraid returned to his desk and sat down in his chair, glaring contemplatively at the skull resting on it. Vell Harlan had a time loop. One he wasn’t in control of, but still. Kraid needed a plan. Simple physical harm wouldn’t do the job. This was going to be a long, elaborate process, but Kraid had never backed down from a challenge.

Kraid started jotting down notes on every part of the time loop. Even the part about knowledge of it driving people insane. Maybe it actually did drive some people crazy, but the idea of Alistair Kraid somehow being driven mad was laughable. So laughable Kraid couldn’t help but chuckle to himself.

And he kept chuckling for a long, long time.