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Vell Harlan and the Doomsday Dorms
Book 2 Chapter 39.2: Breakup Bad

Book 2 Chapter 39.2: Breakup Bad

Harley was the last looper into the lair, and stepping into the room felt like stepping into a wall of military-grade misery. Given that the first loop’s apocalypse had been related to the very forklifts Lee had gone to investigate, Harley had assumed there might be some complicated circumstances going on, but this was clearly above and beyond her expectations.

“So. What’s the issue?”

“I...I think I got dumped.”

Lee recapped her interactions with Adele and her father on the previous loop, and the unfortunate circumstances they had resulted in. Harley listened to the whole story with perpetually increasing levels of sympathy and concern. As bad as it was, Harley knew deep down the worst had yet to come.

All of that had happened on the first loop. As far as Adele knew, she and Lee were still a happy couple. Technically they were, but Lee had to bear the burden of knowledge about the previous loops events. It was a logical quandary as well as a moral one.

“Well, at least she didn’t kill you,” Harley said. “That’s better than some breakups have gone.”

The attempt at levity went largely unappreciated. Lee especially did not enjoy the jab at Joan.

“I don’t know what to do,” Lee said. “It would be wrong to keep dating Adele now, right?”

“That’s...complicated,” Vell said. “I mean, technically, if the same argument never happens...”

“But I’d know,” Lee said.

“Well, when in doubt, you can always do what I do,” Harley suggested. Lee put a hand on her chin and contemplated that for a second. She squinted as she felt she started to understand the implication.

“I should...sleep with her?”

“No! Well, maybe. It’s probably not relevant to the current situation, but it can’t hurt,” Harley said. “I mean just embrace relationships as something that can be temporary. A thing doesn’t have to last forever to be good, and this was never really going to last forever-”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

Lee sat up straight, and looked genuinely offended for a moment, before the expression dropped back into one of placid discontent. Harley missed the brief flash of offense, though Vell did not. He decided not to say anything, seeing as the moment had already passed.

“I’m just saying, Lee, most people don’t really marry the first person they date. Vell, how did things end up with the first chick you dated?”

“She called me a zombie freak and ran away screaming,” Vell said.

“Bad example,” Harley said, while cringing heavily. “But like, me and Garrett just realized we had different paths to follow in life. It was a good breakup, and it’s better to realize conflicts like that and deal with them in a reasonable way, instead of letting it turn into a fight.”

Lee stared down at the table and said nothing.

“Most relationships end in well, ending,” Harley said. “That’s not a tragedy. That’s just life. You live and learn.”

The somber mood was interrupted when Vell’s but started to talk.

“Harlan? Are you there?”

“Go fuck yourself,” Vell said, as he snatched his phone out of his pocket and plugged a small device into it. The plugin Harley had designed cut off Kraid’s hack of the phone, and rendered it silent.

“Sorry. Forgot to do that in advance, with everything going on.”

“It is an important reminder that we should probably be dealing with the murder forklift,” Kim said. “Not that this isn’t a serious problem that I am empathizing with, but also: murder forklift.”

“Oh, right, yes,” Lee said. She stood up and started to compose herself. “We should deal with that. daily apocalypses and all. Can’t focus entirely on emotional meltdowns.”

Every time Lee brushed a stray strand of hair back into place, another went wild. As the mess became more and more impossible to tame, Lee tried harder and harder to do so.

“You know, Lee, we can handle one killer forklift without you, if you want to take a mental health break,” Harley suggested.

“Nonsense, this will be fine,” Lee said. “I could use the distraction anyway. Dealing with all of this will be a good diversion.”

Lee insisted upon her point by leaving the looper lair at a pace just barely short of a sprint. It actually took a moment for everyone else to get out of their seats and follow her towards the lab containing the forklift of death. She’d even made significant progress across the quad by the time they caught up.

“Damn, girl, you know how to powerwalk,” Harley said. “But there are some things you can’t powerwalk away from.”

“I’ll be fine, Harley, I can handle myself,” Lee said.

“Okay. Should I mention Adele is coming this way?”

Lee immediately pivoted behind Harley and ducked for cover behind her. A perfectly normal and sane thing to do, of course. Harley rolled her eyes.

The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

“Me? Seriously?” Harley said. “Vell’s a foot taller, use him for cover!”

“I’m way scrawnier, though.”

“Then go for Hawke! Dude’s built like a barn. And that’s a compliment.”

“I know,” Hawke said.

Lee’s unfortunate choice of hiding place met its inevitable result as Adele strolled up and poked Harley in the shoulder, then started to sign.

“Can I borrow my girlfriend for a second, or is she busy closely examining your back?”

“Uh...Lee?”

Lee grabbed on to the back of Harley’s shirt and clenched it so tight Harley’s collar started to choke her a bit.

“Lee?”

“Sorry chaos happening need to go make a phone call.”

Lee sped off with a brisk powerwalk in the opposite direction. Adele gave a wave goodbye that went unacknowledged and then looked to Vell for clarity.

“Uh. Well. Dad. He’s visiting,” Vell stammered. Even with a perfectly good excuse right in front of him, he still struggled to improvise under pressure. “You know how she gets.”

“Right. Maybe I should go talk to her,” Adele signed. “I’ve been thinking about some stuff with her family lately…”

Vell and Harley shared a nervous glance. Without the loopers intervening, events on the second loop would always mimic the events of the first -potentially including the breakup ultimatum.

“Well that sounds like an important conversation, but before that,” Vell said. “How much do you know about forklifts?”

“I know they they fork and they lift,” Adele signed. “That’s about it.”

“Well, we were about to go learn a whole bunch about forklifts,” Vell said. “Do you want to join us? You should join us!”

Lacking any ability to communicate verbally, Adele had mastered the art of giving very intense facial expressions. She aimed one such look at Vell right now, and communicated one thought very clearly: “You’re up to something, Vell Harlan”. He withered under the glare.

“Sorry.”

“Have fun learning about forklifts,” Adele signed. “I’m going to go find my girlfriend.”

Vell grit his teeth and considered intervening as Adele walked around him, but Harley grabbed him by the arm.

“Our highly neurotic little girl’s got to grow up someday, Vell,” Harley said.

“Right, priorities,” Vell said. He took one more quick glance over his shoulder at Adele. “Good luck, Lee.”

Lee didn’t feel particularly lucky. She was even having trouble connecting to Joan. When she finally completed the call, the connection was poor, and Joan took a minute to respond properly.

“Hey, Lee, sorry, at work,” Joan said. “I have to go to weird places so Kraid can’t spy on me.”

“Understandable. Sorry for the inconvenience.”

“Yeah, it’s fine, no problem,” Joan mumbled. “What’s going on?”

“I’m in a bit of a situation,” Lee said. Joan double checked for spy cameras one more time as Lee explained the situation. Staying awake was made easier when Joan’s blood started to boil. She had been getting her anger issues under control, but it was hard to stay calm when talking about the man whose unethical business practices had caused birth defects in Joan and her sister.

After listening to the whole story, Joan took a deep breath and counted to ten, to avoid going with her first instinct of “go to the marine biology lab and feed your dad to a shark”. Anger issues, and all that. Once she’d cleared her head, it was time for a more reasonable suggestion. Joan, still under the impression that Lee could see the future, did not bother questioning why she know so much about how this “hypothetical” breakup would play out, and focused on the details.

“Well, that is deeply unfortunate,” Joan said. “But hey, at least Adele didn’t kill you.”

“I really wish people would stop bringing that up,” Lee said.

“At least it’s me this time. Does it count if it’s self-deprecating?”

“Yes!”

“Sorry. Okay, yeah, you’re in kind of a thorny ethical scenario there,” Joan agreed.

“I don’t want to have to break up with Adele,” Lee said. “But at this point it would feel almost manipulative not to. I want her to be happy, but if she’s not happy being with me...”

“I don’t think it has to be manipulative,” Joan said. “Just make meaningful changes, and improve.”

“How?”

“Uh, well, let’s see,” Joan said. It was way too early in the morning for her to be doing this kind of thing. “Well, you could lie to your dad in a different way. Like, oh, I know! Pretend to be bi! Then you can date girls and still leave your dad with his weirdly creepy hope that you’ll pop out an heir for him some day.”

“I’m not sure I want to do that.”

“Why not? Being bi’s easy. I can give you pointers.”

“It’s not about that,” Lee said. “I don’t want my father to know. About anything. Every time he gets close to something I care about, he ruins it. He spent twenty minutes around Adele and my relationship is already falling apart.”

“Lee, at the risk of sounding like an asshole...your dad didn’t do anything,” Joan said. “You did. Your dad is what he is. How you react to him and build your relationships around him are on you.”

Lee pressed the phone to her ear and waited in silence.

“Adele has some entirely valid reasons to want a different relationship. And you have a really strong conviction to take charge of your dad’s company someday. Both of those things are good. They just can’t coexist.”

“Then what do I do?”

“You either compromise, or you accept that things aren’t going to work out.”

Lee tried to respond to that, but emotion got the better of her. Footsteps from behind her said her time was running out.

‘Thank you, Joan. I think I need to talk to my girlfriend now.”

“Okay. Call me afterwards. Whatever happens, I’m here.”

Lee appreciated the promise of support, though she hoped she would not need it. She hung up the call, braced herself, and turned to face Adele.

“Sorry about that, dear.”

“No worries.”

Adele grabbed one of Lee’s cheeks and bent in to kiss the other. Lee tried to keep her heart from pounding when she saw the smile on her girlfriends face. Adele was happy being with Lee.

But not as happy as she could be.

“What’s going on, Lee?”

“I- I’ve heard my father is coming to campus later today. It has me thinking…”

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Joan didn’t run quite as far when she answered the phone this time. She had a sinking feeling she knew what the call would be about. She was right. Where she was wrong, however, was in thinking she didn’t need to run as far.

Alistair Kraid tapped skeletal fingers against his desk with a satisfied smile on his face as he watched a frown form on Joan’s. He hadn’t even needed to make an entire phone call. Not on this loop, at least. It seemed everything was going according to plan, even across the looped time.

Based on his earlier experiment, throwing out mental shutdowns via his phone cases, Kraid knew enough to assume any attempts at major physical harm would be negated by the loops. Emotional harm, on the other hand…

“Kraid, sir, there’s a situation.”

Kraid rolled his eyes as his PA buzzed.

“Can it wait? I’m reveling in the misery of others.”

In the past he had executed people for interrupting him, but he’d done that often enough that people had stopped interrupting him for trivial reasons. If someone called him now, it was always for something important. Sometimes Kraid still executed them anyway, but they usually brought major problems to his attention first, so he still had to answer.

“Sir, uh, somehow a malevolent forklift has been set loose on the production floor,” the assistant said. “We don’t know how it got here, it just- oh no!”

The sound of sinister beeping rang out just before the call shut down. The look of delight dropped off Kraid’s face. A minor hiccup. There was still plenty to do. Plenty of suffering to cause.