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Vell Harlan and the Doomsday Dorms
Book 2 Chapter 20: Campus of the Apes

Book 2 Chapter 20: Campus of the Apes

Vell tried to keep his hands steady as the picnic table started to shake. He should’ve known that trying to carve runes outside was a bad idea, but Harley wanted to hang out and have a study group in the sun. He picked his rune up off the shaking table while Hawke started to shake too.

“Oh god, oh god,” he said. “What’s happening, did we fuck up?”

People were sprinting across the quad, clearly moving away from something.

“No, people, uh, they wiggle a lot more when they’re running for their lives,” Vell said. Having seen (and done) a lot of running away from deadly threats, he knew this was not one of them. People tended to flail around while fleeing.

“Whatever’s happening, it has nothing to do with our apocalypse. Both the Oni and the pony are securely locked down,” Lee said. The Pony Oni had rampaged freely on the previous loop, but some canny cowboying from Vell had lassoed the duo before their reign of terror could start today. While initially fearful their containment had not held up, Lee could confirm the two were still safely locked down.

“So what’s everybody running from?”

“It’s more of a light jog, dear.”

“Yeah, like what people do when there’s a car coming while you’re halfway done crossing the street,” Harley said. Then she stood up and shouted at some of the passers-by. “Hey! What’re you all light jogging away from?”

“The gorilla’s back!”

Lee, Harley, and Vell immediately stood up and started haphazardly shoving their things into their bags. Hawke had no idea what was going on, but he also started packing up his things, on his long-standing principle of not needing to understand a situation to be afraid of it. Only Kim displayed any hesitation.

“What’s the rush? It’s just a gorilla.”

“Just a gorilla? Kim, do you even know what a gorilla is?”

“Sure. Gorillas are herbivorous, predominantly ground-dwelling great apes, that...hold on, are western gorillas really called Gorilla gorilla? That’s their official latin name?”

“They’re very gorilla-y gorillas,” Vell said. “And there’s one following us, apparently.”

It had briefly impeded Lee and Harley while they dealt with a daily apocalypse two years ago, and last year it had trapped Vell, Harley, and Renard in Lee’s dorm overnight by camping outside her door. Now it was back again, for reasons unknown.

“Not really,” Kim said. She tapped her head, emphasizing her brain’s connection to the internet. “All the stuff on social media says it’s on the beach. On the other end of the island.”

Vell stuck his last book in his bookbag and stood still.

“Okay...is it staying there?”

“By all appearances,” Kim said.

“We should probably still avoid it, right?”

“Yeah, like, this isn’t official apocalypse business or anything?” Hawke asked. “No saving the world or anything? I can go?”

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“You can go.”

He did go. He goed very fast, leaving a little Hawke-shaped cloud of dust behind.

“Damn he’s fast. But he’s got a point,” Vell said. “We should just, you know, be cool, be sensible, and avoid it, right?”

Vell stared at Harley, who stared at Kim, who stared at Lee, who stared right back at Vell.

“Fuck.”

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“What’s he doing?”

“She,” Vell corrected. The gorilla was female, at least according to their old pal Renard.

“What’s she doing, then?” Harley said. Kim, who had no prior experience with the gorilla, was the only one bold enough to poke her head around the corner.

“She’s just sitting on the beach,” Kim said. “Poking at the sand sometimes. Looking at the waves.”

“Hmm. I almost want to join her,” Lee said.

It was a joke, but no one laughed. Kim looked especially serious.

“Kim.”

“I’m just thinking,” she said. “This gorilla’s clearly intelligent, right? She keeps sneaking on and off campus and nobody knows how, right?”

“I guess.”

“That’s not ordinary gorilla stuff,” Kim said. “Maybe she’s intelligent. I could try talking to her.”

The translation spell over the campus translated anything resembling a language. While that didn’t usually apply to animal noises, a sufficiently intelligent creature could make itself known if it tried hard enough. But everyone was too busy running from the gorilla to give it a chance to try.

“Interesting point but, counterpoint,” Vell said. “What if it’s a normal gorilla and it does normal gorilla things. Specifically: mauling you.”

Gorillas weren’t inherently aggressive, but a gorilla in a strange environment was likely to be easier to agitate. That wasn’t a problem for some people, though. Kim grabbed a chunk of her synthetic flesh and removed it, to remind them all she was a robot and therefore most injuries could be easily repaired.

“Oh, right, yeah,” Vell said. “Well, uh...turn off your pain receptors in advance and be careful, I guess. I won’t stop you.”

Kim took Vell’s advance and turned off her pain receptors, just in case the gorilla did, in fact, decide to maul her. She crept up to the gorilla slowly, letting the sand of the beach muffle her footsteps, until she was within a few dozen feet of the gorilla. She didn’t want to sneak up to it completely silently. Startling the creature would significantly increase the low-but-not-zero risk of gorilla mauling. If the gorilla heard her approach, she did not show it.

“Uh...hello?”

The gorilla continued staring at the waves, heedless of Kim’s presence. Kim took that as a sign of tacit acceptance and dared to take a few steps closer.

“So, everyone on campus is really curious about you, and I thought I’d try talking to you,” Kim said. The gorilla blinked once, but possibly just by coincidence. “Well. I say curious, but really they’re just sort of scared.”

The gorilla continued to not react to Kim’s presence. She took a deep, pointless breath and took a final step, coming to a halt standing just an arm’s length away from the gorilla.

“You seem smart, and you’ve never hurt anyone,” Kim said. “They’re just scared of you because of what you are. Because you’re different.”

The average person reacted to the gorilla the same way Kim feared people would react to her. They’d fear her just on the basis of being something different. Neither of them were human, and maybe that made it impossible for anyone else to understand them. Kim took a seat and rested her head on her knees. She wasn’t even sure if she was talking to the gorilla any more.

Just as Kim began to give up hope, the gorilla shifted, extending one massive hand towards Kim, it’s palm facing down and its fingers curled inwards as if it were holding on to something. Like it had a gift. Kim extended her own hands, palms up, towards the gorilla.

The creature turned to face Kim, staring at the robot girl for a long time with deep, expressive brown eyes, and then nodded her head once.

“Ook.”

The gorilla opened it’s hand, releasing a fistful of sand onto Kim’s outstretched palms. The loose grains flowed out of her hands almost immediately.

While Kim stared dumbstruck at the sand slipping between her fingers, the gorilla stood and started lumbering away, further down the beach and out of sight. Kim was too confused to try and follow.

A few yards away, in the waves, Wish Fish poked his head out of the water and stared down the beach.

“Was that a fucking gorilla?”