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Vell Harlan and the Doomsday Dorms
Book 2 Chapter 2: The Principal of the Thing

Book 2 Chapter 2: The Principal of the Thing

Vell found his way back to the usual table in the dining hall for the second time today. This time, however, he was not here for a meeting with the other loopers, though they were present. This time he was meeting with his favorite teacher, Professor Nguyen -and an oddly skeletal stranger. Vell didn’t judge, obviously, but he did have to wonder why an undead was waiting in the dining hall, waving cheerily to students as they passed by.

“Professor,” he said, before taking his seat. Harley and Lee looked expectantly in Professor Nguyen’s direction -and cast a sidelong glance at Kim, who had showed up despite not being invited. Apparently she and Vell were joined at the hip now.

“Thank you for coming, students,” Nguyen said. “I shall leave the explanations for this meeting to our new Dean.”

“That’s me,” the partially decayed stranger said. He lifted a pallid hand in a friendly wave. He pointed to a nametag on his white dress shirt, which read “Dean Lichman”. “If you couldn’t tell.”

“Oh, uh, sorry, I just assumed your name was Dean,” Vell said. He was used to the school having a principal rather than a dean.

“Oh, it actually is,” the Dean said. “Dean Dean. That’s not too weird, right?”

“Not at all,” said Harley B Harley.

“Pleasure to meet you, Dean...Lytchman?” Lee said, hazarding a guess. She didn’t want to be rude and assume his name sounded like “Lich” just because he was undead.

“Thanks for trying, but it actually is pronounced ‘Lich-man’,” Dean explained. “Though I should note I am actually a Wight.”

“A Wight?” Lee said. “You don’t seem all that vengeful.”

“Well, I died as a result of substandard personal education, and swore undying vengeance on ignorance,” Dean Lichman said. He rubbed his partially decomposed chin thoughtfully. “In retrospect, probably not the best idea to declare an eternal crusade against an intangible concept, but hey, I’m doing all right, and I’m ensuring future generations get quality education.”

“A noble way to spend a hypothetical eternity.”

“I sure hope so. Anyway, I digress,” Dean Lichman said. “I just wanted to have a quick chat with you -in public, and with a trusted authority figure nearby- and introduce myself, let you know the school is under new management, and assure you that there won’t be any repeats of last year’s unfortunate incident.”

“Oh, we assumed, just on like, what are the odds of having two completely insane principals in a row?” Harley said. The school’s last principal had kidnapped Vell and nearly killed him, so odds were in favor of the next guy bring an improvement.

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“Don’t jinx us,” Vell said.

“I assure you she has not,” Dean Lichman said. “I am sworn by supernatural forces to ensure a safe and productive educational environment for every single student under my care. So if anything starts to get strange, you feel free to just let me know.”

“We will. Thank you, Dean Lichman,” Lee said.

“Nice meeting you all! And hello again, Kim. Good to see you’re making friends.”

Kim gave a stiff nod in return, and the Dean excused himself to attend to other matters. Nguyen watched him leave with a critical gaze. Though it was only slightly more critical than the way she looked at everyone and everything.

“So, you seem like you have an opinion on the new dean,” Vell noted.

“We have different standards for professional demeanor,” Nguyen said sternly. “But our disagreements end there. He is a responsible and diligent educator, and the school will be better for his presence. Certainly an improvement from our last unfortunate principal.”

“Indeed.”

“How’s that old asshole doing, by the way?”

“Principal Isaac Goodwell has been in the care of a mental institution for quite some time, and all signs point to him staying there for the foreseeable future.”

After casually delivering that incredibly morose prognosis, Nguyen nodded once in the direction of the group and walked away in turn. The three veteran loopers stewed in the fate of the unfortunate Principal Goodwell for a moment before dealing with more pertinent issues.

“So, uh, Kim, if you hadn’t heard, I kind of got kidnapped last year,” Vell said.

“I heard. People talk about things like that.”

“Okay! Well, that’s a long story and I’d appreciate not getting into it right now, if that’s okay with you,” Vell said.

“Of course,” Kim said. “The fact that you’re safe is the only thing that matters.”

Vell and Kim started to get a little mushy, and Harley cut them off before they crossed from PDA to public indecency.

“So, Kim, how do you know Dean Lichman?”

“Oh, uh, he, uh...helped me enroll here! That’s all, nothing special! Okay bye.”

Kim abruptly left the table and skittered out of the dining hall entirely. Harley and Lee tried to share a concerned glance with Vell, but the only thing that concerned him was the fact that Kim wasn’t in arms reach anymore. The despair he felt faded the further away Kim got, and eventually he was able to focus on things that actually mattered.

“We should probably tell the new guys about all that, huh?” Harley said. Vell’s kidnapping at the end of last year was hardly a secret, after all. He had noticed some of the returning students giving him odd looks as they passed him in the halls.

“Probably.”

“Leaving out the matter of Quenay, I assume,” Lee said. She couldn’t imagine explaining the issue of a renegade Goddess tampering in mortal lives. At least not yet. Hawke was already having a hard time adapting. They’d save that revelation for later, to give him time to adjust.

“And the rune, if you don’t mind,” Vell said. He held up his arm, showing off a wristband tied with an illusion rune, much like the one he’d worn during his relationship with Joan -though much more securely attached. “I’m trying to keep it a little better hidden this year.”

“Good luck with that,” Harley scoffed. Vell attempted to protest his ability to safeguard his secret, but couldn’t muster the energy. With the chaos of his daily life, it was all but inevitable that he would be found out again.

“Yeah, but I have to at least try,” Vell sighed.