~Josie~
I felt like that 16 year old girl again. The one that had her entire life ahead of her.
The vague hope of having a wolf appear when she reached 18, still alive like a bright candle flickering within my core, my very centre. The one that thought she knew so much, that believed even then she was already a woman.
Three years later and I'm back to the night he rejected me in the nightclub. It's as if the past three years never really happened. My inner growth, my soul searching...all evaporated, gone in a split of a second. I'm 16 years old again.
Not only had he given me my first kiss, I now know he would be my first love. Perhaps my only love.
I've never felt such a powerful connection to any other male than I do him.
Nobody leaves tingles, nobody gives me that undeniable gravitational pull to be with them. If I had a wolf, I would think...but I don't and I know it is my mind trying to trick me into thinking that.novelbin
Just for once I wanted what others had, a soul mate. My soul's recognition of its true partner...I don't know, maybe he has another. He just hadn't met her yet, but he knows I'm not enough.
Maybe I had been fooling myself, maybe like he said, it was one sided. He got lost in desire, he wasn't thinking straight when he said those words. He was acting on heated passion and build up jealousy.
Like George always said, who would actually want me. Well here I am, his point proven. Maybe I should just count my losses and go back with him. At least to the outside world I would look happy. I've worn a mask for so long now...I can wear it a little longer.
I'm frozen in the long grass...the coolness of the night air now stinging at my skin but I don't feel it. I don't feel my body trembling with ice coldness as the moon has taken full command of the night's sky.
I've been out here for a while, I must have been because when I hear a whistling in the background and Lobo's unmistakable panting, I turn to surprisingly find him not alone as I had expected. But with Dad.
They both run towards me at a steady pace before Lobo knocks into my legs, almost pushing me over. His warmth acting like an electric shock that travels directly to my heart, forcing me to wake up from my frozen zombie like state. Dad stops, his eyes locked on mine, his lips parting...I really must look a state.
"Josephina?" I've remained frozen more to stop myself crumbling, but as soon as Dad calls out to me, I break down. My knees falling beneath me. If I could make a sound right now I think I would wail, but the night's coldness has stolen my voice. He takes gentle steps towards me, the long grass nothing to this alpha male... it almost bends out of its way to make a path for him.
As I'm crouched down, Lobo takes the opportunity to lick my face, his snout nuzzling into my neck. He's never seen me like this, and when I am unable to respond to his touch he howls up to the moon...taking my pain on as his.
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"Come on Lobo, let's get her back inside." Dad's hands pat the top of my pup's head, Lobo leaning into his touch. Dad has a blanket in his hand which he wraps around me. It must be late, he must have noticed I hadn't returned home from work. That hurts, to think I put them through worry.
"Sorry." My teeth chatter as I mutter the apology. I didn't mean to worry him, I just couldn't face going back to the house and seeing Knox there. Which is absurb because it is my home. I just needed a few minutes to regather myself, but those minutes turned to hours. "Everyone is looking for you, Abel said you left early. What has happened?" His supportive hand rubs at my upper back, the blanket adding a layer of warmth.