"But he's not my mate." Her bottom lip becomes entrapped by her teeth, I hate seeing her like this...conflicted.

"So? Take it from someone who doesn't have a mate, life is too short. You found a man that cares for you, that wants to be with you...make you his. Who cares what the moon thinks. I hate to say it Auntie Alora but if you haven't found your mate at this time in your life...it's highly unlikely that you ever will." Or that he is dead...but nobody likes to think their destined mate has already been killed.

"You think I should let him mark me?"

"Hell yes. Ezra is perfect for you, we all adore him, Dad trusts him completely...what have you been waiting for. Is that why you were alone...are you worried what we would have all thought?" I mean he was Dad's original beta for goddess sake. He helped Dad set up this pack.

"No, not that...it's just...hang on, what do you meant...take it from someone who doesn't have a mate?" She gives me a pinned look, making me backtrack on what I just said, using her fingers to requote my own words.

"I have no wolf." My voice is slightly sarcastic, as I point out the obvious.

"So?"

"So, no wolf...no mate." I flippantly state with a shrug of my shoulders.

"You really believe that?"

"Of course I do."

"But I thought George?"

"No...George was a bit of fun." I struggle to hide the grimace on my face.

""Was?"

"Fun that wanted more, more than I could offer him." Want to offer him. I don't want to disrespect George in front of her, he is still a pack member of hers, of Mum's.

No matter what has happened between us he is still a good man, just not the man for me anymore.

I wipe her eyes, wishing I could calm her inner turmoil, to make her see just how lucky she is to have a male that wants to be with her, wants to be open about it...to the outside world. They would be the beta couple of the Clear Water pack.

"I would be denying the moon goddess." Her voice is shaky as I stroke some of her loose hair behind her ear.

Is this what I would be like in years to come, if Knox and I continue kissing in the shadows. Even if we continue after he leaves...which isn't the plan right now but I know me, I know that I am falling harder than I planned to with this arrangement of ours. I'm falling in love with him.

That saying goodbye to what we have will be more difficult now than I had led myself to believe.

I don't think I could spend the best years of my life hiding in the shadows, I was already too much in the darkness compared to my brothers, compared to my parents.

I don't want to settle, not like I was preparing to do with George. Turn a blind eye to arrogant behaviour because it meant I wouldn't be alone. I don't want to settle with Knox, I want to build a life with him, to kiss on the dance floor with everybody looking, not in the dark shadows of my front room. "Josie?" Auntie Alora's hand strokes my shoulder forcing me to be back in the moment with her, taking me out of my own thoughts.

"Auntie Alora, if you care for Ezra and he cares for you, nothing should stop you from pursuing that. Just don't do it in the shadows, do it in the open. He's waited for you for this long, I think he will move at a pace that you are comfortable with. But just don't keep him locked away, don't deny him the affection he deserves."

I can see her thinking on my words, a gentle nod and a sweet smile erupting on her lips.novelbin

"Since when did you learn to be so wise?" Her hand reaches up to cup the side of my face affectionately.

I lean into her hand giving a soft smile, I don't think it was about me being wise, I think her experience resonates with me to the point I am now realising I want to be with Knox. But not just as a sex toy...I want to be with him full heartedly, out in the open, I want to share my life with him.