Chapter 20: GAME OVER — TRY AGAIN?

Up to the very last moment, he’d continued to cope and deny. Not as a troll, but as a victim. Up til the end, he’d tried to set himself up with hope, or maybe it had been cowardice.

And then, when he’d been forced to confront reality, he’d been angry. Incredibly, insanely, unreasonably angry. And as the result of that anger, he had taken a stone out of his Inventory and let it fly.

It had hit one of the monsters, and then—

*SQUELCH*

Diegi wasn’t great at throwing things, and didn't have an exceptional aim. But the stone he’d thrown had been able to score a glancing blow on one of the tutorial monsters’ claws. Even with a Strength statistic as low as his, and without using a Skill to boot, the result had been extraordinary; with a flash of bright white light, a cracking noise as well as a thick squelch had resounded through the battlefield as one of the beasts’ claws was blown right off. Just one claw, on one hand… Okay, maybe the result wasn’t all that extraordinary, but still— Diegi was shocked that he had done any damage at all. He clearly remembers seeing the severed appendage separate from the monsters’ putrid palm, black ooze splattering into the air.

What he doesn’t remember clearly, however, is what happened next.

Goo flew into the air as far as his eyes could see, which hadn’t been very far in the darkness. Tiny bits of monster flesh all floated around, blocking out Diegi’s already poor night-time vision, and all the monsters had groaned in unison, making a deafening noise. It had been terrifying. And once the bits of monster flesh and goo had all come from who knows where and blocked his vision, he’d felt that first pinch of pain. The unique sensation of claws raking into his flesh.

The last thing he’d been able to see clearly was the appearance of a screen. A taunting little blue screen, focusing his consciousness one last time before it— and he— was forcefully ripped apart.

[ Toughness Level Increased! ]

As if. As if he could ever be called tough. He was nothing more than a weakling and a coward, at the end of the day.

And then… he doesn’t know what came next. Just that there was pain, then more pain, then pain on top of that, and on and on and on———

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#

“YEEEEEOOOWWCHH!!!”

Diegi wakes up in a familiar blue void, sitting on a familiar white plastic chair. It’s the place where he spoke with Automoderator for the first time. And the second time. Now, with a shout that sounds suspiciously similar to a certain cartoon character, he’s arrived for the third time.

Speaking of time, Diegi doesn’t waste any. Immediately, as soon as he regains consciousness, he falls out of the chair— out of the chair?— and keels over, emptying his stomach of its few contents. Even after he’s sure he doesn’t have anything left to throw up, he continues to retch, dry heaving and spitting up little more than bile.

“Ugh… ugh ugh ugh…”

He launches into another coughing fit. Thankfully, he manages to avoid collapsing in his own vomit, but the rounds of coughs racking his body force him to lie down with his nose facing the puddle of upchuck. The disgusting smell is torture for his senses, but compared to what he’d just been through? Maybe it’s actually paradise.

“That hurt… Hurt worse than Mama’s damned slipper… Shit, I didn’t know anything could hurt that bad!”

Diegi’s no stranger to pain (yes he is). He’s survived countless battles (getting whooped by his mother) and has undergone years of self-defense training to prepare him for the dangers of the streets (buying pepper spray). But of all the grueling experiences he’s endured, death by tutorial monster has to take the cake. By this point, he’s something of an expert on that specific method of losing life— the beasts’ve killed him twice.

> Listen to me, categorizing deaths like they’re a new genre of music or video game. Imagine walking down the street, discussing my favorite type of death with a friend. ‘Man, I just tried burning alive. So not fire, and I’m not a liar. Dunno why it’s such a hot trend right now.’ ‘Yeah, but how about death by lightning? Let me tell you, it was electrifying!’ Ah, that’s so fucked up, damn it, why am I even thinking of something so depraved?

It’s absurd. Unthinkable. What’s wrong with him, to be thinking this way? But somehow, someway, something about the sheer deviance of his wayward thoughts calms Diegi’s hacking fit, and his body starts to relax.

“Ah… I’m not dead.”

Once again, once again, he’s done it again. He’d died, but he hadn’t died. Though was there any real difference between death and death if both prevented him from progressing in life? Still, even if he’d died instead of died, even if he’d managed to surpass death and end up back here, a small respite before he’d have to face death once more.

> Man, what a tongue-twister. I never want to say the word death ever again.

Diegi organizes his thoughts, thinking silently to himself, and eventually comes across an important point.

“That’s it, I guess. I’m stuck. This is my life now.”

Even if he tries, he can’t imagine winning. Not against that tutorial monster horde. Respawning in the Starters’ Hut and having to travel to Paxdom? With tens of thousands of gooey apelike beasts chasing him, always knowing how to find him even when he’s nowhere near? And trapped in a giant blue barrier bubble to boot, so it’s not like he could simply run away and deny his fate. No, this is it for him. Revival, death, revival, death, never making it past the tutorial, never being able to be erased.

An infinite cycle of revival. But actually…

“Wait. Am I… am I even going to be revived?”

Diegi abruptly sits up. He hasn’t gotten over his pathetic display, not in the slightest, but a brief spike of curiosity provides his weary mind some miniscule motivation to move. He stands up, wipes his snot on his dirty borrowed clothes, and looks around. Other than the plastic chair and the puddle of vomit, there’s nothing. More importantly, he can’t feel anything either. Even here, in its domain.

“And if I was able to get out of the chair, doesn’t that mean that…?”

Diegi stops looking around and focuses his vision straight upwards.

“Where’s Automod?”

The only response to his question is a thick silence.

“Automod? Where are you!? We need to talk!!”

There’s no echo. As soon as he speaks, it’s like his words dissolve instead of filling the space. It makes sense, since the void seems to be an infinite space.

“Talk to ME! To, ME! Automod, stop fooling around and get down here!! Do you know what you’ve put ME through? I—”

Raising both of his hands, Diegi launches an angry tirade against the empty space, pouring the contents of his heart into the void for minutes on end. All the while, nobody and nothing responds. After a while, even the stubborn Diegi has to call it quits.

“Ha ha… will I even be revived, then? Is this my new home? My new… forever?”

It’s truly unprecedented. He can’t understand what’s happening to him. Even the pseudo-deity that overlooked the world was absent. It’s as if fate has truly abandoned him. Like he’s being laughed at, like he’s being ridiculed. He would proudly award this game-world the title of worst world to spawn into. Which isn’t too impressive, considering he’s only lived in two. But still.

“Man, I wanna go home.”

Too much. Too, too much. This whole experience has just been too much for him. Wiping his tears and balling up his fists, Diegi pounds the featureless floor (which doesn’t make a sound) and screams:

“Automod, where are you? I WANT TO GO HOME!!!”

It’s the same plea he’s made several times before. And it’s not like he was joking those times either— he’d sincerely wanted to go home with all his heart. But still, this time, the words have a different ring to them. They’re devoid of color. They’re more… final.

For a moment, nothing happens. What did he expect? Automod isn’t present, who knows what’s going on with the damned AI overlord. Of course, nothing would happen if a mere peasant called out to an empty throne.

But then.

But then, but then, but then— Diegi abruptly starts to lean forwards over the floor. Slowly, but unavoidably. He feels so tired. He doesn’t know why. Leaning forwards, falling forwards, until his forehead lightly taps the surface of the nearby white chair—

And he falls asleep, just like that. A deep, deep sleep in which he could forever stay blissfully unaware, if he so chooses.

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##

The first thing Diegi notices are the smells. The scents of stale potato chips, of discarded dirty sweatshirts, of AXE body spray, of a spare container holding old motor oil, of energy drinks left open…

The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.

> Hold on. Could it be?

“Oh? Oh, yeah! I’m back, eh? I’m back!”

When Diegi opens his eyes, he can see himself sitting at his old desk, hands propped on his dinky old keyboard, his computer monitor showing the familiar loading screen for MYTH Infinite Fantasy. He can even spot Neck, his favorite stuffed giraffe, sitting on the smooth wood of the desk, looking up at him. He doesn’t even have to look around to make sure— it’s his room! And to sweeten the deal, his head feels remarkably clear. He wouldn’t say he’s doing A-okay, but compared to the snivelling and vomiting mess he’d been just a few moments ago, it’s a great improvement.

“Ah… was I just dreaming? Was all of that, that whole world… it was, wasn’ it? Just a dream, ain’t it? Wahoo!!”

Never has Diegi been so glad to have a nightmare before. He’d been challenged, and for a brief moment he’d felt that his entire way of thinking was going to be torn apart. It had been a scary sensation— as if Diegi’s mental fortress was a mere house of cards, ready to topple at the slightest gust of wind… but, looking back, of course it had to be a dream.

People can’t just be summoned into video games. That’s a tired old trope best left behind in dusty old fiction. And, thinking even further back, he remembers his highschool Physics professor telling the students that the idea of parallel universes is shaky at best. He never thought he’d see the day, but for once, Diegi is thoroughly grateful that he’d paid attention to a discussion in class.

> Ah, I’m safe. No one’s gonna come and swoop me up and carry me away again… unless the Americans find the oil in my room, I guess. Why do I even have oil in my room? Hardly anyone uses gas cars anymore. Did Mama put that there? Ah, whatever.

With the knowledge that he’s safe and sound in his house, Diegi gives a huge sigh of relief, and attempts to crack his knuckles.

“Alright! So, what was I doing again? Finishing my homework for tomorrow, right?”

Diegi briefly pauses before catching himself with a chuckle.

“Ooh… that sounded dangerously close to taking responsibility. Wouldn’t be a proper Martinez if I did that, now isn’t that right? Hmm… Oh, that’s it, I was going to play some MYTH first! Yeah, I love me a good MMORPG before bed.”

Feeling like he can relax for the first time since… well, since a long long time, that’s for sure… Diegi moves the fingers of his left hand over to the mouse so he can be ready to start playing once MYTH finishes loading.

Or at least, he tries to.

“What the hell? Why can’t I move?”

Try as he might, straining and straining, Diegi can’t get his fingers to budge. Now that he looks at the bedroom scene more closely, he notices that it’s a lot more odd than he’d noticed on first pass. His head is resting on the bottom of the monitor screen, facing downwards. The loading screen for MYTH, normally a bright blue, was instead a pallid green. Stranger still, everything that isn’t the computer screen is cast in monochrome, shades of black or white or gray. And the strangest of all…

“Wait a second. If I’m here, and I’m me… then why can I see my whole body down there!?”

It’s true. Diegi isn’t inside his own skin— instead, he’s floating above himself in the air, looking down. He, floating in the air, doesn’t even have a body as far as he can tell. If he described his own current existence, he’d liken it to being a floating head, but in reality he isn’t even that. He’s just… there, able to see and speak but seemingly do nothing else.

“Is this what they call an out-of-body experience? Damn, maybe I’m a psychic medium or something. I should set up a shop. Maybe buy a crystal ball or two? Soulz4hire, cheap consultations with the floating undead!”

The joke rings hollow even against his own ears. Or… spectral ears? Ghost ears? Whatever. Sighing, Diegi decides he might as well float around and see if he could somehow merge back into his own body— only to meet a strange resistance. He can’t move. He can’t even turn his ‘head’ from side to side. It seems like all he gets to see is this one scene from this one specific perspective, of his dimly lit room.

“Restricted camera, huh? The hell is this, a knockoff horror game? Next thing you know, I’ll be fuckin’ jumpscared by a—”

“AH, SHIT!!”

A loud robotic voice speaks out of nowhere, scaring the everloving cojones off of Diegi. Though, as a floating specter-thingy, it’s not like he has any ‘crystal balls’ to lose in the first place… in a manner of speaking.

Anyways. The abrupt appearance of the unknown voice is surprising enough that Diegi would shoot up and start running in circles, if only he had a body to run with. He certainly hadn’t expected that interruption, but surely it would be the only surprise coming up, right?

Then the screen behind his head— his body’s head— turns on. No, that’s the wrong phrase, it was already on. But the strangely green loading screen signifies that it’s finished, and prepares to launch the game. As soon as the START button appears, it immediately is pressed, and the proper MYTH app begins to run.

“Hey, what’s going on here? Who’s clicking start? I sure as hell ain't.”

Seemingly without any input, MYTH Infinite Fantasy begins to run. Instead of giving him the standard boot-up options, however (such as changing his account, seeing if friends were online, changing audio settings, etc), the game skips straight to the tutorial. There’s a brief buffer as all the Starters’ Hut’s polygons load, and then Diegi sees an in-game avatar. A MYTH player-created character… though this specific avatar has strikingly similar features to himself.

“Huh? Hey, this is my PC, but that’s not my character! Mine looks way cooler, it has the sickest pair of blue swim trunks on! Did someone delete my account or something!?”

Diegi’s current MYTH account is far and away his most prized possession. He wouldn’t trade it for the world, he would cherish it forever. Before he made this account, his most prized possession was his old account— but then it got banned for exploiting. Before that one was the account before that, before it got banned for rude language. And the one before that, and before that. Listen, his accounts don’t tend to have a long shelf life, alright? Such is the life of a troll.

“Huh? What’s it doing?”

The character onscreen starts to walk around the Starters’ Hut in wonder, despite Diegi’s slumped body making no moves to tap the keyboard. No, even disregarding that— the movements of the little digital avatar are too refined, too organic. Not like a video game avatar at all. To further add to the confusion— the avatar is looking interestedly at the character creation screens that pop up, as if seeing something mystical and rare instead of a regular old video game prompt.

“Whoever’s playing must be new. Actually, yeah— who the hell is playing this? A ghost!? Holy shit, maybe I am a psychic… has Casper been hanging out in my room all this time?”

But no, that’s impossible. Not only is Diegi’s body not moving, the keys on the keyboard aren’t being pressed either. Diegi’s nowhere near an expert on the undead, but he initially presumes that they’d at least have to hit the keys to play the game

> Y’know, because of course ghosts would follow human logic and customs. I’m sure they work 9 to 5 and drink coffee too. Damn it! I’ve gotta be stupid or something, applying common sense to uncommon situations is part of what got me killed the first time. Do I ever learn…?

Regardless of the possibility or impossibility of a ghost piloting the game, the scenario on the monitor screen continues to play out before Diegi’s spectral eyes.

The little avatar gets through a little bit of the character creation, even switching his in-game species from human to troll at some point before quickly switching back. It then seems to get bored, sighing and tapping its toes, before suddenly jumping into the air as if surprised. After a few seconds of running in circles, the avatar dashes out the old rotting door and into the Paxdom Fields.

“Hrm. What’s the point of me seeing this? Can I… turn it off?”

Diegi starts to feel somewhat uncomfortable, unable to do anything but float and watch the screen. He can’t place why, but something about the gameplay just seems— off. It’s like when a child watches their favorite TV series, knowing that nothing bad will actually happen to the heroes but still fearing for their safety when the plotline twists and turns.

> Not that I was scared of baby shows as a kid. Definitely not of Cocomelon in particular. Ahem, hmm hmm.

The game being portrayed through the screen continues to progress. The little avatar on screen walks for a while, completing a few tutorial prompts as they arrive, in the Paxdom Fields’ tutorial path, until it sees a fruit tree. Then, for some odd reason, it leaves the path and smacks right into the tree, sliding off with a dazed expression.

“Ha ha ha! What, is the player stupid or something?”

Diegi can hardly believe his eyes at the totally unoptimal and frankly unfun gameplay. Why wasn’t the player just sprinting towards Paxdom as fast as possible? That’s what any normal person would do, at least until their Stamina ran out. But either way, walking at the slowest speed the game allows was definitely the least efficient plan of action to take. Plus— running into a tree and taking damage from it? Was that even possible?

Still, even on top of that, something about this gameplay feels odd to Diegi, very odd. The actions that whoever’s controlling the avatar is taking— they’re all ridiculously unnexpected. They’re taking the tutorial slow, absorbing the sights and looking around them with wonder from time to time. But they’re rushing through the actual game prompts, as if they don’t care about learning to play at all. It’s as if the person in control is treating MYTH like a life simulator instead of a video game.

> So weird… so boring… if this was a gameplay video posted to the internet, I bet it’d get disliked to hell and back…

Just as Diegi thinks all this, absentmindedly continuing to peer at the screen, she shows up. And Diegi finally starts to understand what’s going on.

“Wait a second. Wait a damn second.”

It’s Gloria— not the ‘real’ one, the digital Gloria— made of digital polygons and rigged up 3d models. But Gloria nonetheless. She’s leading her grain cart, and right behind her is… the tutorial monster.

“Oh, no no no. Are you kidding me? Why am I seeing this? It’s a dream, it’s a game, it isn’t real!”

The Diegi-avatar doesn’t seem concerned by the sudden development at all. After some brief discussion, he steps forward and cracks his knuckles.

“Please. Please please please, I don’t wanna see it, I DON’T WANNA SEE IT!”

And yet, he continues to watch.

A battle ensues. The Diegi-avatar does pathetically, spending most of the fighting running and dodging until the nearby fruit tree falls on top of the tutorial monster. This victory is short-lived, however— after eating lunch with Gloria, he proceeds to return to the fallen fruit tree and is gruesomely beheaded by the tutorial monster once he gets too close.

“Ah, please, I don’t wanna— I won’t, you can’t make me! I’ll— close my eyes, yeah!”

Diegi— the real, spectral Diegi; the one floating in the air— tries his best to squeeze his eyes shut. But he can’t. No matter how hard he tries, the eyelids just won’t press together. In fact, he can’t even feel his eyelids. He then tries to hold his breath, hold his breath long enough that he’ll pass out and be spared from watching the game progress. But he can’t. In fact, he isn’t breathing in the first place.

> Without a body… am I being forced to sit here and watch this? To watch it all!?

And as it turns out, he is. Unable to blink, to divert his attention in any way, he continues to watch.

As the character onscreen fights the terrifying Man-Eater Banana, that hadn’t seemed so terrifying when he’d had his full confidence.

“I already know.”

As the player activates the Skip-Warp, despite knowing the system risks, and crashes into Gloria.

As the player-avatar makes a fool of himself, relying on the goodness of a poor polite farmer’s heart to achieve his goals.

“I already know about all of this!”

As the Diegi-avatar illegally slips into Paxdom with a care in the world, trying to convince himself that he can’t possibly have anything to do with the incoming monster attack.

As the Diegi in the game visits the Marketplace Square, selfishly plotting to save himself and failing to notice the swindler right before his eyes.

“Why are you showing me things I already know? Who’s behind this!? Automod! AUTOMOD!!”

As Diegi heads to the Adventurer’s Guild and is drafted by Vivian and Equo to combat the invasion, then fails to escape and save himself.

As he flounders around the monster invasion battlefield outside Paxdom’s northern gate near Linderton and Michael, acting without regard for his allies and burying himself deeper into his own delusions, until—

“NOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

The screen goes dark. To be more specific, it turns a deep green, overlaying the rather unpleasant depiction of Diegi’s mangled body with a dark tint. Either way, the message is clear: it’s over.

> Ahh. Ahh ahh ahh… why why why why why why why why why why why?

Horrific. As if once wasn’t enough. Why should he be forced to live out the events of the dream once again? Dreams are supposed to disappear once you wake up, the details fluttering away like leaves in the wind, never to bother you again—

> No. I said I wouldn’t do that anymore… Right now, I’m a floating ghost with no balls— I mean, no body. I’m watching myself sleep in front of a screen showing myself playing MYTH Infinite Fantasy from inside the damn game! Now isn’t the time to rely too heavily on real-world sense. I have to accept it… whatever it was, that whole alternate world thing definitely wasn't just a dream.

And just as Diegi mentions… no, he doesn’t even do that. He doesn’t speak his decision aloud, almost as if he’s afraid to. But just as Diegi thinks about taking a life lesson he’s learned from the game-world to heart, even a lesson as mundane as that, it appears on the darkened monitor.

A prompt screen. The blue, flat, digitized, rectangular kind sent by the game system itself. Though… this one isn’t blue. It’s a strange shade of bright green, once again. Just like the screens he’d dealt with during character creation, this prompt appears to display certain aspects of Diegi’s avatar. Its “status”, as MYTH calls it. But for some reason, instead of displaying helpful Stat and Attribute levels, giving out Overview information like Class and Job, or at the very least letting Diegi know what Skills, Spells, and Perks he has, the new menu is giving out some truly abnormal information. Information that, as far as he can remember, Diegi’s never seen before in his life.

[

Diegi Trolegi

GAME OVER

-Progress Made-

QUESTS 0

ESSENCE 0

-Soul Status-

PRIDE 100

GREED 100

LUST 100

ENVY 100

GLUTTONY 100

WRATH 100

SLOTH 100

]

Needless to be said… this is NOT what the game would normally display upon a player’s in-game death. It isn’t the character creation screen, either.

Normally, upon death, a pop up showing a respawn timer as well as a variety of option buttons would appear. So it’s safe to say that this new screen’s sudden appearance is already shocking to Diegi.

> Hey, no way. Where’s the death chat, where’s the countdown, where’s the instant replay, where’s the— what the hell is that!?

In the end, however, what draws Diegi’s attention the most isn’t the strange status screen. Instead, it’s what pops up directly below it. Namely, a button. An old-fashioned, bright green, pixelated button that contrasts with MYTH Infinite Fantasy’s modern sleek menu design.

It reads:

[ TRY AGAIN? ]