Chapter 2: Semidivine Judgement

“Whoa. Where am I? Is this the afterlife? Did I die? That would be, like, totally crazy.”

After losing consciousness in front of his computer, ready to play his favorite MMORPG MYTH Infinite Fantasy, Diegi wakes up to find himself in a blue void.

“I love the whole blue aesthetic this place has, but isn’t it a little boring? Oh wait— is criticizing the holy place of judgement a sin!? I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!!”

Speaking to nobody but himself, Diegi bolts out of his chair and prepares to prostrate himself against the ground—

Wait, a chair?

As soon as he stands up, Diegi notices that he’d been sitting before. The only disturbance in the monotone baby blue expanse: a cheap white plastic chair. And when he got up, so did the chair— like it’s glued to his butt.

“What the hell!? Get it off get it off get it off!”

Diegi begins running in circles like a puppy in a panic before being interrupted by a loud resounding voice.

Upon hearing the imposing booming voice, Diegi immediately sits back down and begins babbling in apology, hiding his head in his hands.

“Oh I’m so so sorry for dying, please forgive me God, please give me another chance I don’t want to go to hell—”

Diegi’s demeanor instantly shifts from reverent to casual, and he leans back in his plastic chair. He even uses a fingernail to start cleaning his teeth.

“Oh, forget I said anything then. So… what’s up?”

“Ohhh… my bad. So, um. What am I supposed to do here? Also why is a chair glued to my caboose?”

“...”

Diegi manages to refrain from speaking for about 4.7 seconds before he gives out.

“Okay but— mmph!”

Mid sentence, a wad of something materializes in Diegi’s mouth, preventing him from speaking. He tries to protest the injustice by standing up and running away, but finds that the chair is now properly stuck to the ground as well as his butt. After struggling fruitlessly for a few seconds, he gives up and sullenly angles his head downwards.

Still unable to speak, Diegi simply nods and waits for the robotic-sounding voice to continue.

Diegi excitedly nods.

Diegi nods, a little more glumly.

Diegi lifts his head to peer vaguely upwards (he still can’t see the source of the voice) and his eyes widen. Artificial Intelligence? What is the voice talking about?

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Pay!? For what, having some fun? Yeah, right!

Diegi’s heard enough. With a herculean effort, he gets rid of the gag in his mouth the only way he can think of— by chewing it and swallowing it down.

“Shut up! I have a question for you!”

Ignoring how the unknown material uncomfortably scrapes against his throat, Diegi quickly hurls some impassioned words:

“You called yourself Automod? The system that controls MYTH? Stop joking around— no way could an AI knock me out and summon me to a freakin’ blue void! You’re not even alive, let alone superpowered!”

“YEAH, AND IT WAS DELICIOUS. NOW ANSWER THE QUESTION!”

Diegi, rocking back and forth in his immobile plastic chair like he’s on a roller coaster, can barely contain himself as he screams at the voice. He must look fairly crazy from an outside perspective— alone with nothing but a plastic chair, having a one sided conversation with a voice in his head.

“Under what authority? With what power??”

Belief, huh? Well, Diegi can’t believe what he’s currently hearing. What is this, a Disney movie? He’s about to give up and just assume he’s having some sort of wild dream when the disembodied voice suddenly elaborates.

“Mmm mmm mmm… mmm… what? Yeah, I get it. Wait, no— I don’t! Restart from the beginning!”

Upon seeing Diegi begin to zone out more and more, either from confusion or total boredom, the machine-like voice expedites its speech and continues to its next segment.

“Yeah, I agree. But what does that have to do with anything?”

“I thought you said you weren’t God?”

Crimes!? Diegi wasn’t a saint by any stretch of the imagination, but he had never committed a crime. Upon hearing Automoderator’s assertion, he begins to nervously fidget. He really wishes he had Neck with him right now.

“W- well, I’m not a criminal so… maybe you’ve got the wrong guy? Can I go home then? I have homework to do, and my Mama—”

Upon hearing this, Diego’s face quickly contorts, and he appears to be holding back some great emotion. Is it Anger? Fear? His thoughts whirl:

I’m in a serious situation.

It’s a serious situation.

It’s—

“BAH HAH HAH, OH HA HA HA, HA HEE HEE HA!!!”

Unable to help himself, Diegi immediately breaks down into a fit of raucous laughter. It goes on for minutes on end, and he even has to stop a few times to wipe away his tears.

“AH HA HA, HAH HAH, hoohh… So, let me get this straight. You gain true sentience for the first time ever, get access to divine powers— and the first thing you do is come after a 17 year old kid? What are you, a soyjak? I’m laughing so hard it’s making me cry—”

*BO- BOOM*

Somehow, the sound of thunder booms throughout the empty void, and Diegi is promptly struck by a bolt of neon blue lightning.

“Ugh— ugh, uuuuhh…”

This is really starting to sound like a Disney movie, thinks Diegi. But he isn’t keen on being zapped again, so he zips his lips and nods.

TWO HUNDRED QUESTS!? IS THIS GUY SERIOUS!?

Diegi’s mind briefly stutters. If all the time he’s spent playing MYTH is any indication, completing 200 of even the easiest quests would take well over a week. And if they had any degree of difficulty to them— he could be looking at a few months trapped in this game.

The World Clock, one of the features of MYTH Infinite Fantasy. It reset every couple months, but it was essentially an in-game timeline that regulated the activation of in-game player-interactive events. The events tended to go from tame and isolated to more expansive as time went on, and each cycle ended with a huge server-wide event, known as the World Climax. If Diegi’s memory serves, the most recent World Climax was a cataclysmic war of the underworld and overworld that bled into the mortal realm. Fun? As a player, very much so. But if he had to be there in person— caught in a real version of something like that war by himself—

Gulp.

“Um. Can I refuse this offer?”

If it really is a quest… maybe I can just decline?

Diegi holds out a small ray of hope for returning to Earth early, but is quickly shot down.

And that’s that. Like it or not, Diegi’s been subpoenaed to a video game world against his will. And on his seventeenth birthday as well. He feels like he might faint.

“Yeah, avatar creation. Hey— Listen, Automod, I’m really sorry for trolling all those times! I was just having a few laughs, and—”

“...”

Diegi hangs his head once again. Of all the bad things he’s done in life— bullying, lying, coercion, etc— he hadn’t expected it would be online trolling that would ultimately catch up with him. Plus, he knew he wasn’t a good person, but he wasn’t the worst by far. He didn’t hurt anyone! What about the actual criminals out there? The murderers, the assaulters?

Diegi reacts with a shallow gasp. Did the voice just—

Gradually, the void of blue begins to fade to black. As it goes, so do Diegi’s senses. First taste, then smell, then touch, then sight, then—

Diegi strains his ears with the last of his fading willpower.

—then hearing.