Chapter 14: Fate Escape

Diegi waits until he can see residential buildings lining the side of the alley he’s being carried through. In the state of panic that had overtaken the city when the second bell rang, some of the entryways had been left unlocked. Perfect. Then, he puts his plan in motion.

> First things first. If I’m gonna escape this upcoming battle, then I need these adventurers to stop running towards the northern gate. And if there’s one thing that adventurers would stop for before a fight…

“Hey, Vivian, we’re getting pretty close to the gate, eh? But, do you really feel ready to fight a whole invasion of monsters?”

Vivian, red hair swaying as she tilts her head to look at the boy she’s currently manhandling, makes an ambiguous grunt in response:

“Hmm?”

As Paxdom’s huge northern gate looms overhead, visible even from within the alley, Diegi swallows with his dry throat and continues.

“I was thinking, why don’t we stop for a little pre-fight rest? Since this city-wide call was kind of sudden, I bet a lot of the adventurers haven’t been able to properly eat or anything before heading to the Guild Hall. You see this huge-ass bag in my hand? It’s full of food— all fresh and super nourishing! Can’t you smell them already? Oh, and Strength-Up potions! So many potions!"

It’s true that the bag is indeed large— far wider than Diegi’s own rather thin torso. And it’s also true that the telltale smell of cooked food is coming from the bag. However, the claim that it holds potions is nothing more than an empty lie. With bated breath, Diegi hopes that the undoubtable veracity of the first two statements will be able to carry the more-dubious third.

Vivian takes a long look down at Diegi’s face, scrutinizing it. A moment passes… and then she smiles.

“Ah, so you can do something useful now and again. Alright guys, we’re taking a quick break! Potions for everyone!”

And just like that, the entire moving company of adventurers quits their parkour-like acrobatics and screeches to a halt right there in the streets.

> …if there’s one thing that adventurers would stop for before a fight, it’s to boost their fuckin’ stats. Hey hey, there’s another win for useless gamer knowledge!

Now that they’ve stopped moving and jostling him around, Diegi can see Paxdom’s giant gates even more clearly. In only a few hundred meters, they’ll be outside the city’s walls and in the thick of the battle. Diegi can even hear some faint fighting sounds already, though only some particularly loud explosion-like noises. In other words, this is the last chance he’ll have to slip away before he’s thrust into a fight in which he has no business participating.

> Okay, I’ve got to play this perfectly. Next up…

“I’ll hand you the bag, so please can you let me go?”

Vivian sighs and shoots the swordsman holding Diegi’s lower body a sharp look. Together, they slowly let Diegi down onto the ground— or at least, the swordsman does. Vivian lets go of Diegi all at once, causing his head to smack onto the rough brick floor.

“What the— owwwww!! The hell was that for!?”

Vivian laughs deep in her throat, flashing Diegi a smile.

“You said to let you go, not put you down gently. Gotta watch your words, kid!”

> Holy semantics! Well, let’s see if you’re still laughing when I make my brilliant escape.

Diegi, from his fallen position, hands Vivian the bag of food as the other adventurers make their way into the alley behind her. Curiously, they all get ready to peer inside. Diegi only needs their attention to be held for a moment before he can dash into one of the alleyway houses through the back door and hide.

The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

There’s no doubt that the adventurers (or Vivian at least) would chase him, but most had some sort of protective gear on and some were carrying bulky equipment. Deigi, thin and unencumbered as he is, would probably be able to stay out of their reach in an enclosed space like one of Paxdom’s buildings.

“The biggest bag is the one that’s full of around 50 loaves of bread. Take some out so you can see for yourself— then I’ll show you all the potions.”

A bead of sweat trickles down Diegi’s face as he slowly gets to his feet, speaks to the crowd of adventurers, and gestures towards the bag with a flourish. There’s a brief tension as the adventurers root through the food bag that’s itself full of smaller unmarked bags. Finally, the muscular swordsman who had previously been carrying Diegi lets out a hoot and brings out the largest sack of bread that Diegi had gotten from The Free’s Depository.

> Okay, their attention’s all on that bag. It really is full of an unreasonable amount of bread, so their verification’ll buy me some time… now to quietly slip through a back door…

Like a mischievous cartoon character, Diegi adopts the universal ‘I’m sneaking’ pose and begins tiptoeing away from the distracted adventurers. The fourth Stooge— or rather, Diegi, is only a few feet away from an open entryway when the sense of deja vu he’s been feeling about that bag greatly intensifies.

> Where did I buy the bread from again? ‘The Free’s Depository’… yeah, I’ve definitely heard that name before. Before I was even spawned into this game-world. The Free’s… The Free’s… oh, shit.

In the very next moment, the swordsman lets out a grunt and drops the sack of bread to the ground. It makes a hard *clunk* sound, one of stone hitting stone, as it impacts the ground.

Wait, stone hitting stone? Not… bread hitting stone? Yes, that’s correct. Because out of that fallen bag—

*clunk*

Even as Diegi watches, Vivian’s expression shifts from mildly surprised to downright murderous.

*clunk* *clunk*

“Ooh, nice try. I didn’t think you’d have the guts to try something like that. But hey… what does this mean? Trying to slow us down with such a stupid trick… are you some kind of enemy to Paxdom?”

*clunk* *clunk* *clunk*

—out of that bag comes rock after rock, tumbling onto the ground like a miniature landslide.

And Diegi realizes his fatal mistake.

> The Free’s Depository. Thievery’s Depository. What the hell, that old dude wasn’t even trying to hide it— wait, is that why the area around his stall was empty!? Damn it, that was so obvious!

Memories of playing MYTH come flooding back, as if unlocked, and Diegi can’t help but chuckle as he remembers. Or, tries to chuckle… for some reason, he can’t quite get the sounds out.

> Automod even built this game-world with stupid in-game references like that, huh? Haven’t fallen for one since the very first time I played the game…

_

In the original MYTH Infinite Fantasy MMORPG, some cities had what the playerbase called ‘dud vendors’ in their respective marketplaces. These stores, which seemed perfectly functional (if a little shady) on the surface, were really nothing more than the video game equivalent of a scam. If a player made a purchase at these stores, they’d lose the specified amount of gold or platinum pieces. But instead of receiving the products they’d paid for, they’d sinetad be given trash items— things like sticks, rocks, or Diegi’s personal favorite— “manure.” Yes, that’s a real item from the original game. And watching other players fall for— or even enticing new players to fall for— these kind of bogus transactions made him laugh every single time.

Well, except for this time.

_

> There’s no way I got swindled by a stupid old guy with a gray beard and a suspicious laugh. That’s like… the definitive cliché of a damn swindler! I mean, giving me stones instead of bread? Seriously?? It’s so stupid that the thought never even crossed my mind! Agh… how many times have I watched those movies with a naive cast and thought that I wouldn’t be a dumbass like the main characters? Now look who’s talking!

He has to do something before everyone else gets over their initial reactions. So he goes to his default self-defense scheme: opening his big mouth.

“Guys, I can explai— agh!”

Diegi, rueing his horrible luck, steps away from the doorway he’d been trying to sneak away through and attempts to start explaining himself. As soon as he does, however, he finds himself shoved against the wall and the staff of Vivian’s battleaxe pressed against his throat.

“I know I said I wouldn’t hit you… but this seriously isn’t a good look. You’re traitor to the city, then? Showing up out of nowhere and trying to interfere with our defenses, then tiptoeing away…? Is the rest of the food poisoned? Maybe you’re an assassin, or a spy? Well, which is it?”

> How am I supposed to tell you if you hold a weapon to my throat!? Ugh, I only needed a few more seconds and I would have been free from this psycho! Of all the stalls, how did I manage to choose the one trap??

While Vivian continues to hold him in place with the long handle of her axe, Diegi looks around panickedly at the other adventurers in the alley. Most of them seem like they’re somewhat wary of him being a spy or traitor, but judging from their expressions they don’t agree with Vivian’s harsh treatment either. When Diegi makes eye contact, however, they guiltily look away, not willing to challenge the imposing woman’s actions.

Vivian isn’t pressing hard enough to strangle or even silence a regular person— but unbeknownst to her, Diegi is anything but. The consequences of having his Toughness attribute stuck at level zero set in, and the lack of oxygen makes him start to feel lightheaded. A few more seconds of this and he might actually die.

Desperately, he opens his mouth and attempts to force out a plea for mercy, but the words stick in his constricted throat. And even if he could have spoken, what would he say? While Diegi isn’t a spy or an assassin or anything like that, he definitely isn’t an ally of Paxdom’s either, and he was just caught in the act of abandoning ship. Though, it is a ship he never signed up to voyage on for the first place— Nevermind, these analogies are getting far too complex. Back to Diegi’s thoughts:

> Even when someone’s just trying to hold me captive, I end up on the verge of death. All this because I fell for some nursery-rhyme level wordplay. Like, seriously… Maybe I should have paid more attention to ‘Who Took the Cookie from the Cookie Jar’ as a kid. Ha… ha… Please, someone, anyone, help…

Finally, he gets around to making eye contact with the last adventurer in the crowd. It’s the muscular swordsman who had helped Vivian carry him earlier. Looking at him pleadingly, Diegi tries to signal his innocence with his eyes.

The swordsman sees Diegi’s nonverbal plea and nods curtly.

> Finally, someone’s gonna help me!

Diegi waits in anticipation for his saviour to act. And after a moment, the swordsman does indeed act— but not in the way that Diegi anticipated.

*shhiiiing*

Slowly, ever so slowly, the swordsman draws one of the many shortswords that hang from the lower half of his body like ornaments. He weighs it carefully in his hand, then takes a single step forwards.