Chapter 15: Weight of Poor Expectations

> Oh no, no, no. Is this sword-obsessed dude gonna kill me, just like that, after I ask for help!? But he put me down so nicely earlier, I figured he was a reasonable guy!

Diegi’s thoughts race as he considers his apparent miscalculation. Though, Vivian’s egregious demonstration of friendly fire makes it hard to think straight, as she continues to choke Diegi against the alley wall with the handle of her axe.

Peering behind Vivian’s back, Diegi can only watch the swordsman get closer and closer while loosely holding his weapon’s hilt. He seems so relaxed, it’s hard to imagine that he’s probably going to gut Diegi like a fish in only a few moments. And even if he didn’t, Vivian would probably be happy to. What can Diegi do? It’s a double-team of doom. Like if John Cena and the Rock worked together, or Lex Luthor and the Joker, or pineapples and pizza— damn it, Diegi’s hunger still affects his thoughts even at a time like this. Ehem… you get the idea.

Not wanting to see the end, Diegi averts his gaze and looks up to where he imagines Automod is hiding in the sky. If only he could punch that smug bot in its nonexistent face before he dies.

After what feels like an eternity but was probably only a few seconds, however, the pressure on his throat lightens considerably.

“Vivian, calm down. Look at his face, he’s bloody terrified— he’s not a spy, he’s just plain scared. And besides, how could he predict when this attack would happen in the first place, in order to sabotage us? He probably only ran away because you were carrying him so roughly.”

> Wait, swordy guy isn’t going to kill me?

The swordsman comes to Diegi’s rescue as a voice of reason, having pulled Vivian back slightly by her shoulder. Then, he turns slightly to survey the small pile of stones that had fallen out of Diegi’s sack and snaps his fingers, seemingly coming to a conclusion.

“I get it now— he carries his food with his weapons, so he got confused and mixed them up! Those stones are perfectly round and fairly heavy, perfect for throwing or using with a slingshot. Remember, the boy said he can fight back at the Guild Hall, and fighters are just what we need to handle this invasion. Let us just stick with our original plan and put him to work on the battlefield.”

> …huh? Wait, how did he come to that conclusion about the stones. Who the hell purposefully carries stones with their food, let alone mixes them up? Do they think I’m stupid!? Oh, hold on, he’s on my side here. Yeah believe him, I’m stupid!

Despite the swordsman’s cool-headed— if somewhat erroneous— analysis of the situation, Vivian doesn’t seem convinced. When she shakes his hand off her shoulder and tries to trap Diegi again, however, the swordsman slips between Vivian and Diegi and uses his shortsword to parry her battleaxe’s long handle.

> Oh, so that’s why he drew his sword. Yeah, I knew he was a cool dude! And now I can— oh, shit.

Diegi, still coughing and clutching his throat seconds after he's released, is incredibly grateful for the save, but he’s just realized…

> …I was lying about being able to fight before too! Aw man, maybe I should have just told the truth and tried to register for the guild as a water boy instead of acting like a big shot. And I can’t exactly come clean now that that lie’s saving my life… Damn it, it’s almost like my actions have consequences or something!

Vivian rolls her eyes at the swordsman’s heroics, but ultimately relents. She takes a full step back to let Diegi catch his breath in peace.

“Damn it, Equo. Always the goodie two-shoes.”

Chuckling and shaking his head, the swordsman— no, Equo, responds:

“I prefer ‘chivalrous knight.’ And, if you don’t believe me, just let the boy prove his own worth. Go ahead, boy, show Vivian your skill with these odd weapons of yours!”

Swiveling his head to face the keeled-over Diegi, Equo smiles and signifies the fallen stones with his eyes. First, he cuts his gaze sideways towards the pile. Then, he waggles his eyebrows. Third, he gives Diegi an exaggerated wink. All this to avoid saying a short sentence… Maybe a picture really is worth a thousand words.

Unfortunately for Equo, however, none of his magnificent facial contortions were properly appreciated. As soon as Diegi heard the words “prove” and “worth,” his visage was frozen into a strange mixture of smile and grimace.

> Wait… right here, right now? Those aren’t weapons, they’re bread! Or actually, they’re stones, but they were supposed to be bread… man, I’m confusing myself. Point is, there’s no way in hell I’m showing any fighting prowess with a bunch of fuckin’ rocks!

Diegi stabilizes his expression and prepares to bluster like he’s never blustered before. Clearing his throat, slicking back his hair, and speaking in his best late-night TV host imitation, he peers up at Vivian and Equo and begins talking while gesturing exaggeratedly towards the stones:

“Yeah, these babies? Not just any old rocks, that’s for sure. They’re Uncommon-rank Throwing Stones, and each one took over a week to file down and polish. That’s why I can’t bear to waste one of my precious creations by needlessly showing off my prowess here…”

“Do it.”

“okaygotityesma’am.”

Vivian interrupts Diegi’s smarmy speech off with a glare, so he immediately cuts his losses and frantically crawls over to the pile of stones, lamenting all the while. How ironic— just minutes before, he’d been doing his best to weasel out of fighting the monster invasion, but now he’s racking his brain to find ways to prove he can participate.

> What do I do, what do I do? How do I show off my already nonexistent fighting skill with a might-as-well-be-nonexistent weapon: a pile of ordinary rocks? I need to come up with ideas… I need to chuck everything I can think of at the wall and see what sticks— ouch!

Before he knows it, Diegi’s run into the stones. He rubs his forehead in dismay at the sudden impact, knowing that his thinking time is up.

“Alright, kid. Show us you still have value to offer.”

Vivian crosses her arms expectantly, Equo gives a reassuring thumbs-up, and the rest of the adventurers look on curiously. Diegi, with no other options, picks up one of the stones and thinks back to his most recent brilliant idea— the last thought that had crossed his mind before he’d reached the pile of stones. Balancing the stone in his hand, he tenses up, and prepares to give a supreme example of his combat excellence…!

“Here I go…”

*CLUNK*

Yes, he chucks it at the wall.

Throwing the rock as hard as he can, which isn’t very hard, Diegi hits the back door of a nearby building. It actually isn’t that bad of a throw, but it clearly isn’t anything adventurer-worthy. Not enough oomph behind it, no flashy effects to accompany it, no special qualities displayed by the rock itself— hell, it’s obvious that he didn’t even use a Skill to raise his throwing power. All of that, of course, Diegi expected.

Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original.

“Wait, what the— OW!”

What he didn’t expect, however, was for the rock to ricochet and come flying straight back, beaming Diegi straight in his own forehead— and, most importantly, sending him tumbling quite an impressive distance. He slides across the alley’s rough brick flooring for a couple of meters, only coming to a stop by crashing into the opposite row of buildings.

Reeling from the disproportionately strong impact, Diegi rubs his forehead and closes his eyes tightly, not wanting to see everyone’s disappointed, or more likely livid, expressions.

> Oh, that was the worst, most pathetic exhibition I could have possibly given. It’s over. It’s so, so over. Vivian’s gonna kill me, everyone’s gonna kill me, it’s so, so, so—

*clap* *clap* *clap*

The sound of slow applause.

“Wow, did you see that? He threw that thing stone enough to bowl himself over! And with such precise aim!”

Equo, as positive as always, interprets Diegi’s spectacular failure in his own way. Chattering to Vivian, who’s still standing beside him, and the rest of the adventurers, he even starts clapping. But then, Vivian… nods in agreement??

“Yeah. I thought that throw looked weak as shit, but then he got hit hard. Even without using a Skill to boost it… damn, this kid’s probably got one hell of a Strength level. Maybe even close to mine.”

Still lying with his eyes closed, Diegi does his best to process what’s coming in through his ear holes, because he just cannot believe what he’s hearing.

> Eh, are they taking pity on me and pretending like I did well? No, just see the looks on their faces. Equo looks… okay, he’s smiling like always. Vivian looks… yeah, just as intense as always. Okay, maybe ignore the looks on their faces. But seriously, hold on— do they think I did that on purpose!? Are they fucking for real??

After thinking over it again, Diegi’s realized why he got sent flying so hard. His Strength attribute is at a measly 1, but his Toughness attribute is an absolutely abysmal 0. The gap between the two levels, between an attack with meager force and a defense with absolutely none, probably led to the game-world’s engine getting confused and knocking him back way too far— but without applying too much damage, because the stone throw was originally his own attack.

Basically, his pathetic lack of power is being cancelled out by his even more pathetic defensive capabilities. It’s a similar principle to when the tutorial monster’s relatively weak swing had sent his decapitated head soaring away before… except this time, he hadn’t actually died.

> And, I guess… all that works to my advantage? From an outside perspective and without any context, it would seem like I just launched an inhumanly powerful throw, huh? Ha ha ha, I guess I’m a genius!!

So the boy thinks, already forgetting that he discovered the phenomenon by sheer chance. Most likely because if he has to consider these complex ideas any longer, his brain’ll explode. So, instead of thinking, he chooses to brag instead. Sitting up straighter and sticking a finger in the air like he’s at a disco, his face breaks into a wide grin and he condescendingly shakes his head.

“Heh heh heh, well? Well, you all? Don’t you see how strong I am now? I bet that— eh?”

He begins to oafishly laugh, only to abruptly stop once he opens his squeezed-shut eyelids. Right above him are… oh, right, he remembers. Unnatural floating screens, obviously at odds with the world around them, that have been missing for a while; not a tutorial prompt, but…

“...oh, achievement windows!? Almost forgot about these after getting First Blood!”

[ Achievement: Ready, Fire! ]

[ Description: Hand-to-hand isn’t the only way to fight! Granted to the adventurer that’s learned to take a step back and deal damage with a ranged attack. ]

[ Reward: New Perk — Projectile Assistance Lv 0 ]

[ Achievement: Swindled! ]

[ Description: You were tricked by a shady fellow and sold bad merchandise. You do get to keep the items, useless as they are, but take care that it doesn’t happen again! ]

[ Reward: New Skill — Perception Lv 0 ]

Lying unevenly on his back, Diegi brushes his bangs out of his eyes and peers up in mild surprise. No one but him reacts to the achievement screens’ appearance— it makes sense, since he’s the only one who can see them. Furthermore, they aren’t even a real physical part of the world. But still, that doesn’t stop him from hesitantly moving his already pointed finger to try and touch the screens. Just before his fingers reach, however— the floating rectangles disappear.

And so, incidentally, does the pile of stones. Now this… others definitely react to.

The crowd of excitedly chattering adventurers suddenly hushes. Vivian’s eyes nearly bug out of her head, though she quickly struggles to hide her reaction with a disdainful scowl. Equo even bursts out laughing, and his slow clap turns into genuine ovation.

“And would you look at that! With just the flick of his hand, he can even use spatial magic to store his weapons! Incantationless magic, at that! This boy, he’s a veritable prodigy!”

Once again, Equo’s overly favorable analysis of the situation works to Diegi’s favor. Though, the boy himself isn’t exactly in a state of mind to gloat about it this time. Metaphorical steam pours out of his ears as his poor tired brain processes the influx of new information:

> I don’t know what the hell that was, but it definitely wasn’t any kind of magic. As if I could cast with a Max Mana capacity of ten points. But then… Why did the stones disappear after I touched them? Oh— did the stones get sent to my inventory, like the stick before? But I didn’t even do it on purpose! I should probably open my menu to check that out later. Yeah, and I should probably check what those new achievement rewards actually do. I remember getting those achievements before… but I’m pretty sure they didn’t come with those Skills or Perks in the original MYTH. Perception is obvious, I’ve used that Skill a million times in dungeons, but what the hell is Projectile Assistance? I also need to check that out. Wait, how do I even check my achievements? Is it a screen in the Main Menu? And I also also still have to escape. I have so much to do… so much to think about… and… and…

*BOOM!*

Diegi gives up and goes limp on the floor. As promised, his brain exploded.

Vivian, still trying not to appear too impressed, brushes her freely hanging hair to the side and sighs.

“Alright, Equo, I admit it. He’s not a spy, and he’s useful to have along. Doesn’t make him any less of a cowardly shit, though. Tch.”

At Vivian’s words, Equo shrugs and places his hands on his hips with a prince-charming type of smile, not-so-subtly emphasizing his perfect 8-pack abs.

“Finding courage is part of the knight’s journey. I’m sure he’ll do great. Now, shall we be off? The battlefield awaits!”

So declares the self-proclaimed knight, exhibiting all of his knightly qualities. His lack of modesty, his lack of armor… on second thought, let’s not dwell too much on those qualities.

After concluding their petty squabble, Vivian and Equo share a brief look. Then, unceremoniously—

““Hup!””

Suddenly working in tandem again, they pick up Diegi just as they did before and continue to carry him under their arms. And just like that, the collective crowd of adventurers swarm out of the alley and to the place Diegi most doesn’t want to go:

Through the giant gates and out into the grassy Paxdom Fields… no, out into the battlefield.

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Outside of Paxdom’s northern gate, a horde of monsters surround two guards who are standing back to back, and more stream in every few seconds. The taller guard silently cracks his neck and narrows his eyes, while the shorter guard brushes his long black hair out of his eyes and sighs. Then, clutching his gleaming golden spear tightly, he whispers some final words to his best friend.

“I guess this is the end, huh buddy?”

“Yes.”

“Damn… never thought I’d go out before even reaching thirty… I’m still a young dude!”

Linderton, having regained some confidence from the mere presence of his longtime companion, readies his spear, and Michael readies his sword. The stage is set for their last stands against the forces that threaten their beloved home city. The perfect picture of heroic sacrifice, both the last line of defense between the monsters and the nearly evacuated civilians, they prepare to go down in a blaze of glory—

Only for the largest part of the monsters around them to abruptly break formation and start shambling away. Is it just the guard’s tired eyes, or are the beasts actually moving faster than before? As if they’re even more eager to breach the city walls than before, for some reason.

Linderton, his briefly regained aura of reliability quickly fading, panickedly reaches out his arm and screams:

“Huh? W– wait, they’re heading towards the city gates! Don’t let them reach the interior! Somebody stop them!!”

Alas, his cry falls on no ears. Linderton and Michael are the last line of defense— help from other guards will not be forthcoming. Desperately, they make a move to intercept the dispatched monsters, but the few beasts who hadn’t started moving away still block the guards’ path. The dispatched foes are now free to enter the gates and attack innocent civilians… have the honorable guards of Paxdom failed their duty? The pack grows closer, ever closer, to the gaping open gates…

*shunk*

*shunk* *shunk* *shunk* *shunk* *shunk* *shunk* *shunk* ———

…and is quickly turned to a pile of mincemeat by consecutive flashes of purple light. Then, as a final touch, the remains are explosively blown back and scattered by the swing of a violet weapon’s broad flat.

“Hey now, what’s this, unable to handle a few weenie monsters as weak as this? City guards shitting the bed, as usual? Ha ha ha, let us show you how a real adventurer deals with a raid!”

A hoarse but powerful voice rings out, causing Linderton to drop his guard. He almost gets hit by one of the monster’s swings, but manages to parry at the last second with the staff of his spear. Then, he looks beyond the horde, towards the open northern gate, and finds the source of the monsters’ demise:

Illuminated by the dim light of the moon, is a ragtag group of people led by a woman with fierce scarlet hair, planting one of her boots firmly on the mangled guts of one of the monsters she’d just taken care of. With a purple battleaxe in her left hand and her fiery hair swaying softly in the moonlight, she looks exactly like the savior that the guards need. The look is even completed by… wait a second. It's a horrible action to take mid-battle, but he really can’t help it— Linderton rubs his eyes in disbelief and looks again. Is that… a boy being held captive under her arm!? He’s even covering his own eyes in fear… Linderton can’t help but wonder, just what kind of reinforcements are these??

Nevertheless, the woman’s violet-colored metal armor clanks as she lifts her battleaxe like a flag and shouts with all her might:

“Adventurer’s Guild, Paxdom Branch? ATTACK!!”

And from under her arm, having recovered from his brain blast, the boy fruitlessly tries to worm out of her tightened grip and mutters forlornly:

“And I’m still not part of that guild, so you should let me go… I just wanna finish my tutorial, damn it!”

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> This, is the worst case scenario.

He’s not stupid. Even with his eyes closed for the umpteenth time, Diegi can tell from the sounds of fighting, the smell of blood, even the stale taste of the air that he’s inside of a battlefield.

> I just want to go home.

He’d gotten lucky the first time, but what were the chances that he’d be saved after death again? If he was killed by something that wasn’t part of the tutorial… Worst case scenario, he dies permanently. No more retries, no more redoes, goodbye world. But even if it was… best case scenario, he gets stuck in an endless loop of dying and reviving only to die again. Having to redo the journey to Paxdom while a monster attack is going on is tantamount to suicide. How many deaths would he accumulate? Even dying once had scarred him badly enough…

Between the two options, Diegi can’t even tell which one he would prefer.

> What are we up against, here? What could possibly be causing the guards this much trouble and require a squad of adventurers to be dispatched? I don’t want to look. I don’t want to know! But…

He can’t run from reality forever. And so Diegi removes the hands covering his eyes, and slowly, slowly, opens them to see:

“Wait… tutorial… prompts?”

A truly horrifying sight. Standing not too far away from him, is the foe he thought he’d never see again. Dripping with ooze, leering with its eerie glowing red eyes, hunched over like an old crone, gnashing with teeth barely visible through the goop, dragging its overly long arms through the bloodied grass—

The tutorial monster.

But not just one. He can see droves of them, lying on the ground, shambling around, engaging guards in combat… from where he’s standing, he can see each and every one of their glowing red eyes. And above each and every one of them, as if mocking his previous declaration that all he wants is to complete his tutorial, a variation of a familiar but strangely pixelated blue screen floats:

[ Defeat the monster using basic attacks! ] [ DefeaX the monster Xsing baXic attacks! ] [ DXXfeat tXe monXter using basic attackX! ]

[ XXefeat thX monsteXXX XXng basXXc attaXXXXXXXXXX—