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Theomancer
CH88: Pretentious priestly pricks

CH88: Pretentious priestly pricks

We were simply walking, only me, Sheeno, and Undine, taking a quiet stroll toward our home, and all the while I was still asking myself why I had to be dismissed from Riverfist’s office twice in one day, and by two different people to the booth.

I’m not complaining… Ok, I am, but that’s beside the point.

What I’m really asking is: Was the back and forth really needed?

Like, we had instant messaging, and I’m pretty sure it would have sufficed until we all were more collected and prepared to table a more productive discussion. But no, somehow Merga effortlessly got us all on the back foot, and masterfully had as us all feel like inadequate children.

Doubly funny that happened right after having discovered that I was supposedly this ‘important figure’, but I guess that’s my life now.

A point that I should maybe point out is that I’m ‘the important one’, but not ‘the chosen one,’ because that last one has some connotations that somebody else had a hand in how my existence came to be, when it was the randomness of it all that made my case possible.

The link that [Luck] had with randomness was the sole reason she was able to sniff me out before it had even been a confirmed thing, and I’m pretty sure she’s also very smug about snatching me up as a [Protegee] before anyone else noticed my true ‘importance’.

Not that they didn’t try in the beginning, but it was all for the wrong reasons.

But seriously, [Luck] had really worried there when I recognized her as the person that validated my ticket back on Earth, but after an honest and serious discussion, I had been left with no lingering doubts that she didn’t have a hand in causing the demise of my dimension.

“Do we need to get anything before going back home?” Sheeno piped in, maybe a bit too late to really turn back, but I could appreciate the effort.

“I don’t think so. unless you wanted to cook something in particular?” I asked.

“No way. After a day like this we’re reheating something already made”, she responded immediately with a scoff, although with a self-deprecating smile on her lips.

“You’ve been getting lazy in your cooking lately”, I couldn’t help but tease her.

“But your cooking’s so much better!” It was her turn to wine for once, although jokingly in her case.

“That doesn’t excuse you ditching your share of the chores!” I tried reprimanding her with a waggling finger.

“Does she?” came from behind me.

“Sorry, what?” I turn to Undine, confusion all over my face, not having expected her to join in our charade.

“Does she neglect her side of the house chores, or does she exchange her turn in the kitchen for your turn to wash the clothes, or similar?” She better clarified, the knowing look she was sending me becoming more and more obvious, to the point even a dunce without [Emphatic Aura] could figure out what was happening.

And I was unwilling to give in.

“That’s not the same! All our clothes have self-cleaning [Enchantments], and the washing machine is magically operated which makes it so it does everything on its own.”

“You might see it like that-”, Undine tried to counteract.

“Shut up for a moment”, I didn’t like being this rude to her but I had to stop her, one open hand in her direction to do just that, while my head rotated as if on a swivel.

Something was very wrong.

I’m not even sure what tipped me off: My [Aura] was as quiet as it could possibly be when you’re alone on a street with two people you know well enough.

No, something else, right in the back of my mind, was screaming at me there simply was ‘something wrong’, and whatever it was it didn’t want to explain itself.

While I was thinking about the why and how, both the girls wordlessly adopted a subtle formation around me, trying to protect me while I figured things out.

“Ok, this is freaking me out. Buddy?”

There is some kind of [Divine Interference] going on, but I have never seen the likes.

All I can tell you, with any degree of certainty, is that none of the [Gods] aligned with the [System] have anything to do with this.

“What does that even- no, wait, I see it. I just had to think about it: A [God] from another dimension could be mixed in with this.

But how does that work with whoever this is being able to nullify my [Unavoidable Detection]? It is, by accidental design, ‘unavoidable’.

But this time it’s saying that there’s nothing to find.”

Wait, that’s not exactly right: There was nothing of note.

Without looking at it I kept my attention on that pocket of nothingness behind us, which was keeping pace with our group. And when I say ‘nothingness’, I mean that there was no air, mana, space, or time in that specific bubble.

The only thing that I could think it is was some kind of envoy from [Destruction].

I mean, it would even make a reasonable amount of sense: After all, I had been given from the other [Gods] a [Divine Quest] to practically bring an end to her plans.

This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

As discreetly as I could I started… ‘weaving’ my sense? That doesn’t sound right, but I was sort of controlling them through a mental funnel, and trying to pierce the nothingness, without bursting the bubble around it and alerting those within.

Never tried honing in on something with anything more complicated than a cone, and even that was pushing it, since I normally just used spherical pulses, originating from me and expanding outwards in all directions.

I couldn’t be blamed for that though: Nobody, in the history of humankind, has had to literally control their sense as if it was some kind of new limb, so doing it only hours after being introduced to the [System] had been quite disorienting, and if it wasn’t for all the help I received I doubt that I would have had an easy time adapting to it.

…Or maybe I would have because ‘adapting’ to things and evolving to the situation was kind of my thing.

While I was thinking about how great I was, something inside the nothingness grabbed onto the tendril I was trying to pierce it with, and the bubble burst apart nearly instantly, revealing three different individuals who wore the same white garb.

A very familiar white garb with golden vines as decorations-

[Priests of Purity], and they were ready for a confrontation!

I had barely enough time to shout what they were, that attacks were already flying our way: Vibrant vines ripped through the earth under our feet, jagged shards of obsidian flew at our faces, and constricting rings of light tried to encroach on us from the sides.

And except for the vines, everything else was pathetically weak… but since they were traveling underground, they should be technically categorized as roots, I guess.

A flick of my hand brought my staff to it, and another flick was all I needed to conjure a couple of [Totems], and their shield easily stopped the enemy’s advance, only the roots surviving first contact without shattering, but instead started coiling around the [Barrier].

“Why does that keep happening? Is it some kind of known tactic against turtling?”

Leaving the question of why the [Priestess] with green hair fought like the [Mausoleum Giant]’s skeletal centipede for later, I started summoning [Auromons] and [Flying Trappers], obviously going non-lethal because it was better to get these guys alive, to be later questioned.

Not that they would extend the same courtesy to us, of course: By now I knew that these guys had a special hard-on for exterminating people like me and Sheeno, in some kind of misguided righteous crusade in the name of their mad [Demi-God].

“If these fucks weren’t here I doubt [Destruction] would have spent so much effort in destroying this [Nexus], so even if I were to kill some it would only be a service to the world.”

The grim thought gave me pause for but a second, unwilling to accept it as my own, and at that same instant, my companions sprung their own coordinated attack.

Sheeno rushed to the rustling vegetation and swung her four hand-axes of ice, the weapon leaving a cold trail behind as they moved, and upon cutting the not-quite-vines ice quickly grew to cover them, originating from where her weapons had made contact. Not particularly destructive, as far as attacks went, but it opened a path through which we could use to run out of the encirclement and go face-to-face with our adversaries.

Sheeno kept herself in front of us, her axes morphing into shields as ulterior protection against the onslaught that was ready to welcome us, again, only a barrage of explosive seeds proved somewhat troublesome, mostly because of the force behind the detonations that they released upon impact, but that was also countered easily enough with the addition of a couple of quick [Rune].

And then it was finally time for our counter-attack.

I flooded the area with [Mana Bolts], none particularly strong on their own, and they were easily dispatched by hastily put in place barriers from the [Priests], only their volume worked somewhat in hindering their sight; but that was fine, because they were a distraction.

A bit lightheaded for the enormous expenditure of [Mps] I had to pay to cast so much, I consumed a bit more of what I had left with a group cast of [Betterment].

Enjoy the blitzkrieg, shit-heads!

Glowing cubes surged from behind me, spitting out nets of various types by the second, while a bunch of [Aurumons] with either staves, bows, or guns, and glowing purple eyes, emerged from the same crevice we walked through, raining even more projectiles down upon our enemies.

Most surprising of all was Undine, who, with an unexpectedly wrathful expression on her face, moved most of the friendly attacks in the air at her whim, creating a sort of beautiful coordination within the mindless, inefficient chaos that it was meant to be.

Something that I couldn’t complain about, even if I had wanted to, since now the attacks kept raining on the same spots, exposing weaknesses and cracks, instead of striking randomly, or even at all.

“Enough, you wretched things!” The green-haired Dryad shouted, and white mana started oozing out of her, staining anything that it came in contact with, and sort of ‘eating away’ at our attacks.

“With [Purity] in our hearts and minds, we will make the [Nexus] a cleaner space through our faith!” All three [Priests] suddenly started chanting at once, the whiteness growing thicker by the second, and something in the back of my mind started screaming that we had to stop them right now.

“They’re summoning an [Avatar] of their [Demi-God]! Quick, stop them before-“ Undine naturally knew more about what was happening than either I or Sheeno did, but before she could get out the warning through her panic, five quick blurs joined the fray.

“We got this, you kids better get back!” Madame Prise… Nah, I don’t like it- Sir Prise said while sprinting to the front, right next to Sheeno, a kite shield and a flanged mace in her hands.

“Ha! As if I’d leave my prey to others after it insulted me!” My mate surprised multiple people by refusing the [Knight]’s order, but it’s not like I could exactly blame her.

I was also getting kind of pissed at these [Purity]’s assholes strutting around with a ‘holier than thou’ attitude, that quickly switched to ‘let’s genocide whatever we consider as impure’ whenever they met me and mine.

But Sheeno’s voice worried me that she might be losing it more than necessary.

Unfortunately, there was no more time that could be dedicated to the discussion: The ‘purifying miasma’ had grown threateningly thick, and it had to be stopped.

I have no intention in discovering what an [Avatar] of a hostile [Demi-God] could do to me.

Fortunately, Prise was a woman of action, and with only a nod to my [Heliokan], she was already moving with her subordinates to apprehend the [Priests].

Efficiently and professionally, the other four [Knights] divided themselves into squads of two, each one going for one of the weaker targets, while Prise, Sheeno, Undine, and I focused the the seemingly more competent Dryad.

Our volumes of attacks diminished in order to allow the [Knight] to better work unimpeded, but since the trade was for quality over quantity, it ended up increasing the pressure on our enemies, which was good since it stalled the propagation of mana that had started to acquire a dull golden glow, signaling that it was about ready to unleash its [Divinity].

“You foul heathens! How dare you protect those abominations!” the [Floral Dryad] shrieked at us, seeing her companions swiftly taken care of.

One merely received a chop to the back of the head when his [Barrier] broke, and he was immediately out like a light, while the other took slightly more work, in the sense that he had to be beaten repeatedly on the head before he was made to faint, a service that our recent allies were all too eager to provide.

With only one [Priest] left to invoke the power of her [Demi-God] the [Spell] broke, the backlash caused her to falter, and then Sheeno and Prise fell on her like a duo of hungry wolves, mercilessly beating her into submission.

The white-gold mana sluggishly dissipated on its own, and once the air was clear the [Knights] started collaring the [Priests] and putting glowing manacles around their wrists, the now criminals too unconscious to put up a fight.

“Thanks for the assist, Prise! Things had started looking dicey there, towards the end”, I amiably chummed up the [Lupine Kebunu], but there was no quelling the sense of simmering disappointment coming from her, and even her normally inexpressive face displayed some of her annoyance.

She was not happy that Sheeno did not comply with her initial demands, and she didn’t need words to get it across.

A harsh stare would do from her.

“We need to talk. Woman to woman”, she finally spoke, starting with one of the most feared phrases among mankind.