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Theomancer
CH45: Gotta go fast!

CH45: Gotta go fast!

Running around at the speed of sound is not as easy as it sounds, pun intended, especially when you have places to go, so you can get the idea of following a rainbow out of your head.

Jokes aside, we were freaking zooming through the [Wild Area], surprising both [Monsters] and other [Adventurers] with our fulmineous passage; not that we had time to mind them besides narrowing missing some near-collisions, since, as I already said, we were going at the speed of sound, also known as Mach1 I think.

The damned [Spell] didn’t give me pedals, nor a throttle, to control this grungy beast, but most of the driving was handled instead by intentions, which was totally safe and definitely didn’t make me worry that I would crash as soon as I got distracted by something else, like this very intrusive thought.

Swerving around another earthen outpost, and scaring another bunch of [Guards], I shout over to Sheeno what I’ve been thinking for a while now.

“Say, are there any rules for [Adventurers] that are against what I’m currently doing?” I ask, knowing damn well that there are, since I remember studying something similar being hinted at in one of the books I was given during my preliminary study.

“Oh, yeah, like a bunch. But they gotta catch you first!” An increasingly jubilant Sheeno shouted back.

“Lovely, they’re going to add me to their ‘too fast and too furious’ list”, I muttered under my breath.

I really doubt that they’d do much more than reprimand me, since I have yet to cause any incidents, but I also doubt that they’d let me go without at least making a public scene out of it…

“Shit, I hope Merglobth won’t try to embarrass us too much.”

And that moment of distraction was all I needed to lose control for a fraction of a second and run over a [Monster]. Well, it’s more like it got its skull caved in from a direct hit with the hood of the car, because then it actually flew over us and cartwheeled away.

“HAHAhahah! Do it again, do it again!” Shouted Sheeno, smiling like crazy and jumping on her seat.

Seeing that the car wasn’t even dented after the impact, probably thanks to the [Shamanic Totem of Protection] I put in the trunk for some extra [shielding], I decided that mowing down some [Monsters] on our way wouldn’t hurt, and my decision definitely wasn’t skewed by Sheeno repeatedly hitting my shoulders with her elbows until I relented.

Definitely not.

* * *

{MERGLOBTH’S POV}

Worrying reports of an un-[Inspect]-able metallic creature rushing through the [Wilds] were working the [Guild’s staff] into a frenzy, Merglobth among them.

That a particularly evolved and belligerent [Monster] would try and bring harm to the [Rainbow Guild] wasn’t anything new, it happened almost every month or so, but that said creature couldn’t be identified through any means, or that it was so fast that it was hard to keep track of unless you had seriously high [Statistics] in both [Reflex] and [Acuity], made the event a bigger threat.

Maybe on the level of one that normally came by only once a year, and it was way too soon for it to be that time again.

Merglobth was organizing a [Team] to go after this new [Monster], when a report came in from a well know [Scout] that said that the [Monster] had changed its movements: going from traveling in a mostly-straight line towards the [Guild], to purposely swerving around to hit, and most of the times kill, as many other [Monsters] as possible.

[Beasts] were spared from such a fate simply because in the [Wild Area] they had adapted to fleeing stronger creatures a long time ago, and their instincts proved particularly effective in this case, since the new metallic [Monster] seemed to avoid collisions with trees and rocks, the places where they normally found refuge.

While the other members of [staff] tried to figure out how to use this new nugget of information to their advantage, the more seasoned Merglobth was having a terrible premonition.

If this new creature was purposely amassing [Experience], then they may be dealing with a new [Demon]… and, in that case, the situation was a once-in-a-century disaster.

* * *

Hitting living things with the quadruped car quickly lost its luster, especially after I noticed that we only got a ridiculously small amount of [Exp] per kill.

But, apparently, I was the only one that was thinking so.

“Yeah, another one! I think that was thirty!” Excitedly reported Sheeno, still bouncing on her seat, even though my vehicle kept us completely level at all times.

“She can be kind of childish at times… although that could just be her ‘meat-headedness’ coming through.”

Probably a little bit of both.

“Probably.”

I have to ask: Did you make the car a walking abomination, instead of a hover-craft, because you got self-conscious about Sheeno also pointing out your fixation with flying things?

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“No…. maybe?

Ok, yes, and I hate it!”

I didn’t do it consciously, a flying car not only would have made more sense right now, since we were prioritizing speed above all else, but it would have also probably been safer, and less mentally taxing to use, since I would have a lot fewer obstacles to worry about.

Back to the driving, my [Unavoidable Detection], which I was using to avoid people before having to wait for a visual clue, was telling me that a lot of [Adventurers] were starting to group up around us in what seemed to be a predetermined formation.

“Hey, Sheeno?” I attracted Sheeno’s attention.

“Yeah?” She responded, finally at a normal volume, but without stopping to look away from the front.

“How likely is it that [Adventurers] would mistake us for a rampant [Monsters] and organize an [Extermination Quest] for us?” I worriedly asked her.

…And her smile died after only a couple of seconds of what I thought was her pondering my question.

“Oh shit, I have to warn Merglobth!” She suddenly exclaimed, loudly once more.

“Language!” I shouted.

“What!? But you swear all the time!” She rebuked.

“I am me, and you are you; we keep ourselves to different standards, and it's better that way”, I loftily stated.

She finally moved her gaze to me.

“Have I really not swore in front of you up until now?” She asked, frowning.

“Pretty sure, yeah, so let’s keep it that way”, I idly responded, removing a hand from one of the sticks to wave it in the air.

“That doesn’t sound fair to me”, she lamented.

“As you are part of royalty, being a [Princess]- OW!!! Don’t hit the driver!”

I had started to explain why she should use a cleaner vocabulary in a posh English accent, but the mention of her old title was reason enough to make her punch me in the shoulder, and it wasn’t a gentle one either.

“You deserved it! Also, I’m messaging Merglobth with the [Guild Card]”, Sheeno stated, while starting to fumble with her ring to pull out her [Card].

“Good idea”, I said while still massaging my shoulder.

Obviously, with the minute or so of distraction that I had, we could only end up crashing into a tree… which we actually smashed right through, and if it wasn’t for the loud noise, and the visual of a tree getting pulverized around us, I would have been none the wiser.

“Well, I feel kind of bad for the tree, but at least now we know that this thing can take a beating”, I said, but Sheeno only response was an unamused look.

* * *

{MERGLOBTH’S POV}

After the report of the unknown creature obliterating a [Wild Tree], the most common yet known to be an exceptionally sturdy form of vegetation within the [Wild Area], in its path, the notion that it had to be stopped became a permanent fixation of every single official within the [Guild]. Even [Guild Master] Rubicon Riverfist, a [Scimian Kebunu] who was probably the most powerful person within the entire [Rainbow Guild] at the moment, came out of his secluded cultivation, as those with a [Cultivator Sub-Class] like him liked to do, so that he could lend a hand if it comes to it.

Mergobth was coordinating with his colleagues once more when one of the folds in his tentacles started vibrating.

They pulled out their [Guild Card] and upon noticing who the caller was they immediately opened the connection.

Merglobth: Are you ok, your highness?

Even though it was only written text, Merglobth knew that their worry still came clearly through.

Sheeno Fyratta: You know that I’m not fit to be called “highness” anymore.

Merglobth released a sigh that they didn’t know they had been holding: If Sheeno had the time to contradict that small point it meant that she was safe.

Sheeno Fyratta: But that’s not why I originally contacted you. I’m currently traveling at incredibly high-speed inside Dulcet’s new [construct vehicle], and I was getting worried that the [Adventurers] around us had mistakenly identified us as a new type of [Monster], so here I am telling you to not worry about any reports that you might get related to something similar happening, since it would be just us.

Upon reaching the midway point of the message Merglobth froze, because they couldn’t believe what they had just read.

Merglobth: You’re the reason the entire [Guild] has been worked into a frenzy!?

Sheeno Fyratta: Uhm… oops?

Merglobth had to forcibly restrain themselves from smacking their eyes with their own tentacles.

Merglobth: Youg miss, you better hope that people won't get too angry with you.

Sheeno Fyratta: Sorry Merglobth, I’ll try to make Dulcet slow down.

Merglobth: What do you mean with “try”!?

Sheeno Fyratta: Well, he doesn’t really have full control of it yet. It’s his first time using this newly created [Spell] ad he’s mostly winging it.

Merglobth: Fine, we’ll talk about this later, since I must deduce by your trajectory that you’re headed back.

Sheeno Fyratta: Yup, see you soon!

Merglobth had already started calming the situation down, starting by informing the [Guild Master] and the other higher-ups of the actual situation, delegating the job of spreading the information. Rubicon's furious eyes made it clear that the discussion wasn’t over, but that was a given: such widespread panic couldn’t be simply swiped under the rug, and there would be repercussions.

After another short back and forth with Sheeno the communication was cut and they readied for their charges’ arrival.

* * *

Sheeno put away her [card], making a holographic sheet of paper disappear, and then she turned towards me.

“So, I have both good news and bad news”, she stated.

“Why are you so good at starting discussions so horribly?” I lamented.

“Practice”, was her deadpan reply.

“Fine”, I reluctantly accepted, “shoot the bad then”.

“Why and how would I shoot at the bad news?” Sheeno asked in a confused tone.

“Are you fucking with me, or did the idiom not get properly translated by the [System]’s faulty [cultural interpretation]?” Neither option would be new, and if she was fucking with me asking directly would ruin her fun.

After she hadn’t responded immediately I dared to waste a second of attention to look at her, and she was sulking, with a very prominent pout taking residence on her face.

“It’s no fun if you outright ask!” She complained, “the bad news is that the [Guild] was already organizing an [Extermination Quest] for us, mistaking us for some sort of [Demon]; obviously the situation should resolve itself soon enough, but you better slow down this thing if you don’t want people to get any angrier, or jumpy”, she further remarked.

“That is awful news! And do you really think that I wouldn’t have slowed down already if I could!? This thing has two modes: Go and stop. I need to re-[Spell-Weave] the concept of [control] into this [Spell], apparently”, I said, while gesticulating with one hand off the yoke.

“Ok, fortunately, we discovered this flaw outside of a ‘life and death’ scenario, so it’s ok. And if you’re wondering about the good news, it’s that our quick completion time for our assigned [Quest] will be enough for you to advance an [Adventurer rank]. Unfortunately, the [Guild Master] caught wind of what was happening, and will probably make this whole mess much more difficult for us than it needs to be.”

“You do realize that the ‘bad news’ was followed by facts that mellowed it out, and the ‘good news’ by facts that made it not as good, right?” I had to point out.

An unapologetic “yup”, was the only response I got.

And my response, in return, was smacking the back of my head on the headrest in frustration, until the ‘road’ required my full attention once more.

My grumpy attitude made Sheeno laugh out loud, which only made me grumpier.

“Good for you that you find this ‘funny’ “, I grumbled mostly to myself.