‘Interestingly, this version was completely different from the other. It was still me, but a grown-up version. A young adult, a beautiful twi’lek woman, was standing in front of me. With a radiating warm force presence and a motherly smile plastered over her face. Its form was supposed to show me a possible and hopeful vision of the future. What I can become if I choose the light side and break away from the darkness as much as possible. It was an innocent and happy image, which would be a dream to make into reality from most of the jedi.’

‘Yet behind the motherly act laid a plethora of empty promises. As I know that I would likely never become a mother as a jedi. With that realization, the hearth of that true motherly love was already destroyed. This apparition, of course, could never realize that, as from its perspective, it loved all beings as if they were its own children. Yet to ask such love from a simple living being would likely lead to self-shaming and anxiety. Since such a thing is nearly impossible. Without my inherited knowledge, I would say that it is entirely impossible. Now I know that there are few such light side monks, that have managed to reach such an affinity with the light, that they have become truly part of it. Reaching immortality in a very special way.’

‘Our immortality, I mean, my order’s way of reaching immortality, is different in nature. It is purely based on our own knowledge of the force. First of all, focusing on the protection of the mind and our memories after death, few of us are able to appear in the form of a force spirit like Revan did, at least outside of our temples. Those light side monks are something entirely different in this regard. They are ageless beings, and basically untouchable. What I mean is that they can materialise their bodies if they want to, or disperse it like a fog. They can touch things with their bodies if they wish, they can use the force in an immensely powerful way, but they usually choose not to. They can also eat and live like a normal person, but they have no need to do so. They gain energy from the force and can change their appearance to whatever they want. Which means you can’t really find them if they don’t want you to find them. Such annoying beings they are...‘

‘They have an unusual tendency to shower you with ridiculously dangerous trials...’

‘I was awoken from my swimming thoughts by a warm sensation on the top of my head. I looked up and saw the newly arriving guest standing in front of me.’

‘It lovingly petted my head, and to its horror, it also petted the head of the dark side manifestation sitting next to me. It flinched away immediately, with a pained expression on its face.’

‘They couldn’t really touch each other without causing serious discomfort or outright pain for both of them. They were avatars from opposite sides of the force. They are like fire and water. They can exist beside each other, but they cannot exist in exactly the same place. Imagine a river flowing through a burning forest. The fire can burn the entire forest just next to the river, yet the river will still be there. The fire can’t do anything with it. It will continue to flow as if nothing ever changed, that was the nature of their relationship.’

‘This is the reason I rarely use much light side powers in my battles. It’s a secret weakness of the Grey Order. Because of the opposing nature of the two sides of the force. We cannot channel light side powers and dark side powers concurrently, not effectively at least. If we do, both of their effects will be weakened. Therefore, if you want to reach the same effect, you will need to use much more energy for them, and that will be more taxing on your body and mind, too. Which is a very bad thing in a battle situation, where you can die from the slightest of mistakes, and mistakes happen more often when you are tired. So usually we look at the current situation, and pick one side of the force, which we will continue to use until things calm down or an emergency happens. For a battle situation, where you are on the front line, the dark side is what you need to use. It provides much more opportunity and more varieties of attacks.’

‘My thoughts were again interrupted by a loud and angered shout.’

“You!”

“You are quite cute when being frustrated from failing to corrupt another innocent child of mine.” — ‘My older look-alike continued to ruffle her younger counterpart’s hair.’

‘Now that I thought about it, I wondered why the dark side avatar never appeared to me in an adult like form? Did it not care about appearances only power, or was there a more ominous meaning to this?’

‘Unable to figure it out, I shrugged and refocused on the ongoing argument.’

‘Right at the time when said avatar fitfully shoved away her older sister’s hand.’

“You may laugh now, but it won’t last long. I will be the one who wins in the end. You and I both know that.”

‘I narrowed my eyes, watching the exchange with a thoughtful expression.’

“Not likely, but I commend your stubbornness. No one else would even try after so many embarrassing failures, especially in a row.” — ‘The light side apparition retorted teasingly.’

“... Sit down already and shut up...”

“Thanks for the invitation, little sister. I think I will oblige.”

‘She bowed lightly in a ceremonious manner and proceeded to sit down to my other side. It was about time, too. I sighed in relief. Listening to their bickering was grating on my nerves.’

“You are late, again, it seems, that you have grown quite arrogant since the time we spent in your temple. You are in my territory now. So act accordingly and be punctual!” — ‘The dark side apparition scolded.’

“I did not grow arrogant. You are the one who did! Because Nizzy, chooses to use your powers more often than mine. I can do other things too, not just heal, you know? I would like to throw around some boulders at times and crush a few droids as well! It’s unfair that she always sides with you. Where is the balance in that?” — ‘She pouted at me like a pampered little girl. Making me cringe internally witnessing my older self doing the childish gesture.’

‘I sighed again, realising that their argument was far from being resolved. Usually they were more tame, but not visiting for so long thanks to being placed on ice seemed to incite their differences.’

“Hah! Are you trying to convince me or yourself about that?”

“What? ... You, of course. I am in peace with myself, not like you.”

“... Are you seriously that thick?” — The dark side manifestation demanded with a baffled expression.

“... I don’t understand. What do you mean by thick? I am not fat, am I?” — The light side manifestation reacted with genuine incredulity. Checking her current form, trying to determine if she was indeed fat or not.

“I can’t believe this... and you have the face to take on an adult form again!” — The other one erupted in sudden rage.

“I already told you to speak plainly. Explain what you meant... please.”

“No way.“

‘I choose to interrupt their banter, knowing that otherwise it would go on forever...’

“Just explain to her, or we will be here for the whole day...”

‘The light side manifestation has some serious issues with understanding hurtful comments, which are not straight-out curses. The reason for this is that it always, and I mean always, assumes the best from everyone around it. It wouldn’t think that anyone would intentionally want to make fun of it or hurt its feelings. It is not stupid, even if it comes off like that in many scenarios. Truthfully, it is just a big softie and a bit of a pushover.’

“Look at that! Someone finally decided to speak. You know that it is tiresome to constantly read your mind, and why don’t you explain it, then, you are the only one who is bound by such insignificant things as time!” — She crossed her arms, stubbornly.

“But, you just told me that I was late...”

“Shut it.”

“How mean…” — She pouted again.

A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

‘I massaged my temples, feeling the first signs of a headache.’

“Because I was not the one to speak in a confusing manner, you know that the light side manifestation is too... pure to understand your meaning, even after all this time, she wouldn’t suspect you to try to hurt her feelings. If there is another possible way to take the meaning of your words, she will choose that automatically...”

“She called me pure! Did you hear that? I am so happy to be praised like that. I am going to win her over, that’s a given now!”

“Argh... okay... listen carefully, what I meant by telling you...”

~oOo~

A few minutes later.

“What? You are so mean! You are hurting my feelings...”

“Of course, I mean... That’s the point... and all...”

“I never thought that you could be so cruel to your big sister!”

“That’s interesting because I was trying my hardest to make you realize this fact for a while now... Are you seriously surprised?”

“You were trying to surprise me! How endearing... although, you should simply tell me that you want to spend more time together instead of planning a surprise. Now I am going to give you a big hug as a reward for your thoughtfulness!”

“What? Get away from me! Your touch burns both of us, you crazy masochist... ARRRGHH!”

“Ouch... True… But it was a small sacrifice to make, and I have no regrets…“

“This is why I hate you...”

“No, you hate me because you are not capable of doing anything else.“

“…” — ‘Right about now, everyone should realize why I didn’t really like to meditate... This technique is a double-edged sword in more than one way, after all.’

“-I heard that! Although I am not really sure what you mean...“

“Yeah, me too... I mean, not the part when she doesn’t understand it... sigh...”

‘I face palmed.’ — “I can’t take this much longer...”

‘There was another wave of warmness directly channeled into my body. I felt a single hand touching my shoulder for a few seconds, then it was removed slowly.’

‘I looked up, surprised by the sudden solidarity I received. What I saw was a slightly worried expression from the older me. I can’t say that it didn’t feel good to be comforted by her, even if it felt weird.’

“Nizzy, I want you to know that you can always count on me. I will support you, but I would be more efficient if you would rely on me more, instead of her cruel ways.” — She gave a sidelong frustrated glance towards the dark side avatar.

“Be careful, sister. Jealousy can lead to the dark side.” — Reacted said avatar with a satisfied smirk.

“What jealousy?” — The light side avatar blinked innocently. — “I merely thought that you were a bad influence, little sister. Ah!” — She exclaimed. — “Did… did I hurt your feelings? Sorry… I didn’t think!”

“...”

“...”

‘Some of you may have a certain question right now. Which probably sounds like this: “Why are they acting like eight-year-old overly pampered brats?” Believe me, I know that it is annoying and would love to tell you that they are not like this most of the time. Sadly, I can’t really say that. When both of their avatars are present and one is not able to overwhelm the other, they equally weaken each other. Yet, that wouldn’t make them stupid or childish.’

‘Therefore, they are acting this way, to make me underestimate them, and believe me, it is quite hard no to do so, when they are doing it for years... Also, there is one more thing... they are supposedly mirroring my own subconscious opinion on them and changing their personalities, and even their forms to appeal to my own ideas. In other words, it is what my mind deep down thinks of them, and it is incredibly embarrassing to see... It’s most likely because my physical brain is still one of a child’s, even if it has an overwhelming quantity of information pumped into it. Biology is not that easily changed after all.’

‘These brats are millennium-old polarized manifestations of the same power. Even if they are acting like this. They are equipped with the power of my imagination and armed by my own subconscious interpretations and expectations of them. One is shady, conniving and rude on the surface, while deep down, truly terrifying. While the other is benevolent, sheltered, and slightly stupid with the warmth and love of a mother. Mirroring my own opinion of the majority of the jedi.’

“Puhahahahaa~!”

“What’s so funny? I didn’t read her thoughts now.” — She pouts.

‘Honestly, the only time they show their true face like this is when both of them are present. They immediately begin to bicker like children.’

‘It is an open secret that the force has a willful and unique personality. More like two opposing personalities in one body, I bet that you can already see where this went wrong.‘

“Stop laughing, you big meany!“

“Hahahaa…” — ‘The dark side avatar froze, its head snapping towards an unexpected direction. A crooked guileless smile of bloodlust quickly filling her expression and presence in the force. Breaking down any illusion of innocence and instead sending cold shivers down my spine.’ — “Oh, wait... now that’s interesting. I just sensed a presence. Someone very powerful in the dark side exited hyperspace near to this planet. A Sith, but I feel that he is not committed entirely. Not yet, anyway. A fallen Jedi, then, still holding back, gasping onto some vague illusion of control, but not quite as much as you do... yes... he is powerful.” — ‘An unnaturally wide grin stretched across her face as she focused those ominous golden eyes at me, her gaze filled with hunger and lust. Two emotions that felt exceedingly wrong on the form of a young girl, especially with my own appearance.’ — “He comes to destroy you.” — She purred, drinking in the reaction her words caused.

“What?!” — ‘I couldn’t help but shout in alarm.’

“Then, you have to run Nizzy. There will be another time to face such a foe! You are not prepared yet.“

“Oh, but she cannot run, there is a collar on her neck. If the queen dies, she will follow her soon enough. Only I can help you defeat him, if you give me a chance, let me help you, and I will destroy this enemy. Or you can die like your master did, alone, powerless, with many regrets.“

“Follow my guide, Nizzal the Grey. My light bringers will help you to escape this malicious trap. Trust in the light, and you will be saved.”

“I appreciate your offers. I will think about it later, but for now, could you tell me who this Sith is?”

“Let that be a surprise for the near fut-” — She was mercilessly interrupted.

“It’s Count Dooku. He will meet with the queen in the throne room soon.”

“Thanks.”

“You fool! You just had to ruin my surprise!”

“She probably doesn’t even know who this Count Dooku is.”

“Actually, I do. He is the fallen apprentice of Master Yoda, and one of the Separatist military leaders.”

“Oops, te-he?” — She clapped apologetically while tilting her head to the side.

“I hate you.” — She growled at her.

“You hate everybody. That is the only thing you are good at in the end, how boring.” — The older version chastised her, hands placed on her hips.

“I will show you boring.”

“Yes, you just did. Thanks?”

“Urgh... I will leave now...” — She seemed confused and embarrassed, then the dark side avatar dispersed in a sudden vortex of wind.

“Ehh? Did I say something rude? I didn’t want to... I will go and apologize immediately...”

“You probably shouldn’t...”

‘Eh, she just turned into hundreds of colorful butterflies and flew away towards the direction the other one left.’

“Sigh... Whatever, I should probably leave and try to save the queen some way, before she gets us killed... “

‘I slowly started the process of waking myself from deep meditation. In a few minutes, my senses were coming back to me. I finally opened my eyes, only to be met with a pair of blue orbs watching me curiously.’

“Morning, are you finished with your meditation? Because we need to go to meet your queen in half an hour, and you didn’t even eat yet. Also, I have a few questions about this etiquette thingy. I know that you have already told me the basics, but I can’t seem to remember when and how deep I need to bow... I am not really good with this slave stuff... It’s actually quite complicated...” — ‘As I listened to Ahsoka’s ramblings, my mind slowly cleared from the drowsiness, which was the aftereffect of forcefully exiting deep meditation. As the contents of my meditation flooded back into my conscious mind, I immediately jumped up from my sitting position, scaring Ahsoka in the process.’

“OH MY GOD! We have to figure something out. Dooku is here on the planet, and he definitely came here to kill me!”

‘Ahsoka’s eyes widened with fear.’

“Wh-wha-what are you talking about!? Is Dooku really here? How does he know about you? And how do you know that he is here?”

“No time for answers, I have to go and defend the queen, if she dies…” — ‘I gulped as fear gripped my insides.’ — “If she dies, I will die too!”

“I don’t even have a weapon!” — Ahsoka panicked. — “We can’t fight him head on. I heard it from master that he is really powerful!”

“Wait, you are right... But what can we do?! I can’t fight with a Sith Lord in my current body! I am way too weak as a child and I can’t run away. I am going to die after all this time!”

‘Ahsoka rolled her eyes, while I was starting to panic now.’

“Did you not know?” — ‘Asked Ahsoka reprimandingly. I turned towards her, waiting for her opinion. She smirked, then said.’ — “Size matters not.”

“What?” — ‘I asked, confused.’

“That is what Master Yoda would say.”

‘I blinked, then said.’

“He has the second largest midi-chlorian count in the current Jedi Order... Your master is the first... Of course, he would say that the damned hypocrite, but that is not true when you are average in that regard.”

‘I sighed, seeing the slightly betrayed expression on Ahsoka.’

“We should just go and ask for help from Master and Obi-Wan... Why do you want to do everything alone? Now move, change your clothes while I speak with SkyGuy and figure out some type of plan.”

‘She walked away to make the call while I blinked a few times, then I began to dutifully change into my handmaiden clothes... Since I didn’t have anything better at the moment.’