‘Since then, two weeks have passed by. I have indeed much to learn in the proper ways of being a handmaiden. The basics were very straightforward, and I would even say that it was easy.’
‘Helping the queen and following her like a silent shadow for the majority of the day wasn’t that challenging. Especially so, that she rarely left her palace, and even then a small battalion of guards and those strange assassin droids were escorting her.’
‘I quickly realized that me being a bodyguard was more of a prestige thing than my actual job. Of course, that fact wasn’t enough reason to let my guard down. After all, my life depended on it.’
‘But, back to my original thought, being the queen’s personal servant was mostly easy, yet as the saying goes, the devil is in the details. I had to learn a few hundred of those details to represent her Majesty properly as her handmaiden.’
‘The queen was not exactly a tolerant teacher, either. I have lost counts of how often were my palms flailed or how many hours did I spent kneeling in the corner without food. She has definitely realized that my palms were healing ridiculously fast for her to prefer that exact punishment. It could also be the fact that I hated it the most, and she was amused by the sight of fear on my face. She even made me stand by her bed an entire night once with a tray of refreshments. Only when I accidentally woke her falling asleep for a second and dropping the silverware on my feet after an extremely tiresome day did she relent and choose to drop that type of punishment all together.’
‘Of course, only after she slapped me for the first time. The sounds of clattering tray and silverware must have reminded her of some previous trauma, for her to react so harshly. I mean… the queen wasn’t completely against beating slaves, but she never did it with her own hands. Meaning she preferred to make us do it to ourselves, or use some medium like a stick.’
‘I will not sugarcoat the overall experience.’
‘It was infuriating. It managed to drive home her message. Meaning that I was alone in her world, nobody will come to my help, nobody will care if she humiliated me, punished me or even killed me. I was nothing more than a valuable accessory of her power. Pricy, but not irreplaceable. She was making me understand this, slowly but surely molding me into a shape that she preferred the most.’
‘Yet… the punishments were not the hardest to resist. Those were the praises. When I did well, she praised me with such genuine emotion that it made me question my entire look on the world. I initially thought the queen to be evil, but it was far from the truth. Of course, she was not right in the head, as in the way common people look and interact with the world. However, from her twisted sense of justice and perception. She was far from an evil person. This… controversy continued to confuse me to this day.’
‘The queen, in all her punishments and teasings, has never punished me just for the sake of punishment or for the joy of seeing me squirm. She never touched me inappropriately after the first time at the balcony, which she silently agreed to be an attempt to provoke me.’
‘Above all else, she was far from someone incapable of love. I have thought for a long time about her personality. In the end, I have come to the realization that the woman was akin to a perfectionist gardener. She loved her flowers from the depth of her heart, but only until those flowers blossomed in the exact way she wanted them to. Every unruly leaf, every unnecessary bud, had to be cut away and strictly regulated. Even if it caused the plant to die, eventually. Oh, and of course her flowers were slaves.’
‘And there was another harsh contradiction. Through these few weeks after I went through a few arguments with her. I have noticed a strange tendency. She intentionally created and sought out situations where people were forced to confront her or be publicly humiliated.’
‘The queen wanted to be challenged. She wanted people to argue with her, but at the same time she punished those who dared to oppose her with the slightest of gestures.’
‘I have told her more than a few things that should have resulted in my execution when she pushed my buttons just a bit too far and too quickly. Yet she would never even entertained the idea of any punishment that would leave a permanent mark on my body.’
‘All in all, she was a mystery to me.’
‘Anyway, I am going to summarize how my time passed in the palace.’
‘The first week had passed in a haze because Eqomu was constantly teaching me those exact minor details over ten hellish hours a day. Oh, Eqomu, as I later learned, is the name of the mirialan boy I first met when I woke up here. He has a unique personality for sure, but I am not one to talk in this regard. Maybe that is the reason why we so quickly became friends, but that doesn’t change the fact that I utterly hate his etiquette classes. No doubt he also hated me as his student, but that didn’t stand between our friendship, especially since we didn’t really have that many other options to make friends.’
‘You see, Eqomu was one of the queens favorite slaves, and I can say it certainly after these two weeks I spent with her, that she didn’t have many favored slaves, or individuals in general. To be more precise, there was Eqomu, and now me.’
‘Thanks to Eqomu’s explanations, I also found out that the other handmaidens were not slaves.’
‘They were the third or second daughters of wealthy Zygerrian families, and all of them took great offense because I, as a simple dirty slave, was elected to be their equal.’
‘Since the moment I met with them, they began to make fun of me and humiliate me in every imaginable way.’
‘Envy was certainly a great motivator, but fear was just as good. I figured after I had grown tired of their ridiculous acts of pettiness, like smearing honey on the inside of my clothes, especially my undergarments.’
‘In the end, I decided to send my regards.’
‘By placing them in a force choke for a few seconds. Nothing too serious. Since then, they haven’t even dared to look me in the eye and they try to run away every time they see me. Quite hilarious if you realize that we are often summoned to appear in the queen’s presence together. Seeing the way they squirmed around me was a small bit of payback, almost as sweet as the permanent scent of honey lingering around my clothes.’
‘There was only one negative effect to this, and that had only begun to affect me towards the end of the second week which I spent here.’
‘Namely, the palace’s rumor mill. Since the fact that I am a force wielder was a secret from most of the people. Only a few of the queen’s trusted advisers were privy to this information, and some also trusted slaves, and by that I mean Eqomu, and the palace cook, but that is a story for another time.’
‘Anyway, thanks to my previously mentioned actions. Where I lost my cool… It all happened after I pulled up my clothes coming out of a bath.’
‘I was still in my morning daze, and to my shame I didn’t realize in time that the inside of the clothes I pulled on were lubricated with fucking honey... Note to self: I have to remember to not use cuss words, because the queen will become agitated again from hearing them. Kneeling outside on the windy balcony all night was not fun. I thought I will freeze to death at one point. Where was I, again? Oh, yes.’
‘So, in my rightfully enraged state, after being forced to bathe again and thanks to that, receive a scolding and a punishment from the queen for my tardiness. I proceeded to place each of the handmaids’ into a force choke while telling them that if they ever get near my clothes again, I will skin them alive and lubricate the inside of their skin with honey only to attach it back to their bodies with a stapler.’
‘Yes… well, I think that spending two weeks in this place had left a certain mark on my mental state after all. I will admit that I vented most of my frustration, accumulated from being the queen’s new favorite on those poor bastards. Not that they didn’t deserve it, but I might have overdone it with the stapler part. Recalling the vivid terror in their eyes actually made me feel bad for a fraction of a second. Then the scent of lingering honey on my clothes reached my nostrils.’
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‘I mean… I was clearly exaggerating things. I thought that nobody would take such a ridiculous threat seriously, right? It turns out they would. Since the incident, I was left alone, given a wide berth everywhere I went. Nobody dared to threaten my peace again, and the emphasis was on the “nobody” here.’
‘It turned out that those women were not as simple as I initially thought. Threatening them head on might have worked for a few days, but beyond that they were already starting to sew their little plans against me. They were far pettier and arrogant to simply let me be. They changed tactics and instead of confronting me head on now, they decided to try to isolate me in the palace.’
‘To be fair… they have done a marvelous job on that note. If I was a normal girl of my age stuck in such pitiful circumstances, this would have definitely turned me into a sobbing mess. It’s likely that I would have ended up at their feet pleading for mercy by now.’
‘Unfortunately for them, I was as far from being a normal girl as one could be. If I truly desired company, I could simply delve into my mind through meditation and commune with the spirits of old masters, sharing the rent of this body with me. It was a pity that most of them were sarcastic bastards that would undoubtedly mock me out of my skin if I did so.’
‘Not that I couldn’t handle being alone.’
‘Anyway, it was clearly a last ditch effort from the handmaidens to frustrate me and gain back some face. It was fine with me. If they didn’t sabotage my life directly, I had no reason to attack them either. I mean, teach them a lesson, since that would make their accusations valid and everyone would ignore me and I would get punished. This was clearly a bait set by them, and I won’t walk into it. Yet it still frustrated me somewhat. This was the reason that led me to come to the only two people I was confident to share my plight with, in the hopes of some form of constructive advice.’
‘The three of us were in Hava’s room, because her furnitures were the largest and they could easily accommodate all of us. She is the lead chef of the palace, and my second friend here, oh, by the way, she is a besalisk with the astounding height of two meters and ten centimeters. She also had four arms, clearly part of the reason she excelled in the kitchen so much. I sighed as I finished sharing my current problem.’
“So that is why everybody in the palace, except you, thinks that I am a crazy witch, and nobody wants to speak with me anymore...” — ‘I stated with a sigh finishing my explanation.’
‘The result of sharing my troubles was underwhelming. If I wanted to be entirely honest, I didn’t know what else I expected... I watched with hollow eyes as my two friends were crying their eyes out from uncontrollable laughter.’
‘Equ was the first one that managed to gain back some measure of control over his laughter, but not for long.’
“You... you are incredible... so that is why all of them looked like they had been forced to eat live frogs throughout the last two weeks. I thought the queen punished them for something, but it turns out it was you! To be threatened by a mere slave as prominent members of the aristocracy. I am not surprised that the true reason for their actions against you was pushed under the rug. It would shame them publically if it ever came to light.” — ‘Equ stated, trying to subdue his bubbling laughter.’
‘I stared at Ava with dull eyes, who was still laughing openly. At last my patience has run thin.’
“Ava, stop laughing already, it isn’t that funny!” — ‘I shouted at the giant woman.’
“Ha-h-h! That is where you are wrong, little mouse. It is absolutely hilarious.” — ‘The woman shouted back, drying tears of joviality from the corners of her eyes.’
‘I frowned at the woman, she new damn well how I hated that particular nickname which the queen gave me.‘
‘To top it off, she attempted to pull my leks playfully, as she liked to do, but I dodged it. Already growing a sixth sense of sorts, to notice her intention and slight change of body language. It wasn’t easy. She still gets me sometimes, as I used to forget that she had two more arms. She is surprisingly sneaky for her size.’
‘I looked up from my daydreaming as she continued her sentence after a healthy break to laugh more at my childish pouting.’
“Don’t worry, Nizzy, the others are also laughing their guts out behind those stupid handmaidens’ back. The reason they don’t talk to you is only because they are afraid of them. They are not slaves like us, you know? Their influence can reach far in this palace, and their bullying is known to many of us. Also, not everyone of us is the queen’s new favorite pet, like you, little mouse.”
“But I...”
“Don’t even try to deny it. The queen likes you. I am not accusing you for it. Any of us would have done the same. I am just pointing out that you have played your cards well. It is not simply the fact that you can use the force. It has just as many things to do with your quick wit and courage to question her.”
“Well, thanks I guess. I simply wanted to have a more comfortable life and avoid any type of unnecessary suffering while I am at it.” — ‘I said in a subdued voice, admitting something that was so material felt a bit wrong. Yet I did not need to fake my feelings in front of these two, so I did it anyway.’
“Aren’t we all like that? Hmm?” — ‘Ava added teasingly. Managing to sneak pull my left lek.’
“Oh, by the way, how is it that you guys are still talking to me?” — ‘I asked, suddenly interested, after sending a glare at the besalisk.’ — “I mean, in Equ’s case, it is probably because everyone is already hating his guts... so that is that…”
“Hey!” — ‘The mirialan shouted in the background, just registering that he was casually insulted.’
“But what is the situation with you, Ava?” — ‘I continued my question, ignoring the boy.’
“I have other friends too, like the fishes in the garden’s lake, her majesties’ birds...” — ‘The young boy started to count all his supposed friends on his fingers while Ava and me continued our talk.’
“Well, you see, I am in a special position.” — ‘The large woman admitted with a wink.’ — “In a position where nobody can really threaten me except the lords and the queen herself.”
“I have at least three loth-cats, and there was that stray dog three weeks ago. I gave it a little food.” — ‘Equ continued tirelessly.’
“And why is that?” — ‘I asked from Ava, as she picked me curiosity.’
“There was also that strange big flying bug with six wings, it was bigger than a bird... Are, are you ignoring me?” — ‘Equ finally seemed to realize what was going on.’
“Simply put, everybody who knows what is good for them will not fuck with the people who make their food every single day.”
“Stop ignoring me!” — ‘The boy was throwing a tantrum in the background.’
“Now I see. That makes sense.” — ‘I nodded to myself, listening to Ava’s words.’
“I will make your next handmaiden lesson into a living hell!” — ‘Equ shouted, in an enraged voice that sent cold shivers down my back.’
‘I immediately raised my arms, conceding as I stuttered out a few words.’
“E-Equ... don’t do that... I was just kidding, because you laughed at me so rudely for almost ten damn minutes... If you won’t do that, I will forget about your laughing...”
“Hmm... okay.” — ‘The boy said, happy to not be ignored.’
“Thanks...” — ‘I added, a bit surprised of how easily he accepted my offer.’
“Nizzy, I have also something to add to the topic you guys were speaking about.” — ‘The boy said, and I was a bit surprised that he actually paid attention to what we talked about while being so occupied with his own strife. Then I shook my head, reminding myself that the boy was not as simple as he seemed. There was undoubtedly a reason why he became one of the queen’s favorite.’
“Then share it with us, Equ.”
“It is clear that the biggest reason why the others are ignoring you is connected to your supposed witch powers.”
“Don’t start with that, you guys know that I am not a witch...”
“Oh yes, my dear.” — ‘Said Ava’ — “But the others don’t.”
“Urgh...”
“There is one more important factor that you have completely ignored.” — ‘Equ added.’
“Which is?” — ‘I asked back, a bit annoyed by his stranding.’
“You have broken the natural order of the palace. It never really happened in our lifetime that a slave appeared suddenly and basically skipped the whole power game, rising instantly to one of the top and most envied positions of power among slaves. Although you are not the first or the last handmaiden who was chosen among the slaves, but the abruptness of how it happened was very different from normal.” — ‘The boy explained slowly.’
“You are right about that. Thanks for sharing your opinion. It was quite eye-opening.”
‘I honestly praised Equ, who was clearly happy with my open recognition. He immediately began to tell us a more detailed version of the current power games inside the palace. Completely missing the fact that we didn’t really care about that.’
‘I sneaked a knowing glance towards Ava, and our eyes met halfway. Both of us sighed with weariness. Yes, that was just your normal Equ. The sixteen-year-old mirialan boy was far above average in intelligence. Yet it was bound to make him socially inapt. Especially in a strict environment lacking any source of creativity, like this one was. Since the things he was interested in were completely different than his age-groups, he was quickly deemed strange and ironically stupid by his peers.’
‘Therefore, we and by that I mean Ava and me, decided to try to teach some level of emotional intelligence to the boy. It was funny, as he had already learned every small detail of the proper body language for certain things. Yet, and I don’t really know how that could have happened, but he was completely unable to read those exact things on others. He has a long way to go... for sure.’