‘Not long after, I managed to climb into the Ebon Hawk through an emergency trapdoor on its upper part.’
‘I was carefully climbing down on the ladder placed into the small vertical entrance area. When I was about halfway to the floor. I sensed the ship beginning its rapid acceleration. I had to hold on to the ladder with all my strength to not tumble down in the narrow tunnel.’
‘It was a scary situation.’
“What the hell? At least wait until I have the chance to sit down!” — ‘I complained.’
‘As the acceleration stabilized to a constant speed, I was finally allowed to take a breather and climb down to the floor level. I looked around in the familiar corridor. It was empty. Therefore, I decided to head towards the bridge. The ship itself was not that big, so after a few turns, I reached the ship’s bridge. The doors opened in front of me automatically, taking me by surprise. As soon as I glanced into the room, I instinctively froze.’
“Not you...” — ‘I squeezed out those disgusted words in utter disbelief...’
‘I saw a familiar copper-colored droid sitting in the driving seat, controlling the ship in a relaxed manner. The sight destroyed the last of the fickle hope that the droid was by some miracle indeed destroyed by Obi-Wan, back on the prisoner transport ship.’
‘The current reality spread out in front of me, however, was much more cruel than I could ever expect. There was not one, but three damn droids. They practically looked the same way. I can only hope that their personalities at least differ somewhat. Otherwise, I might be tempted to return to the jedi.’
‘Fate was a cruel mistress, unfortunately.”
“(Observation, statement:) The meat bag has arrived at the bridge.”
‘Stated one of the HK droids standing close to the door, now I managed to notice a few color-based differences. These two droids had a few distinct black marks painted on them. They were republican military signs and codes, most likely used to disguise them.’
“(Sarcastic statement:) Ah, what a relief to have you back on the ship, mistress. My circuits are tingling from sheer excitement.”
‘I looked at the stupid scrap pile sitting in front of the control panel... It was so infuriating... It didn’t even bother to look up from the consoles.’
‘Not even saying that the damn thing seemingly didn’t give a fuck about its own programming... Stating sarcastic statement before telling me your heartfelt welcome, oh a real charmer this one is... Yet, I had to swallow it since there was no chance I would start a fight with three of these idiots at the same time...’
‘Not in such a narrow place, at least.’
“Sigh...”
‘I already felt drained from the short interactions...’
‘I walked between the two slightly different HK models with the disguising paint and sat down next to the one with the original colors. I used the seat belts to fix myself in place. After that I relaxed my body somewhat and asked.’
“So... where are we going now?”
“(Simplified statement:) We are not going anywhere. An HK-46 unit was entrusted to jam their communication signal, but it must have been repaired by now, as it was eliminated approximately five minutes prior.”
“Then why are we heading towards outer space currently?”
“(Lecturing statement:) We are purposefully confusing our enemies’ scanners in an attempt of misdirection.”
“How?”
“(Oversimplified, describing statement) Soon I will activate the newly equipped stealth generator and we will turn around and go back to the surface. Leaving the atmospheric border will cause a clutter in enemy scanners. I will use this short time to activate stealth mode and go back to the planet. It is too risky for us to try to leave when all of their space stations are actively searching for us. Also, they would never expect us to hide on Coruscant when they issue a galaxy-wide warrant to capture you, mistress.”
“That is, well, it’s not a bad idea. Actually, it is a surprisingly good plan. So where are you taking me, I mean, more specifically.”
“(Happy statement:) We are going to stay at the Coruscant Five Star Incognito hotel. I have reserved a living quarter for your explicit use.”
“... You are taking me to a sex hotel? I guess I shouldn’t even be surprised by this, not anymore...”
“(Explicative statement:) My algorithm suggests that the probability of running into a jedi in one of Coruscant’s luxury red-light districts is about 0.00001 percent.”
“Sigh... You know what, I will be back in my room... call me when we arrive. I need to rest my mind a bit...”
‘Realizing that we would not leave the atmosphere, I hastily unstrapped myself from the seat belts, climbed out of the seat, and, without uttering another word, left the bridge. This whole plan was hilarious, so hilarious, in fact, that it will probably work. I reached the room that was basically my room, since I put all my stuff into it when we left Hoth. I opened the door with a bored expression. The door slid apart, and I stepped inside the room, deep in my thoughts.’
“Who are you!?”
‘Someone shouted at me suddenly. I froze for the third time today and looked up with growing confusion and surprise.’
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“Whose kid is this? Is it one of yours, Rark?”
“I am not sure. I had been with a few twi’leks. It could be...”
‘I was shocked. There was no way to hide this fact. There is a human woman in my bed passionately hugging an also human male. Both of them were dressed in nightclothes while watching my custom ordered 3D, color holoprojector...’
’I just stood there with an open mouth and a shocked expression. The woman stood up and walked in front of me, showing off a comforting sweet smile. It was way too sweet, if you ask me, dangerously so...’
“Now, who is this little cutie? Hmm? Well, from this distance I could already say that it is not your kid Rark...”
“Why so sure?”
“Because she is actually cute.”
“And why would a man like me want to be cute? You are talking gibberish again... But I will acknowledge the fact that she is easy on the eyes, oh, except those sickening yellow eyes, and she is kind of pale for a twi’lek...”
“You are right, and she seems to be a bit soft in the head too... What is with that stupid expression? Hmmm? Did the loth-cats steal your tongue?”
‘The woman grabbed me by my arm and pulled me over to the bed. Then she proceeded to pat my head, clearly trying to reassure me somewhat. It only confused me even more... My brain could not create an acceptable reason for these two people to be in my room right now... And they were acting as if they lived here since the fucking Big Bang. I looked at their night robes with a half-functioning mind... No, not that kind of “big bang”… fuck it. I cannot unsee this now!’
“Well, she seems kind of shocked.”
‘Said the man after taking in my expression. He was still sitting on the other side of the bed next to this strange woman...’
“Let her cool down, then we will talk, but for now it is time to change this fucking channel! I ain’t watching this romantic shit any longer. I didn’t rent out one of the hotel incognito ships for an entire afternoon just to watch bad dramas!”
“What, no way! Give me back the controller, you deep shit!”
“No! I watched your drama shows for over half of this morning. It is time for a good old-fashioned pod-racing match!”
“Eh, fine, but you should wait until this episode ends. Alehandro was about to ask Rose out...”
“He will fuck her, alright, you know it already!”
“Fuck off, you fucking-fucker deep shit, there is a kid over here, so better watch your shit-ass language! Do you understand?”
“...”
“...”
‘Me and the man called Rark shared a silent look, before he burst out in laughter saying.’
“You are unbelievable...”
‘While the woman was distracted by our antics, the guy managed to change the channel to the intergalactic pod-racing sport channel.’
“I win, bitch.”
“What did you call me?”
“I called you my love, bitch.”
‘The woman decided to box into the side of the man. It was a pretty powerful hit as the guy grunted soundly after tanking it.’
‘Someone forgot that he doesn’t wear his armor right now... Where is your mandalorian steel heh? Oh, gonna cry now?’
‘The man grunted out loud.’
“Now, move your ass away. You are blocking my view. And don’t forget the fact that you don’t wear your armor either. Idiot.”
“Was that supposed to be a threat?”
‘That was the moment I decided to finally interrupt this ever more frustrating argument.’
“Do you mind, if I ask, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU FUCKING MANDALORIANS DOING IN MY PERSONAL ROOM!?”
‘Both of them looked at me with a bewildered expression.’
‘The man began to clear his right ear with disdain, evidently annoyed with my sudden shout, while noting halfheartedly.’
“Oh, it seems she can speak fine, and also, she seems to be your child, not mine. I can’t believe there is another female with the scream of a charging taun taun horde. It can’t be a simple coincidence.”
“What?” — ‘I asked bewildered.’
“WHAT?” — ‘The woman screamed enraged.’
‘We spoke up at the same time, and turned to stare at each other at the same time, too.’
‘Causing the man to snort in amusement.’
“By the way, who are you, little girl? Are you a waitress or something? Aren’t you a bit young to work for a shady place like this?”
‘Asked the man again.’
“What do you mean? This is my fucking ship! Why am I the one who is being questioned to be here?”
“Well, even if this is your ship, and that is a fact that I highly doubt to be true, we are currently paying to use this room, so next time you should be more polite, knock on the door before you enter or something.”
‘Advised the man, then he turned towards the holoprojector, completely ignoring any further communication.’
“Wh-what? Who are you paying to? And this is MY room! Why should I knock on my OWN door!?”
‘I was pulled to the door by my arms as the woman patted my head and told me to speak with my droid about my own business matters. Then she shut the door in my face, and after half a minute of standing outside of my own fucking room in an utterly shocked state. I slowly began to walk back towards the bridge... my steps soon quickened to a march, then I began to run, blinded by my own still growing fury.’
‘Someone is going to die here. I am going to teach a lesson to that fucking piece of shit, even if I die in the process.’
‘With that in mind, I stormed into the control room, as the doors split apart, just like before. I was ready to scream and potentially cut their heads off.’
‘Unfortunately, my words were forcefully stopped by two energy beams heading towards my chest.’
“FUCK!” — ‘I immediately activated my lightsaber and blocked one of the shots. Yet the other one hit me right in the middle of my chest.’
‘I didn’t wear my armor, since I just escaped from a prison ship.’
‘I dropped on the floor like a dry fig.’
‘For the following minutes, my consciousness felt distant... My senses mushy, the pain was still intensely running through my body.’
‘My slowly returning vision was pulsing with white pain.’
‘My hearing was somewhat better, but it was also screwed up, as if I tried listening to people speaking from behind a wall. What I actually heard were only parts of the entire conversation.’
“She got hit... that?”
“(Statement) Indeed, Master, her overconfidence is... troublesome. She is also overdependent on pure force abilities... weakness... easily enraged.”
“The first trial was finished... I promised to Joseph... proceed with the second one. We must temper her temper before... I have the right idea for... second trial ...heed my words...”
“(Excited...) That is ingenious... I will follow your orders... master.”
“Do so. Now I must leave... before...”
‘My consciousness slipped away at that time for an uncertain amount of time. The next thing I remember was a sense of movement and stiff arms that were holding me and bringing me somewhere... I also heard a few words, this time much clearer.’
“(Observation:) She is about to wake.”
“(Order:) Shoot her again with the paralyzing beam.”
“Oh, no... no need to...” — ‘I tried to dully struggle out of the metal arms’ grasp, before another wave of jolting pain run through me. I screamed.’
‘Everything turned black again as I fell into the welcoming abyss.’