‘While I was desperately channeling the force in an attempt to mend some of my injuries, I was roughly shaken by somebody in a similarly desperate attempt to wake me from my healing meditation.’
“-der!… -mander!… commander! Do you hear me?”
‘Alas, only after I finished stopping my life-threatening internal bleeding. Could I slowly allow myself the luxury to slip back to the level of general consciousness.’
‘I felt as a large hand grabbed me and carefully freed me from the pile of wreckage that I was buried under.’
‘I was still extremely confused and couldn’t even attempt to stand up on my own.’
‘This is why you are supposed to wear damn armor. Without it, I would have been impaled by the hundreds of broken metal fragments released by that explosion.’
‘This didn’t change the fact that my small body was easily swept away by the sheer force of the blast wave. But at least I am not dead, not yet anyway. I was shaken by my shoulders forcefully. No doubt, in an attempt to gain my wandering attention.’
‘I finally looked around with my suddenly drowsy eyes, too much force channelling again, I guess.’
‘When I looked up, I realized that Watcher was the one who tried to wake me up, constantly shaking my shoulders.’
‘His armor was blackened and parts of it were completely missing or in the middle of crumbling away. I must say, the clone commando suits are fucking overpowered. It must be because of the internal life support devices that are built into it.’
‘With a considerable amount of effort and constant channeling of the force, I quite literally forced myself to stand with the assistance of Watcher. My knees were buckling here and there, but I somehow managed to stand, mostly on my own. I looked around quickly, analysing the situation. There were flames, dead and injured clones left and right... I stated a few dry words, as my breathing started to stabilize.’
“Cough, cough... report trooper...”
“Yes, commander. The LAAT-was heavily damaged, and it landed in front of us to provide some measure of cover for the retreat. Brain, Stinger and Handy are mostly fine. They are currently forcing back the commando droids, which have started a surprise attack after that damn droid blowed up our central lines of defence.”
“How is it that you guys weren’t blown away like me?” — ‘I asked, as the question was constantly reappearing in my confused mind.’
“Our armors are designed with electromagnetic boots, sir. If we activate it, we can even fight while standing on the ceiling turned upside down.”
“That’s, wow, that is just fricking cool.” — ‘I will get my hands on one if we survive this. I promised to myself, then continued with the questions.’
“Are we retreating now or what, and where is Ahsoka? Is she alright?”
“Yes, commander Tano is covering the retreat. She sent me to look for you. Luckily, she was not present at the moment of the explosion. General Kenobi sent his clone commander, Cody, and a bunch of boys from the 212th Attack Battalion. She was meeting with them at the time.”
‘Well, thank the force for small mercies... If she were there in her current “armor”... Well, let’s not think about that for now.’
‘I looked at Watcher, seeing the level of damage on his armor, and asked, while constantly moving away from the closing droids.’
“What are our losses?”
“In the last few minutes, we verified the loss of seven troopers from the 501st, and nine from the 212th. In the meantime, further droid reinforcements have arrived. Targetman suit was not functioning properly, and he stood closest to the epicentre of the explosion… The bastard always wanted to go out with a big bang. We lost Ice too. He got blown away by the explosion and broke his neck and spine. Dozer is missing. We don’t know if he is dead or just unconscious. Crusher saw him trying to reload his grenade launcher after he gave him some of his. He didn’t react to your warning in time, and got blown away by the blast waves.”
‘I nodded to him, acknowledging what he had said.’
‘Yep, now the situation starts to resemble a real war.’
‘A sudden warning flared up in the force. I instinctively pushed Watcher away from me with a weak force push. There were a few red lasers hitting the place where he stood half a second ago. I tried to run away in the opposite direction, only to stumble and fall flat on the ground as the nausea and weakness overwhelmed me.’
‘I shouldn’t have used the force like that, not in my current state, but then Watcher would be dead, and I would most likely follow him soon...’
‘I always forgot that this body is not capable of constantly channelling such levels of force powers, especially with my high precision...’
‘I struggled to move, but my body was exhausted and shocked from internal and external injuries. I heard Watcher shout at me to run, but I couldn’t.’
‘There were two commando droids right behind me. One was fighting with Watcher, while the other stood over me, aiming its gun towards my head.’
‘I gulped instinctively. Am I really going to die in such a stupid and pathetic way?’
‘I was looking into the droid’s lifeless, mechanical eyes. They didn’t know pity or mercy, if not ordered to do so. I felt as a few drops of sweat were sliding down my face. It was kind of bad to admit this, but for all of my knowledge, at that moment, I felt like the real age of my body.’
‘I was simply genuinely and utterly scared of death.’
‘I know that I will die, one time, somewhere in the future. I know of this, of course, but it was always somewhere in the future. Which means not now.’
‘I didn’t even think about the possibility of dying a few weeks later after I left Hoth. My whole force’s elongated lifespan was measured in hundreds of years... But, only if I am able to stay alive.’
‘As the adrenalin kicked in, I watched in slow motion as the droid began to pull the trigger on the blaster. Everything seemed to slow down, almost stopping entirely.’
‘I knew that this was my only chance. I stopped thinking and let the years of experiences, feelings, and instincts speak for themselves. At that moment, I felt all of my masters’ knowledge became, for the first time, truly mine. The gates that separated them from my personality disappeared, if only for a few seconds.’
‘My perception of the world has hastened to its normal speed. I felt an incredibly cold rage seep into my body. I was subconsciously channelling the feelings of suffering, pain, and death that were slowly engulfing the surrounding hangar. All of this was channelled into a dark-side empowered force scream aimed at the droid in front of me.’
‘The chilling sound-wave that was resembling the death cry of a dying animal collided with the commando droid immediately beginning to corrode its metal frame.’
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‘Then it shattered into hundreds of small pieces that were blown across the hall like small high-speed projectiles hitting a few more droids, also corroding and shattering them on the way.’
‘Effectively breaking them into small particles of red rust that fell on the floor in small piles.’
‘I continued to siphon up the negative energies, creating an invisible whirlwind around me that was constantly feeding on emotions and pain. It was a source of energy that could keep me going for a while, at least until I leave the battlefield, when there won’t be this much suffering to feed on, the technique will have to be stopped by then, since it will use up more power than what I gained by using it.’
‘I stood up shakily, but the shaking quickly subsided. I was feeling better with every passing second, thanks to the technique.’
‘Watcher managed to destroy the other droid with the help of two other clones, who I didn’t know. They were not commandos, and not from my squad. They had some orange-colored signs on their otherwise white armor, like most of the clones serving on the ship.’
‘Watcher shouted to the other clones to escort me back into the inside of the ship, since I was heavily injured. They nodded, one of them even lending me a shoulder to lean on. While the other was following us closely, ready for an enemy attack. Watcher had most likely gone back to report and help the others in the retreating process.’
‘We successfully left the hangar not long after I stopped my dark side siphon, as there was not enough emotion or pain here to feed on anymore.’
‘As the stable supply of dark side energy stopped, I felt my body grow heavier with every step.’
‘My weakened and injured body began to forcefully tremble. My mind wandering off, lost in old memories.’
‘Memories from old lectures began to seep into my present flow of thoughts. I didn’t even know who I was in the memory anymore. My sense of self felt distorted. It was not my memory, yet it also was in a twisted way.’
‘Through the fog, I heard the silky voice of an old woman repeating a lecture. Her voice sounded crystal clear, ringing through the chaos of my confused mind.’
“The dark side is not capable of true healing... It is only a perversion of it. When you stop feeding its endless hunger, you will find yourself emptier than ever before...”
‘I was close to lose consciousness as even the normal adrenalin was now slowly leaving my bloodstream as the immediate and visible danger was gone.’
‘That was the moment I heard a familiar sound, a very familiar sound, that usually filled me with a sense of confidence and comfort. Unfortunately, it was different now… This time it reminded me of the threat of a hissing-poisonous snake and I was run over with goose bumps.’
‘Yes, a lightsaber was ignited behind us. And before that thought could properly solidify in my mind, a heavy body crumbled behind us.’
‘A cold shiver run over my back.’
‘Oh no... please no, no, not now... please... I plead in my mind as the clone trooper beside me turned around partially. Only to be raised off the ground with an invisible force threatening to break his neck.’
‘Realizing this, he had the presence to pull out a side arm and shot at the attacker, but the laser was deflected back into his face.’
‘From this short distance, the normal, much thinner, clone armor was basically useless. His arms and legs fell limp, then his body was dropped to the ground beside me.’
‘The moment the trooper was raised off the ground, I simultaneously lost my sole support and collapsed on the floor.’
‘I stared up stupidly at the venomous looking female with two activated red lightsabres carelessly walking towards me in the empty corridor.’
‘I tried to feed on the dark side for one more time, but there were not enough lingering dark side energies in this corridor. The battle didn’t reach this point yet except for the two dead soldiers, but they didn’t really have time to suffer and leave behind powerful emotions or pain.’
‘It’s not that I would like them to suffer, but the dark side simply works this way... Except, that it won’t work right now. I couldn’t use the light side anymore in my current state. So should I fight with my lightsaber? One of my shoulders was dislocated, and I can’t even stand on my own. So lightsaber combat is out of the question, but maybe she didn’t know that?’
‘I reached towards my lightsabre’s hilt. As expected, the woman used the force to pull my blade towards herself, while she was forced to deactivate one of her blades to catch mine. Without hesitation, I continued the movement with my right arm, and with a sharp gesture, I pulled out my blaster pistol that was just like my saber hilt hanging from my waist and shot precisely at her smirking face.’
‘I sensed her surprise, but it was short-lived, as she elegantly sidestepped right inside my reach and forced the gun out of my weakened grasp.’
‘She grabbed my left lekku at its root with a force that no lekku should ever be grasped with, and began to pull me up from the ground. My eyes bulged from the overwhelmingly painful sensation as I yelped and trashed against her grasp.’
‘I was forced to crawl off the ground, to lessen the pain. I tried to push her away simultaneously, to escape from her grasp. It was futile. I could see it, that she was drinking up my pain and suffering, as if it was the sweetest nectar to be found in the entire universe. As I realized this, I forced myself to stop my useless struggle. I didn’t want to accept this, but in this state, I couldn’t run away or fight with this witch. Without my force powers, which I have overused beyond their limits, I was little more than a thirteen-year-old girl.’
‘She frowned as she realized that I suddenly composed myself, well, as much as you possibly can when you are in the hands of a clearly sadistic, child-abusing, serial killer.’
‘I was also feeling the pressure growing on my lekku, as my body was still partially hanged on it. She looked at me, taking in my form, with the uncanny elegance of a loth cat playing with its newly captured pray.’
‘Then she grabbed my heavily damaged helmet and, with one quick move, she ripped it off my face. It broke into a few different parts clattering across the floor.’
‘I winced from the pain as tears began to appear in the corners of my eyes. Ripping off the partially broken and deformed helmet like that has left long bloody scratches across my face and head. I could feel my blood leaking from those injuries...’
‘This fucking bitch was deliberately torturing me this way, and she was enjoying it. A twi’leks pride was in his or her leks. It was beyond humiliating to be treated like this…’
‘I didn’t scream, though. Instead, I bit into my lips to swallow back that cry of pain.’
‘She seemed clearly disappointed by that.’
‘On the other hand, this pain and humiliation was very useful right now.’
‘I purposely let myself drown in my pain. I forced myself to relive the memory again and again and again. Then I channelled it into a powerful, vivid flow of hate as I suddenly reached out my injured left arm, deliberately causing even more pain to myself.’
‘With the desperate move, I managed to hit this bitch in the stomach. Since that was the closest important body part I could reach. With the hit, I simultaneously released a burst of lightning into her system, letting out all of my hatred and pain right into her very guts.’
‘It was not as powerful as I would like to think, but it still made her scream like an exorcised banshee, which she might as well be.’
‘I smiled wickedly, enjoying her shocked screams. While consuming her pain, I also added a weak life siphon that was concealed by the lightning strike. She shouldn’t realize this not for a while and in the meantime I will heal from her stolen life essence, while she will grow weaker… That is… if she makes the stupid mistake of not killing me off right after this…’
‘My moment of satisfaction was short-lived. And my smile contorted into a twisted expression as I joined her in the screaming.’
‘Oh yes… I forgot that she was holding me by my lekku, meaning, I got electrocuted by my own fucking lightning…’
‘After a few seconds of screaming, I was uncharacteristically let go, and like a marionette whose strings were cut I dropped on my back, hitting the back of my head in the metal floor. My vision immediately doubled and an even stronger sense of nausea came over me.’
‘I laid there, unmoving, watching the blurry sight of smoke billowing from both of our bodies. My muscles were constantly convulsing still under the effect of the lightning.’
‘The woman also fell, if only on her knees. She was breathing heavily while staring at me with the promise of suffering. I glanced into her eyes, seeing the barely contained rage, a sense of fear crawled into my mind, but I couldn’t even lift a finger anymore… therefore… I simply laid there accepting what was to come.’
‘She suddenly jumped on me, pinning down my arms with her knees, a completely unnecessary move, but she wasn’t playing with me anymore. She sat on my chest, pushing the air out of my lungs with her weight. Then she grabbed onto my face and forced my eyes wide open with her fingers.’
‘She stared into my eyes, with the grin of a madwoman... Now I could see her face under that black hood too...’
‘She was a Dathomirian.’
‘She leaned into my face as my consciousness was about to leave me from the pain, exhaustion, accumulated injuries, but the main reason was still this woman sitting on my chest and slowly suffocating me... My body was about half the size of her body, come on, let me breathe!’
‘Instead, she licked the side of her lips, satisfied with the sight of my broken form and lack of struggle. Then hissed into my left ear protrusion...’
“I like your eyes... they have a delicate yellow color. My master is interested in those eyes of yours. It’s a pity that I can’t play with you any longer. Those shadows that were tailing you seem to have caught onto my little distraction. Now why don’t you be a good girl and take an early nap? Rest assured, I will take good care of you in the meantime.”
‘The last thing I saw was the sadistic smirk spreading across this unfamiliar woman’s face.’