‘As my consciousness came back to my body, after a long sleep, I felt much better. Thanks to my force healing, almost every bit of weakness and discomfort left my body overnight.’

‘I would even feel energetic if the gnawing hunger that forcefully woke me before the first sunlight appeared on the horizon wasn’t painfully distracting me.’

‘I looked around the room, only to realize that I was still in the queen’s quarters. Uhm... did I fall asleep in the middle of her monologue? I sweat dropped.’

‘I don’t even need the mirialan boy to tell me that this probably counts as a dreadful mistake, or more like a direct imperial insult. It’s better if I don’t mention it to him, if he doesn’t know already... Come to think of it, where is the queen?’

‘And what was the queen’s name, again, Miroj? No... Mira, too short... it was longer Mire-Mirak-Mirej wait, I got this, Miraj! Yeah, that was it, but I won’t even try her other name. After all, slaves don’t need last names, right? Nor do ultimate pricks like her…’

‘The boiling anger I felt towards the bitchy woman somewhat stabilized over the night, but it was still very much present. Only that it morphed into a cold fury instead of one ready to overwhelm me at any moment.’

‘How dare this bitch tie her life to mine! With this disgusting collar!’

‘As I thought about the deadly collar placed around my neck, I felt a suffocating sensation. I pulled against the metal surface of the collar only to have my hand jolted by electricity.’

‘With a surprised yelp I reflexively let go of the collar and started to massage the numbness in my hand’

‘Great… I can’t even touch the damn thing…’

‘I bet there are attempts on the queen’s life on a daily occasion… She would have made more enemies than the sith empire with this attitude of hers.’

‘I stood up and walked around the room a bit, only to find a fruit bowl, with a large quantity of fresh fruits.’

‘I picked up an apple, one orange, and to appease my curiosity, something that I had not have the slightest idea what it actually was, or how I was supposed to eat it.’

‘While I walked around the room carefully, to not bump into anything, I also realized that the queen was actually sleeping in her bed.’

‘That was fine with me since I was currently much more interested in appeasing my appetite. Also, I had too many things to think over, to care about her right now.’

‘She can sleep all she wants, also the assassin droids were still in the room, so I thought it wiser to not go near her bed while she was asleep. Since I wasn’t keen to add one more royal insult to the list of the already existing ones, just like “waking the queen by loudly munching fruits in the early hours of dawn,” oh, that would be an immediate death sentence for sure.’

‘I decided to step out onto the balcony with the intention of eating there. The first second I stepped out, one of the bodyguard droids scanned over my entire body with a blue light, which made me a bit jumpy. I almost dropped the apple. Thankfully, after it finished its scan, it immediately proceeded to continue its monotone patrol, essentially ignoring me.’

‘The wind was blowing furiously at this early hours of dawn. It must be some local phenomenon natural to this planet. Since there were no visible storm clouds anywhere, only the starry sky, with a touch of blue and a few slowly appearing orange and red colors beginning to rise on the horizon.’

‘I leaned on the railing gulping down the last bits of the apple I brought, lazily throwing its inedible core off the balcony. An icy shiver prickled my skin as the biting, chilly wind blows through my silken clothes without their outer layer.’

‘I will catch a cold, if I don’t do something about this... I looked around the balcony, and almost immediately spotted my outer robe that I placed down on a chair yesterday. Miraculously, it wasn’t blown away by the strong wind. Its edges were catching onto that chair for dear life.’

‘Oh, thank the force for small mercies. I immediately run over and pulled the cloak over my head, letting it naturally fall down and cover my freezing body. What a delight that was. This cloak was clearly created to block the harsh cold wind of this planet. While the other garments had more of an aesthetic purpose, they didn’t protect me from the wind at all.’

‘I was sitting in a comfortable chair next to the table while eating the other fruits. The last one was interesting. The taste was weird. I thought about how to describe it, but the closest possible description would be a sinful child of a watermelon and a banana with a hint of pepper. It was far from enjoyable, but I ate it anyway since the fruit itself wasn’t too big.’

‘A familiar chuckle sounded not far from me. One that filled me with cold fury and dread in equal measure. I turned towards the balcony door, only to see the queen walk out onto the balcony with her usual overly graceful steps. She was giving me a long glance. Then I realized that I was currently a slave, and her servant-bodyguard-handmaiden? This job description was certainly expecting way too much from a single person.’

‘Also I realized that I was sitting in her damn chair… Ups…’

‘I hastily stood up and stepped aside to the table while bowing lightly towards the queen. Her cloudy expression immediately brightened after seeing me following the local etiquette, which she somehow managed to teach me yesterday before I fell asleep. I was surprised, but she actually took it seriously to teach me a handmaiden’s duties.’

‘She walked over to me while I hastily pulled out the chair for her to sit down. She gave me that feline smile that was a unique characteristic of her race.’

“You are not supposed to eat its peel.” — ‘She noted humorously, but I quickly caught on to her thoughts. She must have seen me eating that last fruit, the one that tasted so weird. I nodded silently, while my face felt a tad bit warmer from the embarrassment.’

“You look much better today, which is great, since you will have to work twice as much as punishment to sleep over half of my intended lessons.”

“I understand, mistress. Thank you for your leniency.”

She chuckled. — “Don’t thank me so hastily, girl. I have already prepared a few punishments for your numerous insults and transgressions. But before we get to them, bring me my cloak. I can’t bear this cold air any longer.”

‘I bowed lightly towards the queen, then turned around and walked back to the room to find her cloak. I picked one that seemed to be appropriate, from one of the three enormous wardrobes, and brought it over to her. I extended the cloak towards her, but she only showed me a raised brow.’

‘Oh, for god’s sake. Then I walked around her and draped the cloak over her shoulders myself. Then I stood aside again, waiting.’

“I am satisfied with your ability to adapt, but you are still far from a proper servant.”

“Thank you, your highn-…” — ‘I started, but was cut short.’

‘She snapped at me suddenly.’ — “Shut your filthy mouth and only talk when you are allowed to.”

‘I bowed slightly, which was more like a short irritated nod with my head than a proper bow. I stepped back, standing a few steps from her. Why was she such a bitch? I wondered internally. The answer was simple… because she could be.’

‘She must have noticed in my expression what I thought about her, because she seemed to huff at me and ordered in an angry voice.’

“Kneel.”

‘I threw a warning look at her, something that she easily reciprocated with her own furious gaze.’

‘It would be so easy to snap her neck, to stop that vile heart beating with a mere thought. I have already done it before. I knew that I could do it. The only problem was that she knew this as well… that was why she made me wear this collar. If I killed her, then I literally doomed myself as well, to a painful and slow death.’

‘Aside from the archive survival, which importance was ingrained into my very being. This was the core of her sick game, I realized.’

‘Knowing that I could probably kill her if I willingly choose to suffer a fate worse than death. Forcing me to overcome my desires to kill her, knowing what end would it bring me. To see me struggle and double think every single time, only to realize that I, with all my strength, was essentially helpless against her.’

‘I bit into my lips, coming to this very conclusion once again. I slowly walked in front of her and kneeled down on the floor while she was sipping a fresh glass of vine with a smug expression.’

“Hold out your hands, girl, palms upwards.” — ‘She ordered.’

‘I did as she said if a bit hesitantly, already suspecting where this interaction will go. I was right.’

‘She picked up a thin and flexible rod from the side of the table. Glared at me and said.’ — “I don’t want to hear a single whine coming out of your throat. Do you understand?”

Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

“… Yes, mistress…” — ‘I squeezed out the words, feeling a knot forming inside my throat.’

‘There was a quick swish as the rod cut through the air, delivering a shockingly painful strike into the middle of my bare palms.’

‘I bit down on my tongue, struggling to hold my palms open.’

“This is because you dared to eat before your mistress, and subsequently ruined my planned punishments for you.” — ‘The queen began to explain the reasons for my punishments.’

‘Another three swishes and spike of burning pain later, she spoke up again.’

“This is because you dared to fall asleep while I was gracious enough to personally teach you.”

‘Five strikes followed the statement, and I could feel the helpless tears forming on the edges of my eyes.’

“Finally, this is because you dared to disrespect me yesterday.”

‘Ten strikes rained down on my shaking, red palms. I struggled to hold back the cries that had been building up in the back of my throat. Tears of pain and humiliation slowly dribbled down on both sides of my face.’

‘I saw the queen’s hands reach out towards my left cheek and I instinctively flinched, closing my eyes, but didn’t dare to move away. Afraid that more strikes might follow such behavior. My palms were pulsing with white hot pain, and I could hardly close them now, even if I wanted to since the skin was starting to swell up.’

‘Naturally, I already started to heal the damage on an instinctive level. It will be fine in a few hours, but the same couldn’t be said about the humiliation I endured.’

‘The queen gently fondled my face, drying off my tears with her bare hands.’

‘I could see a fond expression forming on her face. Something that made my stomach flip on its own.’

“It pains me to see you in such a state. Yet, without proper punishment, you will never learn your true place in my palace. I only do this for your own good, to help you understand. Do you have anything to say? I will allow it.”

‘I practically shook with raw fury and pain, but I swallowed it down and answered.’ — “No… mistress.”

‘She lifted my chin firmly, forcing me to look at her instead of the floor. Alas, I couldn’t quite hold her gaze anymore, and looked everywhere but her in a shame fuelled panic. As she took in my broken expression, she nodded with a satisfied smirk.’

“Very good. Tell me, if you understand why you were punished?”

‘I forced back an animalistic growl, and instead answered obediently.’

“I understand, mistress.”

‘She took a long look at my expression, but eventually said in a condescending manner.’

“Good girl. Now clean up the table and prepare my breakfast. It seems that I have worked up an appetite.”

‘I winced, as I glanced at my throbbing palms, an unquenchable hatred burning in my chest. I understood her subtle intention. That she wanted me to clean in my current condition. To truly drive home the fact that I was at her mercy.’

‘I stood up on my slightly shaky legs. My head felt strangely light at the moment as I got to clean up the table. Every movement continuing to aggravate my wounds.’

‘The queen watched my actions closely.’

“I am very pleased that you so readily accepted your fate. From a jedi, even from a fallen one, I was expecting much more vehement and stubborn defiance.” — ‘She stated thoughtfully.’

‘Causing me to freeze in my movements for a second. I will make you choke on these words when I separate your limbs from your body at the first opportunity.’

“Why are you so obedient? Explain.” — ‘She demanded.’

“You… mistress is holding onto all the cards. While I don’t even know how much time I spent in the state of hibernation.”

‘The queen thought about my half cooked answer, but she seemed dissatisfied.’

“I see. Is that all?” — ‘She asked back.’

‘I winced, picking up another empty glass and placing it onto a tray.’ — “I don’t want to be punished… again, mistress.” — ‘I admitted, at last, since she clearly wanted to hear it.’

‘She smiled at that.’ — “Smart girl.” — ‘She praised me.’ — “Smarter than most of the slaves I dealt with in my life. I can already see that we will have a fine understanding.”

‘I bowed to her while taking away the miscellaneous items. When I walked back into the queen’s chamber, there was another servant waiting for me with a full tray of food.’

‘She was a black-haired, dark-skinned human girl with an exotic look. She was a bit older than me.’

‘When she saw my swelling palms, she visibly winced quickly, taking away the tray from my shaky hands only to wince once again when she realized that she needed to place the filled tray into my hands.’

‘She looked at me apologetically as she did so while I bit back a cry of pain, turning around and carrying back the food towards the balcony. I heard the girl’s skittering steps behind me. She practically run out of the chamber. I could hardly fault her for that.’

‘After I put down the tray with a sigh of relief in front of the queen. I stepped out of sight, standing by the wall with a lowered head.’

‘She ate slowly, while completely ignoring my presence, and I stared at the sight of dawn, feeling dazed and empty. My painfully throbbing palms being a constant reminder of my new place in this palace.’

‘It was strange how quickly one’s perspective on life can flip on its head. I thought while staring at the distant stars slowly disappearing on the brightening sky. In a sharp contrast, my mind kept falling into deeper and deeper darkness.’

‘After about half an hour, my palms were already on their way to heal, and the pain wasn’t that distracting anymore. Force heal was a fantastic thing after all. Not that I intended to let the queen realize how fast I could heal. That bitch might think that healing this fast is a disrespect towards her authority and decides to flail me once again.’

‘The thought in itself started to fill me with dread.’

‘I was snapped out of my thoughts as the queen’s demanding voice sounded once again.’

“From today onwards, you will be my secret bodyguard first and foremost, and only secondarily will you serve me as a handmaiden.”

“By secret bodyguard, I mean that nobody else, not even my most trusted advisors, will know about this. If you tell it to anyone without my personal permission, you can prepare for dire consequences.”

“Your handmaiden duties will be mainly a distraction, a cover for your presence here. That does not mean I won’t expect you to do it properly. Otherwise, even a fool would realize that you were not a simple maid. You will do your duties with other more experienced girls. They have already been notified of your newly elevated status as my newest handmaiden.”

“Regarding your guard duties, you will naturally need a proper weapon. Lucky for you, I am a woman of tradition. I decided to give you back your lightsaber.”

‘My eyes widened in disbelief as I heard those words.’

‘She rang a small bell that was placed on the crystal table, and soon one of the droids brought here an intricate small silver case. She opened it and pushed it slightly towards me.’

‘I looked at her, trying to figure out if this was some kind of trap. She smiled, which was not reassuring at all. In the end, I decided to step closer, looking at the familiar object with a confused expression. I slowly picked up the weapon, looking it over carefully.’

‘I sensed the familiar tingling of the crystal bounded with me. Everything seemed to be in order. Which confused me even further.’

‘I bowed towards the queen, as my fingers tightened around the hilt of my blade.’

“I believe that we have come to an understanding throughout this morning.” — ‘The queen stated.’

“I paid for you with a large sum. I don’t plan to waste your potential. I expect you to guard my life as if it was your own.” — ‘Then she chuckled at her own joke.’ — “Now that I think of it, it kind of is.”

‘I don’t care, she is giving me back my lightsaber! She is a complete retard! Now I can cut off my binds…’

‘She clearly caught my joyous expression. Her suddenly appearing cat like smirk froze the blood in my veins.’

“Ah, and don’t try to cut off your collar with your lightsaber. It would be a waste of time and effort. After all, I specifically ordered it for this purpose, meaning that it is made from beskar. One of the few metals that can withstand the heat of molten plasma.”

‘I immediately felt devastated when I heard her words.’

‘The sight of my depressed expression coaxed a warm chuckle out of the queen. Something that felt entirely out of place for the present topic.’

‘Once again reinforcing my beliefs about her. She was mad.’

‘Not that the queen minded it, as she continued her explanation.’

“Not so long ago, I managed to acquire a mandalorian, who knew how to work with beskar. A smith if you like. We wanted to squeeze the secrets of his craft out of him, to learn the details of how to work with the famous metal.”

“He was not as smart as you, my dear. He refused to tell us, so I ordered him to be tortured.”

“It took a few days. Yet, in the end, we achieved an acceptable compromise. We will let him live a mostly comfortable life, and he will create the things we wanted him to make from beskar. I am not an unreasonable person, you see, if he is willing to pay back the credits I paid for him, with his work. I will happily provide for his daily needs and even more. What you have to realize is that I always get what I want, one way or another. You are free to choose the path you want to walk, but the result will be the same.”

“For me, it is entirely inconsequential. But for you, it makes the difference between the carrot and the stick.”

‘Shivered at the mention of the stick, and indeed quickly made up my mind to not get out of line, not until I figure out a way to get out of this situation for good.’

‘There was no need for her sugar-coated threats here.‘

‘Aside from that, I probably still had multiple warrants of caption on my head throughout the whole galaxy. It’s not like I could simply run away. Not even speaking about the money which I would need to go anywhere without drawing attention by stealing ships.’

‘On top of all of that. I don’t even know where I am or when. So let’s not rush into any decisions. At worst-case scenario, what could happen? I die, that’s nothing new.’

‘So for now, the plan is to get her trust in me, potentially make her remove this damn collar. Yeah, I know, that is quite unlikely to succeed. It is still worth a try, though.’

‘Meanwhile, I have nothing better to do. I guess I will stay and live here for a time. I thought about forcing her to remove it with a mind trick? Unfortunately, that trick only works on weak-willed subjects, and she is definitely not weak-willed…’

‘I realized that she was expecting me to react to her previous declaration.’

‘I slowly walked over to the queen and kneeled down before her, just like I did previously. She was looking down at me with an excited smirk.’

‘She started to fondle my face with surprising gentleness.’ — “A smart girl indeed. You will go far here with this attitude.”

‘I looked up tentatively, only to meet the sparkling eyes of the queen glaring down at me emotionally.’

“It is wise from the prey to recognize its predator.” — ‘She practically purred, while playing with the tip of my left lek absentmindedly, somehow managing to find a way that made me feel even more humiliated.’

‘I kneeled there for about ten minutes, before she seemed to get bored with me, and ordered me to report at the mirialan boy for further training and work.’

‘As I silently left her chamber and started to look around the palace. The true weight of my situation crashed down on my shoulders. My anger slowly turned into sadness and self pity. Yet, I refused to cry like a helpless child. I was not one, not anymore. I left that past on Ryloth… However… What else was I, if not helpless right now?’

‘In the end… a few dry sobs broke through my mental shields. As the wounds of the past were so cruelly ripped apart, that even the carefully created conditioning couldn’t bury my true emotions.’

‘I hid in the corner of the glamorous corridors and cried for a few minutes, as the child I truly was. Feeling the familiar weight of my lightsaber hilt held tightly clutched in my hand under the layers of silken robes. This time did not provide the reassuring sense of safety.’

‘I have never imagined that I could ever feel this helpless with that blade in my hands, and yet… here I was.’