Hyoudou Residence – Isei's Room

--What the hell did you call me for?

Look at my pitiful older brother who is currently tied up by a dozen tentacles.

--You said you could locate Freed and the priest... I want you to find him.

--Oh~ that crazy guy? Because I should?

--Oh, come on, there's some kind of crisis here, helping won't kill you, in fact, you can't die!

--Exactly and since I won't die~ I don't care~

I laughed and freed Isei from his restraints, the idiot has gotten used to the tentacle, it's a shame, his pleas for mercy and whining was good background music.

--Well, I'll give you something from my collection...

--Your porn doesn't interest me~

--Ah... yes~? So what do you say about this?

--SON OF AN ARCHANGEL, WHERE DID YOU GET THAT?!

Issei had brought out a box of cookies, but not just any box of cookies, an ultra rare and really stupid special edition that could only exist in this shitty world, take those ultra expensive Danish cookies, combine them with a selection of Anime-Waiffus and so on. , not only are they disgustingly delicious, but each cookie comes in individual character-themed packaging, which in turn contains a card signed by the character's Seiju, only 100 damn boxes were made.

--I won it from a client playing twister~

I raised my hands in surrender but not before securing the box in my shadow, I have a 1919 Lancaster Wine and some good cheese for these crackers, oh~ I'll enjoy this later.

--Okay... you win, as you want your crazy exorcist~ raw, three-quarters, medium, cooked, crispy or preserved~

I smiled and took out a white apron with the words “AbbysKichent” from my shadow, as well as a couple of butcher knives, the fact that they are stained with blood is another story.

--No, no, don't kill him! I want, well we want you to take us to wherever it is and if it gets very bad, help us...

Issei shouted and explained while sweating as I proceeded to do some juggling with the knives, if I admit it I'm bored, making fun of an Issei in serious mode is unsatisfying, I prefer the taste of sadness, fear, pain, frustration and that beautiful emotion they give off when they know they have no escape~ oh, it's delicious~ but a serious Isei tastes like a cheap American hamburger, just two pieces of bun with a slice of dry cheddar cheese and questionable meat just as tasteless, maybe with a little tasteless ketchup and mustard, that's how sad it is to bother a serious Isei.

--Okay...that's smart of you...Does almost dying really help?

I mocked Isei by shaking his skull and hitting him with my knuckles, this is a preview to the cannon, my perverted brother has taken a step in the right direction, from a useless pervert to a pervert who can think beyond his penis. .fills me with pride.

--I don't die because I want to and... forget it... look, Kiba is a little sick in the head with all this Excalibur and the church, Asia is sad, Irina-san turned out to be an exorcist, Buncho is worried and...

--I see~ If the Redhead Stripper is busy you can't grope her tits, correct?

--It's not that... well yes... but...

--Don't worry, I'm proud that you have enough self-control to devise a plan with me as insurance against failure.

This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

--Well, Ddraig keeps rubbing in my face how strong you are and how pathetic I am so yes, I was forced to think of a plan that...well, “ME” approves of.

--Oh... my pathetic and perverted brother, you have taken the first step... now you just have to stop thinking with your crotch and you can be a halfway decent living being.

I wiped away a fake tear while laughing.

--I don't think with my crotch... well, not all the time.

--Ddraig, I thank you on behalf of the Hyoudou family for helping Isei take the first step in the right direction.

The dragon's tired voice echoed in the room.

[It's okay... It's already depressing, I'm just helping a little...]

--I see... thanks anyway, and please keep rubbing his mistakes until he learns or stops almost dying every time, whichever comes first~

[Sounds good to me... Partner, you better get ready... that woman with the bastard sword, I name the “WHITE”...]

--Ugh... true, count on me Ddraig.

--Oh~ so this generation's Hakuryuukou has already appeared~

[So it seems...]

--Ddraig... How much do you give me for my Liver?

[General increase of 15% and possibly resistance to all alcohol and poison]

--I like it~ I heard about a youkai party in Onigashima and if the stories are correct their sake is so good that it melts your bones...which I don't want to experience... (Even if they liquefy my bones will grow back.. .and the itching is annoying)

[Hmmm, I remember some of that...“Something”-Douji, one of my bearers drank that and died happy... that alcoholic bastard...]

--Sounds like a good death to me, anyway, let's go with it~

[OK]

--Hey what are they talking about?

--Oh, you were right here~ well, I changed my organs to Ddraig for dragon organs, I get new parts and a racial improvement, while you get more vitality, strength and resistance in case of emergency. Or do you think that measly Can demonic strength from a few months of use do anything against a demonic being with years of training?

--Okay... I don't understand everything but, Ddraig took your organs, gave you new ones and the leftover energy ended up in... me?

--Basically~ Now my friend Wales...come on~ there's a Big Fat Crow to roast~

Without further words Issei's left arm became his Sacred Gear, the garnet red gauntlet with emerald gems and gold spikes, moved on its own and stabbed into my stomach.

[Guahahahaha~ Damn~ TRADE!!!]

The Welsh dragon's laughter full of frustration and amusement resonated as the gems glowed an intense green color. For my part, I could only feel how my body was burning from the inside, a horrible sensation but for me it was fun and comforting in a way, since which means that I can still feel pain and that I am not “That” broken yet, which is a good thing, since I have been rethinking the options I have a little.

A few seconds later the gauntlet disappeared leaving Isei's limp arm hanging at his side, the owner of said arm was now in the fetal position while clutching his stomach.

--Argh...it hurts...why does it hurt?

--Hmmm, I've been changing my own physiology lately and technically I stopped being both human and demon, I have much more vitality than when I changed my respiratory system, yes, you are receiving much more energy than before... look on the bright side ~ You will go from level 5 to 30 without much trouble~ just squeeze your buttocks and hit.

[So that's why... you abandoned everything...]

--Not exactly, I never considered myself a good person, I always saw the definition or concept of humanity as something overrated, in the end we are all living beings, simple animals, magical or not, we all breathe and we will all die, I myself hope to die one day , while... I'll see how to kill time in between... for now racial and body modification is my focus.

[Oh~ so those lungs I gave you...]

--I modified them for stronger ones, they are still dragonic but of a different species...

[I see... hence those strange flames...]

--For this seal you have good eyesight... Well Isei, when you recover, look for me in my room, I will tell Asia-chan to come and heal you...

--Argh...thanks for that...art...

--Don't get in your pants~ see you.

***

Hyoudou Residence – Kitchen

--Asia-chan~ can you go up Issei got hurt~

I went down to the living room and talked to the pretty blonde with emerald eyes who was cleaning some vegetables for dinner, her surprised and worried face was strangely touching, although I have tried even the memories of my little adopted daughter Rita overlap with Asia, really I hope she has been able to grow up to become a splendid woman.

--Oh! I'm coming right away Souji-onii-sama.

--Okay, girl~ I'll take care of this~

Stroke and ruffle her hair, before taking her place to prepare dinner.

Before Asia moved in with us and before I myself partially moved in with Monet, three times a week the kitchen was my territory and today I feel like cooking.

--Okay, let's get to work~

I took the ingredients from both the pantry and my shadow, our parents received a free tour around the world courtesy of Rías Gremory, so I can cook to my heart's content, and by wide I mean tentacles and magic to the fullest.

--Let's make some Chinese rice, sweet and sour pork and some lumpias but the old style~

Remembering the old Cantonese immigrant restaurants in South America, I pulled out several bottles of different varieties of soy sauce and wines, chili oil, pork belly and ribs, chicken breast, shrimp, peas, day-old rice, bean sprouts, ham, parsley, cilantro, celeri, brown sugar, puff pastry, bok choy, daikon radish and other seasonings.

Assisted by several extra limbs and magic circles, The AbyssKichent opened its doors.