Chapter 18: Wish Fulfillment (END)

To be honest, I was really tired of everything. I just want to go back and become a normal person, but this world just won't let me live however I want.

The government was clamping down on happy, free-spirited people. With the rules they kept on making, you run into a risk of going to jail because you want to have fun.

The companies kept dehumanizing their employees. Work hours kept on increasing, while the pay and productivity took a fall.

Contrary to what complaints I uttered, everything had nothing to do with me. I was just looking for more and more things I could whine about.

In my country. A lot still concern themselves with food and shelter. While it didn't yet touch upon human liberty, it had its own problems.

I don't see this country going for the better. A lot of good politicians who spoke up for the people end up getting sent to jail for bullshit reasons.

It made sense why people lost faith in the government. Indeed it was wrong to rely on these corrupt politicians to better my life. No matter what rules and regulations exist, the only thing matter was strength. If only I was stronger, I'd be able to live however I want.

I'm referring to the power to distort reality. Altering your own fate through the force of your own mind. As your life went by, it would hopefully become better.

From what I've discovered so far, it stems from knowing yourself and striving to live in accordance with your ideals.

This mortal coil was severely limiting.

I was afraid of sickness and having my body parts crippled.

That when I got older, life would be filled with so much suffering, with degradation of bodily functions.

That I would turn so weak; I had to rely on someone just to do my daily things.

Most of all, there's no telling what might happen. What kind of disaster or hardship would befall—I don't want that kind of life.

As someone who lived their life in peaceful times, I was content, if I could forever spend my days in happiness and peace. The hell about tempering yourself through hardship.

I had enough of that. I don't need it to tell over and over that I suck.

I want the life that's solely in-line with what I desired. Even if hardship fell, I wouldn't lose anything and gain something meaningful out of it. Even if I lost it, I could regain everything easily.

It's my bottom line; I no longer wish to let this life dictate what's best for me.

...but, how can I transcend my own humanity? To gain the power enough, to shape my own world, to live fully in accordance with my belief?

However--was striving for it all the way, the best decision? At times I kept on pouring my very being and discovering more sides of myself through my works--sometimes it felt so fake.

I don't want to force myself to do this. Even with all the goals I had in life, first and foremost, I still want to enjoy life to the fullest.

It'd be for the best, whatever I did, as long it was my true desire—it'd brought me closer to my ultimate dream.

One day, I came across a story. It wasn't that good and I already stopped reading while it's on the beginning parts. Nevertheless, it had one particular quote I held dearly.

The most important thing of all is the foundation. You can be slower and weaker than anyone else at the beginning, but it doesn't really matter. Eventually, those without an impeccable base will find themselves crumbling at the end.

You can let those proclaiming themselves as the genius, due to the speed of their improvement, look down and ignore you. The one who'll have the last laugh won't be them.

While it may be a nice thing to attain glory, as I got older, it mattered even less.

I was tired of potentially troublesome things. It'd be nice if I could get as far as possible from conflict; spending an eternity of peace.

While I wasn't sure of what kind of foundation best suit me, something, I felt—it's best not to think too much. I wasn't trying to become a paragon or an overlord.

I didn't want to leave myself fo fate either, or the possible results. That someday, I'll get there.

I was still living in the 'real' world, where things became more and more unreal.

Fortunately, I had time to spend, of suffering I could still handle. Even if my work was tiring, it wasn't as stressful as other jobs.

There might be no day offs, but I could live with the workload. The moment I came home, I could also sleep before midnight.

It's okay. No matter how long it takes, I will try to live at my own pace. To appreciate the beauty, of the time I had left, as I transcend, slowly but surely.

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I wish to have all the convenient things to satisfy me. Whether it's eating delicious food; the comfiest bed I can sleep all day with; the PC with all the kinds of games which can keep me going forever.

The body I can love with all my heart. The small, youthful, feminine physique that can pass up as both child and adult--which made me comfortable to act however I'd like, be it cutely childish or taciturn.

The world perfectly tailored to suit my needs. It's a place to rest my weary soul. When I had given up hope on everything, these places would welcome me. The views that would never change, just for me.

It was all but a tranquil scenery.

Lastly, I yearn to be surrounded by loving and caring people. I want them to find me and protect me while I am weak. It'd be nice if they're all beautiful girls; I  just love girls too much.  

That's why I want to become the cutest girl I could imagine, so no matter what--I would not lose sight of loving myself. As the one who had been with me through thick and thin, she at least deserved this much credit.

I just hope, I can finally achieve it all someday.

While I had always been alone, in my past life—even I had known, it's better to be with someone suitable.

If I'm a mortal, I can just say--it's because as a mortal, I'm not perfect. I couldn't handle everything that comes.

If I had the chance to become a goddess, can I handle it on my own--or will I need the assistance of my fellow goddesses?

While the result was kept in the dark, it did not matter much. I am not desperate for it. Even with my destination was present, I was free to walk whatever path I like since there are millions of ways to reach Rome.

...

Indeed, they were all my memories.

I thought this lewd pen was a piece of junk, only capable of spewing lewd thoughts. Come to think of it, the moment Thea first displayed the collection of her hentai manga inside the pen—did she foresaw everything?

The moment I own this pen, did she knew it would greatly help on restoring my memories?

I felt like, I don't need this object since I had a lot of those flashbacks as well. Not just about me, but also Mitsuki's.

...but when I peered through the pen's contents, now that I had awakened as a goddess—indeed I saw Mitsuki's imprints on it—and only hers.

Thea apparently erased the contents pertaining to her. I wonder why?

In any case, she'll tell me when the time comes—or not—it's all on her.

Checking through the recorded stuff; the majority of those made my face heat up since there's a lot of lewd scenes that actually didn't happen.

Going through all those lewd might be a pain; my penis would hurt so much from whacking off, not to mention my pussy as well.

I rested my loli body beneath the tree; the breeze blew against my waist-length hair.

I concluded thus far: ending up to this world, living the way I want and meeting the people I long for—it was too good to be true.

Nevertheless, it happened.

I don't think I did anything special to deserve such things. Didn't seem like I paid an enormous price either; It's just so strange.

What kind of being granted my wish?

Or was the power of my wish and my efforts enough?

No matter how much I mulled, I couldn't reach a conclusion. Regardless of its reason, isn't it enough, that I'm here?

I don't know for how long I could experience this peaceful atmosphere, but, like what I did in the past life—I'll live each day like always.

I wonder what kind of life I'd be living right now if my wish hadn't yet come true.

Maybe I'd just be writing my desires to be a gay loli, but I'm not sure since I'm no longer my past self. I don't even feel like going back to that life ever again.

...though, what if my current life was a dream? The kind I might wake up someday?

Doesn't matter.

I'd still live to the fullest. I wish to believe, I reach thus far through my own efforts.

If I was sent back, I just have to return again. I'm already here once; a piece of cake.

Even with my wish fulfilled, there'd be more to go. I look forward to anticipating all the fascination my new life brings.

I haven't been a goddess for long, so—please take care of me.

The journey to discover me as a mortal might have ended, but now it's a new beginning, to learn more about my goddess self.

I don't know what's out there, at the finish line. I had enough thinking for now, so let's just chill and relax.

Indeed, tranquil places are the best.

FIN