Chapter 17: Apex

From the pile of corpses, Reeve converted everything into stacks of delicious meat--with the price of a finger flick.

It was followed by piles of wood magically appearing near it. Pointing her finger, the tangerine-red flames formed a bonfire.

"Wait a minute, Mistress—this is my specialty." Thea pulled her arm sleeves, showcasing her white skin.

Approaching Reeve closer, she took out a floating gigantic pot out of her inventory space; it made subtle rotating motions akin to a slow cooker, atop the fire. Water already filled the pot.

Thea started piling up the meat into the pot through telekinesis motions. From the same space, gigantic vegetables floated in mid-air. Holding a knife made outta exotic materials. In few slicing motions, the veggies were shredded into bite-sized pieces—falling with perfect splash sounds within.

I want to clap, but then I notice, the slime girl was staring intently.

A translucent body with a bluish sheen which brought the sense of chill and comfiness. Her legs weren't present; replaced by a blob-like texture smoothly sliding against the ground. I could sense countless tentacles wriggling in its surface.

She had the same blue hair, formed short and straight, reaching the nape of her neck, with spiky ends, giving her energetic look. Her eyes on the lighter shade of blue; my small body was reflected clearly when my gaze fixate.

Those puffed cheeks look so soft I wanna stretch them; these eyes so calming and gentle I could lock eyes with her for long. I didn't think even adding the word pretty would cut it as everyone I met so far had top-tier looks—herself included.

This slime girl had a well-toned body, with a medium-sized chest; bigger than me and Mitsuki. Her legs and arms were meaty and firm and it looked juicy...not to mention when I looked straight at her...

It was the same as staring at a mirror; neither judging nor assuming.

This girl practically saw me as I am.

...yet, what she said to me first thing...

"Are you hurt?"

I could only nod.

Some water trails appeared on the corner of my eye, as well.

"Yosh...yosh. Pain, pain...please fly away. There—feeling better? ( ^ o ^ )."

"I don't think it's any different."

"Arere...?"

I'm really troubled with this mood swing. When Reeve was there, it reminded me of something everyone hid from me. About the complicated things, she explained earlier.

Mitsuki joined, in helping Thea preparing the hot pot, while Reeve disappeared into nowhere. I let out a sigh of relief.

"Do Mirai...hate...Reeve?"

"...no."

"Mystia wants to ask stuff: is Mirai uncertain 'bout things?"

"...like what?"

"For example, when those animals are killed..."

"Hmm...I don't think so. I only cared about procuring enough meat."

"Since Mirai is strong?"

"No—they actually the first to seek trouble, wanting to kill me or so. I simply gave them just desserts."

The enigmatic slime girl kept on nodding; her eyes seem to contain the mystery of the world.

"Hmm...what if the place Mirai stayed was crucial? Like, if Mirai took it they no longer can live comfortably?"

"I don't care, my life comes first. Reeve also said such things--"

[Alas, I need a new tree to grow. Otherwise, all lives in here would cease to exist.]

When I remembered her words at a convenient moment, it made me understand the nature of my World Tree.

So, I continued.

"...in any case, it's the new world tree within me which enabled them to live. Why must they kill the one giving them life?"

"Why Mirai would assume the animals will understand?"

"...well, you're right...but, are you saying--I did wrong?"

"Nn." Mystia shook her head, "It's perfectly fine. Survival of the fittest. Those who have strength, create rules. Who can't obey, will perish."

"...so I was worried over nothing all this time?"

"Can Mirai tell whether the animals actually agonize over being killed?"

It's my turn to shook head. I never thought about it so far.

"Maybe Mirai was doing them favors by ending their life. They'd finally be free. In their place, the new lives that will cherish you will sprout."

Stuff like reincarnation huh...

I wonder if I can make it a paradise for them.

"In that case, why wouldn't they just end themselves?"

"Killing yourself can be harder to killing someone else ( > __ < )."

It made me wonder—just how did my past life end.

".., but that besides the point. Is Mirai, Mystia's friend—and will listen?"

"It depends—I had enough complicated talks."

"Reeve is just not very good at explaining! Mystia is confident, Mirai can get it."

"...but why do you know so many things about me?"

"Mystia just love to know things. Mirai is interesting—since Mirai came from the same world."

"...that world?"

"Yup! Where there's no hope to attain absolute strength--the god was so afraid on being taken over! It's ironic, the world ends up having the most deities coming out."

Ah...

In that world, one yearned for power, unlike any other.

You can feel so powerless, just because you're different.

Even more so, if one wasn't good with people and have a different belief on how things were supposed to work.

As the world became less and less appealing, some choose to end their lives.

Some kept on fighting...for a better outcome.

Some pursued their own truth relentlessly.

It was an irrational world, where efforts may not bear any fruit if it's not in-line with the majority.

It's of no use, trying to make the world a better place for yourself if you're in the minority. In the end, you could only be a weak human against the masses. Despite tons of people aiding you, your actual strength was still the same.

One well-placed gunshot was all it takes.

People could betray and move to the other factions, the moment their goals did not align.

When you kept on trying to pursue your own truth--away from the expectations of masses, it's more likely to end up in solitude;  nobody would understand how you feel.

Some accepted, that this is just how life is and moved on.

Some others still clung to their ideals.

Even if I might fail in the end, at least let me live the way I want to, until my time finally comes.

I don't wish to rely on others. It's okay if what I believe in will only be known to myself alone.

I have already lied to everyone else, I had enough of it. At least, I want to be true to myself.

To focus on the things I care about, even with all the limited time I had from work.

These few moments, where I can just be myself, are the reason why I'm still living with hopes held high.

I will keep on going, until I finally am able to live in my own world, doing whatever I want. I don't have any noble goals—I just want to discover and learn more about myself, and not even a single one of my honest feelings will be denied anymore.

...yet, that god...I remember him coming over.

The moment I rejected his will, saying I want to keep going with my own strength—he made my life perish—before I could even reach, what Reeve said to be the Apex.

...but at least my soul was intact, and with all this adversary I went through—I became even stronger from the get-go.

However—my memories became fragmented, but it's of no issue.

It all came back together somehow.

...

"From Multiverse to Mirai--are you awake?" Mystia waved few times at me.

I sat on the front porch near the door. Thea, Reeve, and Mitsuki nommed their meals heartily.

I don't feel hungry, regardless.

"...have I been asleep?"

"Mirai totally looks dazed, but Mystia's glad—Mirai finally got it back together!"

"My memories? I don't think there's anything special."

"It means a lot! Didn't Reeve also say, the most important part was about breaking free from a mortal's way of thinking? The Trial was exactly made this way—although it was kinda harsh—and it forced us to act all submissive in order to pass..."

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"I was wondering—the entire thing was Reeve this, Reeve that...now that I remember it, was it really necessary to listen to her about everything?"

My eyes accidentally met with Reeve and she gave me a warm smile.

"Well...unlike Mirai, we really didn't have a clue about what to do when we start our own path as a goddess. So, we could only rely on Reeve's experience. She shared a lot of them—and it really helped Mystia a lot—Mystia loves Reeve..."

"Don't tell me she did loads of perverted things."

"What is perverted? Mystia only feels Reeve's genuine love, it's so good and there's warmth which makes Mystia alive. Why is it perverted or sinful? Can Mirai explain?"

When it came to her, I really am no match. Even if she used simple words, I found myself unable to form rebuttals at all.

"...no, I'm sorry about that—it's nothing really."

"If there's really nothing, Mirai should eat lots of food. Mirai's still small, so please eat a lot—so you'll grow, okay? ( ^ __ ^ )."

She reached her gelatinous hands to me, beaming with an innocent smile, but her eyes—it was filled with wisdom. Like she had completely seen through my entire being.

...but, when I thought of myself being forced to 'grow up'...I couldn't help but turn my head away.

It hurts...

My surroundings became dark and I all kinds of affection I had with them start to go down the drain.

"What if the main reason I become a goddess--cuz love my current body? What if I don't want to change?"

...in the end, they're just simply shaping me to be the kind of girl they can fawn at...

"Isn't it fine to stay the same?"

...what, am I hearing correctly?

The darkness in front of me ceased, and her words dragged me outside the abyss.

"Even if Mirai tried to change, how will Mirai know—whether or not Mirai will change? Wasn't change a part of nature—it always happens, no matter how minute?"

"Honestly, I don't care. A change isn't always a good thing, but I'm game if I don't have to painstakingly push for it. I'll see how it can benefit when I cross that bridge.

What

 I want, however, is just enjoying life, relax, and be no part of any conflicts or struggles.

I don't believe hardship is necessary for growth, nor growth is necessary for life. Through the simple things in life, you can still learn something. If things just stay as it was, it'd be just fine as well."

Mystia looked like she's about to cry, and her so-genuine look made my heart wrench...

"Is it fine, living like that? Wouldn't it be boring? Wouldn't it be lonely?"

"...well, it's not like I'm completely alone—but I don't think I'm free of obligations--"

"No, you're doing great, Lil' sis—I never said anything about obligations though? Just you being alive and happy is enough for me." Reeve came at a relaxed pace, holding a meat skewer.

I love that, regardless of the circumstances, I could be frank with her. The easy-going attitude of hers I fell in love with.

It seems the cuisine changed into the actual BBQ, as well.

"Lil' Miss don't have to worry. I'll do my best to warm you up!" Thea gave me another thumbs up.

If you're planning on molesting me gently, I'll pass for now.

"It's...unfair to hog her to yourself—Misty! if you want, Mirai-chan...you can talk to me anytime...anything...I will listen!"

My Mitsun...my little sister figure—she's older though.

Thanks for everything, everyone.

"...you folks."

In my past life, I never felt I was truly cared or understood. I was always under apprehension, that everyone's just waiting for the next 'wrong' words to come outta my mouth, or the next 'mistake' I'd made.

That I was going to be crushed under the rock of 'rules', just because I was a normal human—without any powers to fight back—nor aptitude to rally others towards my side.

The sight of these caring girls, who accepted me as I am, was a dream come true. Compared to my past, it's akin to being pulled from the deepest parts of hell, onto the heavens.

In the end, I have nothing to give back. They're already complete, for the most part.

If what Reeve said earlier was true...

To repay them, I have to become the best I could.

It made me look back to some parts of myself, I neglected for so long.

I finally understood what Reeve meant by her definition of Love. People may come and go. It's a sound choice, to enjoy things as they come, without any possessive feelings. With such a passionate relationship, to make each other strong.

While on the surface, it's a solid idea, Reeve herself thought, her belief was flawed. It's fine to accept the scar as its own beauty and live on. But for me, who spent most of my life all alone—it's not really suitable.

I might be easy to love, but it's also effortless to let go of my affection, the moment things didn't go well.

...behind that belief, lies a curse. Anticipating the initial hurt and depression, when that unfortunate time finally comes. It was even more painful as a goddess since you have unlimited life.

Your pain shall only be multiplied along with time...and I don't want to live each day with such worries.

However, that small flaw can be mended, if your true Love is...Yourself.

People may come and go, but your own self shall be together with you, forever and ever.

It was so obvious, some failed to notice it, and instead try to look for Love everywhere else. Changing themselves to suit their partner—for money, for social recognition, tax breaks etc. When the other party wouldn't even treat them like a human being.

I think it's completely normal. We're born with eyes that could only look outside and not within us.

As a goddess, I want to change that.

While it's true, that there's still a good chance to meet your destined lover, the one you'd most suited with—I don't like to submit myself to chance, ever again.

Since I'm transcending myself from a mortal, I will create my own chances.

I will have eyes that look within. Others may recognize this self, but I believe, it pales in comparison—when I'm the one acknowledging the things accomplished.

After all, she'd been there from the very beginning. Never betraying; always there through thick and thin; through happiness and sadness. Despite all of that, she's always the one least appreciated—mostly forgotten.

It was extremely sad—but I'm going to make that a history. Because I know, my own self deserved it.

This is my life, this is my real life.

Where I will reward myself and acknowledge my own self-worth, as it is—no more or less.

...and I will make sure, from now on, I will treat myself the best it could be.

Never relying on others first—and pull through with my own strength, as long it's within my capabilities.

...

Hmm, where was I again? The moment I start contemplating—everything seems terribly quiet.

It's the same place where I first meet my own self, the loli princess.

"I never expected you to come back so fast...after you've betrayed me time and time again."

While her words were indeed heart-breaking, I felt a strange kind of warmth...as her lips moved once more.

"...welcome back. It's my fault as well, to not realize...my true love, is right in front of me."

Our hands only met, and there's a strange kind of warmth. It made me feel completely whole—filled with love. It was different, compared to the time I did lewd things with Thea and Reeve.

Facing my own self, I was able to bare my utmost honesty, with a bright smile.

...and that deadpan face was no more; it was replaced by the cheerful face of a small young girl.

"I'm here."

"I'm here."

As our voices came out of in unison. The mirror broke, and beyond it...

...was the World Tree.

Even if I couldn't see her reflection anymore, I wasn't afraid. The real her was inside me all along.

Together, we definitely can overcome the last hurdle.

Ah...that lewd pen! It was flying from beyond the horizon. When it flew by itself onto my small hands, I realize...

I had completely forgotten about it.

Why did it appear now, at all times?