Leland woke up and immediately covered his face with one hand after remembering the events of last night. He yawned, rubbed both eyes and looked down to see an envelope in his hands. On the letter, in carefully crafted capital letters it read:

FOR LELAND OGUNJIMI

He opened the envelope and read the first sentence.

"Congratulations, pathetic slug! You have been invited to The Slug Games"

Leland ripped the letter into five pieces but they somehow miraculously joined back together. He groaned. According to Staress, Volengi could launch a full scale invasion any time he wanted and erase their existence faster than Thanos. Whatever was in the letter, they had to comply.

So instead of reading it, he went to school and failed to concentrate in every morning lesson, too busy replaying the argument with Maggie several times in his mind. He ate lunch with Mark and then went to the restroom, but before he could dry his hands, a powerful grip seized him by the collar, forcefully pulling him through a portal that led to a vast grassland.

“You could have just tapped me on the shoulder,” Leland said, massaging his neck.

Cadell grinned. “Now why would I do that when it gives you the chance to run?”

“Can’t blame me this time, Lee,” Staress said, raising both arms in a defensive manner. “You saw the letter.”

“Y-yeah. S-s-omething about a tournament.” Leland nodded forwards. “W-who are they?”

Approximately fifty meters away, three aliens stood together, staring back at them.

“Other contestants for the preliminary round,” Staress said. “You didn’t read the letter, did you?”

Leland shook his head.

“The structure of the tournament is as follows. Preliminary round for slug planets. Preliminary round for normal planets. Then the group stages, then the knockout stages. Kind of like the World Cup.

“R-right…”

There was a pause.

“Oh, I forgot. Any slug planet that loses gets blown up,” Staress finished.

“O-of course.”

Leland watched the aliens with curiosity. They resembled humans, with two arms, two legs, a head and a stocky frame, but luminescent markings ran along their bodies, emitting a gentle yellow glow.

“W-w-here are we?”

“A ghost planet,” Cadell replied.

“What?”

“It’s a planet that’s been abandoned by intelligent life forms. Solarians own a ton of them.”

“I-it looks like Earth.”

“It almost is,” Staress said. “Without the buildings and mountains of trash.”

“H-how did they get here?” Leland asked. “Do they use portals too?”

“Nope,” Staress said. “Volengi probably used teleporters to get them here. We’re built different, Lee.”

Over the next thirty minutes, groups of three sporadically materialised in the grassland. Leland took a single step back, trying his best to avoid eye contact. Most of them were armed and wielded swords, spears and unusual looking guns.

“D-does that g-guy have a rocket launcher?” Leland whispered, subtly pointing to the right with his head.

Cadell and Staress looked in the direction at the same time.

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“D-don’t make it obvious!”

“Oh my god, he does,” Staress said, delight coating her voice. “Oh my, oh my. He’s too small to be carrying that thing.”

Cadell laughed. “It’s cool, though. I respect it.”

“H-he can p-probably hear you,” Leland said.

“You worry too much,” Staress said. “There’s a language barrier, it’s fine.”

Moments later, a short, catchy tune played in the air and an excited announcer's voice boomed around them.

“Greetings! Welcome, my disgusting slugs, to the preliminary stage! The rules for this stage are very, very simple. You must survive. Only eight slug planets can be worthy enough to enter the group stages. We highly recommend you to be as barbaric as possible and wish you absolutely no luck whatsoever. You may begin… now!”

Leland palm struck the air and an opaque blue barrier surrounded the trio.

*BOOM!*

Something large collided into the barrier. Cries of terror, gunshots, strangled beastly roars and clashes of metal surrounded them.

Cadell gently punched him on the shoulder. “Nice going, kid. This is why you’re the active superhero.”

“I’m not, b-but thank you.”

Staress turned to Cadell. “Background music?”

“Sure,” he replied, pulling a mini speaker out of a portal. “We’re not playing your music though.”

“Why?” Leland asked.

Cadell ignored him and a serene, non lyrical musical piece involving the piano began to play. “This is Nujabes. Rest in peace to a king. I love this type of—”

*BOOM!* *THUD!*

Cadell turned up the volume, drowning out the noise of screams and explosions. “I love this type of music. Very chilled. Makes you feel like you can fly about like a feather.”

“Y-you’re not wrong,” Leland agreed. “This slaps.”

Staress, Leland, and Cadell nodded their heads in time with the music in unison, vibing while death encompassed them.

“Monopoly?” Staress said after the first few songs played.

“I’ll p-play,” Leland said. “Only if I can be the dog.”

“No, I’m the dog,” Cadell snapped. “I saved the day the most.”

“No,” Leland said, tapping into his superpowers for emphasis. “I d-did the duel and got my ass beat w-while you ran away. P-plus, I froze time. That alone is dog player worthy.”

“We'll have to find a quick way to settle this gentleman,” Staress said, hands on hips. “How about this? Cadell, you must prank Leland within ten seconds starting now—”

Cadell pulled a chocolate cake out of a portal and hurled it.

“Redirect!” Leland shrieked. The cake rocketed back at Cadell who ducked out of the way.

“Ten seconds over,” Staress said. “Lee gets the dog.”

Leland shook his head with a smug smirk. “Did you really think that would work twice?”

“Yes,” Cadell said flatly. “That’s why I did it.”

----------------------------------------

Twenty minutes into playing Monopoly, Leland was convinced Staress was cheating even though they shared the same dice. She had already acquired three houses and had not been penalised once.

“Could we save them?” Cadell asked out of nowhere.

Leland looked up at the former vigilante, surprised at the question.

“No,” Staress answered. “Even if we stopped the preliminaries right now and transported them all back to their planets, they would be disqualified and their planets would be invaded. We can’t save everyone. You know that.”

The mood suddenly shifted, and they played in silence until a familiar figure hovered above them, scowling.

“Slugs,” Volengi said. “What are you doing? You’re supposed to be fighting your way through hordes of enemies to earn your place in the group stages.”

“Yo,” Staress said, not even bothering to look up. “Do you want to play Monopoly with us?”

Cadell rolled the dice. “Yes, a six! One, two, three, four, five, fuck.”

Staress cackled. “Pay up sucker.”

“You have to be cheating.”

“Y-yeah,” Leland agreed.

“What? It’s not my fault I’m blessed with luck!”

Volengi landed hard on the Monopoly board, sending pieces and fake money flying everywhere.

“Seriously?” Staress, Leland and Cadell exclaimed simultaneously.

“Killjoy,” Staress said.

“Typical hater,” Cadell said.

“Custom skin looking ass,” Leland added.

“Don’t forget your planet is at stake,” Volengi reminded. “Take this seriously.”

Staress tutted. “Remember what I said to you before about humans not preferring unnecessary conflict? Sorry to disappoint, but we’re simply not going to do anything we don’t have to do. The task was to survive, so we’re going to survive.”

“Surviving alone will not be enough,” Volengi said coldly. “This is a competition. Win, fight, and reach the finals or perish.”

“Worry about yourself,” Staress said. “I’m sure everyone will be hunting you down in the non-slug prelims.”

Volengi grinned widely and Leland recoiled, slightly creeped out. He’d never seen the alien exude such happiness before.

“That’s the point, human.”