Prologue

My eyes slowly cracked open. I glanced around the familiar room as my vision came into focus. Calling it a room was an overstatement; it was more like a prison cell, one meant specifically for me. I groaned in pain as I slowly sat up, the thin, tattered blanket falling away as I slowly stretched to try and alleviate some of my aching. I winced as I slowly stood up, careful to go slow so as not to pass out again. The last time I did, I didn’t wake up in time to start my chores and had what little dinner I received withheld for two days. I stumbled in the darkness, over to the small washbasin I was allowed, and shuddered as I splashed myself with the freezing water.

What am I even doing? Is there even any point? The unrelenting thoughts swirled through my mind, even as I went through the motions of putting on my threadbare servant's uniform. It was the same routine every morning. I left the darkness of my room behind and squinted my eyes against the bright magic lamps in the hallway. The shadows on the wall behind me slowly stretched as the first rays of the sun quietly crested the horizon. I walked my way to the supply closet, the beauty of the moment lost on me as I prepared myself for the day ahead. I win again, Mr. Sun. Better luck tomorrow.

Pulling the cleaning supplies I’d need throughout the day from their hiding spot, I suppressed the pain that shot through my arms. Even something simple like wiping the windows has started to become unbearable. Still, if I stop, I’ll be punished, So I force myself to continue. The day slowly passed, and I attended to my chores mindlessly, the same as every day for the last eight years.

“-ister, Sister!”

I turned with a start, snapping back to reality. “Good morning, Lady Sasha.” I quickly bowed, my body aching in protest.

“Please, don’t be like that. Nobody else is around.”

I relaxed slightly and straightened; it seemed it was still early morning, so most of the other servants weren’t awake yet. “I know I’ve said this before, Sasha, but there’s no need to get up so early.”

My little sister’s green eyes swam with concern as she looked at me. “This is the only time I get to see you without interruption!” she took a step closer, her soft brown hair swaying as she reached out and took my hand. Every day, It amazes me that she can look me straight in the eyes, even while being four years younger than me. “You look even worse than the last time I saw you…” Tears started to fill her eyes as she looked at me. Oh, what a miserable older sister I must be to her.

“It has been a few weeks… but I promise I’m okay.” I put on my best smile, but she obviously saw through my bluff.

“Please… let me help you.”

“You know that’s not a good idea.”

“But you’re going to collapse at this rate!” She moved to grab the washcloth from my hands, but I quickly moved away.

“Sasha, please… you’ll get scolded again if word gets back to the duchess.”

“I just don’t understand… you are a daughter of house Rose, just the same as I am. Why do they treat you like this?!” She bit her lip, trying to stifle the sobs threatening to bubble to the surface.

I rushed to comfort her, wrapping her in a hug, even as my body continued to ache. “As always, it makes me incredibly happy that you see me that way, even if you are the only one. That alone is enough for me to keep doing my best, so you need to do your best as well, right?” I felt her head slowly nod against my chest and quietly sighed in relief. Someday, she will have to forget about me. Sasha has an incredibly bright future ahead of her, and I refuse to hold her back. I owe her that much as her older sister.

I slowly pushed her away and wiped her tear-stained face. “You should head back to your room; you can still sleep a little longer. You need to sleep well in order to do your best.” She nodded and drew herself up with resolve.

“O-Okay, Sister! I promise that I’ll save you someday.” She quickly ran down the hall, and I giggled a bit as she tried to hide her sniffles. I caressed the locket hiding under my uniform and thought about that familiar promise as I went back to cleaning. Sasha’s been saying that for the last couple of years, but what can a twelve-year-old realistically do? Even if she is adorably cute.

My mother, Cecilia, was the first Duchess. I was never told directly, but I managed to piece together that my parent's marriage was one of convenience, and they did not care much for each other. She became frail after giving birth to me, but she loved me with all her heart. Whenever I visited her, she smiled happily and played with me. She’d always say that our fiery red hair showed our fiery personalities and that my blue eyes reminded her of her own mother. The first eight years of my life passed by blissfully while she was alive. Shortly after she died, my father got remarried to his lover and revealed I had a little sister. It seems my mother’s presence never deterred them from clandestine trysts.

My father was never interested in me as his daughter, and my new stepmother pretended I didn’t exist, but they adored Sasha. I kept to myself and did my best to stay out of trouble. That was until little Sasha appeared in front of my room one night. The four-year-old had been told a bedtime story about a pair of sisters fighting an evil witch, and one of her maids had let it slip that I was her sister. She pestered her maid to meet me, or so I was told. Starting that night, I read her bedtime stories and brushed her hair. I played with her and kept her company during the day. It almost seemed I managed to recapture some of the happiness I felt when my mother was alive. Then her mother found out, and I became an immediate target.

The new duchess started whispering in the duke’s ear, telling him lies about me. That I was bullying Sasha, his beloved daughter. It only took a couple of weeks to lose my little status left in the house. My personal maids were moved to other parts of the mansion. Then, I was informed I had to help with chores. Slowly but surely, I was treated more and more like a slave. The servants realized they could load their share of the work onto me without consequences and began doing whatever they wanted.

I cried for the first couple of weeks like the child I was, before I learned the hard way that it only got me punished. Everyone in the house conspired to keep Sasha away from me on the duchess's orders, and the few times we accidentally ran into each other, I was physically rebuked for it. Finally, my room was taken from me, and I was shown to my new prison cell. They couldn’t even grace me with the servant's quarters. It was a cold, dark storage room, so small I could touch both walls simultaneously.

And that’s how I’ve been living for the last eight years. I had to be up before anyone else and couldn’t go to bed until after. Even as I became numb to everything, the only thing keeping me going was a beautiful silver locket from my mother and Sasha's presence. She never lost her attachment to me as her sister and learned at some point that she could see me unhindered if she did so in the early mornings or late at night. I did my best to still be her big sister, even as I was working to the point of exhaustion and malnutrition. Those early mornings I got to see her and late nights I still sneakily read her stories. Her adorable innocence and love managed to keep a quiet flame burning inside me.

The time continued to move forward, regardless of my reminiscing. I did the laundry, mended clothes, and did the dishes. I moved on to dusting and sweeping the hallways when I caught sight of the duchess. I nervously bowed off to the side to let her pass, but the hem of her red dress stopped in front of me.

“Look who it is, the failure of house rose.” she quipped as she whipped her fan out. I stayed silent and squeezed my eyes shut. I did everything I could to stop from shaking and continued to bow. “What? You don’t even know how to greet me properly? how shameful!”

“M-My apolog—” I was interrupted by a sharp sting on my face and found myself on the floor. A spot of red blossoming on the carpet.

“I didn’t give you permission to speak, you lowly girl.” she motioned to one of her maids and quickly wiped her hand with a handkerchief. “Disgusting, now my hand is all filthy.” she tittered at me again, then noticed the blood on the floor and her face screwed up in revulsion. “Useless trash, just like your mother. I’m the one the duke loves, but that wretch stole him from me… I hope she’s burning in hell.” I’d grown used to her outbursts, but her words never ceased to sting my soul. “Leslie, ensure she cleans this up and gets no dinner tonight. Why should she get to eat when I’ve lost my appetite.”

“Of course, My Lady.” one of her maids stepped forward as I tried to stem the flow from my nose and began dabbing at the blood in the carpet. I desperately held back the tears burning at the back of my eyes.

“Some Duke’s daughter you are, Audrey. How does it feel to be below even the servants?” Leslie continued to mock me, but I couldn’t focus. Everything seemed to fade in and out as I struggled to get the last of the blood out. Leslie’s voice sounded muffled, and I dazedly looked up at her and noted that the duchess had continued on down the hall.

“What’s with that dumb look on your face? It pissed me off,” She delivered a sharp kick to my stomach, and I curled over in agony. I probably would have thrown up if there was anything in my stomach. I gasped for air as the maid stood above me, and then everything went black.

When I came to, I was back in my room, the cold floor chilling my whole body. I rolled over onto my back and cried silently, every sob racking my body with agony. I don’t know how long I stayed like that, unable to move in the dark. I might have even fallen asleep, but I was suddenly jolted by a knock on the door.

“Sister… Are you there?” Sasha’s sweet voice came through the door.

“I-I’m here.” I slowly crawled to the door and managed to sit against it to stop her from opening it fully. Coughs racked my body at the effort.

“Are you okay?!” she tried to push the door open, but I put everything I had into stopping it. I refuse to let her see me like this, even if it’s already too late for such concerns.

“I’m fine! I promise. Please, just stop trying to come in…”

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“A-Alright, if that’s what you want, Sister…”

“What time is it?”

“After dinner. Mother ranted about how she encountered you in the hall, and I got worried.”

“...”

“Have you eaten anything?”

“Y-Yes…” I didn’t want her to worry. I didn’t deserve her kindness.

“Please don’t lie to me! I heard that hesitation. Please, eat this at least.” She tossed some bread rolls through the crack in the door. I slowly reached out and grabbed one. It was unbelievably soft and warm, unlike the stale, moldy bread I sometimes steal from the kitchen trash bins. The scent alone caused my stomach to grumble impatiently, and I almost devoured it right then, but I held myself back.

“Thank you, Sasha… I love you so much.”

“Sister… I love you too!” She started to cry, and I mentally hit myself for causing her distress.

“It’s time to go to bed. You should leave now.” I whispered.

“Wait! Please! There must be something else I can do!”

“You know staying here won’t end well.”

“Please… Just let me in… let me see you.” she quietly hit the door, sobbing.

“No.”

“B-But—”

“I said no! Please, Sasha, just leave me alone!” I even surprised myself with how loud I was. I felt her stiffen with surprise, then take off running down the hall. I leaned back against the door, letting it latch close. I hung my head and took a small bite of the bread.

“It’s salty…” Tears ran unbidden down my face, mingling with the taste of the bread. I didn’t mean to lash out like that. I was trapped in a sealed room with no escape, and her kindness was the sole candle, the only illumination, yet suffocating me nonetheless. I felt consciousness slip from my grasp as the events of another meaningless day caught up to me. The bread rolled from my hand, barely more than 2 bites missing, as the world around me seemed to slip into shadow

***

All around me was darkness, but it wasn’t like my room's cold, desolate darkness. It was… comforting, somehow. I tried to move but couldn’t. I felt like I was floating. What a nice dream… I never want to wake up. I let my heavy eyelids close and took a deep breath. It’s been so long since I didn’t feel any pain.

“It isn’t a dream, My dear Audrey.” A soft voice resonated around me, almost like it came from inside my mind. I looked around but only saw the endless void. Suddenly, A white light flashed in front of me. When I blinked, there stood a woman with flowing silver hair flashing blue and purple with different angles that seemed to billow out around her. Her golden eyes held mine, radiating warmth. She wore a white robe that fit her perfectly, with a slit up on the side that exposed one of her slender legs.

“W-Who are you?”

“I am what you mortals call a Goddess.”

“A Goddess? Like from the scriptures?” I’d never actually read the scriptures, but one of Sasha’s favorite stories was a picture book detailing the world's creation.

“Exactly like that, dear. My name is Aurora, and I hold dominion over the night.”

“I think I understand… but what could you possibly want with me?”

“You see… A few humans are born every century with immense compatibility with the divine. And depending on their natural affinities, We Gods can bless them with some of our power.” she smiled gently at me. “And you, Audrey, have an affinity with me.”

I couldn’t fully wrap my head around her words and stared blankly at her.

“Why would you want someone like me? I’m weak and not good for anything.”

A sad look crossed her face. “It is true you’ve had a much harsher life than most, especially at your age. However, You persevered as long as you did precisely because of your innate potential… I fear most children would have perished long before you did.”

“W-Wait, what do you mean?”

“I hesitate to say it, but I mean to say that you are dead.”

My mind ground to a halt. “Dead? Wait… but!” I sputtered, unsure of what to say, but after my initial panic, I realized that I didn’t actually mind it all that much. “I see... So I’m dead, huh? I think that it’s probably for the best, then… Though I wish I could’ve said goodbye to Sasha.” Aurora only watched me, the sad look still on her face. “Wait, if that’s true, then why are you here? To bless me? Isn’t it a little too late for that?”

She slowly shook her head. “Not necessarily. We don’t usually know who our divine guardians are until around their twentieth birthday. Usually, One’s magic power doesn’t fully develop until then, at which point the physical body can no longer hide the affinity signature, and the relevant god will notice. However, because of your… untimely death, your soul escaped the body, and I was able to detect your affinity early.”

“That still doesn’t explain what you plan to do with me.”

“I have the power to return your soul to your physical body due to your magic being unstable. Normally, we can’t perform such a miracle, even for our guardians, because their magic power and affinity have had time to cement. It seems, however, that due to the abuse you've suffered, you're magic has remained unstable within your body, long past what is normal. Allowing me the opportunity to anchor your soul again with some of my divine power. But you have to want to go back wholeheartedly.”

I bit my lip. My immediate reaction was to say no. I’m tired, I don’t want to struggle anymore, and if I’m already gone, then what’s the point? What would even change? Sure, Sasha will be terribly sad, but she’ll be able to move on and eventually live a happy life without the shackles of a lesser older sister. Not to mention, for the first time in eight years, I feel warm…

“I just don’t… see a point. You said so yourself. My life has been hell. Who would want to go back to that willingly?”

“You may not see it now; you may not be able to fully believe. But there is an incredible destiny waiting for you. One that is fraught with peril and hardship, even more than what you’ve already faced, but if you face it earnestly, the reward will be well worth it.”

“That doesn’t sound very convincing…”

She tilted her head in thought, a gesture that only highlighted her otherworldly beauty. “How about this then?” she raised her arm and pointed a finger at me, and I was mesmerized by the silver light that coalesced on the tip. A small beam of light shot toward me, too fast for me to react. When it touched my forehead, I was assailed by images flashing too fast to fully grasp and voices too layered and garbled with each other to fully understand. But two voices stood out among the rest.

“Than… fo… thin…, Sister.”

“Audr… belov… ight… I… you…”

When the hallucinations finally faded, I inhaled sharply, trying to get a bearing on my surroundings. My head pounded from the sudden rush of information, and I glared at Aurora. She grimaced, averting her eyes.

“Sorry about that; I forgot how intense it can be for humans, and I haven’t had much chance to interact with the mortals recently…”

“I-I see.” I shook my head, trying to clear the remnant pressure I was still feeling. “Those voices… I thought I heard Sasha, but who… who was the other one?”

“What I just showed you were possibilities. Outcomes of fate depend on your actions. The people you heard… are those whose destinies are intrinsically tied to your own.”

“So, whether or not I decide to return, try again… Will affect the outcome of Sasha’s life. It seems that if I don’t go back, it will negatively affect their lives? Is that what you are implying?”

Aurora nodded slowly. “Yes, while their own choices still make a good outcome possible, even without you there, your presence will tip the scales in a more favorable direction.” Her gaze met mine. “But don’t think that I’m only saying this for them. I feel an incredible affinity with you as my guardian, and I want to give you a chance to be happy… to earn it with your own hands.”

I closed my eyes to think, Gripping my mother’s locket in my hand. It always brought me comfort when I needed it. Like she was still watching over me… What would she want me to do? I already know… she’d want me to be happy.

I exhaled slowly before opening my eyes and nodding at Aurora. “Okay, I’ll do it. I’ll be your divine guardian. If what you say is true, then I have to try my best.” I promised Sasha, didn’t I? Aurora clapped her hands and hopped a little, giggling happily. Her smile was radiant. I cleared my throat a bit, and she suddenly stopped, her ears turning red. She pretended to clear her throat as well.

“E-Excuse me. It’s just been so long since I’ve had a guardian; I let my excitement get the best of me.” she straightened her posture a little to try and reclaim some of her divine dignity. “I’ll send you back now. It seems some servants found you already, and they disposed of your body in the forest on the duke’s orders.” That was undoubtedly worrisome. Will everything really be okay? Aurora continued, almost in response to my unspoken question. “I’ll shine a guiding star for you. Just follow it, and you’ll find a road. You’ll also need this… eventually.” She stepped closer and lightly touched the locket around my neck. It glowed brightly, and I felt the divine power emanating from it before it seemed to go back to normal.

“W-What did you just do?”

“Nothing bad, I promise. Just a boon for you in the future. You’ll understand when the time comes.” I still had many questions but held back. It was time for me to rejoin the land of the living, and I needed to focus on that. Aurora stepped back, looking a bit gloomy, before suddenly wrapping me in a tight hug. I stiffened in shock at the unexpected contact but quickly relaxed in the warm embrace.

“G-Goddess?” I was unsure whether it’d be appropriate for me to return the hug, so my hands just hovered nervously over her back.

“I know you’ve been through more than anyone deserves. Keep fighting for what you want until the end. Know that I believe in you, Audrey.” Her serene whisper washed over my aching heart. It reminded me of my mother when she used to comfort me when I had a nightmare. A silver glow encapsulated my body as she let me go, a motherly expression on her face.

“Of course I will, Goddess. And thank you.”

I slowly sat up, the chill of the forest floor already creeping into my body. The familiar pain caused me to groan, but the associated dread I usually felt never came. I looked around but couldn’t see much due to the canopy of trees obstructing the moonlight. I stretched and stood up, nearly falling back to my knees but managing to steady myself on a tree. I searched the sky for the star and found it outshining everything else on the horizon. It seemed to wink at me happily, and I thought It matched Aurora perfectly.

“All right, time to give it your best, Audrey.” I psyched myself up and then started my trek into the forest. I didn’t know how long it would take, just that I’d get there eventually.