Chapter 30

“We should be getting there soon, Right?” I asked Lucia as I sat behind her. The last three days on the road had been uneventful, other than a couple more sparring matches between me and any knights who wanted to try to defeat me. The first match against Abel and Lucia made it clear I needed to shed my reservations, and I have yet to lose since.

“We should be able to see the border wall on the other side of that hill.” She gestured to a hill on the horizon. I guessed we’d be there in another hour or so at the pace we were going.

“So we have some time… I’m going to meditate for a while, then.” I said and closed my eyes when she nodded in acknowledgment. Ever since the first time I lost control the night Lydia was attacked, I had been too scared to practice with my stella in large amounts. After the incident on our first day against Abel and Lucia, however, I decided I needed to understand how to control my divinity to its full extent.

Focusing my mind inward, I leaned forward against Lucia’s back to stay balanced on the horse even as I relaxed my body. It was an exercise I had repeated countless times over the last three days, and I had been steadily making progress with Aurora’s help as I shut out the world around me and focused on the flow of mana and stella within my body.

“Slow and steady, my guardian,” Aurora said.

“I know you weren’t excited about me doing this, but I appreciate you helping me,” I said gratefully as I released pure stella, keeping the flow under control as it left my body. It wasn’t an easy task because once the stella moved, it became hard to stop if it wasn’t mixed with mana. My goddess could help a little through our bond, using her own divinity to stem the flow of my power slightly.

“I know how determined you are. I’d rather you didn’t end up hurting yourself.” She said. “The way you described losing control was concerning as well. Typically, when guardians lose control, it’s because they can’t stop their magic from activating. But they can still move of their own will, so we need to find out why you can’t.”

I dove deeper into the flow of stella, opening the flow slightly more and holding it when I felt my control slipping. I had two objectives with this training. The first was to increase the amount of pure stella I could utilize and figure out my limits before it overwhelmed me. The second was to find the source of that other presence that influenced my mind. So far, I hadn’t sensed the slightest trace of it, even as my control over the stella gradually increased.

I continued my exercises until I felt a hand on my shoulder, shaking me gently. “We’re here, Audrey. Time to wake up.” Lucia said teasingly. Reigning in my stella, I cracked my eyes open slowly, letting them adjust to the sunlight again.

“That was fast…” I mumbled as I got my bearings. Meditating always makes me lose track of time.

We were riding down the backside of the hill Lucia had pointed out to me before, meaning I had been doing my magic exercises for over an hour. Ahead of us sprawled the border wall, dividing the massive plains as far as the eye could see. Since we were elevated compared to the defensive line, I could see over the wall, and on the other side of the plains, I saw countless tents and banners flying the empire’s crest.

“That’s a lot of soldiers.” I breathed, watching the view disappear as we descended into the defensive camps.

“Indeed,” Lucia said grimly, and Abel steered his horse beside us.

“We’re outnumbered pretty heavily.” He said, his face serious. “That’s why we need to use everything we can to win this war.” He turned toward me. “We’re counting on you, Audrey.”

I only nodded at him because I wasn’t sure if anything I said right now would be convincing. I’m only one girl… But I’ll do everything I can to return to Lydia and Sasha. We were among the first to enter the camp since we were at the front. The soldiers that were already here lined up along the path to watch the reinforcements filter in. Even though the fighting hadn’t progressed beyond a few skirmishes, I could see exhaustion clouding everyone's faces.

Once we made it to the center of the camp, a soldier stepped in front of us and kneeled. “Your Highness, Lady Guardian. The generals are waiting for you in the command tent.” He said, his tired eyes looking up at us with hope.

“Thank you. You’re dismissed.” Abel said with a small smile before turning toward Lucia and me. “You two are with me. Let’s go. The soldiers will organize themselves.” He dismounted, and we followed suit, letting a nearby soldier take the reins of our horses as we walked toward the large tent in the center.

Lucia stepped in front of us, holding open the entrance so Abel and I could walk through, then followed behind us and took a spot near the wall. I followed Abel around the table, where a few gentlemen sat in simple wooden chairs, their eyes glued to us as we found our seats.

“Your Highness. We’re pleased to have you with us.” A man with peppered hair stood and said respectfully with his hand over his chest. “May I ask if this young lady is the divine guardian?” His eyes bore into me, and I resisted the urge to shrink under his gaze.

“Yes. This is Audrey, the divine guardian of night.” Abel said, introducing me. The older men all exchanged glances around the table before Abel interrupted them. “Is there an issue?”

“Not necessarily, Your Highness.” The man cleared his throat nervously. “It’s just… We weren’t expecting someone so young. We’re worried it might sow doubt among the ranks.”

The prince leaned back with a smile. “No need to worry about that. I planned on having her demonstrate her power to the soldiers after we were done with our initial briefing. Feel free to watch.” His attitude didn’t ease their worry, but the general moved the conversation on.

“If you that’s what you say, Your Highness.” He sat back down, gesturing at the maps on the table. “Currently, we’re still on orders to hold our defensive line. Our men have clashed with a few scouting parties from the empire, and we can confirm that their soldiers seem to be under some sort of strengthening magic. The imperial soldiers barely flinch at wounds that aren’t immediately fatal. I even witnessed one lose an arm and not even react to it.”

Abel leaned forward, earnestly listening to the report. “So, it’s much worse than what we initially thought…” He mumbled.

“Yes. The enemy shows no concern for themselves or their comrades. They move as if entranced.” The general said, his voice trembling with frustration. “Magic doesn’t seem to be effective against them either. Our strongest mages barely leave a scratch. If they descend upon us in full force, we won’t last more than a few days at best.”

“Entraced, you say?” Abel said thoughtfully. “The empire has been bolstering its army with the soldiers of its conquered nations. If there’s some sort of magic at play, it would make sense why those men and women are so willing to fight for their enemy…”

“We had the same thought. But when we finally managed to capture one of our enemies alive, we couldn’t figure out what was affecting them. There was no trace of mana on them at all.” I listened intently as the discussion continued, trying to puzzle all the evidence together in my mind, hoping I could be helpful.

A few minutes later, a bird suddenly shot through the entrance, landing on the table in front of Abel. Is it made of paper? He grabbed it gently, and as his hand glowed with mana, the bird unfolded into a pristine paper sheet. He took a moment to read it, a sigh of relief escaping him as he looked around the table.

“Yamada is sending reinforcements. We have orders to continue to hold our position until they arrive in two weeks.” The news sent a ripple through the generals. Some matched his relief, while others didn’t seem to like the prospect of waiting. That’s where Yuzuki is from, right?

“What are the numbers?” the same pepper-haired general asked.

“Five thousand troops and a hundred shinobi,” Abel replied. “This evens the playing field in our favor, but we’ll still have to be diligent until they arrive.” The other men all nodded in agreement before the prince spoke again. “We also have orders to initiate sabotage missions against their supply lines in the meantime.”

“Does the capital not think we’ll be poking the beast by doing that?” One general asked.

“The aim is likely to slow down their mobilization to buy us more time.” Another one countered.

Abel raised his hand to get their attention. “We’ll organize small units to handle those missions and make it look more like accidents than real sabotage.” After discussing which companies would take on these assignments, which included Anthony’s River company, the initial briefing ended. However, Aurora stopped me before anyone could leave.

“Audrey, ask if you can see the prisoners.” She said. It seemed my goddess had also come to the same theory I did while listening to the reports. I was a little nervous talking to the scary-looking general, but I took a deep breath and approached him.

“Um… Excuse me?” I said quietly, and the general with the peppered hair turned toward me.

“Ah, Lady Guardian. We meant no offense earlier. It’s the god's blessing to have you fighting with us.” He said, bowing slightly, and I tilted my head in confusion.

“I think he’s referring to your demonstration for the soldiers,” Aurora said.

“Oh. Don’t worry. I completely understand where you’re coming from. I was actually wondering if I could see the imperial soldiers you’ve captured.” I said, dismissing his concern.

He looked down at me and shook his head. “I’m afraid not. Whatever is affecting our enemies makes it difficult to restrain them long-term. They would do whatever it takes to free themselves to fight again, even if it meant hurting themselves. It wasn’t worth the risk, so we had no choice but to execute them.”

There was no sympathy in his voice as he spoke, and it made me a little nauseous. “I-I see. Will you let me know if we end up capturing more?”

“As you wish, Lady Guardian.” He said. “I am General Wheeler of His Majesty's royal army. Please feel free to find me should you need anything.”

“Thank you. I will.” I said simply, then joined Abel on the way out of the command tent.

“Maybe I’ll just go check out the enemy’s camp…” I suggested to Aurora.

“That’s a terrible plan, Audrey.” My goddess sounded exasperated. “Do you really think those two would allow that to happen?” I knew she was referring to Lucia and Abel, but I just smiled.

“Of course not. That’s why I wouldn’t tell them. Unless I can take them through the shadows with me?” I asked. The idea hadn’t occurred to me before, but it would change everything if I could transport other people.

“That’s an even worse idea. The space between shadows is filled with our divinity. If you tried to take a normal person, their mana would be overloaded instantly—Let’s just say you wouldn’t want that.” She explained. “Other divine guardians would be fine, though.”

“Other guardians, huh?” I hummed as I walked, Lucia and Abel slowing down to match my pace. They could probably tell by my eyes that I was having a conversation with my goddess, so they didn’t interrupt. “Can you tell me how many there are right now?”

Aurora hesitated at my question. “I can’t say for certain. The only deity I’ve contacted recently has been the god of death when I intercepted your soul last year. My sister and I usually keep to ourselves…” I could feel her sadness and worry as she talked about her sister.

“Her name is Azure, right? The goddess of the day?” I hadn’t been brave enough to ask for more details last time, but now I wanted to know. “Can I ask what happened?” When she went quiet, I quickly amended my words. “You don’t have to talk about it if it’s uncomfortable… You’ve always listened to my worries, and I just hoped to return the favor.”

“No… It’s about time I told you.” She said slowly. “But it should wait until we have some time alone. For now, focus on giving a good performance.” Her tone lightened up at the end, but I could still sense her anxiousness. I decided to drop the topic for now, focusing on my surroundings as we arrived at a temporary stage that was set up in a large clearing.

The simple wood platform creaked a little as the three of us climbed the short steps. It wasn’t raised much higher than the ground, but I could still see over the crowd of soldiers that had gathered in all directions to see me. Abel stepped forward and began to introduce me for the third time since the capital.

“This young woman here is Audrey, the divine guardian of night!” His voice rang out across the clearing, and I sensed a nearby soldier casting wind magic. They really like that spell…

“That’s her? She’s so pretty!”

“Her scarlet hair is breathtaking!”

“She looks the same age as my kid…”

I accidentally listened in through the shadows as the soldiers broke out into whispers, and my face flushed at the unexpected praise. But many still voiced doubts about my age and appearance being suitable for combat.

“Don’t let her beautiful appearance fool you. She may be inexperienced, but her strength surpasses even my own.” Abel continued. “She has defended the lives of the royal family on two separate occasions and bested a full squad of knights in mock combat while being ambushed by myself and another talented knight.” I still don’t know if I should accept what happened as my victory… Despite my self-deprecating thought, a flicker of movement caught my eyes, and I saw Anthony and his squad nodding in agreement at the front of the crowd. However, when my eyes met Hailey’s, she turned away with a huff.

Abel let his words sink in before giving me the spotlight. “Our divine guardian will now demonstrate some of her abilities.” He stepped back and gestured for me to start. I took a deep breath and did my best to ignore the thousands of eyes on me. It would be boring to do the same thing as before. With that in mind, I raised my hands and launched a thin stream of water above the crowd. I kept it floating in the air as it expanded over the soldiers, causing gasps to escape from their mouths. It took a few minutes before I was confident I had most of the soldiers under the water, and then I increased the water’s thickness by a few inches.

Hands started to reach out, brushing against the underside of the water ceiling I had created above them, and the sunlight cast moving shadows onto their faces. All that meditation the last few days is really paying off. While I’ve done something on this scale before, it felt noticeably easier to control now. Now, next is the shadows… I close my eyes to concentrate on my stella, willing shadows to form in the water. They took on various shapes of fish and aquatic mammals I remembered seeing in my textbooks at the academy.

More hands were raised from the crowd, all trying to touch the shadow animals as they swam around above their heads. Suddenly, all the water receded back to me and then spiraled into the sky. I infused some holy magic into the water, which drastically weakened its effects, but there were no injuries to heal, so I was just aiming to help relieve their fatigue and stress. The water rained back down lightly, the holy magic affecting those it touched.

Having lost their ocean, the shadow animals fell to the ground and began to dive between the solider’s shadows before they also retreated back to me, where they dissipated. After letting the holy rain fall for another minute across the clearing, I also canceled that spell, which left the faint glimmer of a rainbow shining in the sunlight.

The display wasn’t nearly as showy as the one I did in the capital, but everyone here has experience with magic. Even if they couldn’t use magic well themselves, they understood just how much power and control it would take for a single person to do what I just did. And thanks to the power of my holy magic, everyone seemed to look a lot better; their eyes were not as dim as when we arrived.

When I finished my display, silence filled the clearing. I looked around, trying to gauge my audience’s reaction. Turning to Abel for help was no use either, since he was just standing there with a smirk on his face. Oh no… Tears pricked at the edge of my vision. Maybe they would have preferred some attack spells? They are soldiers and knights, after all… The silence stretched on, convincing me more and more that my assumption was correct, but then a slow clap came from the front where Anthony and his squad were. The applause slowly spread from there until it turned into a roar of hollering and cheers.

“Our divine guardian is amazing!”

“Surely we can’t lose with such magic!”

“I’ve never seen the type of magic Lady Guardian used. What was it?!”

“I don’t know how, but my body feels light for the first time in weeks!”

“Did she give us a divine blessing?”

Too many conversations were happening all around me, so I closed my connection to the shadows temporarily, but the actual noise was still almost too much to bear. Abel and Lucia were grinning and high-fived each other like they were the ones who put on the show. It took a while for the crowd to settle down again, but when they did, Abel dropped a surprise in my lap.

“Now, if you’ll all listen up. Our divine guardian has prepared a speech!” Another short cheer followed his absurd statement before everyone’s eyes locked onto me again, this time with more enthusiasm.

“S-Speech? What speech? You said nothing about public speaking! I didn’t have to do this in the capital!” I hissed at Abel, but that damn soldier casting the amplifying wind magic was now using it on me, so my words echoed across the clearing. I froze in place, stuttering.

“W-Wait! Stop using that on me! You can’t just drop this on me, Abel!” My panic stopped me from learning from my mistakes, so once again, my floundering was loud and clear for every soldier to hear. But for some reason, everybody started laughing at me, which only served to bring back my tears of embarrassment.

“I’m telling Lydia and Auntie about this as soon as we get home!” I cried before turning back to the audience. The blood draining from the prince’s face was a satisfying piece of revenge. I should at least try to say something…

I cleared my throat awkwardly, giving the crowd my best smile, though I could feel my lips trembling.

“What do I even say, Aurora?” I asked, trying to organize my thoughts.

“Just tell them the truth about how you’re feeling.” Her advice was straightforward, but I didn’t know how to start. “Take a deep breath, then just say what you want to say, Audrey.” I could feel her supporting me through our bond, so I closed my eyes to recollect myself for a moment.

“First, let me start by saying that I’m just a normal girl.” The words started to spill out of me, and they refused to stop. “I may be blessed with divine power, but that doesn’t make me perfect. I’m still human, just as you all are.” I paused and bit my lip. “Truthfully, I’m scared of hurting people and scared of getting hurt. But like many of you, there are people I love waiting for me back in the capital. So, I'm choosing to fight.” I looked around the field in defiance of my fear. “I’m fighting so that they can look toward a brighter future. I ask that you lend me your support, and I will give you mine so that we can all return to those who are waiting for us.”

In the end, my feelings were relatively simple, yet they resonated with the soldiers as they all raised their weapons with a shout. Abel put a hand on my shoulder, patting it gently.

“Good work.” I nodded at his praise.

“Is it okay that it was so short? I couldn’t think of anything else to say.” I said sullenly, but he just shook his head with a smile.

“What matters is that your words reminded them of what we’re fighting for. Most of the soldiers here have been waiting day-by-day for the imperial soldiers to make their move finally.” Abel said. “While they weren’t physically tired, the paranoia takes a toll on the mind.” He looked around at all the soldiers who were starting to return to their posts, their expressions lighter than before. “Though, what you did with the water helped, too.”

I scratched my cheek. “I noticed how down everyone was… I didn’t know what else to do to help.”

“That sincerity means more than any elegant speech.” He said, then moved to leave the stage. “Now, let’s get settled in for the night. Dinner should be ready in an hour or so. I’m sure plenty of people are waiting for a chance to talk to you, so do your best.”

Getting to know all sorts of different people was pretty fun, and I’d done plenty of socializing on the road already. Though the amount of people is a little much… At least I don’t have to do all that polite conversation Lydia has to deal with. Aurora voiced her agreement, and then I left to join Lucia with a smile on my face. I wonder what’s for dinner?

The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.

***

The morning after Mother had traumatized Duchess Rose, my brother responded, acknowledging the orders sent out the previous day. A personal letter was included for the family, letting us know that all three of them were doing well and that Audrey had become quite popular among the soldiers and knights.

“That’s no surprise,” I said between bites of breakfast. “She was quite popular in the academy too… Not that she noticed.” Especially after the tournament, it became normal to hear whispers of her in the hallways from both boys and girls.

Mother and Father shared a smile. “Cecelia was oblivious when it came to that sort of thing, too. It must be hereditary.” Mother said with a wistful look. “I want Audrey to return soon. I miss my daughter…”

“I’m sitting right here!” I cried, my plate now empty.

“Apologies. I meant I miss the one that behaves.” We stared at each other for a moment before I looked away.

“That’s fair.” She smiled at my admission of defeat before sighing again.

“Maybe I should just go to the imperial capital, turn the emperor into an ice sculpture myself, and bring Audrey home.”

The thought made a shiver run down my spine. There’s a chance she could actually pull it off, too.

“Now, dear,” Father said placatingly. “We both know that’s not an option.” His voice had some finality, but it was lost as the conversation continued.

“I have no doubt Abel and Audrey will be just fine.” Luke joined in. “Knowing the two of them, the war will be over before we know it.” I only nodded silently. I hope that’s how it turns out. The worst-case scenario played in my mind, but I quickly shook it away.

“Let’s just focus on keeping the peace here so they have a warm home to return to,” Father said before standing up now that the meal was over. “We better get going, Luke. We still have endless paperwork to sift through…” He slumped a little in defeat as he left the dining room, my brother following him out.

Now that it was just me and Mother alone, I couldn’t help but complain. “I wish there was more I could do to help besides menial paperwork.” I looked over at Mother, who was sipping some tea elegantly.

“I have an idea, then.” She said with a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Why don’t I help you with all that combat training you’ve been neglecting?”

“W-What ever are you referring to, dearest mother?” I stuttered out, trying desperately to avoid her gaze.

“I’m sure if you use that brilliant brain in your head, you’ll figure out exactly what I mean, my dearest daughter.” Her words were playful, but her tone couldn’t be further from it. “Abel told me everything, including how you lost a sparring match to Audrey.”

“That snitch!” I hissed. “Even after I gave him my pudding!” My anger faded quickly under her icy stare, and I shrunk in my chair.

“Losing to Audrey is one thing, given her abilities. Neglecting to keep yourself in shape while at the academy is a whole different problem.” She stood up, having finished her tea, and walked around the table toward me. “One I intend to rectify.” Her hand landed on my shoulder, and I yelped in fear.

“T-That’s so cold, Mother! Please let go; I’m sorry! I’ll train, I promise!” I cried out, desperate to escape the freezing touch.

“I knew you’d come around.” She said pleasantly, her hand returning to normal human temperature. “Since we’re done eating, go change into some appropriate clothes and meet me on the field in half an hour.” She ordered, leaving me no room to argue. Mother then left, pausing one last time at the door to address Leah behind me. “Leah, dear. You have my permission to use force if she tries to run.”

Her parting words put a genuine smile on my attendant's face. “It’d be my pleasure, Your Majesty,” Leah said with a bow as Mother disappeared. With Leah as my warden, there was no escaping my fate now. “Let’s go get you ready, my lady.” She said, still excited as wind magic circulated around her hand threateningly.

“Yeah, yeah. I get it.” I mumbled, pushing out my chair and standing up. I’m sorry, Audrey… I may be the one that dies first.

***

Exactly half an hour later, I stood on the training field in a light and comfortable set of training clothes, my gold hair tied up in a tight ponytail. I anxiously waited for Mother as Leah observed me for any sign of fleeing. When Mother appeared, her own lady-in-waiting following behind her shot me a pitying glance.

Mother wore a similar set of clothing, and her yellow hair was also tied up neatly. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen her like this. Maybe it was boastful of me, but my mother struck an amazing image regardless of her attire.

“Alright, let’s just keep it simple for now.” Mother said, mana swirling around her hands as her attendant stepped off the field. “Magic only. I’ll start slow, so you at least have a slight chance of winning.”

I grumbled at her confidence but knew she was only being honest. Heat flooded my body as I circulated my mana in response. A real fight… The last time I did this was when I fought Audrey; it was the first time she used her divinity. Remembering the way she accidentally launched herself put a smile on my face. Suddenly, Leah called to start, and my eyes widened as an icicle filled my vision almost immediately. My reflexes kicked in as I leaned to the side, a painful sting radiating from my cheek as I barely dodged the attack.

“Do you really think you have time to get distracted?” Mother asked, her voice low and annoyed. “You would be dead right now if that was my intent.” I shook my thoughts of Audrey away as I jumped away from another icicle. My hand touched my face quickly, and I was a little shocked to see blood on my fingers from the cut.

“Wait! The barrier isn’t activated!” I shouted, blocking another ice attack with a fireball that just stopped the icicle's momentum. I watched in horror as the ice fell to the ground, hardly melting. That wasn’t my strongest flame, but still…

“You’re correct.” That was all my mother said as three ice arrows appeared before her and launched toward me. They spread out, coming at me from different directions as I processed the situation. “There are no safety nets in actual combat, Lydia. I’m sure Audrey has also learned a similar lesson by now.” Finally, the thought hit me. If I get hit at all… I was all too familiar with how strong my mother’s magic was, and even if she wouldn’t actually take my life, she was perfectly capable of making me wish she had.

She wants to prepare me for the worst. Watching the ice arrows, I shot myself upward with my flames at the last second, causing the projectiles to shatter against each other. My reeling mind slowly calmed down and focused sharply on my mother as she launched another volley of arrows at me in the air. My mana condensed as I fell, my hand swiping horizontally to launch a wave of blue flames to intercept. This time, my flames succeeded in shrinking their size. Still not enough!

As I landed, already preparing for the next attack, a sheet of ice appeared over the ground, flash-freezing my feet. I quickly pushed my magic to the affected area, biting back the cry of pain that threatened to escape me from the sudden temperature changes. The ice holding me in place cracked just in time for me to hit the ground as another icicle flew over my head.

I have to take control! If my mother continued to decide the pace, I’d never win. I gathered my mana, rolled away from another projectile, and then unleashed my flames in a massive burst all around me. The blue flames reclaimed some of the ground from the ice, and I could feel myself warming up again. Rolling smoothly to my feet, I began to run parallel to her across the field. She hasn’t moved an inch! My jaw clenched in frustration, but I continued to dodge her relentless barrage of attacks, using my magic to keep the creeping ice at bay.

“I know this isn’t the best you can do, Lydia!” She said, her arm waving to send a flurry of sharp snowflakes my way. My heels dug into the dirt as I surrounded myself with heat to block the widespread attack. “Where are those white flames you’re so proud of?! You have to focus on using them, Right? So focus!”

Some of her attacks managed to breach my barrier, cuts appearing on my arms and legs. If it were that easy, I would’ve used them already! It was true my white flames were much stronger than the blue ones I was using right now, but I was having difficulty condensing my magic enough under the pressure of her bloodlust. I had used them flawlessly against Lucia and Audrey, but those had been safe sparring matches.

Focus! I berated myself, even as I began to lose ground again. My flames weakened as my mother ramped up her magic even more. Regret began to flood my system as I realized I couldn’t do it. I didn’t have enough control to utilize my magic correctly, and as reality hit me, I lost all confidence in my ability to fight. I can’t do it…

My defense dropped, and I screamed in pain as an ice arrow pierced my shoulder. I gripped the wound as I curled on the ground in agony, silent tears falling from my eyes. The attacks stopped immediately, the surrounding ice disappearing as Mother ran to me, our attendants just a half step behind her.

“Lydia!” She cried as she cradled me in her arms, her ice-blue eyes filled with concern. The arrow was still embedded in my shoulder, and I could feel it had pierced all the way through. Luckily, my mother’s attendant could use healing magic and crouched down, her mana already flowing. Once my mother confirmed the healing magic was primed, she dissolved the arrow, and the pain started to recede as the healing magic did its job.

“Why did you drop your guard, you foolish girl!” She said, her voice more worried than angry as I wept silently in her arms. “Does it still hurt? Use more healing, Claudia!” But I shook my head to stop them. The pain was gone. That wasn’t why I was crying. It was the realization that I had become weak.

The other three women just watched with concern as I continued to sob against my Mother. After a few minutes, I recollected myself, wiping my face.

“I-I’m sorry. Can we go again?” I requested as my face set with determination. “It’s clear that I can’t protect myself. I need to grow back to how I was before.” I’ve grown complacent with Audrey’s presence. My whole life, I’d put on the strong, stubborn princess act because I wanted to prove myself. I felt I needed to be more than a princess for my family and society, even if I knew they didn’t feel the same. When Audrey became a part of my life, a shallow desire to be protected infested my heart, and as our relationship grew, so too did that feeling. I’ve grown complacent with Audrey’s presence. It felt like I had taken for granted that my girlfriend would always be around.

We promised to protect each other… How can I do that as I am now? I fully realized the depth of my naivety now. Even if my family had allowed me to accompany Audrey to the battlefield, I would’ve only hindered her. A self-deprecating smile crossed my face.

“Please, Mother… I realize how much I’ve disappointed you. As both a princess and your daughter.” I forced myself to stand up, still shaking from my whirling emotions. “I need to be able to protect my family…”

“My foolishly stubborn daughter.” Mother shook her head with a sad smile. “That wasn’t what I was trying to imply in the least.” She stood as well, her hands cupping my face. Her hands are so warm… “It’s true that you may have allowed yourself a little too much comfort since meeting Audrey, but neither I nor your father have been disappointed in you for a second.”

I tried to look down to avoid her reassuring words, but her hands held my head firmly in place. “You are my only daughter, Lydia. I’ve been nothing but proud of you, and I’ve always known you would do great things. That belief has only grown since Audrey joined our family, so there is no need for regret.” My mother smiled at me with pure sincerity. “What’s important is knowing when you’ve strayed and the willingness to return to your destined path.”

I slowly absorbed her words before nodding again with relief. “Thank you, Mother. Please let me show you that your faith in me isn’t misplaced.” I grabbed her wrists gently, lowering her hands and taking them in mine. “Will you help me?” The request was redundant, but I felt it was vital for me to make it nonetheless.

“Of course.” Was all Mother said as she squeezed my hands. We stared at each other for a moment before we both laughed. Claudia checked on my wound again, just to be sure, but only a slight scar remained. I’ll have Audrey heal it when I feel worthy again. Then, I separated from my mother and faced her across the field again. Mana swirled around the two of us as we waited for Leah to start the second round.

I’ll do whatever it takes to be who Audrey and my family know I’ll become.

***

A few days have passed since we arrived at the border. I sat on the massive stone brick wall, looking towards the enemy encampment, the wind tousling my red hair gently as I talked to my goddess.

“I’m going to go tonight, I think,” I stated.

“It’s still not a good idea,” Aurora said, exasperated.

“Hey, you’re the one that wants me to examine one of their soldiers. I’m just following your orders.” I shot back with a smile.

“Yes, but you know full well I wasn’t telling you to infiltrate the camp of thirty thousand enemy soldiers!”

“Well, there are no prisoners for easy access, so this is the best option!” I defend, perfectly aware that plenty of other options posed less risk.

“Not even you believe that!” She argued. “You just want to end this war quickly so you can rendezvous with your princess!” She totally pegged my motivation, but I just shrugged it off.

“It will be good for intel! The generals said that the imperial supply lines were well hidden, and they couldn’t confirm the routes. If I sneak in and figure it out, It will make the sabotage missions much easier!”

My goddess scoffed at my excuse. “More like you’re hoping the emperor is there and makes an easy target!” Again, she was right on the mark.

“A girl can dream, right? Even if he isn’t here personally, I’m sure there are some generals I could assassinate to cripple their army.” My casual attitude about killing made me shudder a bit, but I no longer had that hand-stopping reservation. If I must kill, I’ll do so to protect.

Sensing my feelings on the matter, Aurora paused. “Audrey…” I heard her sign in resignation, but I always knew she would come around. “Fine, with one condition.” I quirked an eyebrow at her request. “You’ll tell Lucia at least, and you have to promise not to leave the shadows for anything while there.”

“What will you do if I don’t agree?” I asked. Her terms were perfectly reasonable, but I couldn’t resist the urge to push her buttons a little.

“You’ll get nothing but a cold shoulder from me for a week!” Her threat was so childish it was hard to believe it was coming from a goddess. “Hey! I have nothing else to leverage against you!” She cried as she sensed my thoughts.

“Apologies, my goddess,” I said, putting on my best noble voice. “I shudder at the thought of losing your company for so long.”

“Don’t patronize me, Audrey!” She huffed, and I couldn’t help but laugh aloud. Her presence in my mind had become such a staple for me that I actually was a little scared to lose her voice, even temporarily.

“Alright, I promise to tell Lucia and to be careful,” I said, sending my honest feelings through our bond to reassure her. “I have no intention of putting myself in needless danger.”

She sighed again. “I know, Audrey.” We sat in silence for a while, and then I closed my eyes to meditate for a bit. Despite the surrounding armies, the windswept plains were quite peaceful. It certainly beats the back of Lucia’s horse. My mind sunk into the flow of mana and stella circulating my body, closing off the world around me. The familiar feeling of weightlessness washed over me as my consciousness floated through my magic and divinity. Over the last few days, I had started to sense that strange presence again vaguely, so now I was trying to pinpoint it.

Who are you? The question echoed through my mind as I searched. I didn’t quite understand how, but I felt like this other presence within myself was lonely. Let me find you. Again, my request was met with silence, but as I dove deeper into myself, the presence was slowly getting stronger. Suddenly, I realized I could no longer feel my goddess through our bond. Panicked, I let my mind resurface until I could sense her again.

“Aurora? What was that?” I asked, my heart beating with worry still.

“If I had to guess, you delved so deep into your mental landscape that not even I could follow you.” She said, her voice surprisingly calm. “There’s no need to worry. Our bond isn’t so fragile to break for no reason, and I can still connect to your physical body even if your mind slips away briefly. Did you figure anything out?”

Her reassurance calmed me down, and I shook my head. “No… I panicked because you disappeared, but next time, I’ll keep going. I feel like I’m almost reaching whatever it is inside me.”

“Good, but that’s enough for today. You have someone waiting for you.” She said vaguely, so I let myself wake up from the meditation, my eyes opening to find Hailey sitting awkwardly beside me on the wall.

“Hailey?” I asked, slightly confused since she’s been avoiding me like the plague since we met.

“L-Lady Guardian!” She stuttered, surprised that my eyes were open. “Apologies, I didn’t interrupt, did I?” she asked, her voice trembling. It still felt weird having someone older than me speak so respectfully, but I’ve learned over the last week just to let it go.

“No, I was just meditating,” I explained. She only nodded, then looked toward the imperial camp as an awkward silence fell over us. What is happening right now? Hailey kept shifting awkwardly, like she wanted to say something, but kept stopping herself. As I resolved to break the tension, she finally turned toward me again.

“I just wanted to apologize.” When I tilted my head in confusion, her face flushed slightly in embarrassment. “I’ve been treating you harshly, and you didn’t deserve it.” Now I’m even more lost.

“Harshly?” I asked. “When did that happen?”

She pulled her knees to her chest, shrinking in on herself. “You know… I’ve been brushing you off when you try to talk to me and avoiding your gaze. Things like that.” Her voice got quiet as she spoke. “I’m truly ashamed. It’s no way for a knight to behave.”

I stared at her in disbelief. “That’s—”

“I know it was unbecoming of me. It’s no excuse, but I’ve been dealing with my own frustrations, and when someone even younger than me showed up and beat me so easily, I didn’t know how to handle it.” Hailey continued to talk, not letting me get a word in. “It was presumptuous of me to compare myself to a powerful noble like yourself. I hope you’ll forgive me for my attitude.” Her eyes were filled with sincerity, but her assumptions were so far off the mark that I couldn’t stifle the laugh that escaped me. “L-Lady Guardian?”

“S-Sorry!” I wiped a tear of amusement from my eye and smiled at her. “You’re a kind person, Hailey. But you have me all wrong.” I don’t know why she was worrying about something like this after my bumbling on stage the other day. “I’m a noble in name only. So you don’t have to worry about offending me or whatever. Honestly, you’d have to hit me a couple of times before I even started to think you disliked me.”

“I wouldn’t dream of doing something like that!” She denied hastily, waving her hands.

I gave her a rueful smile. “Well, you wouldn’t be the first.” Noticing her shocked expression, I quickly changed the subject. “The point is that you don’t have to be so stiff with me. I’d like us to be friends if that sounds good to you.” I stood up and held out my hand to her again, hoping she wouldn’t walk away this time.

She looked up at me for a moment before grabbing my hand and letting me pull her up. “I’d be honored, Lady Guardian.”

I smiled playfully at her formality. “That’s not going to work. Friends use each other’s names. Please just call me Audrey.” She returned my smile, her cheeks tinged pink.

“Of course. I look forward to being your friend, Audrey.” We basked in the warmth of our newfound connection before an awkward realization hit me. How do we end a heartfelt moment like this?! Another minute passed, and we were still holding each other’s hands. I cleared my throat stiffly and let go, turning away to hide my embarrassment.

“Well then… I think I’ll meditate some more.” I said, and Hailey nodded at me in understanding.

“Of course. I need to go help the squad prep for lunch anyway.” With that, she left, and I leaned against the crenulations facing the imperial camp, quite pleased with myself. A moment later, there was a whoosh of water, and I turned around to see Lucia pulling herself smoothly over the wall behind me.

“You know there are stairs, right?” I teased.

“Obviously. I just didn’t want Dame Hailey to know I was eavesdropping.”

“But you clearly wanted to tell me.” I pouted. “How long were you there?”

“Since the beginning. I was coming to check on you when I saw her climbing the stairs. I especially like the way it ended.” She said with a smirk as she joined me. So she heard everything, great.

I just shrugged, trying to act cool. “Well, I’ve just been mediating and keeping an eye on them.” I gestured toward the enemy. “But you have good timing since I needed to fill you in on my plans tonight.” After taking a few minutes to explain my infiltration plan, she just stared at me blankly.

“Are you insane?”

“Wow, rude.” I scoffed. “I’ll be perfectly safe.”

“That wasn’t what I asked. No sane person would want to put themselves in the middle of thirty thousand enemy soldiers. Magically enhanced ones at that!” Her eyes were wide and judgemental, and I didn’t appreciate it.

“It’s for the sake of winning! I just want to return home as soon as possible.” I defended.

“More like you want to return to Her Highness’s bed.” She huffed, and my face flushed.

“So what?!” I asked. “Excuse me for preferring the company of my girlfriend and a soft bed over the hard ground!” I pointed at her accusingly. “At least you have Abel here!”

This time, her face heated at my insinuation. “I-I don’t know what you mean!” She turned her head away and folded her arms, but I continued my attack.

“Don’t play dumb; I saw the way you reacted when he held you in his arms! You two have been spending an awful lot of time together these last few weeks ‘training.’” I purposefully made air quotes with my hands, and she slapped at them in defiance.

“We were just doing real training! I would never dare to overstep my bounds as a knight of the royal guard!” We started to slap at each other’s hands childishly as we fought.

“What, did his manly strength make you swoon?” I asked.

“That’s not the only reason!” She fired back, and I smirked at her in triumph.

“So you admit you do feel something for him!” Lucia fell back a half step in shock, her sky-blue hair swishing as she shook her head.

“N-No! That wasn’t what I meant!” Pushing my advantage, I chased her.

“Oh? Then what did you mean?”

“I just meant that I respect His Highness! That’s it!” It was apparent she wasn’t even convincing herself.

“I mean… I totally get why you would fall for him. Abel is pretty attractive and strong.” I said casually.

“Y-Yes… he’s also surprisingly reliable and charming…” She agreed, adding more than necessary. “Even with his strength, his touch is gentle.”

“You like his touch, do you?” I teased. “Do you really think you’re fooling me?” Lucia looked away in shame.

“It’s just a fleeting admiration! It’s not like I’m in love with him or anything!” She grabbed my hand and brought it to her chest. “Promise me you’ll keep this secret, Audrey?” Her eyes were pleading, and I couldn’t look away. I resisted the urge to push further and raised my free hand in surrender.

“It’s not like I was going to spread gossip,” I said. “In return, you're not allowed to tease me about Lydia while we’re here!”

“That’s fair…” she said sullenly. Now that we had come to a truce, she returned to the original topic, her eyes looking toward the imperials. “Are you really going all by yourself?”

“It will be fine. I’m perfectly safe in my shadows, and my goddess made me promise not to take unnecessary risks.” I reassured. “I’m just going to scout for their supplies and see if I can’t figure out what’s affecting them.”

Lucia bit her lip in uncertainty but agreed to let me go. “Fine. With your abilities, you will be much safer than a normal scouting party, at least.” She held up a hand to stop me from celebrating. “When are you planning to go?”

I looked at the sky. The sun was starting to lower from its peak. “In a few hours, I was planning to use the shadows from sunset to be extra safe.”

She nodded in approval. “Sounds like a plan, but if you don’t return by midnight, I’ll tell His Highness. I’m sure the two of us will stage a rescue attempt for you, so if you don’t want us to be in danger, don’t be late.”

“That’s an odd threat…” I mutter. “But effective, I guess. I won’t stay longer than I need to.”

“Good. What are you doing until then?” she asked, her tone much lighter than before. “I heard some of the soldiers organizing a soccer match earlier. What do you say we reinforce the other lady knights?”

“A sports game, huh?” I’ve never played, though I have heard about soccer. “Soccer is where you kick the ball around the field and try to score points, right?”

“Yep. It’s pretty simple. Want to go?”

“Why not?” I shrugged, then followed her down the stairs and into the camp. Part of me wanted to stay and meditate some more because, for some reason, I felt Lydia was working hard in the capital. But I also knew it was important for me to relax as well, so I allowed myself some time to play with the other soldiers.

As it turns out, I’m surprisingly good at soccer!