Chapter 18 - Interlude: Sasha

“How could they!?” I cried in frustration. My maid, Anne, tried to wipe my tears, but I pushed her away. We were alone in my room, and she was the only one I could trust my true self to, aside from my sister. But she’s gone now… “Sister…” I let the tears roll down my face, my usually composed emotions now running rampant.

I hadn’t been able to find her around the mansion for nearly two days when I finally heard the news. Anne had listened to some servants whispering about it.

“My lady… I’m so sorry.” Anne said with a pained expression. A part of me still couldn’t believe it. Apparently, Audrey had starved to death, locked away in that abysmal dungeon. Once her body had been discovered, she had been unceremoniously tossed out in the woods for the animals to take care of. I should have stayed with her! Why couldn’t I protect her!?

My mind flashed to our last conversation through the crack of that damned door. My sister’s voice had been laced with so much anguish as she begged me to leave—I shouldn’t have listened to her! My fist clenched in anger.

“It’s their fault…!” I had been raised to be the perfect noble, and my parents only praised me conceitedly.

“That’s to be expected of you. Strive to do better.” Father always told me.

“Do you really expect to find a good husband like that?” Mother would scold. Even before Mother and I came to live at the duke’s mansion, she was only ever concerned about her status and wealth, and my father only saw me as a tool to use to further his own ends.

“Nothing I did was ever good enough for them! And now they’ve gone and taken the only person that loved me away!”

One of my favorite books tells the story of sisters overcoming an evil witch, and one night, my maids accidentally told me of her. Naive as I had been back then, I ran around the mansion, knocking on and opening every door I could find until I found my sister. I still remember her bright scarlet hair and shining blue eyes. At the time, I hadn’t realized how much Audrey was already suffering. The first duchess had passed away only days prior, and her status as the duke’s daughter was already slipping away.

“Are you my big sister?” I asked excitedly.

“S-Sister?” my four-year-old self hadn’t sensed the worry and bewilderment in her voice as we spoke for the first time. I looked to the maid who had let the secret slip, and she nodded reluctantly.

“You are! Um, I’m Sasha, and I’m four! Will you read with me?” I raised the storybook above my head as I made my request.

“O-Oh, I guess that’s fine…” She moved to let me enter her room and gestured for me to sit on the bed. My sister seemed uncertain as she sat next to me. “You just want me to read it aloud?”

“Yes! But I can’t see the pictures if we sit like this!” She let me guide her as I sat her upright against the headboard, and she yelped in surprise as I placed myself between her legs and wrapped her arms around me with the book in hand. “See? Now we can both see!”

Looking back, I could tell she was uncomfortable, but she still diligently read to me. Storytime became a regular occurrence for us, and as time passed, my sister began to smile more. Her touch became gentler as she brushed her fingers through my hair. Eventually, we truly became sisters.

But nothing lasts forever, especially the good. My mother, who, unbeknownst to me, held a grudge against the first duchess, despised her stepdaughter. She did not allow our closeness, and soon, I found myself steered away from my sister at every opportunity. Our meetings became more infrequent, yet even as she was slowly pushed out of her own home by my mother and her followers, my sister never once blamed me.

When we could meet, she still did her best to dote on me. The love in her eyes never changed, only becoming tinged with regret and agony as her beautiful red hair dulled and her body succumbed to malnutrition. Watching Audrey wither away, day by day, year by year, finally made me see the truth.

My parents were cruel people, and now that I knew how unconditional love could feel, I knew I’d never felt it from them. The servants were no better, slacking off and blaming my sister. I did my best to help her, sneaking food away from the dinner table and trying to cheer her up with my company. I was only a child, but so was she! My sister was only four years older and had to suffer so much.

As memories surfaced, my grief gave way to something stronger. I’ll make them pay… Rage coursed through me and mixed with my wails of sorrow. “I didn’t even get to say goodbye!” Anne pulled me into a tight hug, tears of her own leaving tracks on her face. I’ll get my revenge, and then… I’ll see my sister again…

Eventually, I exhausted myself and wearily climbed into bed. I couldn't so much as walk and sent Anne away so I could rest a while. Dreams of my sister danced through my head as I drifted off, a fresh reminder of the warmth I lost.

***

My body felt heavy the following day, but my mind was fresh. I began to formulate plans in my head. I will avenge my sister… but how? I was only twelve, after all. I could hardly hope to overpower either of my parents as I was.

I’ll slowly bide my time to earn Father’s trust until an opportunity presents itself. I couldn’t do anything now. But in three years? Five? Even if it took decades, I knew I would wait patiently. Luckily, I’ll soon be starting at the academy, where I’ll be able to learn even more things and get out of this cold mansion. I’ll play the perfect daughter, the perfect noble lady, and grow until I can kill them both with my own hands. I was aware that my thought process was flawed, but I didn’t care, and I’m sure Anne would be horrified if she knew what I was thinking.

It didn’t take long for me to perfect my facade, and the weeks blurred together until the day I left for the academy. I hid my disgust as I bid farewell to my parents from the carriage.

“Make sure you make friends with lots of nobles! Oh, but only those of higher status, nobody below an earl is worthy of the Rose’s friendship!” My Mother’s shrill voice stung my ears, but I maintained a calm expression.

“Sasha.” I turned towards my Father. I had reigned in my urges to hurt them since my sister died, but I still couldn’t bear to be around them long. “I had a pleasant conversation with the first princess. She’ll be your senior at the academy. You will forge a connection with her.” His order made me sick, but I only nodded.

“Understood, Father, Mother.” Waving goodbye drained the last of my energy as the carriage pulled away. I slumped into my seat, sighing as Anne looked at me worriedly.

“Are you feeling alright, my lady?” She asked, and I fixed my posture in response.

“Yes, I just got homesick already.” While I trusted Anne more than the other servants, she was still under my Father’s employ, so I couldn’t let too much slip in case she reported back to him.

“If you’re sure, my lady.” Her voice sounded sad, but I brushed it off as I watched the town pass by around us. We arrived at the academy a while later, and the driver joined the line for the security check.

I heard a commotion outside and knocked on the window to ask the driver what was happening.

“Apologies, Lady Rose. The servants on the carriage in front of us are bickering.” How unsightly… I poked my head out the side window, intent on scolding whoever was letting their servants do as they please, when my eyes landed on the crest of the carriage. That’s the royal family’s!

A knight with long sky-blue hair soon jumped off the driver's bench and opened the door to the main compartment.

“Are you sure it’s okay for me to join you, my lady?” the knight asked before entering the carriage. I couldn’t hear the occupant's response over the din of the surrounding carriages, but only one person could be in there. Is the princess really that lenient with her attendants? I closed the window and looked at Anne. Would I be able to treat her like that?

I got lost in my thoughts, and we eventually made it through the academy gates. Anne took directions to my new dorm room, where we discovered a uniform waiting for me. My maid quickly helped me change, tying a black ribbon around my collar that signified my status as a first-year.

“You look amazing, my lady,” Anne said as she looked over my outfit a final time.

“Right… thank you, Anne.” I couldn’t bring myself to truly accept the compliment. I wish my sister could’ve seen me in my uniform. We left for the opening ceremony, joining the multitude of other students. Once we arrived at the gymnasium, I stopped my maid from leading me to the front of the crowd, Opting to stay in one of the darkened corners. I knew I would eventually have to start socializing and fulfill my role as a Duke’s daughter, but I wanted to put it off for a bit longer.

This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

The lights in the room dimmed, leaving only the stage illuminated as the headmaster took the stage and welcomed the new students. His speech was incredibly boring until he announced that the princess would speak as student council president.

A flash of gold drew my focus as a petite young lady took the stage. Her long blonde hair shone under the lights, and even from my position in the back, I could make out her emerald eyes.

“Hello, everyone. I am first Princess Lydia Venyth, but you may call me Lydia while I’m at the academy.” Her voice was bright and clear, and the words she spoke didn’t seem to carry the same deceit I felt in me as she encouraged familiarity with the student body. The princess’s gaze moved continuously over the crowd, never stopping in one place for too long as she continued her speech.

I couldn’t help but be impressed as I listened intently to her. The princess was masterfully wrapping the crowd around her finger. Everything about her expression and sincerity radiated warmth and reminded me of my sister. She exists in a different world… Father told me to get close, but she seemed so dazzling. I didn’t know if I had the strength to drag her into the same darkness I lived in.

A few minutes later, the princess finished her speech with a flourished bow and left the stage. In a few hours, there was to be a welcome party for the new students, so I followed Anne back to the dorm room so I could once again change outfits.

On the way, I froze momentarily as I glimpsed some scarlet hair among the crowd. By the time I came to my senses, I could no longer see who it was.

“My lady? Is everything alright?” my maid asked, worried.

Shaking my head, I continued walking. “Apologies, let's be on our way.”

***

How long can I keep this up? My lessons hadn’t prepared me for how exhausting real parties could be. An endless stream of students, including many older students, lined up to greet me. The ‘Rose’ name brings me nothing but trouble… As I cursed my family in my head, I maintained pleasantries with everyone around me, being careful not to let my true feelings show.

I want to go back to my room, but I have to stick it out for Audrey. Eventually, when the continuous flow of people slowed, the remaining crowd parted as the princess appeared in front of me.

“Your Highness,” I said with a curtsey. Forgive me for not greeting you first. I haven’t had a chance to get away.” She eyed me for a few moments and nodded to herself as if coming to some conclusion.

“I completely understand, Lady Sasha. I’ve been quite swamped myself.” I faked a smile in response.

“I suppose you were. I even lost sight of you for a few minutes.” I suppressed the urge I felt to end the conversation right there. It felt like the princess was analyzing me as we spoke, sending shivers down my spine. It makes sense. From what I know, the royal family isn’t exactly fond of Father… How does he expect me to earn her trust?

She giggled softly. “That wouldn’t surprise me. I would love to speak with you more, but now isn’t the right time for a prolonged conversation. Would you like to join me for tea this coming Saturday?”

Her sudden invitation flustered me, but I did my best to hide it. “Of course, Your Highness. I’ll look forward to it.”

“Oh, I prefer you to call me Lydia on campus.” I ignored the playful wink she sent my way and decided to end the exchange. I can tell she’s going to be exhausting…

“Well, Your Highness. It seems some people are still waiting to talk to you, so I’ll take my leave now.” I turned and walked away without even hearing a response. It was a small, unimportant act of defiance against my father, but I decided to keep myself away from the princess. I’ll just tell Father that Her Highness wasn’t interested in me.

I had no interest in trying to manipulate the royal, not when she reminded me so much of my sister.

***

“How have you been adjusting to academy life so far?” I had been dreading this tea party all week, and here it was. As I spoke with the princess alone, with only our servants present, I doubled my efforts to keep my guard up.

I had noticed at the ball but the princess was incredibly shrewd, and it made me nervous about what she could possibly want from me. I gave a safe response, and the conversation quickly fizzled out, leaving the room in empty silence. W-What do I say?

The stress was freezing my thoughts. No matter how many lessons I had taken, putting everything I learned into practice wasn’t easy. It was all I could do to maintain a neutral expression when she asked me to join the student council.

She probably wants to use me for my name, right? But she dashed my assumptions when I unconsciously voiced them. Instead, she praised and evaluated me based on my efforts, not my lineage. Even when the princess acknowledged that my status was a small part, I couldn’t be angry. She’s very honest… like my sister. No! Stop comparing them!

The job itself was gratifying. Even a new student like myself could impact decisions. The idea of having some control over my own life enticed me to agree. Even if it doesn’t last forever, maybe I don’t have to be a puppet every moment while I’m here.

“I accept,” I said. Honestly, I was a bit excited about my new role, but I continued to keep my expression in check. We talked some more about small things relating to the school and council work, and I felt my guard start to slip until she said something unexpected.

“Ah. I also heard the sad news recently.” Her words washed over me like cold water.

“What do you mean?” I did my best to keep my tone level, but there was only thing I could think of.

“The Duke mentioned your older sister’s passing the last time we spoke. I just wanted to offer my condolences.” Why are you bringing her up?

“Yes… That is true.” My gaze flicked to Anne standing against the wall. I had to keep my emotions in check in case she had orders to report back to Father.

“Were you two close?” Again, her question hit me hard. I don’t want to talk about this.

“We were… She taught me a lot. I miss her every day…” I felt that would be an appropriate response for someone in my situation, though my true feelings were so much darker. I suddenly looked up as the princess gasped.

“My apologies. It was rude of me to bring it up so suddenly.” She seemed to have picked up on my discomfort with the topic, and I breathed a sigh of relief. I made a show of looking at the clock. Being in the same room suddenly felt oppressive, like I was struggling to breathe.

“It is alright, Your Highness. If I may, I’d like to take my leave now.” After giving her some parting words, I stepped out into the hall, resisting the urge to slump against the wall. Nobody has tried to talk to me about Audrey since she died… I hadn’t realized how hard it would be to speak of her. My parents and the mansion staff had long cast my sister away. Now, they were pretending like she had never existed to begin with.

“Let us return to the room, Anne. I need some rest.”

“Of course, my lady.”

***

I soon started working on the council and was pleasantly surprised to find the other members quite calming to be around despite their constant fighting. I did my best to maintain a professional distance from the princess, but the more we interacted, the more I began to speak of my sister on my own.

It was entirely possible that it was only a way for me to finally process the grief I felt, as I hadn’t been able to express my feelings while in the mansion. It slipped out in little moments, like when I made the princess the same tea I made for my sister in the rare moments I could.

Whenever I mentioned Audrey, the princess’s expression would become pained as if she was pitying me. My pride as a noble didn’t like that much, but somewhere inside… I missed having someone worry over me like that.

Her highness is different from Audrey but also alike in many ways, which is quite vexing. The first few weeks drifted by, and I finally felt like I had found a proper distance to maintain with the royal. That was until she introduced us to the newest member she recruited.

“Everyone, meet Audrey Mays Celestine. She’s from the Principality of Trazkel on a special exchange program.” The young woman she introduced had fiery red hair and deep blue eyes. It was as if the gods themselves were mocking my pain. She even has the same name… It had been years since I’d seen my sister healthy, but I couldn’t help but think that if things had been different, she would’ve looked just like the girl in front of me now.

“Are you alright, Sasha?” the princess’s voice freed me from my stupor, and I tentatively touched my face to find tears threatening to spill from my eyes. Panicked, I wiped my face and tried to gloss over my blunder.

“O-Oh, My apologies! I-I’m not sure what came over me! Pardon my outburst. I am Sasha Rose, the second daughter of House Rose. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, lady Celestine.” emotion flickered across Lady Celestine's face as I spoke. She’s not very good at hiding her feelings…

“Are you sure you’re alright, Lady Rose?” she asked me.

“Yes, Thank you for the concern. You… resemble someone I miss dearly, and I’m afraid I let my emotions get the best of me.” The truth spilled out of me unconsciously, and I scolded myself.

Then, lady Celestine was right in front of me. “If you find it acceptable, may I call you by name?” Her request was abrupt, but something compelled me to nod my head slowly. “Great, then I’d like you to do the same for me.” She amended. Hesitation ran through me, but she felt so comforting, even in the short moments since we met.

“Then, I look forward to working with you, Aud… Lady Audrey.” my lousy habit showed itself as I twirled a lock of hair around my finger and looked down in embarrassment.

“So do I, Sasha.”

***

From that day on, I couldn’t help but be drawn to Lady Celestine. Everything about her was so familiar. From how she spoke to her little mannerisms, it reminded me of my sister. A naive part of me desperately wanted to believe she was my sister, but I knew it was impossible. My Audrey was gone, and I could never replace her.

Yet, as my bond with Audrey Celestine grew, my ambitions of revenge for Audrey Rose seemed to fade away. Am I betraying my sister? I thought to myself constantly. My bloody revenge was something I knew she would never condone. It was a selfish way to put my mind at ease and nothing more. I knew if she were still alive, Audrey Rose would tell me to move on and find someone who could fill the void left in my heart. I’m sure she would only blame herself, too.

So, I rationalized my thoughts and dark plans away. I was letting them fade into the back of my mind. They were never truly gone, but they were not needed for now as my school days shone bright with new possibilities.

Little did I know my father would take this happiness away as well.