Chapter 22

“Come on!” I yelled in frustration as I swung at Lucia, who parried my reckless attack.

“You’re leaving yourself open!” my friend said as she hit my side with the flat of her blade. Pain and anger coursed through me as I crashed into the dirt. I coughed as I waved the dust from my vision and looked up to see the tip of her wooden sword hovering over me. “What’s wrong, Audrey? You haven’t been yourself the last few weeks.”

Her eyes were filled with concern, which only made the pain worse. “I apologize… I’m just frustrated with my lack of progress the last few weeks.” She reached out to help me up, and I took her hand as I spoke. Ever since the formal gala, I hadn’t improved at all.

Lucia opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted as the captain joined us in the middle of the field. “Allow me, Dame Lucia.” He said before turning to me.

“There is no easy way to say this, Audrey, so I’ll be blunt.” His words replaced my frustration with worry, and I subconsciously swallowed in nervousness. “I believe you’ve hit your natural limit.” He said nothing else, and his words echoed in my head.

“M-My limit?” I asked quietly. “What do you mean?” The thought had never occurred to me, and the captain sighed in resignation.

“I’m no specialist on divinity, but Siegfried and I have discussed the possibility at length.” He paused for a moment before continuing. “Divine power likely allows your body to operate at its full potential, but that potential differs for every individual.”

I stayed quiet as I turned my attention to my goddess.

“Aurora? Is that true?” I asked, almost afraid of the answer.

“It is…” She replied hesitantly.

I took a deep breath before asking both of them a question. “So it won’t matter how much I train from now on; I’ll no longer improve?”

“Not necessarily.” Sir Theodore said, giving me hope before subsequently crushing it. “Everyone can overcome their limits. But if we keep your previous pace in mind, it would likely take you years to see any more noticeable improvement.”

I deflated, my nails biting into the palms of my hands as I clenched my fists in frustration. How can I protect everyone like this? A warm hand landed on my shoulder, and I looked up to see the captain looking at me. “Audrey. Don’t discount all the work you’ve put in until now. You’ve still grown into a proficient swordswoman, but physical combat has never been where your natural ability lies, has it?” He asked with a small smile.

I knew he was trying to comfort me, so I tried to smile back. “R-Right…” Lucia and Sir Theodore seemed to look at me in pity, and I gave in to the sudden urge to run away. “I think I need a break… Is it alright if I head back to the dorm?” I asked timidly, and the captain nodded.

“Of course. Siegfried and I discussed postponing training and lessons since graduation is in a few days, and we figured you’d want to be available to assist Her Highness in preparing.”

I nodded sullenly and quickly turned on my heels, leaving the two knights alone in the field.

“You have some impressive instructors; I’m surprised they realized the unseen benefit of being a guardian, even if they don’t understand all the particulars…” Aurora trailed off, most likely noticing my mood. “Audrey?”

“Sorry, I’m fine… I just need some time to process.” I replied in my mind as I walked.

“I understand.” She said simply before leaving me with my thoughts in silence.

***

“That could have gone worse,” I muttered, forgetting the captain was still next to me as we watched Audrey leave the field.

“It is hard for people to accept their own shortcomings; most people avoid facing them altogether. How she responds from here on out will determine her true strength.” He said before turning to me with a smile. “I have no doubt she will return stronger than ever, even if it isn’t visible to the naked eye.”

I could tell he meant every word, and I couldn’t help but agree. “As do I.” I stretched for a minute before refocusing on the captain. “I won’t fall behind, either. Would you do me the honor of sparring with me, captain?”

The burly man smiled wryly before drawing a practice sword from his belt. “It would be my pleasure.”

***

“Good work today, everyone,” I said as the council began to wrap up its work for the day. With graduation only a few days away, we were buried in paperwork. “Yuzuki? Will you stay a moment?” I asked as the other three began to leave the room. Brandon and Sasha paused in curiosity before continuing, leaving only me and the black-haired girl.

“What can I do for you, Your Highness?” She asked, and I smiled.

“As you know, I’ll be graduating this year, and I’d like to nominate you as the next student council president.” She didn’t seem surprised by my request at all.

“I’d be honored,” Yuzuki said. “I promise to live up to your expectations.” I laughed a little at her usual attitude.

“I know you will. But I’m still president for the next few days, so don’t go power-mad on me.” A small smile graced her lips at my joke, and I couldn’t help but gasp in surprise.

“W-What?” She asked defensively, and I quickly stood up and moved around the desk to grab her hands.

“You laughed! Does this mean we’re friends?” I asked excitedly, and the Yamadian quickly schooled her expression.

“I don’t know what you mean.” She said before muttering under her breath. “We’re already friends, aren’t we?” Her face flushed slightly, and I couldn’t help squealing in delight.

“You’re so adorable, Yuzuki!” I said as I swung her hands in mine. She’s so bashful!

“A-Are we finished, Your Highness? I-I have things I need to do…” I let her go reluctantly and waved goodbye, but I glimpsed the slight smile on her face as she left the room.

The moment with Yuzuki left me giddy, but as I finished putting away my things, my thoughts turned toward my girlfriend. Audrey had said she would help the council today, but never showed up. I hope she’s alright… Maybe she’s still training?

Leah left her spot by the door as I cleaned up my desk and left the room. “Have you heard anything from Lucia?” I asked my attendant, and she shook her head. “Let’s head back to the dorm then.” The walk back to our room was peaceful, and I admired the setting sun for a moment before entering the building. We arrived at the room a minute later, and I gasped in shock as a bruised Lucia greeted us, holding an ice pack to her side.

“What happened to you?” I asked, worried.

“A sparring match with the captain.” She said with a pained smile, and I grimaced in sympathy. He never goes easy on his knights, does he?

“Sorry to hear,” I said. “Where’s Audrey?” Lucia pointed towards the couch, and I saw a hand raise from it.

“I’m here.” my girlfriend said. Her voice sounded heavy, and as I walked over, I saw her lying across the couch, staring at the ceiling listlessly.

“What’s the matter?” I asked, a little worried. I haven’t seen her like this since she told me her identity. I moved to sit down, lifting her head and putting it in my lap so she looked up at me instead of the ceiling. Her beautiful blue eyes met mine for a moment before looking away.

“I can’t get any better as a swordswoman, " she said. She seemed genuinely upset about the situation, but I was still confused.

“What does that mean?” I asked. She shrugged and gestured for Lucia to explain.

“The theory is that her divinity has allowed her body to grow at a rate that would take a normal person decades to achieve, but her natural abilities still apply.” The knight said.

So, she has no natural talent for the sword and has already used a lifetime's worth of hard work to get where she is… Now that I understood, I gently brushed my hand through her hair.

“Even with that, you would still hold your own against the average opponent, right? And that doesn’t account for your magic—”

“You don’t understand! Sir Theodore, Lucia, and even Aurora! They all said the same! But none of you get it!” She suddenly sat up, yelling in anger. My attendants stared in shock, and I knew I was doing the same. Audrey has hardly raised her voice at anything since we met, even when she was perfectly in the right to do so.

“Audrey—” I began, but she cut me off again.

“I need to be able to protect you, Lydia!” She ranted. “No, not just you… everyone I care about! I need to be prepared for anything; how can I do that with just “average” swordsmanship?!” Oh. I think I get why she’s so upset. I stood up while Audrey continued to talk and walked over to her. She paused momentarily when I got close, and her eyes met mine.

Then I slapped my hands on her face.

***

“I need to be able to protect you, Lydia!” The words slipped out in frustration. Everyone kept telling me that my skill with the sword was “Good enough,” but they didn’t understand. “No, not just you… everyone I care about! I need to be prepared for anything; how can I do that with just “average” swordsmanship?!” I was nothing before Aurora gave me this power… before Lydia saved me. I can’t leave even the slightest chance of failure.

In my haze of anger, I didn’t notice Lydia move until she was right in front of me, and as I finally looked at her, she slapped her hands against my face.

“W-What are you—” The words came out slightly mushed due to her pushing my cheeks together, but she spoke over me.

“Audrey.”

“Y-Yesh?” Her hands were still on my face, and I looked at her helplessly.

“Stop. You may be divinely blessed, but that doesn’t make you perfect. Not even you can prepare for every little possibility, and you’ll only drive yourself insane trying to.” Her words cut into me mercilessly.

“But—”

“I’m not done.” I closed my mouth at her sternness, and she continued while burning holes into me with her eyes. “Honestly, do you think so little of yourself?” Her question was right on the mark, and I looked down in shame.

“The strength I have isn’t my own. I need to use it properly.” I said. I was still looking at the floor, but Lydia grabbed my chin and forced me to look at her.

“What a ridiculous thing to say. That power exists inside you, and only you!” She let go of me once again and turned away. “I think you need to have a heart of heart with that goddess of yours.” I stood, dumbfounded, in the center of the room as Lydia began to prepare for bed.

“Aurora?” I asked in my head, and a moment of silence passed before she responded.

“I didn’t realize how you felt. I’m so sorry, Audrey.” Her voice was laden with grief. “It would be better to talk in person, so you should also get ready for bed.”

I nodded and, after changing into loungewear, soon laid down beside Lydia. I knew she was still upset with me, and I figured my goddess wouldn’t mind waiting a bit longer.

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“I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m sorry.” I said, and she rolled over to face me.

“Of course you didn’t. But I despise when you discount yourself so much.” She paused before taking my hand. “I fell in love with Audrey Rose, not the divine guardian of night.” Her words calmed my heart, and I squeezed her hand.

“Thank you. Regardless, I still apologize for my outburst earlier.” I felt embarrassed thinking about my rant, but Lydia only laughed.

“Don’t feel bad about that. Honestly, I think you should speak your mind more often.” She leaned in close, her lips brushing my ear. “I found it very attractive.” My face flushed in response, and she completed her attack by giving me a quick kiss.

Then she rolled away from me, settling into her pillow. “Time to sleep. You still need to have that talk with your goddess.”

She is so unfair! I thought to myself with a smile before closing my eyes and allowing myself to drift off to sleep.

When I opened my eyes again, I saw the familiarity of Aurora’s divine plane and my goddess waiting for me with a sad smile.

“It’s been a while since we’ve talked like this.” She said.

“It has. But I always look forward to seeing you,” I replied, and as I walked over to her, a simple bench appeared.

“Let’s sit down, but first.” She hugged me tight, caressing my head with her hand. “First, let me apologize. I now understand I did not properly explain what qualifies someone as a guardian.” After releasing me, we sat down together on the bench, watching the endless stars and galaxies float lazily overhead.

“Let’s start at the basics,” Aurora said after a moment. “All humans are born into this world with mana. The amount an individual is born with is mainly determined by their parent's capacity, but there remains a certain randomness.” She explained, and I stayed silent to listen.

“Mischievous spirits sometimes interfere during birth, causing the newborn’s mana to differ dramatically from what would be expected.” This information surprised me. My lessons with Mr. Tressum covered mana inheritance, but even the best scholars only had theories for why some cases varied massively.

“In rare cases, a human is born with a harmonic soul, which compels a spirit to leave part of itself inside the newborn. This is how humans acquire stella.” She continued.

“Are you saying that’s what happened to me?” I believed I understood where she was heading with her explanation, but I wanted to confirm. She nodded her head and smiled gently at me.

“Yes. However, being born with stella doesn’t guarantee that person will become a guardian. Most don’t, in reality. Either because they were blessed with too little or the deity isn’t strong enough to support a divine guardian.”

“So you chose me?” I asked, and she shook her head.

“No, it wasn’t me. It was a spirit of night, though I’m confident I would’ve made the same choice.”

“Wait, I thought you were the only night deity?” I said, confused, and Aurora laughed softly.

“I am. However, multiple spirits can exist for the same concept.” She tapped her chin with a finger in thought. “Think of me as the queen and spirits of night as my subjects.” I nodded in understanding, and her shimmering gold eyes met mine. “Audrey, you are an exceptional case, even among the rare. Your soul is so soothing that you didn’t just absorb a piece. You fused with an entire spirit— and a strong one at that.”

She grabbed my hand, holding it gently. “Had you been given a proper life, you would have become one of the greatest mages in history, even without my influence.” Then she started to cry. Her tears were white, and I realized she was crying pure stella. “That’s why it hurts my heart so much to realize how you thought of yourself.” Her hand left mine to caress my cheek lovingly. You aren’t special because you are my divine guardian, Audrey. You’re my guardian because you’re special!”

Her words tore through the walls around my heart, and I started to cry with her. It felt like a weight had been lifted from my chest, and I couldn’t resist the urge to wrap my arms around her. We stayed like that for a while before the tears finally stopped, and we broke away.

“Thank you, my goddess,” I said between sniffles, and she patted my hair.

“I could hardly call myself your goddess if I let you continue like you were.” she leaned down and kissed my forehead. “Time to send you back.” A silver glow began to overtake my body, and a calming feeling came with it. But before I could disappear, Aurora spoke again. “One last thing. You really should read that letter.”

“I will,” I said with a small smile, then a bright flash flooded my vision.

As my eyes cracked open, I saw the familiar ceiling of the dorm room and heard my girlfriend breathing softly beside me. I slowly sat up, doing my best to negate any creaking of the bed in fear of waking Lydia, and quietly reached into my pocket dimension.

It had been a couple of weeks since Aunt Bella had given me the letter from my mother, but I hadn’t had the courage to open it… until now.

The pristine white paper glowed gently under the moonbeams that filtered through the window, as if Aurora herself were guiding them. She probably is… the thought comforted me as I took a deep breath, carefully breaking the seal and unfolding the letter.

My Dearest Audrey,

How are you? I don’t know how your life will turn out after I’m gone, but I hope it’s one filled with light and laughter. Unfortunately, I know that your father will likely make that impossible, and for leaving you behind like this, I will never forgive myself. I will attempt to put some measures in place to protect you, but my little influence will likely be irrelevant at my passing. Should the worst come to pass, Know you can trust the royal family. The queen is my best friend and will protect you if I cannot.

When I first became pregnant with you, I was terrified. It had always been my dream to have a family of my own, but it wasn’t how I envisioned it. Your father only married me for what he could gain. Even though our marriage had no love, I did my best to cultivate an environment in which to raise a happy child. But Thomas wanted a son, not a daughter, and blamed me for not giving him a suitable heir. Soon after, I became ill, and the house physician told me there was no hope of recovery.

It may seem heartless, but I’m grateful that Thomas didn’t take an interest in you. He might have sensed the same strength in you that I did, and I could not imagine a worse fate for you as my daughter. You may not see it now, but I can sense by your mana that you will grow into a powerful magic user, even better than I was.

Likely, anyone I trust to care for you won’t be around much longer after my passing. But don’t lose hope. I have faith that you will find the place you belong, even if it takes a long time. Once you do, don’t be afraid to do whatever it takes to protect the people you care for. You might even find love; when you do, I know whoever you pick will be worthy of standing beside you.

Audrey, I need you to know I have never regretted having you. Even now, as I near the end of my life, all I can think of is how much you’ve given me. Our time together gives me the strength to make it through another night. Even if I’m not there to see it, I know you will become a wonderful woman, and I will always be proud of you. If the last thing I see is your beautiful smile, then take comfort in the fact that I went peacefully.

I love you with all my heart, Audrey. If there is an afterlife, I’ll always be watching over you.

Love overflowed with every penstroke, and I was again overcome with emotion. I sat in complete silence, tears rolling down my face, but my efforts to stay quiet soon proved to be in vain as Lydia roused beside me.

“Audrey…?” her voice was heavy with sleep, but her eyes shot open in worry as they landed on me. “What's wrong?!” I collapsed into her arms as she sat up, gripping the front of her nightgown.

“I’m so relieved!” I said between sobs. “I-I wasn’t a burden to her! I’m so happy!” I continued to cry uncontrollably into her chest, and I felt Lydia gently remove the letter from my hand so I wouldn’t crumple it. Then, her arms wrapped around me.

My girlfriend said nothing, and she didn’t need to. Eventually, I exhausted myself and drifted asleep, still in Lydia’s arms.

This is where I belong. I’ll be someone of whom you can be proud, and I’ll do so confidently and with my own strength. I truly hope you’re watching, Mother.

***

I took a deep breath, watching as the headmaster wrapped up another one of his dull speeches. I was no stranger to public speaking, but it never got easier.

“You got this,” Audrey said from beside me. It was graduation day, and we stood backstage with my attendants and the rest of the student council.

“Of course I do,” I replied. Her encouragement was all I needed, and my nerves were blown away.

“It’s a little scary how much of an effect she has on you.” Leah teased lightly, and I glared at her. She raised her hands in mock surrender before she smiled. “In all seriousness, my lady. I’m very proud to be your attendant.”

“As am I.” Lucia chimed in with a salute. It meant a lot to hear that from them, and I gave them a wide grin.

“I couldn’t ask for anyone better. Thank you for choosing to be with me.” I meant every word, and both women bowed respectfully. It felt absurd that my last year at the academy was already ending, but it was.

Eventually, the headmaster gave me the stage, and I left the other girls behind to take the podium, looking out over the sea of countless faces. The graduating class sat at the front, all with their ribbons glowing, marking their academy completion. Taking another deep breath, I began my farewell speech.

“For the last six years, I have been acting as your student council president,” I said, skipping right past introductions. Everyone here already knows who I am anyway… “And I can confidently say that all the students I’ve met, whether noble or commoner, are valued citizens of this country. All of you have something unique to offer the world, something only you can do. And we all have something special to find here at the academy.” I shot a furtive glance at Audrey, who watched me speak with stars in her eyes from the wings. “I know I have. Whether it’s an ability or talent, life-long connections or love. Never stop looking for what you want; always strive to be the best in whatever you choose! But use it not for yourself but for those around you!” A murmur broke through the crowd at my words, and I couldn’t help but smile.

“Look out for those around you, and you will be looked out for in turn. A kingdom can’t run with just a single person or even a single family. It runs because every citizen and noble works together to create a place where we all can be happy! Even now, when we live in uncertain times of war and bloodshed, there’s a path forward because of you!” I pointed at the crowd. “Those of us graduating this year will enter the next phase of our lives, and we’ll continue to work tirelessly for peace and stability.” I put my hands on my chest. “I— no, we will be waiting for the rest of you to join us. So that we may create a better kingdom and protect those we care about together!” My words echoed around the auditorium, leaving only silence before the crowd broke into thunderous applause.

Sweat trickled down my face as I waved at the crowd and slowly left the stage. Audrey wrapped me in a tight hug as soon as I was out of view of the crowd.

“That was a great speech! Amazing job!” my girlfriend said with a massive grin. She’s been incredibly upbeat since she read her mother’s letter the other night, but I didn’t mind. As long as she’s happy.

“Indeed. I’m not sure I’ll be able to fill the shoes you leave behind.” Yuzuki said with a wry smile. I patted her on the shoulder in confidence.

“If I didn’t think you could do it, I wouldn’t have chosen you,” I said, and I could see her perk up a little. I then turned to Brandon, who was resting against the wall. “Make sure you continue to support Yuzuki.”

“Now I have to since you’re the one asking, Prez.” He said nonchalantly, and he soon suffered from Yuzuki stomping on his foot. Never change, you two. You’re so cute.

We chatted a moment longer as the crowd outside started to settle down, and then we were ushered into the ballroom where the rest of the graduation party was to be held. From there, a whirlwind of conversation, dancing, and refreshments lasted two hours.

Graduation day also marked the last day of school for the year, so most students would head back to their estates early, anxious to see their families for the first time in a while. On our way to the carriages, Sasha asked to speak to Audrey and me privately. That’s unusual.

“C-Congratulations on graduating!” She sputtered out while looking at the ground. She was playing anxiously with the hem of her blazer, which made Audrey and I look at each other in concern.

Audrey opened her mouth to ask what was wrong, but Sasha spoke again. “I just wanted to know if you were going back to Trazkel… Will I get to see you again, Lady Audrey?” Ah, This is why she wanted me here, just in case Audrey couldn’t say. I leaned down to match her eye level and smiled at her.

“Please don’t worry, Sasha. We’ve arranged for Audrey to stay in Venyth for the foreseeable future. You’ll see her plenty during the upcoming social season.” Visible relief crossed the younger girl's face at my words.

“Would it be alright for me to visit outside formal events as well?” She asked.

“Of course, just send one of us a letter when you want to schedule something.” She beamed in response again, and I couldn’t help but laugh. Audrey gave me a grateful smile and squeezed my hand. “If that’s all, I’m sure our carriages are waiting for us—”

“W-Wait! One last thing.” Sasha said. “Do you truly believe what you said in your speech? That we can all make a difference?”

I nodded firmly. “Of course.”

She nodded back, and I saw determination in her eyes. “Then I promise to do what I can to help.” I was unsure what she meant by that, but she headed towards her carriage before I could question it.

“I hope she doesn’t do anything reckless…” I muttered, and Audrey nodded in agreement.

“My sister is incredibly capable; I know she’ll be fine. And if something does happen, I’ll just have to help.” I found my girlfriend's newfound confidence intensely appealing and had to look away.

“Don’t you mean we will help?” I asked as Leah and Lucia joined us again, and we made our way to the royal carriage.

“That’s what I meant!” She said with a cute pout as we boarded the vehicle. The four of us chatted about nothing in particular as we rode back to the castle, and as we drove through the front gate, servants lined up on either side, blaring trumpets and throwing confetti everywhere.

“Honestly…” I rubbed my temple as the carriage stopped before the main door. My family waited to greet us with smiles and party hats, each holding a miniature confetti cannon. Seeing the royal family of a country dressed to the nines in party gear was ridiculous, made even worse by the fact that it was my family.

“Just what are you guys thinking? The servants are going to lose all respect for us!” I complained as soon as I stepped out of the carriage, and my brothers laughed.

“Still the same as ever, eh?” Abel said, setting off his confetti, making it rain down on my head.

“For the record, I was against this as well.” Luke tried to say, but I wasn’t buying it, considering he followed suit with his confetti. The other girls followed behind me, and Audrey ran up to hug Mother and Father, who greeted her with warm gazes. My attendants were utterly unfazed by the situation and stood at attention as usual when my family was around.

“Who’s going to clean all this up?” I asked defiantly, and my parents turned toward me, having finished greeting Audrey.

“Relax, dear. We offered bonuses to any servants for clean-up duty. Almost the entire staff volunteered.” Mother said casually, like she didn’t just confess to bribing our workforce.

Father was crying his eyes out and sputtering. “My daughters are finally home, safe and sound…”

I sighed in resignation before shaking my head and smiling. Whatever…

The squabbling continued for a few more minutes before Mother pulled Audrey and me into a tight hug, which was a bit out of character, before saying. “Welcome Home.”

Audrey and I looked at each other and responded together. “We’re happy to be home.”