Chapter 36

Where am I? I looked around in confusion and found myself sitting in a grassy field. Rolling plains stretched as far as I could see in every direction, and a strong wind blew through my golden hair and sent waves through the tall grass. The sky above was shrouded with dark clouds threatening to start a downpour any minute. Not wanting to get soaked by the weather, I hurriedly stood up and looked for anywhere to take shelter when my eyes landed on a lone tree atop a little hill. Luckily, it wasn’t too far away, and the rain started to come down in sheets as soon as I sat beneath the branches. Getting wet would have been disastrous, considering the simple white dress I was now wearing for some reason.

I sighed in relief and watched the rain for a moment, still trying to piece my thoughts together. I remember standing on the city walls, waiting for the Duke’s attack… but what happened after that? How did I get to these fields? For some reason, everything after that felt like a thick haze. Yet, despite the holes in my memories, I wasn’t feeling anxious at all. Even with the rain, this place was very comforting—As if it soothed my very soul.

I closed my eyes and just enjoyed listening to the rain. It’s been forever since I’ve been able to relax like this… Not since Audrey left. There was a slight pang of emotion as I thought about my girlfriend, but I pushed it away, not wanting to ruin this peaceful moment. However, after a few minutes, a noise came from the other side of the tree and startled me out of my reverie.

Cautiously, I peeked my head around the large trunk. I didn’t know what to expect, but what slowly came into my view was a woman. She had her back to the tree, her knees pulled up, and her face buried in her arms. Her platinum blonde hair seemed to shine, even without the sunlight. Despite sitting on the ground, her white robe didn’t have a speck of dirt and fit her perfectly.

Carefully, I sat down beside her. “Um, excuse me…” I began, and my voice seemed to startled her a little as she raised her head to look at me. The woman’s clouded gaze slowly came into focus as we stared silently at each other. Her eyes were a deep silver and glowed subtly, making me miss Audrey even more before I pushed the thought away. Our staring contest continued for a moment longer before she gasped, her eyes widening as she finally registered my presence.

“How are you here?” Her voice was light and gentle, even if she sounded just as confused as I was.

“I’m not sure… Where is ‘here’ exactly?” I asked in return.

A strange sense of familiarity overcame me as we once again stared at each other in silence. It wasn’t the same overwhelming emotion I felt for Audrey, but when the woman’s hand reached out to cup my cheek, it reminded me of Mother’s embrace. Mother…

Suddenly, a searing pain shot through my head as images flashed through my mind. The capital in ruins… The children… The castle… I cried out as the horrible memories flooded back, and the woman quickly pulled me into a tight hug, trying to comfort me.

“You’ve been through so much… I’m so sorry…” She whispered against my ear. My arms hung limp at my sides as grief washed over me.

“Mother was so injured, and Father…” I did my best to choke back the tears but to no avail. I bit my lip as the tears ran down my face and splashed onto the woman’s robe.

“It’s alright… You don’t need to be strong with me.” All my reservations were washed away by the warmth of her voice and embrace, and my arms wrapped around her back tightly as I sobbed into her shoulder. The princess vanished, replaced by a child who cried desperately for her lost parents.

Eventually, no more tears were left to be had after who knows how long. My body was heavy with exhaustion as I slumped against the woman, but my mind raced with questions even while my heart suffered. I pushed myself up to look at the woman’s face, her eyes red from her own tears.

My hands touched my stomach tentatively, but there was no pain or blood. “I was stabbed… Then the castle collapsed, right?” I looked around at the endless rolling hills that were still being flooded with heavy rain, then back at her. “Am I… Am I dead?”

A breath escaped me as she shook her head, but I couldn’t tell if it was from relief or disappointment. “No. Your physical body is still alive, though it’s currently in a different dimension from your own.”

“A different dimension…?” I repeated slowly, and she nodded. But then she stood up, smoothing out her clothes before extending a hand to me. Grasping her hand, I allowed myself to be pulled up, though I felt a little unsteady on my feet.

“Let’s start over with some introductions.” She said with a small smile, still holding my hand in hers.

I nodded a little numbly, but followed her lead. “I am Lydia Venyth, the first princess of the Kingdom of Venyth.” I tried to say with my usual pride, but my expression flickered. “Just call me Lydia…” I’m no longer a princess, most likely. I left the words unspoken, but they must have shown on my face because the woman squeezed my hands gently with a pained look.

“Venyth, you say?” There was something in her tone that I couldn’t quite place. “Would you happen to know a man named Ezekiel?”

My eyes widened at her question, but I shook my head. “Sorry… The only man by that name in my family was the founder of our kingdom seven hundred years ago.”

She looked down, the sorrow plainly written on her face as she muttered to herself. “Has it truly been so long…?” My mouth opened to ask about it, but she cut me off as she met my gaze again. “It’s not something you need to worry about, please forget I asked.”

An objection rose in my mind, but I pushed it away. “If that’s what you want…”

The gloomy atmosphere dissipated as she stepped back and gave me a dazzling smile, a hand rising to her chest. “I suppose it’s my turn, then.” Her platinum hair and silver eyes shone with a bit more power as she spoke—Her words filling me with hope.

“My name is Azure, the Goddess of the day. And you, Lydia Venyth, are my Divine Guardian.”

***

My eyes slowly cracked open, yet I was still surrounded by darkness. The cold stone below me chilled my body through the thin blanket I was allowed to have, and I forced myself to sit up to escape the torment even as my muscles screamed in protest. My vision swam from even that much movement, but I gritted my teeth and pushed through, just like I did every morning.

I did my best to wash myself with a tattered rag and cold water from the shallow basin in the corner of the room. After finishing, I picked up the threadbare servant's uniform and quickly put it on. Tomorrow is laundry day. I’ll need to remember to wash my blanket and washcloth, too. Only once a week was I allowed fifteen minutes and a small corner of the laundry room to scrub the grim out of my meager belongings.

I moved towards the door, stumbling slightly due to a wave of sudden dizziness, but managed to catch myself on the doorknob. Like every day for the last eight years, if I didn’t work, I didn’t eat, so I did my best to steady my breathing as I pushed open the creaking door to the dimly lit hallway.

The magic lamps along the wall cast flickering shadows as I entered an entirely different world that had long lost its allure. Not even the sun was up as I moved silently down the hallway to retrieve the cleaning supplies I would need for the morning chores I was required to complete before the other servants even stirred from the comfortable beds in the servants’ wing of the mansion.

The wooden bucket felt heavy in my hands, and the soft cleaning cloths rested on my shoulders as I trudged back down the hall, stopping in front of the first of an endless amount of large window panes. I bit back another groan as I stretched myself as much as possible to clean the glass. My joints and muscles strained from the effort, but I wasn’t tall enough to reach the higher spots like the other servants my age, and I wasn’t allowed to use a stool or anything of the sort.

Eventually, I could hear the rest of the mansion come alive as sunlight started to filter over the horizon, and the other servants began to fill the hallways in their clean, comfortable uniforms and bright smiles. I stopped and bowed my head every time someone passed, then returned to my work, doing my best to ignore the fog encroaching on the edges of my vision.

The day passed slowly as I worked nonstop, not even pausing to eat lunch. Now, I found myself bowed once again, trembling as a young woman glared at me from behind her folding fan. A group of maids stood behind her, snickering quietly as their master berated me.

“What a disgusting sight. My whole day is ruined having run into you!” Lady Sasha said. She was the second daughter of House Rose and my half-sister, four years younger. I was no stranger to being the target of venomous words, having learned early on that crying or trying to defend myself would only bring harsher treatment. So I stood numbly, only nodding and mumbling apologies, hoping that Lady Sasha wasn’t in the mood to prolong my abuse today.

But my hopes were in vain as she narrowed her eyes at me. “Your attitude is unacceptable for a ‘servant.’” She stepped forward, and I didn’t even bother to brace myself as her hand struck my cheek. My legs, already struggling to hold my weight, collapsed with the impact, and I sprawled onto the plush, purple carpet that lined the hallway. Dazedly, I watched as red bloomed on the dark floor and realized that my nose was bleeding. There goes my dinner…

As I struggled to get back up, Lady Sasha knelt before me, using her fan to lift my chin. Her face was twisted in sadistic amusement as she looked at me with nothing but contempt.

“You’re nothing… No, less than nothing. A slave to your own house, and that’s exactly where you belong, isn’t that right… ‘Dear Sister?’” She whispered, and after a moment, I slowly nodded my head in agreement. The smile slipped from her face for a moment in shock, then twisted in revulsion as she stood up and stepped away from me. “Are you really crying right now? What a repulsing sight. Lock her away.”

I was just as shocked when I reached up and touched my face. My fingers came away wet, but not even I understood why. Nothing different happened today… So why did it all feel so wrong? It was like my heart was being torn apart with every insult Lady Sasha threw my way. Emotions whirled in my chest that I’d long thought dead as the maids dragged me through the mansion back to the coldness of my little closet.

Hurt. Pain. Sorrow. Loneliness. All things that had been stamped out through the years of endless abuse. A cry escaped me for the first time in a while as I was thrown roughly into my room, the maids slamming the door and locking it from the outside as I lay in a heap. After a while, I managed to pull myself up against the door, and that’s when I realized I wasn’t alone in the darkness.

A figure shifted on the other side of the room and moved closer to me as fear gripped my heart. Enough light filtered around the door behind me so I could just make out the details as the figure—no, a girl—sat before me. Her hair, maybe once a vibrant red, had dulled to a faded orange and was thin and unkempt. Her blue eyes lacked any sign of life and were surrounded by dark circles. Her limbs looked frail, and I could see her ribs through the thin fabric of a tattered servant's uniform.

“W-What are you?” I asked, wrapping my arms around myself.

“I’m you, Audrey.” She replied, her voice a perfect match for mine. I probably should have been terrified, but I lacked the energy to do anything more than tremble.

“What do you mean…?”

The girl tilted her head, ignoring my question. “Don’t you hate them?” Her voice was cold and even.

“Who?”

“Everyone. Mother died and left you behind. Father left you to rot in your own house. The Duchess hurt you as an act of misguided revenge. Sasha watched on and only offered pity as you wasted away.” The more she spoke, the more I desperately tried to cover my ears.

“No! How could I possibly blame Mother for dying?! And Sasha always did her best to look out for me!” I didn’t know why I was defending my half-sister, especially after what had just happened, but that sense of wrongness was only growing in my heart.

Maybe it was just a way for me to cope, but I started to see flashes of memories: of Sasha and me sleeping peacefully together, of her hugging me desperately on the floor of an empty room decorated for a party.

Then I saw golden hair and deep emerald eyes that shone in the moonlight, red lips that whispered my name, and warm hands that traced the curves of my body and held me tight.

“No…” I started as everything came back to me, and I looked up at the reflection of myself. “This isn’t real.” My voice grew confident as the room around me began to shatter like glass, the pieces falling away to reveal an empty void. “Sasha would never act like that.” As the last of the fake world fell away, I looked down to find my body healthy and dressed in my armor. Yet, despite the lies disappearing, the girl—The old me—Still sat, her expression unchanging, even as I narrowed my eyes.

The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

“Don’t you hate them?” She repeated with that same lifeless look, but I immediately shook my head.

“I don’t.”

“You’re lying.” Her blunt words caught me off guard, and she took the opportunity to move closer, her face inches from mine. “I’m a part of you. I know.” I stepped back; my lips pursed together as she continued. “Deep down, you despise the world for forsaking you.”

“No! I’ve never felt that way!”

“Of course you have! You just didn’t know what to do with all those feelings as a child, so you pushed all that anger and hatred into me!” She hit her chest as she spoke, emphasizing the words. “Did you never think it odd, Audrey? Despite everything you’ve been through, you feel no hate towards those responsible. You’ve felt scared and uncomfortable but never true anger.” Her eyes narrowed, and a mocking smile played on her lips. “Did you think you were special? That you were above having such thoughts?”

I gasped at her accusation. “No, I—!” But something stopped me from denying it altogether, and the more I thought back, the more I realized she was right. Even when I was in front of Leslie or the Duchess… I’ve never hated them outright.

As if reading my thoughts, the girl stepped around me with a small smile. “You see it now, right? Those emotions have only surfaced a few times…” She trailed off, and I finished her words.

“When I lose control… That was you.” I said, remembering the flood of emotions I felt in those moments. The overwhelming anger and desire to hurt others as I’d been hurt.

“No. As I said, I’m simply part of you.”

I racked my brain, trying to figure out what the girl meant… Then I remembered Aurora telling me how Divine Guardians are born.

“You… Are you the spirit that merged with me?” It was only a hunch, but it seemed I wasn’t too far off.

“I’m only a fragment of what remains… But yes.” She stopped in front of me again and took my hands in hers. “It’s time for you to stop running from yourself, Audrey.”

Suddenly, A flood of emotions hit me. The spirit held onto my hands tightly as the years of pent-up hate and anger overcame my mind. When she finally let go, I clutched at my head as I fell to my knees as a scream ripped from my throat. It wasn’t the sound of pain, but of frustration and loathing as I felt every moment of abuse like it was the first time.

I hate them. I hate them. I hate them.

The words repeated again and again in my mind as I struggled to come to terms with my own feelings. I didn’t want to accept it. The thought of showing Lydia and Sasha this ugly part of me terrified me to no end. Yet, I understood that I could no longer ignore it.

There was a shift in the space around me, and I looked up to see the spirit standing next to the Duchess and Leslie, who were bound and gagged on their knees. Their faces were twisted with fear as they cried and struggled against the restraints. Looking at them sent my mind into a frenzy.

I’ll kill them. They robbed me of my childhood… Of time with Sasha. They don’t deserve to live! A small part of my mind cried out in protest, but the rest of me yearned for revenge. I wanted to make them feel what I felt all those years. A sword appeared in my hand as I stood up and stepped closer.

“Will you exact your revenge?” the spirit asked. She stood next to me as I looked down on the two women, my body heaving as adrenaline coursed through my veins. I raised my arm slowly as I glared at them. Leslie and the Duchess were both pleading with me through the gags, but it didn’t shake me.

“You never stopped when I cried and begged.” I hissed. Yet, despite the emotions pushing me to swing the weapon down, my arm wouldn’t move. What they did to me was cruel and unforgivable… But a single thought overcame the feelings of revenge.

Could I face them after? Would Lydia and Sasha still smile at me? Up until now, I’ve only killed in defense of others. If I struck these two down for my own satisfaction, wouldn’t I be sinking to their level? I wrestled with the gap between my heart and mind for a few minutes, before I already knew what the answer was.

“Damn it!” I shouted as I swung the sword… and threw it away from us. I was still seething with anger, but I knew holding onto the past meant losing the person I was now. As if in response to my will, Leslie and the Duchess disappeared, leaving the spirit and me alone again.

“You’re a good soul, Audrey Rose. I have no regrets having chosen you.” She said. The overwhelming emotion was starting to fade from my mind, and I clenched my fists at my side.

“I’ve moved on from what happened to me… But if they ever tried to hurt the ones I love now, I wouldn’t hesitate.” I said with resolve, and the girl nodded. Her body shimmered for a moment, and what came into view was a healthy young woman with long, red hair and blue eyes. Her lifeless expression was gone, replaced with a warm smile as I stared at my reflection.

The spirit stepped forward, her arms wrapping around me. “It’s time for you to awaken, Audrey Rose. She’s waiting for you.” Hugging someone who looked exactly like me was a little surreal, but when I wrapped my arms around the spirit, her form began to fade as she sank into my body. Once she was gone, I held my hands to my chest with a smile. I could feel the stella inside me calming and entirely under my control, and I knew in my heart that I would never fear losing control of my power ever again.

As my vision started to fade, I whispered one last thing.

“Let’s go, together.”

***

My new goddess and I talked for a long while after introducing ourselves properly, and she helped fill in a lot of blanks that I had about Divine Guardians. I love Audrey to death, but she’s not always the best at explaining things. Azure explained everything she could think of, some things I already knew from Audrey, like spirits and how they could merge with an infant at birth. But other things were new, like awakening and divine artifacts. It would certainly be a lot to take in for someone not already familiar with the concepts. It also helps that I’ve always been a perfect student!

As for how the connection between us had been forged, my goddess said that most guardians come into their divinity around twenty years old, but it’s not unheard of for it to happen sooner or later. Apparently, inactive divine power can interfere with normal mana when a guardian is close to awakening, which is why I had so much trouble the last few weeks with my magic. So that’s what was going on… If only I’d known. I tried to push the image of my parents out of my mind, but I couldn’t ignore the pain and guilt gnawing at me that maybe I could have saved them.

Hot tears burned at my eyes, the grief I had managed to suppress for now threatening to overtake me again. Sensing my thoughts, my goddess reached over and took my hand, holding it tight.

“You did all you could… If anybody is to blame for not knowing, it’s me.” She said, her voice full of remorse. “I’ve been shut away in my divine plane for so long… so lost in the regrets of my last guardian. I didn’t notice our bond until you stood beside me.”

Her bitter expression pained my heart. “I couldn’t possibly blame you, Goddess,” I said, trying to comfort her.

“Even so.”

We both sat in awkward silence. I had no idea what to say to comfort a literal deity, so I just shifted nervously beside her under the tree. The weather had cleared up throughout our conversation, seemingly in accordance with my goddess’s mood. Now, only a few grey clouds dotted the blue sky, and the sun's warm rays bathed the endless plains in light. It was a very serene sight. But I still don’t know what to talk about now! As my mind whirled with panic, I heard Azure clear her throat to get my attention.

“Anyway… You mentioned it before, but you and my Sis’s guardian are…” she trailed off, her face flushing slightly at the unspoken words, and I giggled at both her embarrassment and the casual way she referred to Audrey’s goddess.

“Yes, we’re lovers,” I said. I’d been thinking about it since we spent that magical night together. While she was definitely still my girlfriend, the term felt much too casual for the relationship we now shared. Thinking about her also filled me with anxiety, since I had no idea if she was even alive. “I hope she’s alright…” I said, more to myself than anything else, but my goddess heard and gave me a light smile.

“There’s no need to worry. I can sense Sis’s power surrounding your physical body. Her guardian was likely the one that saved you, and you're probably in one of her pocket spaces.” She said. “That would also explain why I can’t observe the world around you. Not even I can break through night magic without my guardian’s senses.”

I nodded in relief. “If we’re inside Audrey’s storage dimension, then we’re safe…” But as I spoke, I remembered when Audrey had first proudly shown off that magic. Watching that teacup come out still steaming had been quite the sight, but my face paled as I recalled what my girlfriend had said.

“My goddess told me a day in my pocket dimension is about a year in our time, so it wouldn’t be recommended.”

I shot to my feet, the blood draining from my face. “I need to go back. How do I do that?” I asked my goddess, and she quickly read my thoughts before also descending into a panic.

“I can send you back right away! Just focus on returning, and you will.” She said hurriedly. I turned my thoughts to my physical form. If Audrey is waiting for me to wake up…

“Oh, but one last thing! You opened the path for our bond during your fight. It might take some practice, but if you focus your stella on it, we should be able to talk.” She said with a smile, referring to when I lost control of my magic, and used my white flames again.

“I’ll do my best, Goddess. Thank you for everything.” I returned her smile, and watched her nod happily before a bright flash of light blinded me.

***

When my eyes opened again, I saw nothing but a black and purple void around me. My body felt heavy, and when I looked down, I saw the massive tear in my uniform, the edges of the fabric stained red from when I’d been stabbed. An unconscious sigh of relief escaped me when I realized I really had been healed, but then looked around in a panic for the only person who could have saved me.

Audrey lay unconscious just a few feet away, and I quickly crawled over to her. Standing didn’t seem like a good option, since I felt so dizzy. Probably from blood loss… Damn that man. I cursed the duke in my thoughts as I brushed my girlfriend’s red hair out of her face. She looked pale, and her own uniform was a mess of blood and grime.

“Did you rush here as soon as you got the report? You silly girl.” I whispered as my hand caressed her cheek. Her breathing was a bit shallow, but I couldn’t see any visible wounds on her other than some minor cuts. She hadn’t even bothered to heal herself, and had no doubt pushed herself too far.

Gently, I sat beside her and pulled her head onto my lap, my fingers unconsciously combing through her dirtied and frayed hair. If I’m truly a divine guardian, then I should be able to… I closed my eyes, visualizing the countless times I’d seen Audrey’s holy magic at work, and did my best to replicate it.

“Heal,” I whispered. But nothing happened at first, no doubt because moving stella was much harder than mana. But after a few more attempts, a soft glow emanated from my hands as I held them over my girlfriend’s chest. The light washed over her, and I watched as some color returned to her face, and she breathed easier.

After taking a few minutes to observe her and make sure the magic worked, I relaxed as much as I could without disturbing her. It was impossible to know how long we’d already been in here, and Audrey was the only one who could get us out. So there was nothing for me to do until she woke up.

Nothing to do but practice.

***

After absorbing the spirit fragment, I opened my eyes to a sight that flooded me with relief. My head rested on Lydia’s soft lap, and as I stirred, her gorgeous emerald eyes opened to meet mine, and a soft smile spread across her face.

And I immediately started to cry.

I covered my face with my hands, but Lydia slowly pried them away, looping my arms around her neck. I pulled myself up against her, burying my face in the crook of her neck.

“You’re alright! I’m so glad!” I cried, my words muffled against her skin.

She held me back tightly, and I could feel one of her hands running through my hair in that familiar way, which only coaxed more tears from me. “So are you, Audrey… I missed you so much,” she whispered, her voice trembling with emotion. I pulled back, then captured her lips in a desperate kiss she returned before we just rested our foreheads together. The tears still ran freely as we stared into each other’s eyes, as if confirming the other were really there.

“Thank you for saving me, my love.” She said, and I just nodded happily in response before I caught myself and pulled away.

“I-I’m sorry, Lydia! Auntie and Uncle… I couldn’t—” I started, but she just shook her head with a sad look.

“I know, Audrey. Father was already gone before you got here, and Mother was severely injured… I have no doubt she ordered you to prioritize me.” I nodded and bit my lip, but she stopped me before I could pass along Auntie’s final words, “There is a lot to say, but we need to get out of here first. There’s a time difference, right?”

A gasp escaped me as I remembered my panic from before and quickly stood up.“Aurora? How long has it been?”

There was no response.

“Hello, my goddess?!”

This time, I felt her jolt through our bond.

“I-I’m here, Audrey. No need to shout.” She said, but her voice sounded almost weak.

“What’s wrong, Aurora? You feel anxious…”

“Well… It seems my sister’s guardian has come into her power…”

“The guardian of day? Does that mean your sister is awake?” I asked excitedly, knowing just how much my goddess had missed her sibling.

“No, I haven’t heard from Azure personally.” I deflated at that.

“Then how do you know?”

“Because her guardian is standing next to you…” A beat of silence passed while I digested her words.

“Lydia is the divine guardian of day?!” I inadvertently shouted aloud. I hurriedly turned to face my girlfriend, who was standing with a beautiful smile on her face.

“Seems we were meant to be.” She held out her hand, and the familiar glow of holy magic emanated from her palm. Her stella felt different from mine, but unlike the emperor’s, it was like I was drawn to it. It was a mesmerizing feeling, but I couldn’t let myself get distracted right now. It took considerable effort, but I managed to tear my gaze away from Lydia, ignoring the laugh that escaped her at my visible distress.

“Let’s come back to that. What about the time?” I asked again.

“Of course. I’m sorry to say that the two of you have been in the pocket dimension for nearly three days.”

“Three days?! We need to leave, right now!” I again shouted aloud, and when my eyes flicked to Lydia, her smile was replaced with shock. I raised my hand, and opened an exit. The shadow undulated in a big circle, and I felt Lydia’s hand link with mine as she stood beside me, worry plainly etched across her face.

“If it’s been three days in here, doesn’t that mean three years have passed on the outside?” She asked. And Aurora answered in my head.

“She’s right. I’m sorry, Audrey.” She took a breath before continuing. “And my sister’s power seems to have destabilized the dimension, since the two of them established the final part of their bond while Lydia was in here. I’m unsure where you’ll end up on the other side.”

That was worrying. I quickly repeated my goddess’s warning to Lydia, and she nodded in understanding. She squeezed my hand and gave me a calming smile.

“I know as long as we’re together, we can handle whatever comes our way.”

“I feel the same,” I said, and we both nodded in determination. We still had our weapons, most of our armor, and even the blessings of our goddesses. Together, we would carry the devastating loss we had suffered, and continue moving forward.

Because that’s what Auntie and Uncle would have wanted.

With a deep breath, Lydia and I stepped through the shadow hand-in-hand, ready to face whatever waited for us on the other side.