Chapter 17

Something’s wrong… I had waited nearly an hour in the dorm, but the other girls never arrived. Ignoring the request to stay put, I looked for them, asking anyone I came across if they’d seen Lydia or the others. As I ran around campus, the knot in my stomach only grew. Where are you, Lydia?! Not even the instructors had seen them since the tournament ended.

As I neared the back of campus, a commotion drew my attention. A crowd of people had gathered and were pointing towards the forest, so I patted a nearby student on the shoulder.

“Excuse me, but what’s going on?” The boy pointed my gaze toward a section of trees, and with the sun having dipped below the horizon, I saw it.

“Don’t you see that light? It’s so bright that a few people saw it even before the sun went down.” As I focused on it, I could sense the slightest trace of familiar magic. I felt the blood drain from my face as it all clicked in my head. No.. why would she…? I took off, sprinting toward the forest. Why didn’t I realize it earlier?!

I Ignored the whipping branches as I ran, pushing my body as fast as possible. My eyes stayed glued to the light, but as I drew closer, it started to fade. No! I’m not moving fast enough! I racked my brain for a solution and shouted in anger. “I won’t allow you to leave me behind!” and as my words echoed through the empty forest, I felt a response from all around me. The mana stirred throughout the trees, and I stopped. I knew I couldn’t waste any time, but something drew me, and as I crouched near the base of a nearby tree, my hand disappeared into its shadow.

A relieved breath escaped me as I smiled, the shadows responding to my magic. It seems I've discovered my third affinity... “I’m coming, Lydia.”

***

I opened my eyes. The deadly attack I had been expecting didn’t come, and I gasped as the shadow spear hovered right in front of my chest. I backed away in a panic and frantically checked on my attendants. The attacks meant for them were also frozen in place, and as I watched, the shadow spears dispersed.

“W-Why?!” I shouted angrily. “Stop messing around and just do it already!” But the assassin did not respond.

“That’s a request I can’t allow, even from you.” The voice I longed for rang out from behind me, and I gaped in shock as Audrey rose from my shadow. The relief on her face faded quickly as she saw the state Leah and Lucia were in. She knelt beside them, and a soft glow began emanating from her hand. “Total recovery.” As she spoke, my attendant's wounds began to heal, and I couldn’t help but feel relieved.

“Even though I haven’t had much chance to use it, I’m glad I studied,” Audrey spoke again.

“Thank you so much—” I began, but my sentence ended when my girlfriend pulled me into a tight embrace. “W-Wait! The assassin—” Again, I failed to get my words out as she pushed me away.

“How could you!” she yelled at me. Ah… of course she’d be upset; Leah even warned me. “Did you really believe I’d be okay if something happened to you?! You mean everything to me, Lydia!” Her emotions washed over me, stinging my heart.

“I-I was trying to protect you…” Even I wasn’t convinced by my own words. No.. that’s not it…

“Protect me?! We’re partners, Lydia! That means we stand together! But you left me behind!” She cried with tears in her eyes. I couldn’t say anything; my mouth was dry, my lips sealed shut as I looked down in shame. Her hands shook my shoulders. “Say something! Please!” Her desperate plea shook my eardrums, and yet I still stayed silent. Why can’t I speak?

Suddenly, I sensed mana and looked up to see a shadow spear split the air as it moved to hit Audrey. The redhead only stood before I could say anything, her blue eyes flashing into a glowing silver. Just like when she first recovered…

“Fine, we talk about it later.” Her tone was cold as she turned around and caught the attack. “For now, I’ll deal with this nuisance.”

My mind finally snapped back to the current situation as the assassin’s voice echoed through the air again. “Aw, is the show over? Too bad!” Several more shadows moved to hit her, but she didn’t even move. The moment the attack touched her body, the shadows vanished. “H-How are you doing that!” the man screamed in anger.

“It’s simple.” Audrey radiated an explosion of magic as she spoke, and it was so powerful that it warped the very air around her. It wasn’t just her eyes that began to change; her scarlet hair also began to change. Hues of purple and black meshed together, and tiny points of light burst into existence until the locks of her hair seemed to be the night sky itself.

“SHADOW… NO… DARKNESS ITSELF BELONGS TO MY GODDESS. THEREFORE, I AM IT’S ONLY MASTER.” Her voice became layered like a whole crowd was speaking at once. It still sounded like Audrey, but it was also much more. The only way I could describe it was… divine.

She reached into the shadow still in her hand and pulled out a man—The assassin— with her hand around his throat. “YOU HURT THE ONES I LOVE, AND NOW YOU WILL FACE JUDGMENT”

***

My body moved, holding the assassin. My mind felt disconnected, as if my will wasn’t the only factor directing my actions. But the pure hatred I felt for the man in my grasp meant that I didn’t fight whatever was urging me along.

“P-Please, have m-mercy!” The man struggled to say the words, but I only felt disgust.

“MERCY? DID YOU GRANT MERCY TO THE MANY PEOPLE YOU’VE TAKEN FROM THIS WORLD?” It was a little disconcerting, hearing myself talk like that. Just a little while ago, I had said that I wouldn’t be able to take someone else life. Yet, at this moment, I truly understood just how easy it was going to be. If I hadn’t gotten here in time, the three people closest to me would have died, only adding to this man’s body count.

“SCUM LIKE YOU DOESN’T DESERVE TO BE SPARED.” I lowered my arm, bringing his eyes level with mine. His expression froze in one of terror, but it wasn’t enough to stop his last-ditch plea.

“W-Would you really kill me in front of the princess? I-Imagine what she’ll think of you!” My head turned to look at Lydia, who was still on the ground where I left her. Her face had an absent expression on it, but as the conversation turned to her, she looked up.

“You have my permission, Audrey.” At her words, the assassin began to flail wildly. He managed to draw a blade from his belt, swinging it into my arm, but I created a small shadow there. As the blade hit it, the tip emerged from the air next to the assassin's outstretched arm, causing the blade to sink deep into his own limb. I ignored his pained cry and formulated an idea.

“SINCE YOU SCULK IN THE SHADOWS SO MUCH, STAY THERE FOREVER.” I willed my magic into action, and starting from the bottom of his feet, his body started to disintegrate into black particles. His cries rose an octave as his body slowly fell apart. Eventually, he uttered his last words as his head was the last to disappear.

“Y-You B-Bitch.” Even in his final moments, his eyes never showed an ounce of regret. I took a moment to breathe, staring at the moon as I brought my magic under control.

“Audrey? Are you okay?” Lydia’s voice brought me back to my senses as I turned around. I was still quite angry with her, but it could wait until after we got the other two a medical exam.

“I’m fine. Let's hurry and get the girls to a doctor. I don’t have a lot of confidence in my holy magic skills, so it would be best—”

A sudden pulse of magic racked my body, and I stumbled. W-What’s happening? It wasn’t my mana going out of control… I had been releasing my stella unrestrained since I arrived, and I doubled over as waves of pain shot through me. I tried desperately to reign in the flow of divine power again but failed. My whole body felt like it was burning, and I screamed in agony. I sensed Lydia trying to get to me, but I couldn’t hear anything outside of my own head.

All I could do was continue screaming as the world started to spin, the edges of my vision going black. I fought to stay conscious, but it didn’t feel as if I was going to pass out. It felt like I was being pushed out of my own body. My vision distorted, and then… darkness.

***

Huh? Wait, where am I? I was floating above a little clearing, and a wave of magical energy drew my attention. Wait? “I”? Who… am I? Below me, quite a peculiar situation was unfolding. A girl with red hair was crying out in pain, and that was the source of energy I felt. The energy felt incredibly familiar, but nothing else really stuck out to me until a flash of gold entered my vision. My gaze drifted over to another girl, this one blonde, who was attempting to break through the powerful magic waves to reach the first girl. The blonde was yelling, but I was too far away to make out her words.

A part of me wanted to get closer, so I did. Whoever this “me” is… As I drifted downward, it became apparent that I wasn’t visible to the blonde, but I could finally make out what she was saying.

“Audrey! Please! What’s happening?!” The girl did her best to brave the powerful shockwaves emanating from the redhead but was blown backward. Yet she didn’t give up and continued to stand back up. “Audrey! Please come back to me!” Her words were filled with worry, and it made my head hurt.

I clutched at my head. Fuzzy images flashed through my thoughts, threatening to become clear. It hurts! No! I don’t want to remember if it causes me pain! I turned to leave. I needed to get as far away from this little clearing as possible, far away from that girl! But as I ascended into the sky, I was greeted by a woman.

She wore a long, white robe and had silver hair. Her golden eyes looked at me warmly yet held a tinge of panic. “Hello, it’s been a while.” When she spoke, her voice radiated authority and grace.

“W-Who are you?” Again, my head throbbed, but something about this woman and the way she spoke as if she knew “me” stopped me from flying away. She came closer and laid a hand on my cheek.

“This is exactly what I was worried about… you’ve started the transformation into a spirit.” Her touch only intensified the pain in my head, so I backed away.

“S-Spirit? What’s that? Is that my name?” The woman smiled sadly at my response.

“No, my dear. You’re name is Audrey.” My eyes looked back to where the commotion was coming from. It seemed the redhead had almost exhausted herself. The woman followed my gaze, still with that sad smile. “Yes, the same as that girl. Well, to be specific, that girl is you.”

“Agh!” My head felt like it was going to explode. “No! I’m “me”! Nobody else can be “me”!” Again, the woman flew closer and took my hands in hers.

“I know it hurts, but you have to remember! Your name is Audrey Rose, and you are my divine guardian!” I shook my head, but the pain wouldn’t go away.

“No! No! No!” Panic filled my system as snippets of memory came to the forefront of my mind. The woman still held onto my hands, keeping me from fleeing.

This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.

“Please! We’re almost out of time! At this rate, the transformation will become permanent!” She pointed at the blonde girl, who had made it to the redhead and was cradling her in her arms. “Do you see her? She is your partner and loves you with every fiber of her being.” Her finger moved to point out two figures lying in the grass I hadn’t noticed before. “Those two there are like sisters to you! You also have a little sister who is still waiting for her big sister to return to her! Do you really want to leave them behind?!”

Her words finally pulled back the veil I had been trying to keep closed, and I cried out in pain. That’s right… Lydia, Sasha… Lucia and Leah… And I just made friends with Yuzuki! The terror of being at the duke’s mansion… the warmth of the royal castle…

“I-I remember… Aurora.” As I said my goddess’s name, tears rolled down her face as she nodded happily.

“Yes! That’s right!” She pulled us to the ground, where I could hear Lydia crying over the redhead’s—my body.

“No! Why isn’t she breathing?! I’m sorry, Audrey! I swear I’ll never leave you behind again; please don’t do it to me! Please…” Her sobbing wrenched at my heart, but I intuitively knew what I needed to do. Facing my goddess again, I waved at her gently.

“I’ll see you later.” Aurora nodded with a smile. Unlike the last one, this one was bright.

“Indeed, my guardian. Please don’t do this again… I thought my heart was going to stop, which should be impossible!” We both laughed, and I knelt down and pushed my forehead against that of my physical body, and everything disappeared in a flash of white.

***

I awoke with a gasp, my lungs filling themselves with much-needed oxygen.

“Audrey! I’m so glad!” Lydia was still cradling my head in her arms, and she tightened her grip once I opened my eyes. My face was wet with her tears, so I reached up to wipe her face and gave her my best smile.

“It’s okay, sorry to worry you.” Her emerald eyes stared into mine, and it made my heart race.

“Are you able to stand?” she asked. Honestly, my whole body felt like lead, so moving probably wasn’t an option.

“Just give me a couple of minutes to rest on this wonderful lap pillow, and I’ll be right as rain.” Lydia giggled and brushed some hair out of my face.

“Whatever you wish, my lady.” We sat in silence for a while before we heard approaching footsteps. A squad of knights broke into the clearing, weapons at the ready, but as they surveyed the area and noticed us, they rushed over. At the lead was none other than Prince Abel.

“Lydia! Audrey! Is everyone alright?!” His usually carefree attitude was absent as he kneeled next to us. “You aren’t injured, are you?”

Lydia shook her head. “No, we’re both just exhausted, but the others…” Her eyes look over at where a few knights are checking on Leah and Lucia. A female knight who was applying healing magic noticed her gaze and smiled comfortingly at the princess.

“Ah, that knight is a combat medic. It seems the other two will be just fine,” Prince Abel said, which relieved my girlfriend and me. Are you not able to stand? Should I carry you?” His question sounded so absurd that I was at a loss for words.

“W-What are you saying, Brother?! If anyone is going to carry her, it’s me!” Lydia said defiantly. Before I could even say anything, Lydia had gently laid me in the grass and wrapped her arms under my knees and back. She stood up with me in her arms with surprising ease.

“Woah, you’re deceptively strong…” I said in wonder as my arms wrapped around her neck. Her body was slim, and by appearances alone, you would never guess she could lift someone like me. She flashed me a smile as we joined the other knights, who were carrying the attendants on stretchers, and began heading back to the academy. A knight had offered a stretcher for me, but Lydia had refused to put me down.

Okay… this is kind of embarrassing… My face started to flush as the eyes of the knights around us lingered on Lydia and me for just a moment longer than necessary. I turned my face inward towards my girlfriend but soon realized that wasn’t a good idea either, as her uniform had a few slight tears in it. They weren’t big enough to notice from far away, but being this close, I could see just the slightest hint of what was underneath… No! Bad Audrey! I pushed the intrusive thoughts out of my head. While it was true that I had seen her naked before while I was acting as her attendant, we had actually been very careful about that sort of thing since we started dating. We wanted to do things properly, after all.

As I struggled internally with myself, Lydia spoke. “Hey… I know you’re angry about what happened.” Her face and tone were serious, and I berated myself for my outlandish thoughts. Now isn’t the time for that… With everything that happened after I collapsed, I had nearly forgotten I was mad at her. “I promise I won’t ever leave you in the dark again.” Her eyes darted towards me as she finished before focusing straight ahead again.

I laid my head against her shoulder and gathered my thoughts before replying. “Thank you, but why did you do it in the first place? Am I really so unreliable?” The idea pained me, and it must have been evident in my words.

“Goddess, no! It isn’t that!” she bit her lip in frustration, and silence fell over us as we finally stepped back onto the academy grounds. “You deserve an explanation, Audrey. Please don’t think I’m trying to avoid the conversation, but can we talk this out after everything settles down?” It was very unlikely that she would not deal with a problem immediately, and it shook me a little bit. But I also recognized the hesitation in her demeanor, and it was the same hesitation I had felt before.

It’s terrifying to open up to people, even the ones you love and trust. That fear consumes your mind, holding open the way for every bad outcome to flood your imagination. And those thoughts only tighten the noose around your neck until you lose the ability to speak.

I reached up and laid my hand on her face, forcing her to look at me. “I’ll wait, don’t worry. But I won’t fully forgive you until then.” Before I met Lydia and all the others, I believed that my suffering was a burden my sister wouldn’t be able to bear, so I pushed her away. I won’t survive if Sasha abandons me too… So, I preemptively took the option away from her and never gave her the opportunity to prove otherwise. It wasn’t until long after I arrived at the castle and met so many wonderful people that I realized I couldn’t continue as I had been.

So, the day I told Lydia about my past and again when I opened up about my fears of meeting Sasha again… I took a leap of faith—faith in the girl I had grown to love and trust that she would catch me. So I’ll wait as long as it takes on the other side of that jump so that I may return the favor.

Lydia’s smile shined as we looked at each other. “Thank you, Audrey.” Her words were simple but carried an immense weight.

“Anything for you, Lydia.”

***

A few days later, everything was back to normal. Leah and Lucia had a full medical checkup by the royal physician, who confirmed that Audrey’s holy magic had saved their lives. The knights had collected samples of the poison from the few remaining weapons the assassin had used, and after analysis, the results revealed it to be an incredibly dangerous substance known as ‘death’s end’. It was derived from a plant commonly found in the north of the former Kingdom of Yassel. Now, it was part of the empire.

“Are you sure you don’t want to take a few more days off?” I asked worriedly as Leah fluttered around the dorm room, cleaning up.

“Please, my lady. I already rested for three whole days! I feel perfectly fine, so I would like to do my job.”

“She’s right, my lady.” Lucia chimed in while assisting my lady-in-waiting. “Honestly, holy magic is incredible. I felt even better than usual after I woke up. The two of us only stayed on bedrest to ease Audrey’s and your minds.”

“I’m supposed to be in charge, you know?” I muttered while sinking down onto the couch. The guilt of what happened to them ate at me constantly, and I wanted to make it up to them. My eyes met Audrey as she sat across from me while enjoying a fresh brew of tea. She shook her head at my silent plea for help.

“You should let them do what they want, Lydia. The royal physician has approved them, and I’m sure they don’t blame you for what happened, right?” She asked the attendants, who both nodded in agreement.

“Of course not. While I won’t say you were completely blameless, both of us chose of our own will to stand by you, my lady.” Leah said with conviction.

“But you both nearly…” I choked on the final word. They both nearly died, and it would have been my fault… Leah quickly put down the duster she had been using and knelt in front of me.

“My lady…” She took my hands in hers. “Even had the worst happened, I know I would have never regretted going with you.” Her brown eyes were unwavering, and tears pricked at the edges of my vision. Lucia soon followed suit, kneeling with her hand over her chest.

“I vowed to protect you, and I renew that vow now.” the knight intoned solemnly before looking up at me with a smile. “Everything turned out alright in the end, and that’s all that matters. Losing the fight is only the end if you give up, and I know that’s not who you are, my lady.” I wiped at my tears and noticed Audrey was also looking warmly at me.

Lucia’s right. As their princess, it’s my responsibility to ensure they never lose their lives, even if they are willing. From now on, I’m going to take every step and explore every option to protect those I care about. Never again will I be so helpless.

Being confronted so harshly with my own inadequacies made me feel as if I were drowning, and accepting that was something I was still coming to terms with.

“I feel the same way they do,” Audrey said, and her words elated me, Only for her to immediately crash my high. “But I still don’t forgive you.” We still hadn’t spoken about my decision to leave her behind, as I was still struggling to verbalize how I felt. Luckily, she was giving me space and time to figure it out, but this slight distance between us drove me crazy.

“Ah, I need to go train. I’ll see you all later.” my girlfriend said as she looked at the clock. I opened my mouth to say something but hesitated as Audrey left with Lucia in tow. I groaned in frustration now that it was only Leah in the room.

“What is wrong with me?” I said aloud. Leah had resumed cleaning, and spoke while wiping down the table.

“Would you like my opinion, my lady?” I nodded at her, and she continued. “I don’t believe the issue is that you wanted to protect her. You need to put yourself in her place and think really hard about Audrey’s feelings. She’s no longer the frail girl we found on the side of the road.”

Her words struck me like lightning. I folded my hands under my chin in thought. It felt like I was on the verge of understanding my own feelings.

“I see. Thank you for the advice, Leah. I need some time to think things over.” she smiled at me.

“Of course, pretend I’m not here.” Audrey would likely return in a few hours. I’ll take my time so that I can do right by her.

***

“You’re distracted!” Lucia said as she knocked the wooden sword out of my hands. I panted with exhaustion, my hands in the air, as she pointed a practice sword at me. She was right. Ever since the attack, I haven’t been able to think about anything other than Lydia, and my performance has dipped significantly in both magic and sword training.

“Let me guess… It’s about the princess?” the knight asked as we wiped away our sweat with some towels, and I nodded.

“I just can’t stop thinking about why she decided to leave me behind. I know she trusts me… at least, I hope so. But why else would she do that except if she thought I wouldn’t be of use?” Lucia listened quietly as I confided my thoughts. “I promised to give her time, but the longer I wait, the more anxious I get.”

“I can’t speak on her behalf, but if it helps, I can tell you what she said before the assassin attacked.” I urged her to continue as I drank some water. “The princess said she wanted to protect you. I don’t know if that was her only motive, but it would be good for you to focus on that sentiment instead of assuming the worst.” She put a hand on my shoulder and looked into my eyes. “You know she cares for you deeply, so just be patient.”

I sighed in frustration. “I know. I just wish I could do more to help her.”

“You’re doing plenty,” she said, handing me my weapon and gesturing. Let’s focus on training. Are you ready for another round?”

“I’m always ready.” I pushed the distracting thoughts out of my head and moved into a ready stance. “Let’s go!”

***

After training ended, Leah caught us on the way to the dorm. “Audrey, my lady is waiting for you at the fountain.”

“Oh, am I going by myself, then?” the attendant smirked and nodded.

“Enjoy your time alone,” she said, and she took Lucia back to the dorm.

Well, that was a little odd. But I shrugged it off as I made my way to the courtyard. It was the same one where we confessed to each other for the first time. This really brings back memories… Lydia was sitting on the edge of the fountain, dragging a hand through the water as she waited.

“Here I am,” I said as I approached, taking a seat next to her. “Is everything alright?”

“I finally got my thoughts in order, so I figured it was time to talk about what happened,” she replied, drying her hand with some fire magic. Then, she bowed her head to me. “First, I’m so sorry! I wanted to protect you, but in doing so, I disregarded your feelings.” She raised her head, holding my gaze. “I thought about how I would feel if the roles were reversed, and I realized that I would have been angry as well.” I took her hand in mine and stared at the sky. It was still early in the afternoon, so it was a vibrant blue.

“Lydia, everything I have done, the training, the lessons… has been for you. I’m not mad that you wanted to protect me. I want to protect you as well. but I want to stand next to you, not behind you.” Her blonde hair fluttered as she nodded.

“I know… though it took some help from Leah to help me understand. Ever since I found you, I’ve always seen you as the sickly girl you were, someone who needed my protection. But you’re not that person anymore.” She bit her lip, a habit of hers when she’s worried. “I wanted to be worthy of being with you, Audrey.”

Her words froze me for a minute before I burst out in a fit of laughter.

“What’s so funny? I’m being serious!” I shook my head while trying to stifle my giggles.

“S-Sorry! It’s just I’ve told myself those exact words. I don’t know how many times. I’ve always wanted to be worthy of you because you shine so brilliantly in my eyes, Lydia.”

“I should be the one saying that. I truly believe you’re amazing, Audrey.” I leaned in and laid my lips on hers. After a few seconds, I broke away with a grin.

“As long as you understand now. I forgive you.” She returned the embrace, this one lasting even longer.

“I do. From now on, I promise to stay next to you.” We smiled at each other, leaning our heads together to savor the moment.

“Oh my, was that a proposal, my lady?” Leah’s voice startled us as we jumped away from each other. The black-haired woman was standing, walking around from the other side of the fountain with a deadpan expression. “Shall I inform the royal family? They’ll be ecstatic.”

“Don’t spy on your master!” Lydia yelled. “And I meant that we’ll support each other, not that!” her face flushed as she whispered. “It’s too early for that, at least…”

Lucia also appeared with a smirk, and I couldn’t help but enjoy the moment as the princess began to lose against her attendant's teasing.

“A-Audrey, you know what I meant, right?” my girlfriend pleaded for help as she grabbed my hand.

“Of course. Should we wear matching dresses?” I asked, and Lydia pouted. I stood, pulling her along with me. “I’m starving. Should we head back now?” The bickering didn’t stop even as we walked back to our room, but I only had one thought.

I’m so lucky to have met her.