Chapter 10

I watched as Lydia made her way across the room towards Sasha. Every step she took through the crowd seemed to be in slow motion, and the light from the dazzling chandeliers seemed to grow in intensity. The polished wood floor started to spin, the din of the crowd fading. Maybe I should have gone with her… I was starting to regret my decision to stay back, but the doubts in my mind were still gnawing at me.

“Come with me, Audrey. Let’s go get some air.” Leah seemed to notice my state, and Lucia nodded in agreement, so I let them lead me out of the venue. We weaved our way through a garden path, passing under a flowering archway, before they sat me on a bench, both of them taking either side.

“My lady will handle it. You don’t need to worry so much.” Leah’s words made sense, but the intrusive thoughts began to overwhelm me.

“I’m sorry…” It’s only been a month since we last saw each other, but it felt like so long ago. My last conversation with Sasha flitted through my mind, and an uncomfortable emotion took hold of me. My body froze up, my breathing hitched, and came in strangled gasps. It felt like I could feel the blood rushing through my veins, and a dull ringing overcame my ears. Leah and Lucia were trying to get my attention, shaking my shoulders and calling my name as the world once again started to become distant. The cobblestone path by my feet moved closer as I doubled over in pain.

A shaking hand rose and wiped my forehead, coming away drenched in sweat. I’m… So… Cold… Staring at my own hand, terror gripped my body and compounded with whatever was afflicting me. The darkness encroaching on the edges of my vision slowly grew larger before arms suddenly pulled me sideways into a tight embrace. Leah was holding me tightly, one of her arms constricted tightly around my back, the other more carefully around my head. My face was smothered into her chest, and the lack of oxygen forced me to turn my head.

We stayed like that for a long time. It felt like hours and seconds had passed at the same time when the shaking finally stopped, and I regained my breathing.

“Leah… you're squeezing me…” My voice sounded raspy, and my throat still felt constricted, but I no longer felt like I was suffocating. She loosened her embrace but didn’t let go.

“Thank goodness… Do you feel alright now?” Her voice was shaking, and a pang of guilt shot through me.

“Mostly… I-I don’t know what happened…” Leaning back, the bright white light of the moon washed over me. It was incredibly calming, and the moonbeams seemed to sink into me and push the pain away. Rushed footsteps came down the path, and Lucia appeared holding a glass of water. She looked incredibly disheveled and out of breath, but her expression softened when she saw me sitting up. When did she even leave?

“Ah! I’m so happy you're alright!” She handed the glass to Leah before capturing me in a hug of her own. “I was so worried when you wouldn’t respond… and your eyes were glazed over!” Lucia’s outburst took me by surprise, as did her hug. She always seemed to keep a distance between herself and the rest of us. Of course, we all wanted to get closer to her, but her knightly attire made it hard for us to be physical with her like we were with each other, and we didn’t want to make her uncomfortable. That isn’t a problem now! How is she so firm and soft at the same time?! My mind was in shock.

The embrace only lasted a couple of seconds before she sat back down next to me. Lucia’s face was flushed, and she was squirming in embarrassment. “S-Sorry! I don’t know what came over me! You girls are my first friends, and… wait. No. Sorry, forget I said that!” Her hands waved furiously in front of her before she finally bit her lip and looked away.

Leah failed to stifle a giggle and said. “It’s okay, Lucia! We feel the same way!” I nodded in agreement. The heartfelt moment eased my worries, but it didn’t last long as the conversation died. I sought solace in the night sky once again, watching as the countless stars above us twinkled in various colors.

We stayed on that bench for a while, not speaking. Just enjoying the night sky and the warm breeze. Eventually, Lydia came out to find us, saying the party was over. I wanted to ask what she talked to Sasha about, but every time I thought about it, that uncomfortable feeling rose up again. Her expression didn’t give anything away, but I could tell Lydia was slightly uneasy about something.

We once again joined the flow of other students, all filtering back to their dorm rooms. When we arrived, it was a group effort to remove our dresses and makeup. Leah prepared a quick dinner in the dorm kitchen, and we had a peaceful meal together. Then we all settled in bed for the night… which led to my current predicament.

I totally forgot I would be sharing a room with Lydia! I turned over quietly, facing the wall. Surprisingly, the beds were of great quality, so I knew comfort wasn’t the cause of my insomnia. Squeezing my eyes shut, I willed my mind to sleep, but it just wasn’t working. Just when I was considering drastic measures, I heard Lydia’s covers rustle.

“Are… Are you awake?” her voice was quiet. What do I do? Should I pretend to be asleep? She might be upset that I’m still awake since tomorrow is the first day of class. I didn’t speak up while my internal battle raged. Lydia’s bed creaked a bit, and I heard her feet hit the floor. A moment later, I felt the edge of my bed compress. W-What is she doing?!

“U-Um—” I rolled over to speak and froze. Lydia had one knee on my bed, holding herself over me. One of her hands was extended, reaching out to my face. Her golden hair had been freed of its usual bindings and flowed freely over her shoulder, pooling on top of my blanket. The nightgown she was wearing had slipped off one shoulder, revealing some of her collarbone, and I quickly averted my gaze from the sight. My eyes met hers, and I lost what little breath I had left. The moonlight filtering through the window was reflecting off her emerald eyes, an illusion of tiny stars swirling around her irises. The whole image was so surreal and captivating that my mind ground to a halt, and we just stared at each other wide-eyed.

“W-Why didn’t you respond if you were awake!” she whisper-shouted at me once her mind caught up. Her face was flushing violently now.

“I— Uh— Um—” Way to give out on me, brain!

But I couldn’t bring myself to look away from her, even if I was incredibly embarrassed. All I could do was stutter like a moron.

Silence came again before Lydia broke out into uncontrollable giggles. “W-What does that mean?!” She was trying desperately to stifle her voice, but it was apparent it was a losing battle. Her body was shaking so much that the hand she was supporting herself with gave out, and I quickly caught her and rolled her over in my arms.

Lydia was now between me and the wall, my arms still around her. She had her hands over her mouth, still desperately trying to stop laughing. Indignation rose up in my chest as her muffled fit continued.

“So. What was so important that you decided to crawl into my bed for?” I asked in as serious a tone as I could manage. It was taking my whole being to maintain a straight face, but my voice seemed to snap Lydia out of her amusement. Her eyes darted around frantically as if looking for an escape. I only tightened my grip around her, and her eyes widened again as she realized her position.

“Uh—Um—” Her voice started and then stopped, and it was my turn to smile in amusement.

“Look who’s tongue-tied now.”

“B-Be quiet!” she pushed my shoulder playfully, but I didn’t budge. Mostly because my arm is pinned underneath her… I’m starting to lose feeling, but I’m committed now!

“S-So. What did you want?” I cringed as my composure cracked. This time, we both burst into giggles, and I loosened my grip on her. She sat up, freeing my pinned arm, and took me by surprise by laying back down again. We lay facing each other before she finally spoke.

“I’m sorry. It’s just that when I talked to your sister earlier, you two didn’t seem much alike…”

“That is true.” I adjusted myself a little on the bed. “Sasha’s incredibly cute and adorable. There’s no way I could compete with that.” That dark feeling reared its head again.

“I disagree. I find you incredibly cute.” She shook her head. “But that’s not what I mean. It was like she was putting on an act.”

I quirked an eyebrow at that. “Don’t most nobles do that?”

She sighed. “Sorry, I guess I don’t know how to explain it, but it felt off.” That worried me, and it must have shown on my face because Lydia tried to reassure me. “I didn’t mean to frighten you. Don’t worry; whatever is going on, we’ll figure it out and help her if she needs it.” I nodded and returned her smile, but something still wasn’t adding up.

“So what does that have to do with you sneaking into my bed?”

“T-That’s not what I was doing—” she reached her hand back out but stopped short of my face again. “I wanted to see how similar you and your sister looked… but your hair was in the way…” Her hand still hovered in front of me, and the words left my mouth unbidden.

“You can touch it if you want.”

Lydia was surprised, but her hand came closer until it rested on the side of my head, moving through my hair in gentle strokes. My eyes closed against the pleasant sensation.

“Weird,” I said. “This feels familiar, but I’m certain we’ve never done this before.” I opened my eyes to see Lydia smiling at me, and her green eyes were soft. Like her touch.

“We have done this before, actually. Right after I found you, you rested in my lap on the way to the castle.”

“That could not have felt good.” I frowned as I recalled the horrible state my hair had been in back then, and a quiet laugh escaped her.

“It certainly doesn’t compare to now, but even then… I still found it pleasant.”

The subtle noises of the night became louder in the silence following her words. That, combined with the gentle moonlight falling onto her face, caused all of the stress from the day to melt away. Her voice and constant touch were lulling me to sleep. “It’s alright,” she said as my eyes slipped close. "You’ve had a long day. Just rest. I’ll stay right here.” I mumbled a “thank you” before I crashed into the warm depths of sleep.

***

I watched as Audrey’s breathing slipped into a regular rhythm and continued to stroke her hair. It was luxurious compared to the last time, and I found myself being intoxicated by the feeling. My hand found its way to her forehead, lightly brushing her bangs away, then tracing a finger down her cheek, just to start over again.

Oh no… I can’t stop… I’m going to get addicted to this! Everything about her just felt so perfect. Her hair. Her skin. My eyes were drawn to her slightly parted mouth as her breath was drawn in and out, my thumb lightly touching the corner of her perfectly shaped lips… A sober thought shocked me out of my daze, and I withdrew my hand. What was I about to do?! The prospect of leaving the bed, however, proved a daunting one. So I continued to lay there, just admiring her peaceful expression. Audrey’s playful smiles played on repeat in my head, and I groaned quietly in agony. Taking those at point-blank range is too much!

It was a long time before I finally managed to drag myself back to my own bed. The thought of being found with her by Leah and Lucia and the endless teasing that would be guaranteed was motivation enough. After finally settling down again, my thoughts drifted toward Sasha Rose.

Her eyes were not the ones of a twelve-year-old girl. It was normal for nobility to put up fronts and hide their weaknesses, but she was on another level entirely. Audrey had described her as a bubbly, sincere girl, and her facade definitely matched that, but her eyes were cold and calculating. Her smile was just the slightest bit stiff. We had exchanged pleasantries and agreed to a tea party, but Sasha hadn’t let her guard down for a second. Sleep eventually claimed me as I ruminated on what my next move should be.

***

I panted in exertion and doubled over with my hands on my knees. “Why can’t I do it?” frustration evident in my voice.

“Just take it slow, Audrey. Your quick mastery over mana was an exceptional exception.” Lydia grinned slyly at her wordplay. “Struggling to actually cast the spell is entirely normal for mages.”

This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

While I could control my mana down to the fine movements, I couldn’t get it to materialize as a spell. Currently, my assignment was to summon water. Any amount would make me happy at this point, but the only moisture was the sweat on my skin.

“It is only our first day of lessons. Getting too worked up would be counter-productive.” Mr. Tressum said as he observed me from his chair. We were in one of the grassy practice fields behind the academy. It was spacious, with a ring of trees surrounding it and a target range at one end. I had been trying and failing for over an hour now. Lydia and Mr. Tressum had been giving me pointers, but it didn’t help much. Brushing the strands of hair out of my face, I asked for another demonstration.

Mr. Tressum hummed in thought before asking. “The princess and I don’t have water as a strength. The most we’ve been able to show you are weak streams and small orbs. What about your attendants over there.” He pointed dramatically to where Leah and Lucia were watching attentively, and they pointed to themselves in surprise.

“Us?” Leah asked. “I use wind magic.” This took me by surprise, as I hadn’t ever seen her use it before, and Leah only smiled as the wind gathered in her hand.

“Wait. Really?” I asked after I caught my breath.

“What do you mean, Audrey? I use it literally all the time while cleaning.” I could see faint magic particles glowing green around her, but her magic was otherwise invisible. Her billowing skirt was proof that she was indeed using magic, and as I thought back to our time working together, I did remember some strange breezes blowing dust away occasionally. Huh. I guess she did.

Leah released her magic, and the gusts of wind stopped. We all focused our gaze on Lucia, and she shifted nervously at all the attention.

“I use water magic…”

This time, Lydia was surprised. “Why didn’t you say anything sooner?!”

Lucia quickly raised her hands in defense. “I utilize my magic mostly for defense! I didn’t think it would be all the helpful for her…” She took a deep breath, and a film of water rose up, covering her from head to toe. Her voice was unmuffled, however. “See? It’s great for absorbing impacts and defending against fire magic, and I can control its thickness.” The water consolidated onto her left arm and mimicked a shield. "However, I can't even cast the most basic of attack spells..." Her words seemed to match with the visual. It really didn’t look all that strong, so we had her demonstrate.

Lydia and Lucia stood at opposite ends of the field, both readying their magic. Lucia had her sword in her hand, though she wouldn’t be using it for offense during the exercise. Lydia raised an ornate wand that shimmered blue, white, and gold when she pushed mana into it. I smiled to myself at the sight. The royal family really likes those colors, huh?

“All right! Start!” Mr. Tressum called, and Lydia quickly raised her wand, facing her opponent. A deep red flame appeared, and Lydia swung her hand vertically.

The fire stretched into a massive line and moved quickly across the field, scorching the grass in its path. Instead of dodging, the knight took a defensive position, letting her water shield take the brunt of the attack. Steam rose as the magics collided, but her shield ultimately held out as the fire dispersed.

“Ah! I haven’t been able to spar with someone in forever! Can we continue, Dame Lucia?!” Lydia asked excitedly.

“Your Highness… I have reservations about raising a blade against you, but if that’s what you want. It would be good for me as well, as I’ve been on guard duty for so long…”

Lydia launched another attack, but this time it was horizontal. Her flame was still red, however. She must be holding back. Lucia sprinted forward, using the momentum to slide under the attack. She was trying to close the distance between them, as she had no way of attacking from afar. Lydia understood this, and a three-meter flame wall rose between them. The knight wasn’t deterred, however, as she made a sharp turn to run parallel to the fire, dodging fireballs that broke through the wall at the last moment.

“How does Lydia know where she is?” I asked. The flame wall seemed to obstruct both of their sightlines.

“She’s most likely channeling mana to her eyes for a spell called “fire vision.” It’s a fire affinity spell that turns flames invisible. It's very useful when the only flames on the field are your own,” Mr. Tressum explained.

As Lucia neared the end of the wall, the whole thing shifted to keep her in the middle. Lucia slashed a fireball as she realized she wouldn’t be able to get around, and she focused on defense.

“Did she give up?”

“I don’t believe so.” Leah chimed in. “A knight of the royal guard wouldn’t be bested so easily.”

Suddenly, Lucia shot into the air, and a spray of water trailed after her feet as she vaulted over the wall, continuing her advance. Glancing at Lydia revealed a calm smile on her face. Her barrage of fireballs had stopped, but she had raised her hand before bringing her wand down violently. A storm of fire arrows descended on Lucia, but she only raised her sword. She had coated it with her water and swiftly twirled it in a circle, creating a bubble of water around herself. The fire arrows fizzled against the barrier but failed to penetrate it.

Deciding that Lucia was too close, Lydia started to run in the opposite direction, keeping her attention on the knight. Lucia gave chase, but as she started to close the distance, an explosion ripped out from underneath her.

“Woah! Isn’t that dangerous?! What if they get hurt?!” I shouted in shock, but Mr. Tressum only laughed.

“The academy would never allow that. Every practice field has a specialized magical field that automatically negates any real damage.” His words quickly proved true as I saw Lucia appear from the smoke, staggered a bit but unscathed otherwise. I sighed in relief but still didn’t understand what had happened.

“The princess was leaving small bits of mana with every step she took, so while it looked like she was retreating, she was actually baiting her into a trap. When she got close enough, she swelled the mana on the ground into an explosion.” Mr. Tressum’s commentary was very informative, and when I looked closer, I could see the grass was slightly singed where Lydia had stepped. I See.

Lucia also picked up on the trap and avoided following Lydia’s exact path. A swell of water lifted Lucia off the ground, and she glided on top of it, picking up speed as she crashed into Lydia, who had tried to erect a barrier of flame, but it was immediately extinguished. The water quickly surrounded the princess, encasing her entirely.

“She won’t be able to breathe like that!” I cried, and Lucia spoke up.

“I would never do anything so dangerous. There’s a small bubble around her head, with a connection to the air. But she won’t be able to move—” A sizzling sound filled the air, and I could see Lydia start to take slow steps until she emerged from the liquid.

“Your techniques are really impressive, as expected of a royal guard,” Lydia said with a smirk. “Unfortunately, your water isn’t enough to hold me.” Her body was wreathed in flame, much like the king had done before, but her flame was burning white.

Lucia stared in shock, her mouth agape. “You were holding back this whole time…?”

Lydia only smiled in response as our instructor started to explain.

“Her Highness’s flame burns so hot, it can instantly evaporate water? What’s even more impressive is that substances created by magic are more resistant than their natural counterparts. So the point of evaporation for Dame Lucia’s magic would be even higher…”

“When my lady was training, it took more time for her to learn to hold back than to actually grow stronger.” Leah proudly declared that like it was her own achievement.

“That’s true… I would melt the glass when trying to boil the water inside. Or make ice explode when I was only trying to melt it…” Her forlorn look caused me to laugh.

“That sounds just like you, Lydia.” I teased.

“I have it under control now!” she folded her arms grumpily. Lucia yielded the match, and the two of them rejoined us on the side of the field. The magical barrier was already repairing the damage to the landscape.

“You said you only use your magic for defense, Dame Lucia. But your control and intuition for mobility are incredible as well.” Mr. Tressum praised. Lucia scratched her cheek shyly.

“I’ve never been able to match the male knights in strength, particularly my brothers…”

“And you, Your Highness… your raw power and fine control are awe-inspiring as well.” Lydia nodded at his assessment, but I could tell she was happy. He turned to address me. “Audrey, hopefully, this helps with your visualization. I’ll also have you practice with magic phrases for now. I had hoped your talent for mana control would allow you to bypass this step.”

“Magic phrases?”

“There are simple words or sentences that help a mage manifest spells. They are not required, and most mages grow out of using them once they master the basics.” He looked at the four of us. “Though, since you're surrounded by such talent, it’s no surprise you’ve never heard them before.”

“Can they be anything? Or are there specific ones I have to use?”

“Individuals can come up with their own, as long as it makes sense to them, but there are commonly used phrases that invoke the same spell for the majority of people.” He put his hand out and said. “Rock wall!”

He walked up and knocked on the dirt wall that had erected itself in front of us. “For example, the phrase “rock wall” looks like this to me, but for a different mage, the phrase “earth shield” or “dirt pillar” might make more sense in their minds.”

“My fireball spell is invoked by most people with the phrase “fireball,” Lydia added. “Most mages would use that phrase since it’s so ingrained in the literature.” she smiled a little. “Though my father used the phrase “fire sphere,” so there are exceptions.”

It made sense to me, and I felt like I could do it now. “I’d like to try again if that’s okay.” They all nodded, and I moved away from them to focus. So, I just need a strong visual? I can manage that. The image of Lydia’s fireballs came to mind, and I wanted to try to replicate it. I held my hand out, staring intently at my palm, and whispered. “Water ball” while maintaining an image of what I wanted it to look like.

Soon, I could see water droplets coalescing above my hand, and I grinned in triumph.

“You did it!” I heard footsteps running up behind me before Lydia tackled me to the ground in a hug. “And so fast, too! I knew you could!”

“My lady, you interrupted her practice. Save the flirting for the dorm room.” Leah followed behind and helped both of us to our feet.

“I don’t know what you mean.” She dodged it! They took a few steps back, staying closer now that they knew my magic wouldn’t go out of control.

Finally, being able to cast magic excited me, so I once again summoned the water. Then I stepped forward, swinging my hand upward in a vertical slice. I wanted to mimic what Lydia did at the start of the mock battle.

“Water blade!” The water shot forward, even faster than Lydia’s, and collided with a practice target. Nothing happened for a few seconds, then two halves of the circular target fell to the ground.

“Already being able to launch an offensive spell… divine guardians truly make amazing students.” Mr. Tressum let me practice various spells for a while, and the other girls even joined in a little. It was so much fun that the noon bell rang before I knew it, and I begrudgingly went back to the building for my history class.

“Seven hundred years ago, the Hero-King Ezekiel Venyth drove back the forces of the crazed war god Xenis.” Mr. Tressum intoned as he walked back and forth in front of the chalkboard, and I followed along in my own textbook. Learning about history didn’t excite me as much as magic practice, but it was still interesting. “After defeating the divine guardian of war, Ezekiel calmed the raging flames of conflict across the continent. Instead of claiming dominion for himself, he gave the land back to its rightful people, keeping only what we know today as our home, the Kingdom of Venyth.” I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, and Lydia smiled knowingly at me from the desk beside mine. The classroom was originally filled with desks, but aside from the two Lydia and I sat at, the rest had been piled into the corner. Leah and Lucia had borrowed some chairs and were sitting against the wall.

I raised my hand, and he nodded at me to speak. “So, not all divine guardians and deities are good?” I had assumed that being divine made you benevolent. Aurora was the only goddess I’ve met, after all.

He shook his head. “Correct. While most of the divine we are aware of are good-natured, there are a few that wish for humanity's destruction or subsist from mortal suffering.” He pushed his silver glasses up before turning the page in the textbook he was reading from. “Unfortunately, our recordkeeping through history has been less than stellar. The only one we know for sure is malevolent is the war god.”

“Was Ezekiel a divine guardian himself then?”

“He was indeed. The divine guardian of fire, to be precise.”

“You also mentioned he was strong with all four elements… I can’t even imagine the power he wielded.”

“From what we know, there hasn’t been a single soul, today or in the past, that could match him.” The lesson continued on, but my mind was still on the founding Hero-King. I admired the idea of his strength. I wish I could meet him…

After the history lesson finished, my lessons in fine arts started. I practiced embroidery and painting. I started learning the basics of piano, and Lydia helped me with dance. She knew both parts and took the lead for me. I did my best to avoid stepping on her feet, but my clumsy movements had me apologizing often. At first, I didn’t understand the necessity of these lessons or how they would come into play as a divine guardian. But seeing how natural Lydia made it all look, I felt a strong desire to stand alongside her. I want to be by her side. These lessons were enjoyable in their own way, and they made me realize just how much I had missed out on, locked in that dark, tiny closet.

By the end of the day, I was exhausted, but it was a fulfilling feeling. Not at all like what I had felt at the mansion. Returning to the dorm room, the night passed peacefully after a quick study session with Lydia. Once everyone was settled in bed, Lydia’s bed creaked as she rolled to face me.

“Don’t you want to know what I talked to your sister about?”

Her blunt question knocked any semblance of sleep from my mind. Rolling over to face her, I stared at her emerald eyes, which flickered with worry. After losing our staring contest, I faced the ceiling instead. I had been purposely avoiding the topic since yesterday.

“I guess… I’m scared.” The moonlight filtering through the window illuminated the scarce dust in the air as I thought about Sasha. The words died in my throat as the thoughts I’ve been suppressing since I saw her rose to the surface, and that dark feeling settled over my heart. Lydia inhaled softly, letting a moment pass, and when it became apparent I wasn’t going to speak again, she calmly gave me an escape.

“You don’t have to tell me if you’re not ready to yet…” Her beautiful, clear voice was brimming with affection and concern, and I held back the tears that threatened to obscure my vision.

“Thank you…”

“Of course…”

An awkward silence filled the room. Lydia’s covers rustled as she rolled away from me, and loneliness assaulted me. My fist clenched in frustration as I held myself back. Every fiber of my being screamed to ask for her help, but I wasn't even certain about what was bothering me so much. But I feel that this is something I have to face myself…