It was the next morning. The Kochi hospital was busy. The waiting areas were full of patients, and the staff scurried around carrying out their duties.

The air filled with a tangy aroma of chlorine. Sitting in his bed, enjoying the breakfast brought by Aditi, Darsh looked wistful.

"You know I used to hate this smell." Aditi gave a questioning look. He smiled.

"I used to avoid hospitals. I thought they were only for old people and pregnant ladies. Vicki's accident was the first time I ever spent more than an hour in a hospital, but now it feels like home."

Like home! Really! Aditi smirked. He looked offended.

"It's the truth! I used to hate hospitals but now I like them. You should see our hospital in Palampur. People love it. They come from places to see it. We are now better than Rajpur Hospital and many others in the area. And the facilities and doctors are no less than any Delhi hospital."

"Sure." She was heartened by the pride with which he said 'our hospital', but she wasn't sure how good this Kochi Hospital would prove for him. It was nothing to do with the place itself. It was to do with her, and her history with Dr Ashish Reddy.

"You should have stayed in Palamur. You shouldn't have come here." Her voice was full of foreboding. He shook his head.

"They don't have the medicine I need, nor the doctor."

The eye lock that followed was pensive, full of longing and regrets for lost time. Yet there was hope for the future. Tomorrow will be another day.

Aditi patted his arm.

"You should rest now. I'll see you later. The nurses will give you medication and Zorawar is here but text me in case you need me."

"Don't go yet. Please. We have never been like this before. It feels nice." He held on to her arm like a child. She gently rescued herself.

“We’ll have more time. I promise.”

Her throat had a lump when she gathered his reports and came out. She had to get on. The main test was just about to begin.

*****

"So Dr. Sharma. I hope this time you got enough time to study your patient." Sitting behind the glass desk of his office, Dr. Ashish Reddy smirked. Aditi stood in front of him, obediently, thinking just how much depends on this conversation.

"Yes, thanks for the extra time you allowed me. I was able to get more tests done."

"Sure. Not a problem. I wouldn't want you to think we are being unfair to you. Anyway. Are you ready for the procedure?"

"Um…about that. I did some research. I think we can save the leg. There is no need for amputation if we try this new medicine…”

He raised a hand to cut her short.

“I know what you are up to Ms. Sharma. I know you have been in touch with my colleagues to take a second opinion, which I’d like to remind you, undermines mine, but unfortunately for you, it hasn’t worked. They agree it’s impossible to save that leg. So please get on with what I suggested.”

"But we can save the leg! I know it’s a fairly new medicine and is still under trial but I think in this case, we should give it a go. Surely, considering the patient’s welfare…"

“It’s not your job to consider the patient’s welfare, Ms. Sharma,” Ashish thundered. “Your job is to get through your final assessment, which I’d like to remind you is already late. Any further delay on your part will be considered as deliberate stalling.” She stared speechless. He pressed on.

“The first time you complained you didn’t get enough time to study the case. You got cold feet in the OT and failed to perform. Now you are unwilling to do the procedure and instead want to try this new medicine. Let me tell you how this looks. It shows you in a bad light. As if you are not confident enough in your ability.”

“But that’s not true! You know I have done other surgeries; I have the required confidence and skills…”

“Then show them in the OT. Perform the procedure, take your degree, and leave. We won’t discuss this matter any further.”

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She looked numb as if a bucket of cold water was poured over her head. Ashish got up from his chair and came to stand in front of her.

“My darling Aditi. I am sorry to be a pain in the ass, but I cannot help it. I know what this patient is to you, and that is why I have arranged this special torture for you. Enjoy it while you can and leave once you are done. My best wishes go with you and your lover.”

“Ashish, please. I can’t do this.”

“Are you suggesting someone else should take over from you?” He tilted his head, eyes glinting with glee. “I will do the honors, gladly.”

“NO!” she spluttered, horrified. “No, please. I didn’t mean that. I’ll handle the case. Let me. Please.”

He shrugged.

“Fine. You are in charge anyway. Tomorrow we’ll meet in the OT for one final time. Do it and be off. I don’t want to see your face again.”

*****

She sat dumbly wringing her fingers. It was night. Neev had played and fallen asleep again. Darsh watched her as he cradled Neev in his arms.

“Let’s just do what he says. The others have given up on that leg anyway. At least you’ll get your license.”

“No. We can’t let him bully us. The amputation is the last resort unless we have exhausted all other options. We must get a choice. You must get a choice.”

“The choice is clear, Aditi. And we have already saved what was worth saving. The leg is not important.”

She scoffed and ignored him. He had no idea what he was talking about. She had seen people after amputations. It took them ages to recover, not just physically, but mentally.

More importantly, she wouldn’t be able to take it. A man like him, so virile, so full of life – she could not imagine him limping around with crutches.

She got up and started pacing the room. Darsh sighed and signaled Zorawar to take Neev away.

“Come here.”

She stopped and went closer. “What? Do you need anything?”

“Sit by me.”

She sat by his side. He took her hand into his.

“Look at me.”

“May I know what this is all about?”

“Do you think I’ll be…lesser without a leg?”

What did he say? She stared horrified.

“Do you think…you’d be ashamed of a man like me beside you?”

“I’d be ashamed of a man who thinks so less of me!” Furious, she snatched her hand back. He sighed and grabbed it again.

“I thought so too. Then let’s not fight over it. Let’s get it over and go. If I had gone to any other place, they would have done the same. There is no point stressing over it.”

He didn’t understand. It was her fault. It was her brother’s doing. She could not sit straight until she had undone the damage.

She stayed until he fell asleep, then came home with Neev. Her brain whirred with possibilities, but none looked promising. She could admit him to some other hospital, but there too the chances of them saving the leg were slim. Not many hospitals allowed under-trial medicines and it was unlikely they would listen to a junior doctor like her.

Should she talk to Ruchi about Ashish? But that might do more harm than good. It might draw a wedge between the siblings and Ashish would give Darsh’s case to someone else, who in turn would have no compunctions about removing his leg.

Thoughts made her tired. Her brain stopped working. Finally, she did the thing she always did in such situations. She called Dr. Asthana, Sonal’s Dad and the Dean of her former college.

*****

It was ten the next morning. The surgery was in an hour. But there was no word from Dr. Asthana. Last night when she spoke to him, he hadn’t sounded very encouraging. If the leg was bad, it had to go he said. But it depended on the attending surgeon’s discretion, experience, and knowledge. He said he’d talk to a few people and get back. But she hadn’t heard from him since then.

She was at a loss. It felt like the decision was made. She had no choice. No choice at all.

Her hands trembled as she put on her scrubs. She saw the attendants take Darsh to the OT. Unlike her, he was calm, resigned to his fate. Their eyes met and each sent an ‘all the best’ to the other.

*****

It was fifteen minutes to 11. Dr. Ashish Reddy was not there. Without him, she could not begin. He was her supervising surgeon.

They waited. Aditi wondered if this was another of his tricks, that this time too, the nurses and attendants were in it with him, but they too looked surprised. It was unlike him to miss an assignment, they said. He was after all a very responsible member of staff.

As the minute hand neared 12, she wondered if the surgery would be called off. Without a supervisor, there could not be an exam. And without Dr. Reddy, there definitely could not be her exam.

Alas, she saw another gentleman in white scrubs entering the room. In age, he looked close to her Dadaji. In gait, closer to Aron.

“Hello, young lady. I am Dr. Walia.” He shook her hand vigorously, showing her his ID. She hadn’t seen him around before, but the others seem to know him well.

“I am afraid Dr. Reddy has been detained otherwise. So I’ll supervise this surgery today. I hope you don’t mind?”

She looked astounded, then relief flooded her. Not at all. She did not mind at all!

*****

It began. In front of her was Darsh lying on the operating table. Around her were the same nurses and attendants that were there previously. The difference was just that Ashish wasn’t there. And by God, it was such a weight off her mind.

On one side was Dr. Walia, watching as if he was in a movie theatre and not in an operation theatre.

“Remember, young lady. This is not just a test of your skill. It’s a test of your judgment. You must make decisions that are right for the patient, and not what you want to be right for them.”

Was it a warning? She didn’t know, but she nodded and got on. Calmly, she explained to the patient what she was about to do, then signaled the anaesthetician to proceed.

*****

It took her two hours to clean the leg – to remove the bad tissue and the pus. She put a rod in for extra support to the bone, making sure the nerves and tendons were undisturbed. Last came the stitches and she was a pro at them. Once finished, it looked good as new.

“I thought you were supposed to amputate it.” Dr. Walia said in the end, his face showing no other emotion but curiosity. She swallowed.

“I thought I was supposed to do what was right for the patient. And I think this leg still has life in it.”

***** *****