He was shirtless. In the ambient lights of the kitchen, his silhouette looked tantalizing. She had seen many, but none like him.

Swallowing a dry gulp, she turned to go back to her room. This was clearly not a good time to get water. Maybe she should return later. When it was safer.

She had barely taken a step when he called her.

"You can take water, you know. I am not going to eat you."

Grimacing, she turned back to walk into the kitchen. Was her gown too rumpled? Was it too... see-through? Did it need to be when the top buttons were undone?

She cursed herself and walked to the fridge, willing herself not to clutch at her neck. Next time she'd have to remember not to walk around half-naked. This was not the right time, nor the right place, and definitely not the right man.

Leaning against the worktop, he watched her casually as he twirled a glass of water in his long fingers. His muscled shoulders were hunched, his other hand stuffed in his baggy pants pulling them down to the V of his flat stomach. She tried not to look. He was definitely the finest specimen of the male species she had come across. How she would love to use a scalpel to open his heart and carve her name on it - now that would be the ultimate revenge!

Startled, she shook her head. Sour grape, he was. She would never get him. He would never want her the way she wanted him. Why couldn't he just go and put a damned shirt on, she didn't know.

"If you are done you can go." She reminded him crossly as she emptied a cold bottle into her jug. He raised an eyebrow but didn't move.

"I would like to continue our conversation."

"The conversation has ended. There's nothing more to talk about."

"It's not ended until we get a satisfactory outcome."

"Just because you don't like the outcome doesn't mean you are allowed to change it. There are two parties involved, remember?" Her eyes glistened as she gave him a scathing look. He went quiet, his eyes unbearably tender. His silent gaze bore into her until she flushed and looked away. Why did it feel like he had more to say than he let on? But then why did not let it out if he had more to say?

"I am leaving. Good night." Restless, she turned to the door when he shot forward to block her. Her head spun as a musky scent hit her nose. It was the scent of his damp skin, the salty odor of his body. It reeked of...maleness. Shivering, she tried to shift herself out of its hazy stupor when his arm went around her waist. Gentle, it was, not even too insistent, but enough to send her body in an infuriating shock.

He smiled as his hand came to rest on her hot cheek.

"I don't think you liked the outcome either."

"What makes you think so?"

"You. Your face, your flush, and the fact that you are here."

She felt herself coloring. "I am only here because I'm hot and thirsty." Ermmm...that didn't sound very right. She looked at him confused only to see a mysterious grin on his face.

"Me too."

His gravelly voice brought her jitters. She stared at him, her heart thudding erratically yet her throat ached in suffocation. How easy it was for him to say those flirty things and how difficult it was for her even to contemplate them. This - when he was her husband and she was his legally wedded wife. She felt like an imposter like she didn't deserve this tenderness, like she was in someone else's place, someone he loved, who deserved these moments more than her.

Shameless, she was, to stand here in the arms of a man who didn't love her. As if a begger waiting for a morsel at a door that was long past slammed in his face.

She closed her eyes as a tear fell. A pitiful whimper escaped her lips as she swayed on her feet. Alarmed, he shot forward to grab her shoulders.

"Aditi! Are you okay?"

She didn't answer. She couldn't. His arms wrapped around her, hugging her close. It felt so nice here - warm, safe, cherished. Did he cherish her? Yes, she knew he did. There was no question about that, he had proved it umpteen times. Maybe not the way she wanted, but if she just forgot that part... then it will be alright. If she just...let go, she will be alright.

She closed her eyes as she leaned into his arms, giving herself away. He hugged her closer, but was confused.

"Aditi? What happened? Please tell me you are ok..." Darsh stroked her head worriedly, then wrenched her away to look at her. Turning, he dipped his fingers in the cold water of his glass and sprinkled it on her face. She opened her eyes and smiled. Here was the proof. He did care, in his own way. He had done it so many times before, how could she forget?

"Hold me Darsh." She inched closer to nuzzle her face to his chest, broad, hard, safe.

Yeah...maybe if she did this, all her problems would be solved. All those dastardly doubts would fly away. She just needed to trust. Forget and forgive, as her Dadaji said. Like yesterday, like today, it could be the same every day. If only she stopped expecting what she couldn't possibly get. If only she stopped begging for the love that was never hers. He was her husband, what else did she want? Life will be heaven, if only she stopped thinking too much. Yeah... Maybe this was the way to go - relinquish control, and go with the flow. Holding herself back had never worked, maybe losing herself to this man would?

This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

"Aditi? Are you okay?" He asked tucking a loose tendril away from her clammy face.

She gazed at him tenderly, her haze taking over her brain. Or was it the heat? She did not know. All she wanted now was to be with him, forever and ever and ever. It didn't matter if he didn't love her. It took a special kind of shamelessness to do this, but if she just managed this, everything will be fine.

"You want me to give you a chance, right?" She asked through her lashes.

"Yes." He pursed his lips, frowning at her as if she was ill. "I want us to be together."

"Of course. What can you give me in return?"

He sighed. "You can have anything, Aditi. In fact, everything that is mine is yours."

"Not everything, no." she laughed as if it was the biggest joke. Everything that was his was not hers. She did not have his heart. Maybe he'd already given it to someone else. Yes, that must be it. Now that she thought of it, it felt entirely possible. How lucky the woman was, not in his life, yet in his heart.

No, she didn't want his heart, she shook her head decisively. She wanted the rest of him. Yes, that was it!

She gave him a curious look. This was what he'd wanted all the way. This was what he had planned all along. Now that she wanted it too, how would he take it?

She shuffled closer to press herself to him. Her long fingers ran through his messy hair feeling the silken feel. It didn't matter if he didn't love her, her love was enough for both of them. It didn't matter if he couldn't give his heart, her heart was large enough for both of them. Once the unnecessary jargon was cleared, what was left was crystal clear - the very physical, raw, hunger; an insatiable need that gnawed at her bones clouding her brain.

Rising on her tiptoes she planted a gentle kiss on his cheek. He looked startled, taken aback.

"Aditi, stop this, please. Are you drunk?" Frowning, he put his fingers on her brow to check her temperature. It was hot, yes, she was hot. Sighing he checked her pulse at her wrist. It was racing, her breath was so haggard.

"You wanted this, right?" she pulled back, cupping his face with her clammy hand. "You wanted me to be sensible, you wanted us to get on like a normal couple?"

"Yes, I did. But not like this." His face was red, not with heat but with something else. Was it anger? Guilt? Or his trademark shame? "Come back to your senses Aditi. Please." He shook her haphazardly, his desperation getting the better of him. Her hair fell on her face, then back, some sticking to her wet face. She smiled through her traces as she looked at him. He was so adorable when he acted with such concern.

"I am in my senses." Her voice was quiet, decisive enough to tell him she meant what she said. She didn't even know what was senseless about it, she was a grown woman, demanding her right from her own husband.

"I need you. Now. Once you said you'd heal me. Do it now Darsh Rathore. Now is your chance. Take it now or hold your peace forever. I won't bother you again, but then I won't be here to bother you again."

He looked flabbergasted. "What do you mean?"

"I mean I'd be gone." She shrugged as if it was the most obvious of the things. "Tomorrow morning, or maybe tonight itself. You don't have to worry."

"This is insane," he gave her an incredulous look. "Have you gone crazy? You don't want this Aditi, not like this. Come back to your senses..."

"I said I am in my senses!" she snapped in irritation and shirked him away. Stepping to the sink, she picked up a small kitchen knife that lay on the drying rack. It was sharp enough to do the job but not like her favorite scalpel. She tested the edge on her wrist to draw a little blood. Just a little, to confirm it was in working order.

"C'mon Darsh, let's get on with it. We've been married a month. And didn't you say before you'd take care of me?"

"Aditi." He closed his eyes tiredly, his own tear trickling down his face. Why was he crying she didn't understand. Shouldn't he be happy?

Sighing, he hid his wet face in his hands, rubbing his eyes until they turned blood red. Irritated, she marched forward and wrenched his hands away.

"So? What have you decided?"

He gave her a hard look, his jaw set like a stone mask. Pursing his lips decisively he straightened himself, then pulled her closer to kiss her on the mouth.

*****

He was gentle. So gentle it didn't even feel like it was him. The way he caressed her, cuddled her and kissed the top of her head a hundred times felt more like a lullaby - as if he wanted her to fall asleep before anything happened. But she refused to fall asleep. Tonight was hers. She would get what was her due. He may hold back his heart but the rest was hers to claim.

Smiling she got up and got rid of her flimsy dress. The stark walls of his room glimmered as she walked toward him. He looked dazed, yet somehow still in control. His eyes resolutely stayed on her face, refusing to wander southwards.

"Aditi, are you sure..."

Of course, she was. What was there to be unsure of? This was how the 'arrangement' was supposed to work all along, right? This was what they had planned for her, she was just executing the instructions to the last detail.

She stood by the bed, next to him as he sat against the pillow, breathing hard. Moments passed as she stared at his grim face, a shadow of doubt flickering in her heart. But she quashed them before they took hold. This was the right thing to do. All along, this was the right thing to do.

She pulled him closer, gently pressing his head to her naked bosom, raking her fingers through his hair, consoling him in a soft voice.

"It's okay Darsh. We are in this together."

*****

Morning came. Aditi woke up to a gentle chirping of birds. The room was still dark as the curtains were pulled, but she could make out a thin strip of light underneath.

What time was it? Squinting her eyes she looked around, to her bedside table for her clock. But it wasn't there, wait, this was not her room.

Last night...they had come here to spend the night. He had carried her up, his face in a mask, slowly, so slowly she could have counted the steps ten times over. Did he think she'd change her mind? She shook her head as she smiled. No. Her days of dithering were over. Her days of waiting for someone to do the right thing were over. She was in a mess that she had to sort herself. And if it meant someone else suffered, then be it.

Smiling she pushed herself up on her elbows and sat against the pillow. She was hurting, it was not easy, but then she hadn't expected it to be. Luckily her husband was gentle, too gentle for her liking. Not once did she think he lost control. Not once did he look like he wasn't regretting this.

Well, each to his own. She definitely wasn't regretting it. It felt like she was finally free, really, truly, and irreversibly.

Smiling she yawned and stretched her arms to relieve the sweet ache. There was a knock on the door and Shanta bai entered.

"Good Morning," the woman said as she took in the scene. There was nothing to look at, her husband had cleared the mess, but the rumpled bed and her own state confirmed her understanding. The woman smiled approvingly. "Karuna Madam wants to know if you'd come down for breakfast?"

***** *****