"And what if... he falls for her? What if she tells him the truth?"

"That will never happen. He is still hung up on Ananya. And our princess is too proud to share her shame so easily."

Darsh felt as if a bucketful of ice-cold water was poured over his head. That one sentence was enough to shatter all his misconceptions. He had thought Ananya was a secret only a few people knew, but apparently, he was wrong. The world was a smaller place than he thought, and full of smaller people, meaner and more vicious than he ever knew.

"Mr. Parmar - Ajay's father - met with Ananya's father a few months ago. They got talking, and that's when this all came out." The discussion had taken them to common acquaintances and then to Darsh Rathore. KD Sahay had been only too delighted to recount how he had snubbed Darsh and saved his precious daughter in the nick of time.

"You can't be too careful," he had told Mr. Parmar sagely. "These scumbags are always looking to trap rich girls from good families. Luckily Ananya saw sense and followed my advice. Or else..."

Darsh felt his bile rising again. How well they knew him, both Ajay and KD Sahay. And here he thought nobody knew the real him. How deluded he was, lost in his own world, wallowing in self-pity and self-hatred. How little had he looked outside, how little he knew about the people he thought he knew so well.

But something still did not add up. There was a missing piece, but he didn't know what. The picture was clear, yet it didn't make sense. He had to ask Sam that one, last question.

"You still haven't told me everything Sam" he narrowed his eyes and Sam pursed his lips. "Why did you keep it for so long? Why didn't you tell me that day when I called from Palampur? And I still can't believe Vicki will go to Aditi with that ghastly proposal. He will never do it. He will never give in to such bullying..."

"Well, that just shows how little you knew your own brother, doesn't it?" Sam snapped, and for the first time Darsh noticed the boy's belligerent tone. His face was ashen, he was holding back his tears. "You are here now because now you want to know the truth. But where were you when Vicki needed you? You were busy in your own little world, you never spared him a thought. He was lonely. If you had spared him some time, maybe he would be more open to you."

What was he going on about? Darsh was puzzled. There was truth in what Sam said but why did he look so...affected?

"Sam, please. This is the last time I am here and this is the last time I'll ask you. For Vicki's sake, just tell me the truth. I know you cared for him. I know you were best friends..."

"He is my best friend," Sam screeched as if a lid had popped a bottle. "Not just a friend but much more than that. We were close, closer than you think. And that's why Vicki is in this state today."

*****

Darsh stared as the boy blabbered on, unable to control what he had kept buried in him for so long. It came out bursting like a volcano, bringing forth the truth that he should have seen long ago.

"Vicki was shy, introverted. He needed you but you were busy in your own world. He became more and more lonely. That's when we came close. It was like two kindred souls had found each other."

"But Ajay came to know and so did Paddy. They used to jeer at us and have fun at our expense. It was still okay, there were other couples in college and we didn't think much of it. But that night Ajay lost it completely."

"He said he would expose us. My parents would die of shame, my sister will never marry. And you...what would you, Darsh Rathore, the most desirable and masculine man in Delhi will do when he found his brother was gay?"

"He told Vicki you would be ashamed of Vicki. That we should keep it from you. Vicki was not even your real brother, and you had your own problems to handle. You wouldn't think twice before throwing him out of the house."

"That's bullshit! I would never..." Darsh rubbed his face as the burden in his heart increased a thousand times. It was a slap on his face as he realized his self-indulgence had cost him his brother.

"Well, too late now. Whatever is done is done." Sam kicked the door open and got out, then turned to give him an accusing look. "I hope at least now you'll do the right thing. I don't know why you married Aditi when you are still in love with Ananya. Ajay said you'd do anything for money." He looked disgusted and Darsh didn't know where to hide his face. For this boy of twenty-one to give him lessons in decency was too much to handle.

"Vicki loved Aditi like a sister. If he wakes one day and finds what you have done to her, he would rather be dead than alive."

*****

Darsh didn't go home immediately. For some time he wandered on empty streets gathering his thoughts. It proved useless. His head hurt, and his stomach still felt queasy. It was futile to look for peace when his heart was somewhere else.

It was nearly five in the morning when he reached home. As expected, his wife stood on the steps waiting for him. Her fists were clenched, and her face was white. She looked like a student who'd worked hard for an exam and now waiting for their final result. Or like a criminal, waiting for the juries to announce their verdict; to give their judgment for a crime they did not commit.

Darsh shook his head. He was no one to judge her. He had made that mistake before and paid for it dearly.

If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.

Aditi came close, then raised a hand to wipe the corner of his mouth - she must have found some leftover muck. Her brows furrowed as she smelt his puke and took in his grimy shirt. Sighing she held his hand to lead him in.

*****

She didn't ask questions. She stood him in the shower and removed his shirt to clean him. He kept watching as her fingers moved gently, with precision, taking care not to touch his bare skin.

Here they were after two months of marriage. So close yet so far apart. So...so entangled yet detached. Life without each other was impossible. Yet together they were like cogs of a broken wheel. Ajay was so right. Living with him was the best punishment for her. He would never love her and neither would he let her go. He would keep he in his home, in his room but wouldn't give her a place in his heart. She would be forever an outsider, a woman he married out of greed, guilt, and need. Now the greed was gone, only the guilt remained. As did the need - the galling, crippling, desperate need to be with her.

His body flared at just the thought of it. His eyes descended to her lips - her luscious, pink yet faded lips. One kiss would restore their color, one kiss would bring the sparkle back to those dead eyes. But he didn't dare it. He had no strength left to play with her emotions any longer.

She cleaned him quietly, her calm gaze never once straying to his questioning one. Why was she still here with him, he did not know. How she had managed to fall for him even after such an ordeal? She was barely two weeks into it when he had landed in Palampur, burning with the hot fires of his misplaced revenge.

It just showed the strength of her soul, the purity of her heart. Her ability to love came from there. Maybe that was why he had failed to love her. He had never possessed the strength - the honesty and innocence that could mend a broken soul and give it the strength to move on.

"I have been an asshole, haven't I?" He asked as she turned the shower off and grabbed a towel to dry him off. She didn't answer. She didn't need to answer what was obvious.

"Will you ever forgive me?"

That too didn't warrant an answer. She had forgiven him the day she tore off his annulment. Only he had been too arrogant to realize his good fortune and gone on to squander it at the first chance.

She finished drying his hair, then left him to finish the job. A while later she returned with a glass of warm milk. He drank it obediently, then stared at her before pulling her close to sleep. Whether she liked it or not, he needed it desperately. His eyes soon became heavy as he snuggled into her bosom like a child seeking comfort. She hugged him close, stroking him, running her gentle fingers through his hair. Soon his pounding stopped as he drifted away blissfully.

*****

He woke up to find the sun shining brightly. It was well past noon. An aroma of his Ma's spices wafted into his bedroom and he was reminded of his ravenous hunger. But ten minutes later when he came down his Ma was nowhere to be seen. It was his wife in the kitchen, cooking him lunch.

"Do you want to go see Vicki?" Aditi placed a plate in front of him and asked.

Ravenous, he started gobbling, then gave a stupid nod. Yes. It was long overdue. A visit to his brother to spend some quality time was what he needed so badly.

*****

An hour later they arrived at Dr. Chatterjee's nursing home. For the first time in the past three months, Darsh touched his brother. Gently he lifted Vicki's lifeless hand to place in his own. His other hand ran through Vicki's hair but his brother remained motionless.

Silently he apologized to Vicki for not being there for him. And believing in the lies of his so-called friends despite his better judgment. He had been remiss in his duties - towards his brother, towards his wife. Towards the very small number of people who actually cared for him and did not wish him dead.

"I am sorry for this," Aditi's melodic voice soothed him like cool rain. "It was not his fault. He didn't have to suffer, but I wasn't thinking straight that night. I just told Zorawar to go after them. If I had been specific about Ajay and Paddy, maybe Vicki would not have suffered this much."

He waved her away. It was not her fault. He had failed his brother and he had failed his wife. His own life was messed up and along with it, he had messed up theirs. Ananya was long gone, yet he had kept her shadow alive. Like an undead corpse, he had allowed her to haunt his present. He suffered and he subjected his wife to the same suffering. His brother's life too was now nearly forfeit, he too was a casualty of those six years of mourning. Six years was a long time, he realized now that he thought of it, too long to pine after someone who had forgotten all about him and got on with her life happily.

They came home and he took his wife's hand to hold her close. She met his eyes calmly. She had nothing to hide now. Everything was bare, literally. All her secrets were out and her eyes were again clear, shining with honesty.

Sighing, he cupped her cheek. "Is it... too late to rectify my mistakes?"

Her eyes dimmed. "I don't want pity."

"I am not offering pity. I am offering... respect. " He lowered his eyes. He still could not utter the word 'love'. Now he understood why his supposition theory hadn't worked. He had never meant it to work. He had held back his heart. And she knew it, that was why they were here in the first place.

"Respect? Can you not do better than that?"

"I am trying. It will take time..."

She swallowed a lump and looked away. He could hear her unsaid words - How long will he take? Will it be possible in this lifetime? If she could love him despite his sins, why couldn't he love her when she was not to blame for hers?

"I don't want to lie to you Aditi," he bit out an honest reply. "You deserve better. All I can say is - I need you. I need you like one needs food, water, and air. I can't live without you and that had been the case ever since I met you." Like food, water and air, yes, that was it. You don't love those basic necessities yet you need them to stay alive. He was surprised at himself. For the past six years, he had got on with life, living like a monk yet trudging on nonetheless. But this time he knew it was different. He won't survive without her, he wouldn't want to.

*****

Aditi stared at him. What he was saying sounded like love yet he insisted it was not. Either he was confused or she was. But at this moment she was too tired to find out.

She leaned into his touch and closed her eyes. Whether he loved her or not, did not matter. All that mattered was that she loved him. She needed him like food, water, and air. Like the breath in her lungs, like the beat of her heart. Like the very blood flowing in her veins. She wouldn't survive without him. She wouldn't want to.

The kiss that followed was slow. Like a sweet venom, it spread through their bodies - lulling, beguiling, paralyzing their brains. All she was aware of was the heat exploding in her core and melting her heart. And all he had done so far was to hold her in that gentle embrace.

Breathless, she opened her eyes to stare into his fathomless ones. How mysterious they were, even after all these days she had been unable to gauge their depths. Maybe this was her destiny to watch from above and wonder how it would be to sink into them. How it would be when he actually opened his heart and let her in.

"Darsh...I ...I..." I need you - that was what she wanted to say but she could not utter it. Instead, she said what was easier for her to say. "I love you. I...love you, I love you."

"I don't Aditi. I am sorry. And so you have to leave."

***** *****