How life goes on! Days pass like shadows in search of a substance. Every destination seems like yours from afar, but as we draw closer, it turns out to be a mirage.

Three years had passed. Three long, and lonely years, yet she was still there, waiting.

Sitting on the golden sands of Harihareshwar beach, Aditi gazed into the sunset. In front of her were two kids building a sandcastle. Each time a wave washed ashore, the castle crumbled to the ground, yet the kids rebuilt it enthusiastically - bigger and better.

Aditi gave a wistful smile. How easy they made it look, yet she knew how hard it was.

"I can't believe how fast Neev is growing. It feels like just yesterday when he was a baby." Ruchi, Aditi's best friend for the past three years, gave Neev a fond look. Aditi smiled.

"I can say the same about Anshul. He barely reached my waist when we first met in Palampur. And look at him now. Soon he'll be taller than me."

Yes, the five-year-old boy she had met in Palampur and let ride on Aron had indeed grown taller. That day when she met the little family at Sunset Point, she hadn't thought they will cross each other's path again. Yet here they were, three years later, as best friends. Dr. Saket and Ruchi Jaykar - the famous neurosurgeon couple in Kochi. Saket was also a visiting lecturer at the Kochi medical college where Aditi met him when she joined the course.

Life had strange ways. People you think will be with you forever leave you in the middle. And people who you never hope to meet again, become your life's support.

Sighing, she turned back to the sea. The setting sun had painted the horizon orange. Waves of molten gold rose in the sea. In the distance, a ship floated calmly toward its destination.

"It’s weird, isn't it?" Ruchi's voice was quiet. "The way we hope things to be and the way they actually turn out."

Yes, Aditi agreed silently, drawing shapes in the sand. Indeed, life was strange. Unpredictable, sometimes even unliveable.

"That day when we met you at Sunset Point, Saket and I made a bet."

"About what?" Aditi looked surprised.

"About you and Darsh. That evening, after you two left for the temple, we went back to our hotel. Anshul was asleep and the only thing we could talk about was the beautiful couple we met. I said you loved Darsh to bits, but he was hedging his bets. Saket insisted it was the opposite. No man ever looked as smitten as Darsh did when he looked at you. But he thought you didn't care. He said you were too full of yourself."

Oh well. It was an accurate assessment. Trust this doctor couple to diagnose a disease with one look at the patient.

"So what was the bet? Who would break up first?" She forced a dry, humorless laugh. "Well, let me tell you it was teamwork. He brought it to the breaking point, and I dealt the final blow. So we both get the credit."

"Don’t joke." Ruchi frowned disapprovingly. Aditi went solemn. She hadn't meant it as a joke. It was the truth. Even after three years, the subject was painful. It was a weird story - a love story without love. A marriage without meaning. Or maybe there was meaning but it eluded them till the end. Why it still hurt she did not know. Surely, a cut made three years ago should have healed by now.

Her eyes raised to her baby. It didn’t help that Neev was a spitting image of his father. The mop of dark hair, the twinkling eyes, every inch of him already reminded her of Darsh. Some days it felt like a blessing, most days a cruel joke. Her child was not hers alone. Someone else had an equal claim on it, yet she had no claim on that person.

Ruchi’s consoling hand came to rest on hers.

"You need to let go. You have a habit of letting your wounds fester. It will not help in the long run."

Long run? Aditi laughed. Who cared about the long run? When each day was a burden, every step a ton of weight, who cared about tomorrow? And about festering wounds - she did not want to go there. It was like her life was stuck in a time loop. Whichever path she took, she landed at the same place.

"I am fine. I have my baby. What more could I want?"

“You need a man in your life. You need Darsh.”

“I don’t. I am over him.”

“Stop lying. You are stuck on Darsh and hate him for it. In the last three years, not once has he come looking for you, and that has turned you bitter."

Darn! Did the damn woman always have to be so right? Anger bubbled inside her. Yes, she was bitter. Resentful. Full of bile and jealous craving. How dare he forget her when she couldn’t! How dare he when her mind and body yearned for him. She didn't know what it was about him she longed for, the man hadn't even touched her properly. Their one, half-hearted night together was now a thing of fantasy. She relieved it again and again, then again, until she was spent. She was a prisoner of her own mind, like a hamster on a wheel, she walked stuck in the same place. There was a hole in her life. The child, the studies, the insane hours of work, nothing helped to fill it.

A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

Her new friends knew her state. Saket was too perceptive to interfere, but Ruchi had no such qualms.

"Why don't you call him? You are in touch with Kanta Chachi to check on Dadaji. Do you not talk about the others?"

"No, we don’t. They have my number. They can call if they want." She swatted the thought like an irritating fly. She would not call. She would not inquire. If any of them truly cared for her, they would have called. But not once in three years, she received any call from Palampur. It was as if they had disappeared from the face of the earth. Or rather, as if she had never existed. A bitter lump clogged her throat. Ruchi sighed.

"This cannot go on, Aditi. You need to let go and start living. There are others if you don’t wish to go back to Darsh. I know someone who's really interested."

Ah! So this was what it was all about. She knew who that 'someone' was. In fact, she should have guessed where this conversation was heading.

"Ashish is a good man Ruchi, but he is not for me. Or rather I am not for him. He deserves better, someone who truly cares for him."

"You care for him."

"Not in the way that matters."

"Then may I ask what matters to you?" Ruchi flared. "My brother helped you when you had no one. He helped you through college. He made excuses for you when you struggled to manage your studies with the baby. He's been there for you through thick and thin. What more do you want?"

It was good that the sun had set. In the dark, she could hide her anguish better. If only Ruchi knew the full truth. Yes, Ashish had done all that, but in return had expected much more. She obviously could not give it, and since then something about him had changed. It did not help that he was a professor at her college. The stalking, the bullying, the disparaging remarks…Aditi wished she could share with Ruchi but could not.

"Please, Ruchi. Don't force me. I am not ready. I may never be." She stood up and started tidying up. It was Sunday evening. She had to get ready for tomorrow. It was an important day in her career.

They gathered the kids and came home. As the car stopped near Ruchi's home, the woman looked at Aditi.

"I'm sorry if I have offended you."

“Don’t worry,” Aditi shook her head. "It's okay."

"It's just that it's not often that my brother likes a girl. And when he does like someone it's hard for him to let go."

"I understand." Aditi swallowed. Ruchi shrugged.

"All the best for tomorrow then. Your first independent surgery. Hope all goes well." She got down and took Anshul out. Aditi waved goodbye and drove home.

Her first independent surgery. Her surgeon's license depended on it. So far, she had only operated in the presence of senior surgeons but tomorrow it will just be her in the operating room.

She gave Neev a bath and put him to bed. Then started reading notes for tomorrow’s surgery. It was nearly 1 in the morning when she finally went to bed.

*****

It was supposed to be a 45-year-old woman, with normal health, with no apparent health complications. In truth, she found a 73-year-old, severely diabetic man with high blood pressure. This operation was to remove his kidney stones but was fraught with complications.

"So Dr. Sharma. I hope you studied the patient's medical history. Any questions?" Dr. Ashish Reddy stood in front of her with a quirked smile. Around him were three more doctors, nurses, and ward boys. A few meters away were the patient's relatives, who luckily did not know what was going on there.

"But... I was given a different file. I think there's been a mistake. I don't think I am supposed to operate on this patient."

"There is no mistake Dr. Sharma. A surgeon must be ready for any eventuality. This is a part of your aptitude as well as your attitude and skill."

At the cost of the patient? She had never seen any other junior doctors put through a similar test. They got ample time to study their patients. This was something new. Something that was probably designed especially for her.

Her palms became sweaty, and her heartbeat increased. Ashish watched her with cold eyes.

"Go on then. Get ready. It starts in twenty minutes. Remember this assessment will impact your medical aspirations. So be careful. And all the best."

*****

Aditi grabbed her scrubs and raced to get ready. By the time she reached the OT, ten minutes had passed. A nurse filled her in with details as she walked in. She instructed the anaesthetician and got to work.

The clock ticked by. It went on okay for a few minutes when the patient started showing signs of distress.

"You know he's had a heart attack recently, right?" A voice sounded from behind her, she was just about to make it was Dr. Ashish. Her mind blanked. Heart attack?

Surprised, she looked at the duty nurse who read the file earlier. The woman avoided her eye. She turned to look at Ashish. His face was serene.

Panic crossed her heart. Heart condition meant the patient needed different drugs to begin with. A heart specialist would need to be on the standby. Even then it might not be enough. What else had they hidden from her? Was the information the nurse read even accurate?

"Dr. Sharma. What do you do when you are operating a patient with a heart problem? A severely diabetic patient, with high blood pressure and heart problem. Do you remember?"

Of course, she remembered. She knew what she needed to do. But they were already past that stage. She shouted at a nurse to change the IVF drugs but suspected it was too late.

This was a trap. A trap set for her and the patient might be collateral damage. This was all horribly wrong. Ashish had gone insane. But was he that insane to let a sick man die just to see her fail?

More importantly, was she willing to find out?

"Dr. Sharma, hurry up. What are you doing? Look at your patient..."

It took her a split second to make the decision. She had to back out. Ashish won't let her succeed and she couldn't take chances on the patient's life. The man might get a fair chance if it's not her operating on him.

She stepped back quietly. The others around her clamored, pointing at the patient, then at her. The heart monitor beeped frantically, then Dr. Ashish Reddy came forward to take over.

"I am disappointed." He told her in front of her scandalized colleagues an hour later. The patient's relatives had just thanked him for saving his life. They had also given her disparaging looks - one that said she did not belong there.

Aditi sat on a side bench, still in her scrubs. It took her hours to come out of the shock.

***** *****