For two more days, she stayed in that feverish daze. Her nights were spent tossing and turning as someone sat on her side trying to calm her. Sometimes they wiped her sweaty face, sometimes they tried to feed her some liquids. Sometimes, when nothing worked, they just held her to their chest murmuring consoling words.
She knew there were two different people - a man and a woman. The woman’s touch was soft, and loving, like her mother’s. Initially, she was hesitant, maybe a little afraid but as time passed, she became more confident. She stroked her hair and sometimes massaged her hands and feet. The touch told her the woman genuinely wanted her to get better.
The man’s touch was hard, unforgiving. It was more reassured in its ability to handle her at the beginning but as the time passed, it became distant, aloof. He barely touched her, even when wiping her brow, feeding her or brushing her hair off her face. He made sure there was no actual skin-to-skin contact. The fleeting kisses on her brow and eyelids did not happen again. She waited for it but he did not hold her hand again.
At the end of the second day when she was finally lucid, she saw her mother-in-law smiling a relieved smile. Her husband was nowhere to be seen but Aditi knew he was here a while ago.
She took the next two days to recover fully. In those two days, she interacted with Karuna and Shanta bai but she didn’t see her husband again. The women buzzed about her making sure she was as comfortable as possible but she felt her irritation building. First, he couldn’t help to shove himself in her face and how he was hiding. What was he playing at? If he thought these tricks would unsettle her, he could think again.
Her wait was over on the morning of the third day. The house was quiet, except of some faint sounds from the kitchen. Her mother-in-law had made herself scarce after breakfast and Shanta bai too hadn’t made an appearance. Aditi was just out of the bathroom having washed her hair when there was a knock on the door. She opened it to see her husband waiting there.
“May I come in?”
She walked back in without answering. Since when did he need her permission for anything? If this was some kind of game, he could play it alone. She was not going to be part of it.
He waited for a second more, then walked in, just a couple of steps over the threshold. She turned back to look at him. He was dressed for work and carried a folder in his hand.
“I have something for you.”
Aditi snorted. “Another folder? Let me guess…this is how you found out about Gaurav?”
He looked unapologetic. “Yes. This is how I found out about Gaurav. I have my methods and they never fail me. But this is not about him.” He sighed and put the folder down on the side table that was closest to him from his position next to the door. She noticed he made no attempt to come forward, or hand it to her when she was merely a few steps away.
“What is it then? More up-to-date details about my property?”
“No Aditi. This is an annulment application. A peace offering. I have signed it. You can do it too and we can call it quits.”
*****
“Annulment?” she thought she heard wrong. “You mean a divorce?”
“Annulment is not divorce," he explained patiently. "Divorce is when you agree you were legally married and seek to dissolve it. That is a very long process and does not suit us. This is annulment - which means the marriage was never legal. It never existed, so to speak.”
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“So this marriage...never existed?”
“No, not in the true sense. Otherwise called null or void. It means it never happened.” His voice became increasingly quiet. She could see the taut blue nerve in his forehead. It was remarkable he was so calm when the nerve popped so erratically. “The basis of annulment can be if either partner is already married or is underage or unable to consent due to mental illness. There are other reasons but none of them are valid for us. The only ground on which we can seek annulment - or rather you can seek annulment is fraud.”
“Fraud?”
He pursed his lips. If he had any sense of shame, it was quickly hidden behind a cold indifference. “Yes. Fraud. I have spoken to the lawyers. A marriage can be nullified if either of the spouses was cheated into it. I’ll accept I married you by fraud and that will be that. Normal divorce has a minimum of two years of wait before it's granted. The lawyer says this is much quicker if both parties agree.”
She didn’t know when she leaned against the wall for support. Something was breaking inside her, she didn’t know what.
“You are joking, right? You know I cannot do it. Dadaji will never be able to take it.”
“Dadaji will never know of it. It will stay between us two, Ma and the lawyer. Anyway, we are far away here in Delhi. As long as we maintain a show in front of Dadaji, it should be okay.”
She sat on the bed, her legs unable to support her any longer. His eyes narrowed, the mask of indifference fading to reveal a panicked concern.
“Are you okay?”
She stared at him blankly. What a question! One she did not know how to answer herself. One that did not warrant an answer anyway.
“So you want me out of the way while you control the entire property.”
His jaw clenched as his face snapped back to that hardened mask.
“I cannot help with that. I know you don’t believe me and you are right not to, but I had no idea about Dadaji’s will. Yes, I had my men everywhere in Palampur, but I never thought of placing someone in the lawyer’s office.”
Moreover, Dadaji conducted all his business from his study. And nobody knew what went behind those sound-proof walls. Her face coated with a sweaty sheen as her head felt heavy. He pursed his lips in that cruel way that told her he’d made his decision.
“I have thought of this long and hard, and Ma agrees with me. It’s the only way. You will be free of us. And I assure you I’ll not abuse the power of attorney or any other power the will grants me. I’ll act as a caretaker in the best interest of your family. And I’ll relinquish control as soon as it’s safe to do so.”
Relinquish the control...that had a nice ring to it. He will relinquish it and she would regain it. But that may not be yet, until...
“I know it may not be until… after Dadaji,” he looked tired even as he said it at last. She felt a swell in her eyes. “And I know you do not trust me. But that’s the best I can do to ease your burden. The doctor said you need a holiday. You can go on a holiday wherever you please, with whoever you please. You can choose to live somewhere else, with the condition that it remains inconspicuous. I will not bother you again.”
They both fell silent as they stared at each other. The finality in his voice told her this was not up for argument. But why did she even want to argue she didn't know. It just all felt too sudden, too much, too soon.
*****
This was what she wanted, she kept telling herself again and again, but her heartache did not recede. It squirmed, pained, and bled as if it was torn apart by a plunging knife.
She did not see him again. Noon came and the lunch was served. She ate at the table with Karuna. The woman looked solemn, yet peaceful. Her talk was more open, free as if she too was released from some burden.
She patted her hand and served her hot food - chapatis, curry, daal with generous helpings of homemade ghee. Accompanying it was a healthy green salad and her favorite dudhi kheer, she hadn’t had it since her Ma died.
“Thank you for this,” she said before her throat clogged even further. Karuna shook her head.
“I am sorry for what you have to go through because of us”. Aditi noticed her ‘us’ meant her family which did not include her. “I know you can’t wait to leave, but for whatever time you are here, I want you to be happy.”
That sounded easy. She had her freedom now; happiness should not be a problem. And the final relief will come after her Dadaji’s death, which wasn’t too far, was it?
Her bite stuck in her throat and Karuna quickly got up to hand her a glass of water. Aditi coughed in a haphazard fit while the woman stroked her back to ease her up.
“There, there. Everything will be fine. You don’t have to worry. I know my son can be a bit harsh at times, that’s just he being hard on himself. But his heart is in the right place. I know he’ll take care of everything and if he doesn’t, I’ll personally make sure he does.”
That much reassurance was enough for her, she didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Something weird was happening, her eyes just won’t stop tearing.
“I think I am done.” She left the last few bites uneaten and fled from there. She needed to think. She needed to sort herself out before she sank too deep.
***** *****