“I suppose introductions are finally in order now that you can speak properly. My name is Eustace member in good standing of the Square Deal Merchant consortium. The boy that hass been pretty much inseparable from you is part of the Blue Ducks guild. The Blue Ducks are the security arm of the Consortium. His name is Braynard. The gnome was named Gnadst. We need to get my wagon inside and get sluiced off then eat a bite or two of dinner.” Eustace said all business.

“Ok, I have questions but from past experiences it might be best to wait.”I simply replied then I followed Eustace back out to the wagons.

We saw War Daddy right outside the door as we came out. “So how did it go down in the Nose hole? Did you have fun? I hope you didn't piss yourself when you saw some of the shit in there. I bet he did wet himself a little back in the office. Eustace why does my Giant have heterochromatic eyes now I could have swore they were both blue now one of them is hazel. Know what nevermind.. My boy is back isn't missing any important bits that I can see and the Giant is doing well and in fact more interesting as a display. Give us your best grunt big man *urrgh * maybe more like *ERGGG* ”

“How bout no... if you insist on calling me Giant I'll call you War Daddy-” I was cut off with a blow to the diaphram too fast to see.

“First off bitch nobody tells me no. Secondly you will address me as Corporal, Boss or Bossman, or sir. So now grunt for me piggy.” He informs me matter of factly.

I am wheezing doing my best to catch my breath. I let out a pig squeal “Don't tell me I got a purty mouth Dickhead. I'll admit I was rude and your dick is bigger than mine but I kowtow to no one.Better dead than somebody's bitch My name is Joe your royal dickcheeseness.”

Eustace stood shocked Braynard had his mouth agape. The Corporal had veins popping out of his neck head and face. “I should just sell you off the first chance I get Joe. Alarm Bells are ringing off in my head not to kill or maim you for some reason I feel you should be left alone. I should collar you but instead I'll promote you you're now a Blue Duck prospect. The next sign of disrespect or insubordination from you I'll let Peeter break you. Come along Braynard let's go back to your brother.”

“Before I forget Stephan baths and oyster soup has been arranged. Courtesy of Gnadst I might add.” said Eustace to the Corporal.

“Make the Giant eat first if he passes out dies or sweats blood no hair off my dick.” The Corporal replied flippantly.

“I thought you wanted to make back some money from displaying Joe?”

“A corpse would be cheaper to feed and a skeleton might be just as good as a display piece no smell like a corpse... On second thought I might kill him instead.”

With that we parted ways I waited by the door while the others went about their business.

Eustace came back to the door with the wagon and 6 of his men behind him. The Little Jew waited by the door next to me to receive the visitors. He spoke to me in gnomish “My name is Fryderyk. What in the name of Almensch are you?Gnadst said you are chaos touched.”

“My name is Joe. I am human nothing more nothing less. I assume you are here to walk us to the troughs.”

“Indeed I am.” The gnome switched into Thirnic. “ Ok people follow me warm water this way hot food to follow.” Instead of turning right and going back as we did on the way to Gnadst office we went left.

Inside there was what looked like a dormitory facility. Big wooden in horsetroughs like in an old western were placed on the floor. There were 4 in a straight line. In the first was what looked like beach sand. Number 2 had some water inside it that must have been cold I saw no steam. Number three held hot water. The number 4 was the same except this held a few washboards to clean laundry. At the far end of the room was a bucket on a table. I wasn't sure as to what I was supposed to do here. I have had public baths before I been the proverbial nuts to butts in a straight line in both bootcamp and during processing into drunk tanks. But this was some straight gladiator shit.

It is some straight gladiator shit. Just watch them and when in Rome.

The fellas went over to the sand trough then stripped down.Tossing the clothes into the laundry tub. Then we grabbed handfuls of sand threw them at each other. Then they began to rub the sand into themselves. They scrubbed each other's backs and I followed suit. When in Rome... next we rinsed ourselves off in the cold water tub. Proceeded onto the warm water then finally we grabbed some gloop out of the bucket to smear on ourselves. Reminded me of barnyard but it felt good on my dry chapped skin and abrasions.

When then sat down and scrubbed our clothes with the rubboards. Soon afterwards Frydyrek came back with some other gnomes and wool blankets to wrap ourselves in while our clothing was hanging up to dry. The blanket that I was presented with was about the same size as a beach towel. It was plain and serviceable just like practically all of the textiles I saw on the gnomes so far. I merely wrapped it around my waist then grabbed my now cleaner but still stained boxers. I was pointed towards a drying rack I had not seen in the room before near the door. When it was full it was wheeled out of the room.

We were led down the hall into what I hoped and assumed was a dining facility. Large baskets were filled with big round crackers.

Cheallah.

How do you know that Carmen.

Easy I sifted through your head again.

So is the cheallah edible if so I am on my way Fatboy?

Support creative writers by reading their stories on Royal Road, not stolen versions.

Do you ever think about anything other than food or getting your dick wet?

No.

Well he is your fur baby.

Quit poking around in my head girl you might find my spank bank. That'll take you way too long to go through.

Yes if you didn't watch so much porno you might have been able to store more important information in your short term memory.

What short term memory Fatboy pretty much cherry smoked his grey matter?

Well we hotboxed together little man. What does that say about you?That being said Carmen did the gnome's nephew give me any useful information? I know you must have pulled that one out of some residual memory that was imprinted by the corpse worm.

A lot of memories, I don't know when they'll be useful. All information can be useful considering the context. I got some gnomish table manners. I know where we are. I know places that the gnome has been some names. Bits and pieces. A little local lore.

How come I don't know what you know?

The information overload would fry your brain. If ye ask ye shall receive.

Hahaha very funny. So I am asking for mind blowing sex with you next time I fall asleep. You said I shall receive.

Yes granted. I did not like the look on her face. Carmen never agreed to any of my perverted requests.

So yeah Fatboy call me when y'all about to get your grub on. Til then I am out.

Fryderyk was looking at Joe thinking that he must really be a simpleton or else he was like some of those prizefighters that took way to many punches to the head. He was standing there unblinking with eyes glazed over drool coming out of his mouth. He was about to walk over to the man to see if he was okay. Eustace caught the gnome before he made his way to Joe. Eustace tol the gnome that the man was alright andd that he was prone to zoning out and that he would be back to reality before too long.

This suited the gnome he was just happy that he didn't have to tell Gnadst that his project wasn't quite a success as they had hoped. He would likely end up as the next test subject or else worse as raw material for the next worm.

Eustace was thrilled about the thought of an actual meal instead of travel rations. The fact that he was able to sell some goods even better. He still had to go make payroll for various informants and leverage a magistrate or two. He also had to pay off staff at the fish plant and pass exchange salt pork for salt fish. It was going to be a busy next couple of days. He still thought Stephan mad for thinking that he could exhibit the Giant for coin but what the hell.

Our clothes were wheeled back to us dry and we were told to put the blankets on the rack. I was left with little to do but stare at the wall until Fryderyk tapped me on the elbow. “Gnadst is ready to talk.”

I followed him back to the office where Gnadst was waiting again. A backless round three legged stool was placed in front of the desk this time. Gnadst motioned for me to sit.

“So are you comfortable? I regret that we couldn't find anything taller for you to sit on but it is the sturdiest seat in the whole place.”

“It's fine thank you.” I replied in gnomish without thinking.

“Your accent is better this time. Reaction speed as well. Can you tell when I switch languages?” he asked curiously.

“Not really it is more of an automatic response.” I said in Thirnic.

You could say thank you asshole.

Well thanks I'll talk to you later this is somebody that might kill me just because.

“You know I can feel that you are chaos touched. You sir are a transfer.” the gnome said with gravely

“Oh don't worry I am not saying anything to anyone about it... that is if you are willing to answer my questions honestly and maybe do me a favor.”

“Well I'll try to answer them to the best of my ability. As for the favor I will have to decide that later.”

“ Smart man never agree to a favor blindly haha I got Eustace to smooth over an audit for the price of baths and oyster soup earlier.” The gnome said proudly. “ Notice any side effects from the worm? I mean other than your eye changing color?”

“My eye changed color that is news to me. Do you have a mirror anywhere so I can see my face?” I was asking because I thought to look for more changes.

“Sure thing.” Gnadst reached into his pocket producing the glass.

I stood underneath the skylight and maneuvered myself to get a good look at my face. My right eye was now hazel green mostly but with bright golden ring around my iris. Looking closer it didn't connect all the way reminded me of a snake or perhaps a worm. My nose also seemed bigger and more hooked. My ear itched so I reached up to rub it. Yep it was bigger too it also now curled over at the tips and felt like it had a slight point to it.

“Well Gnadst looks like there were a few more changes. But I am guessing you saw them.”

“I did but I wanted you to take note of them. Besides the language skills do you have anything else to tell me that you learned from my late nephew?” he asked politely.

“I know where I am. I could probably draw you a map if I tried.”

You can play the nyckelharpa. The imagery of some gnome playing an odd looking fiddle popped into my head.

“I can play a nyckelharpa. I know some of the local history. Not much else.” I told him truthfully.

“This is incredible. My creation could in fact be used to transfer secrets through generations just like it tells in the stories. Thanks for the information.” he then tossed me a silver coin.

I put the coin in with the ring I thought for shits and giggles I would read the message inside the pouch.

It said You are in the presence of royalty this is Kraan half- giant prince of the south. He is a guest of the Blue Duck Guild. If found return to the Corporal.

The ring I looked over again. I saw a slight glow on it.

Yes you can detect magic.

The ring is magic?

Yes but I don't know what it is enchanted with.

“Is this going glazed eyes happening before or after the worm?” Gnadst asked with one eyebrow arched

“What do you mean?” I then thought about it. I must go out of zone whenever I actively talk to Carmen or BB. “No I been doing this ever since I came to Urea. I don't really know why it happens but I space out momentarily.”

“If you'd like I could try to extract the worm see if I can get any answers from it. But that might make your head more broken it'd be fun to extract it but you'd likely die.” Gnadst said deadpanned.

“Now would you like to hear my proposal?” the gnome requested

“Sure I think I should at least hear you out. What can blue do for you?”I replied

“I thought your name was Joe. Anyways I need someone to bring out a load of goods to the Bowlegs tribe. I want to see if you could ask them what happened to another nephew of mine Jonno. He disappeared in the bush out there. A gob you killed had this knife on him.” Gnadst responded

“So what remuneration could a man expect to receive for fulfilling this request?”

“If you survive a friend in Steenq. Also you could expect to keep surviving when you return to Steenq. Depending on the results I'll think of something. Getting these goods to the Bowlegs is of the top priority.” At this point Fryderyk returned to the office and informed us that dinner was ready.