The last day of Amoranora seemed to last no time at all.

How could it be that time quickened or slowed depending on how it was spent?

My crying had ended when the emotion had passed and not because my body had run out of tears.

Quiet had filled the room.

Anna and my mother let it be quiet. There had been little room during my punishment for me to wonder what it would be like when I got home. I was thankful that neither of them seemed to want anything from me. Both seemed like they would be content to spend the rest of the day sitting on the bed with me in silence.

Mother Azza and her pyramid of glass were a memory, a painful one, but a memory all the same.

If I dwelled on any part of it for too long, faint traces of how it had felt would come to my surface. When I thought of the pressure, my chest would grow tight. If sand so much as brushed against my thoughts, I would have to stretch my legs before I could settle. Every few minutes, I would press my lips together just to make sure they had not cracked again.

I wanted to tell them. I knew I would eventually, Anna had a way of making me discuss things I did not mean to, but I couldn’t yet. When the ghosts of my punishment were no longer haunting me, maybe.

The memory of Mother Azza, with her golden eyes and long slender fingers, appeared in my mind. Without thought, my hands found their way to my neck. My punishment had become a memory, but the gift locked around my throat was still very present.

I watched my mother’s tired eyes follow my hand up to the golden choker.

“Where are you going?” Anna asked, helping me scoot to the edge of the bed when I failed to do it on my own.

“I want to see it.” I grunted and let my bandage wrapped feet touch the stone floor.

My mother rested a hand on my knee. “Slow, you have slept long. Give yourself time to wake.”

I pushed myself up and fell right back down in one smooth motion. A hot line of pain streaked over my right thigh and I pressed my hand over it in a futile attempt to push it away.

“Are you sure you wish to celebrate Adrian’s night? We could just wait and watch the closing ceremonies tomorrow? After all you have been through, none of us will fault you for choosing to rest.”

“No. I cannot sit up here alone while you all celebrate.” I sighed, beginning to push my finger under the wrap over the painful place on my thigh.

My mother pulled my hand away from the bandage. “There would be no celebration, my little Delpha.”

“None of us felt very festive while you were gone.” Anna added.

Patience’s night. I remembered. I had been taken on Patience’s night. Something angry rose within me and I squeezed my fingers into my palm. Another hot line of pain let itself be known on my shoulder. The memory of the short sleeve of my dress being streaked with blood flashed in my mind.

“How long have I been gone?” I asked, feeling tears beginning to well in my eyes yet again.

“You were returned late into Nocti’s night. A day and a night have passed since then.” My mother answered me.

Small glimpses of the scattered and blurry memories of what had happened after Mother Nami had saved me were all I could recall. My mother had healed me despite being forbidden to do so, that along with her emerald eyes being split between sorrow and fury were the clearest. Anna had been right by my side for most of what I could remember. The lich had found me. Arthur had been angry about something, probably because of his black eye.

No. The lich had not found me, that was a dream. It was a fever dream I had had sometime while I had been asleep. It had not even been the lich, it had been Mother Azza who had found me in the wildflowers. The nightmare had been woven together from the things that I feared but would not allow myself to think of.

“Patience’s night, Nocti’s night, and. . .?” I trailed off, trying to ignore the tension I felt when I spoke Patience’s name. If I lived to ever see Amoranora again, I would plan to fall ill on the fourth night.

“Go’s night,” My mother answered me. “I can tell you of them, I know how you love my stories. Patience was a-”

“No,” I growled, regretting the anger in my voice as soon as I heard it. “I think I need to go back to sleep.”

I leaned back to crawl to my side of the bed, but only managed to fall onto my side and hold my breath until the pain passed.

“I am sorry, daughter. I would have given anything to prevent you from feeling this.” My mother said softly, sadness evident on her tired face.

They helped me lay onto my back and took turns making sure I was comfortable.

“We are gonna go get everything ready, I’ll come get you before dinner.” Anna said as they headed towards the door.

I wanted to tell her to stay. I wanted to tell my mother that she had done more than enough already. That defying The Mothers to help me was the bravest and most useless thing I had ever heard of anyone doing. I wanted to tell them how stupid they were for sleeping on the floor next to my bed, but that I was thankful for how much concern they had for me.

The lights were snapped out before I could and I lost most of the last day of Amoranora to sudden sleep. I did not toss and turn. There were no dreams. The Well did not come for me. My eyes closed and remained that way until the sound of my door opening woke me.

Anna stepped into the room quietly, a silhouette alone. “Hey, it’s me. Dinner is almost ready.”

I snapped the lights back on and blinked the sleep from my eyes.

She looked like a queen from one of my mothers stories. A magical woman from some far off land that had come to my bedroom to deliver me a treacherous quest. Her pearl pink gown brushed softly against the floor as she walked. At her waist, it tightened into a corset that fit her shape perfectly. Her black hair was done up in separated strands that all led back to the bulk of it behind her head.

A smile tried to spread across my face at the sight of her, but a yawn took me and I stretched into the soreness that clung to me like a second skin.

“How did you sleep?” She asked, coming and leaning over the edge of the bed. With one finger, she brushed away the hair that had fallen into my face.

“They must be so unimpressive.” I said, pulling myself up with her help.

“Who?” She asked, straightening my dress for me.

“The Red Mother’s Lovers,” I answered, looking up at her. The amount of times I had seen her look beautiful in entirely different ways struck me. “I have more with you than she does with her seven.”

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Anna smirked and scrunched her nose. “You’re just saying that because I’m your first.”

“No,” I shook my head in disagreement. “I’m saying that because it is true. Is it time to go down?”

“If it wouldn’t hurt you, I would throw myself at you right now,” She smiled, her hands gripping the fabric of her dress. She looked up to the ceiling and took a deliberate breath before continuing. “Yes, your mom said you don’t have to dress up so we can go straight down.”

“No, I don’t want to wear this anymore,” With both my hands, I moved to pull the simple white dress off of me. It caught on the choker halfway over my head and my arms hurt too much for me to continue. They slumped to my sides and I was out of breath from that small action alone. “I want to wear pants.”

“In general or tonight?” Anna joked.

“And long sleeves.” I sighed as I felt her gently pull the dress the rest of the way off me. I wore nothing under it and a shiver ran through me as the air hit my bare chest. A sliver of my pale skin was visible through the bandages on my right arm. I pulled the wrap apart until I found the end of a thin red line that ran over the top of my forearm and curled up towards my elbow.

I remembered how I had looked when Bool had been carrying me towards the manor and recovered it with the bandage.

Anna wanted to ask me if I was okay, I could see it on her face.

Something she saw on mine kept her from asking.

“Pants and long sleeves.” She nodded and left me alone, heading for her full closet seeing as how mine had nothing in it but the dresses I no longer could stand to wear.

Under normal circumstances, dressing and getting down the stairs were simple tasks. With my body in the state that it was, the only way I managed to do either of them was due to the patience and care of Anna. She had returned with what I had asked for, a long sleeved white shirt that buttoned down the front and long pants that fit me tightly due to the bandages underneath them. To complete my costume, It felt like one even though I had asked for the clothes, she helped me pull on cuffed leather boots that ended halfway up my thighs.

The pants were uncomfortable and having the shirt tucked into them made me feel like I had to hunch so I wouldn’t pull it out.

I liked the boots. There was enough of a heel that they made me slightly taller than Anna.

I lost more of the day getting down the stairs. My body was sore, yes, but that was not what slowed me. Even with Anna to lean on and carry some of my weight, I could only take a step or two at a time before I had to stop and catch my breath. She would help me down, wait for me to stop sounding like I had just run from one end of Erosette to the other, and then we would begin again. She never complained or hurried me. If it had taken me a thousand years to make it to the backdoor, it seemed like she would be glad for the time we had spent together.

Arthur, Ms. Lao, and my mother waited for us outside the backdoor.

Warm light from the lanterns that had been hung atop tall iron posts lit the space between the manor and the garden path. A small table, looking just large enough for all of us to sit around, had been placed just a few steps away. Music, upbeat and cheerful, filled the air. I could not find where it was coming from, but my mother had a way of doing things that seemed like they should be impossible.

“Oh my, look at the two of you,” She smiled at us. Wearing a dress that was the same style as what Anna wore, she still looked exhausted. “Do they not make a beautiful couple, Mai?”

Ms. Lao, wearing a much less formal dress than my mother was, looked at me. Her hard eyes went from my face to my bandaged hands and then finally to her daughter, who was more or less the only reason I was standing. A tight lipped smile that did not meet her eyes came across her face. “I am happy to see you up and about, Autumn. This place was not the same without you here.”

Fuck. I almost lost it at her words. The tears I had been holding back since the morning threatened to force their way out, but I held them back barely. It seemed like no matter what I did, they would remain just beneath my surface, waiting until I was too weak to resist them.

“You look like a pirate. Are you here to pillage us?” Arthur chuckled as he walked up to us with his hand raised.

It hurt, but I gave him the high five he was looking for.

“Your eye is better, did my mother heal you too?” I asked him.

“No. How did you know about that?” I noticed that the clothes Arthur wore and the costume I was in were not dissimilar.

“It seems that Arthur’s spirit has given him regenerative capabilities of his own,” My Mother said, stepping into the middle of the loose circle we formed. She placed her hands behind her back and took on the tone of voice she fell into when she was telling a story. “I did not have very much time or energy to prepare for this evening, but no masquerade would be complete without the masks,” From behind her back, she brought out a half mask with a short beak for a nose. “I am the mockingbird,” The next mask she produced had two round ears coming off the top of it. “Mai, you are the bear because of how fiercely you protect your cubs,” A feline looking mask followed. “Arthur, I thought of making you the owl, but that would have been too obvious. Instead, you will be the lion,” She brought the next two out in tandem, one in each hand. “Anna, for your undying loyalty for those you love, you are the hound. Autumn, my little Delpha, you are the fox.”

Even for me, with all that I had seen in my life, found it odd to watch my mother visibly grow younger as we all donned the personas she had given us. By the time we all sat down and two of the guards served us while they wore masks of their own, my mother’s hair was red in full. The lines at the corners of her mouth and eyes receded. She began her telling of Adrian, the first of The Red Mother’s lovers. Once she had finished, her and all of her radiance had returned.

I lost the rest of the day after that. I was at the table. I listened to the conversations happening around me. I watched as the lion took turns dancing with the mockingbird and the bear. The hound never left my side, but I played the part of the fox poorly. I brought no mischief and offered no snickers. I was there in body, but the rest of me had been left behind somewhere.

Adrian’s night grew late and the table was cleared, the food on my plate remaining untouched. Goodnights were given, the mockingbird kissed me on the top of my head before she took her bottle of wine up to her room, and the hound helped me stand.

Certain that we were as alone as we could be, I took her by the hand.

“Follow me.” I told her, and started for the place between the wall and the manor. Several slow and painful moments later, we stopped in the darkness between the wall and the side of the manor that faced Erosette.

“What are we doing here?” The hound asked me.

I pointed up at the wall. “I’m going to help you up there.”

“Wait, for what?”

“We are running away.” I answered and shook as I lowered myself to one knee.

“Autumn.” She said, not asked.

“We have to,” I said, grabbing her ankle and dropping it into my palm. “Jump when my arms are all the way up. Ready? One, two, th-“

Anna took her foot back. “Slow down,” She knelt down and balanced herself on the balls of her feet, gently placing her hands on my arms. “Take it easy.”

I couldn’t look at her. The spot on the ground below the hem of her dress was the perfect place to focus my gaze. “Anna, I can’t. We have to go now.”

Anna pulled the hound mask from her face and dropped herself onto her ass. “Autumn, you can barely walk. We can’t do this right now. I’m here, let’s talk about this?”

I had a choice. I could say nothing or I could answer her. There was no middle ground, no in between. If I said anything, I would be powerless to stop myself from saying everything I had spent all day trying to ignore.

“You don’t have to,” She reached out and moved to pull the fox mask from my face. “We can-”

“Let me leave it on. Please. If I take it off I will cry and if I cry one more fucking time I think I’m going to die,” I whispered, holding my hand against her own to stop her from revealing me. “I don’t know when I am going to be taken again. I don’t know what is going to happen to me next time. What if it’s worse? What if my mother can’t heal me? I can’t go through that again.”

A moment passed.

Anna did not speak. She did not pull my mask off. Gently, she pulled me into her arms and held me in the darkness.

I pulled my legs to my chest and let my weight settle into her. The slight pressure of her embrace made my sore body hurt, but it was a welcome pain. Every place that I could feel the dull ache was a small reassurance that as long as she was around me, that she would hold me together. Nestled in the folds of her pearl pink dress, I did not cry. I focused on the rising and falling of her chest against me and closed my eyes.

“I’m not going to pretend to understand how it feels to be you right now, none of us do. But, we’ve got a bunch of shit that we don’t know, right?”

“Yes.” I answered her.

“Fuck all that. Let’s just worry about things we do know,” She continued, gently pushing me up until our eyes met. “I know that when I go to sleep tonight, you are going to be next to me. That’s easy right? Your turn. What is something you know?”

My stomach let out an audible rumble, answering for me.

“I’m hungry.” I said, knowing that to be the truth without a shadow of a doubt.

“There we go,” She smiled. “Let’s start there. We will get you some food and then go from there.”

I nodded in agreement and we started the slow process of getting me back inside.

I was starving, that was true, but another truth rang much clearer in my heart.

It was not just The Red Mother who had less than I did with Anna.

There was nobody who had what I did, and it was just a matter of time before I would be taken away from her again.