In a room that's only entrance lay hidden within my own mind, I tried to tear the fucking walls down.

A door of empty light sat in the corner I faced whenever I came into The Well. For the first time, I ignored it. I turned my attention to the three walls of gold, silver, and bronze threads. My reflection rippled over the textured surface of the gleaming pattern.

"How's this bullshit work?" I said aloud, reaching my arms out and pushing against the right wall. Ever since Sam had planted the notion in my mind that someone had placed restrictions within the thing that I had stolen fair and square, it had eaten at me. The Well was in me, until I saw every memory it held or died, it was mine. Stolen or not, I should be in charge of it. Hands and knees still sore from my slip on the stairs, I planted my feet and pressed against the wall with every bit of strength I could manage. Other than indentations on my palms and a fresh stab of pain in my right hand, the wall was unmoved. I tried pressing on different spots within the pattern, pulling on individual threads that remained motionless, even shouting a litany of possible command words, but the three walls remained unaffected and unchanged.

I focused my aura, or, refocused? Part of the process of getting into The Well was focusing my Aura. I didn't know if I was doing it again or just reminding my mind that it was focused. Too confusing. I thought, pushing all my power into my right hand and striking the left wall dead in its center with an open palm.

"Stupid," I yelled, staggering back as pain from the impact shot all the way through my elbow and up to my shoulder. I dropped to the floor and clutched my arm to my chest. "Who makes a room with three walls anyway?"

Thunk. Came a metallic thump so loud, it shook the floor underneath my feet.

Thunk.

The door of light that I had been pointedly ignoring winked out.

Thunk.

“That is new.” I said aloud.

The walls started closing in.

As if they were being drawn on some unseen loom, the trimetal threads receded on each wall, drawing into their centers without losing the shape of their pattern. They scraped against each other as they were pulled into movement and the shrieking sound of it screeched against my ears. The walls didn't move fast, which was good. The room was small, which was bad, and they were moving towards me, which was very bad. What do I do? What do I do? I pushed my hands and feet against the encroaching walls. The threads continued to run and screech underneath my pressure, forcing my limbs back and taking the floor from me. It would have been easier for me to try and grapple a river. Straining against the closing walls that I was finding to be unstoppable, my arms and legs folded at their joints. It occurred to me at that very moment, when the possibility of being slowly pressed into a liquid had suddenly entered my life, that I had no idea how to leave The Well.

"Uhm, I would like to leave now." I called out. The leaving usually just. . . happened, conveniently, after some lesson had been learned or goal had been reached.

The walls pushed closer and I pushed back, my aura continuing to build alongside my fear. It coursed through my compacting body, a frenetic energy looking for an outlet that didn’t exist. Pressure built just behind my navel. I couldn’t take it. I needed it out, but The Mother’s Seal was impenetrable.

"I would like to leave now!" I yelled, releasing my aura. My arms and legs gave out and all I could do was roll on to my side and curl into myself, becoming as small as I could. Still, the walls closed in, pressing me into myself. I closed my eyes just as the air was forced from my lungs and dark spots flared in my eyes

I came up fast. Standing up in the bath and rapidly checking myself for injuries. "Oh fuck!"

My head was still whole and my eyes were not dangling from their sockets. None of me had been flattened and other than the pains that had been with me when I had gone into The Well, nothing felt different. “Of fuck?"

After a moment and another pat down, I sighed, reassured. “Oh fuck.”

From his post atop the light fixture, Sam asked his questions and I answered them. The instant I answered the third, my familiar came with a fourth that carried the same inflection of interest as when he had first asked about The Well. "What did you learn?"

"Nothing helpful." I said, wrapping the less stiff of my two towels around myself.

"You spoke. Do you mean to return to Zenithcidel?" The little blue kitten said, his blue eyes focused on me intently.

Love what you're reading? Discover and support the author on the platform they originally published on.

"Ha," I laughed, "You mean the place where I'm locked in a room and supervised nearly every hour of the day? The place where I'm not in charge of what I eat or what I wear? The place that I am constantly reminded that I am a thief and owe a debt that seems impossible to pay off? Yes, Sam, I long for the day I can return to that gilded prison."

Sam gave nothing but his words in response. "I observe you. You consume and clothe yourself only with what you can steal, you have already grown frustrated with your debt. The gilded prison you refer to does not sound dissimilar from your current surroundings.”

I pulled the drain plug in the tub and left the bathroom without responding, pinching myself to stave off the desire to throw myself onto the bed and fall asleep.

The morning sun beamed through the branches of the tree just outside my window, leaving scattered dapples of light across the worn wooden floor. Fresh air would be nice. I thought, thinking I would open the window later if I could find a way to restrain my little blue demon. Toilet? I got dressed, making sure the closet doors were shut and my notes were safely tucked away in the dresser. Then, I went and picked Sam up from the light fixture with one hand.

"Why are you doing this?" Sam asked, his very real claws digging into my waterlogged skin. I placed him in the center of the made bed and shook the pain out of my hand.

"You are my familiar." I said to him.

"That is a truth." He stated in his flat tone.

"If I give you an explicit command, you have to follow it?" I asked, trying my best to not make it sound like a question.

Sam's blue eyes narrowed. "You are considering doing this."

"You exposed yourself to mortals and in turn put me at risk, I am taking measures to prevent that from happening again."

The stairs that led up to my door and my door alone, creaked. Someone was coming.

"You mean to attempt to bind me to your will." Sam’s voice reached a pitch that was low even by his standards

"Yes," I said, having to close my eyes and grit my teeth to force my aura to respond. You need sleep. The thought came and went from my mind faster than I could recognize I had thought it. Starting over, I focused on every word and spoke. "By my power, In the presence of mortals, you will act as a cat and only a cat."

I opened my eyes and released my power as I exhaled. Sam had not moved a single whisker. After a prolonged silence filled with intent eye contact, I broke it first, he stated. "As you command."

Three sharp knocks came from my door. I didn't panic, my aura didn't flare to protect me from some unimaginable horror, and I resisted the impulse to grab Sam by the scruff and throw him in the toilet tank. This time, someone was supposed to knock on my door. I was expecting guests.

I smiled, knowing the excitement I felt was not only foolish, but dangerous as well. I unlocked my door and opened it. "Good morning."

My excited smile was evaporated by a shock of momentary panic.

"Your rent is late," Ms. Lao said, her hands clasped behind her back. She had bags under her eyes and her usually tight bun of black hair had more strays than usual but she still terrified me as she always did. "Good morning, thank you."

Every time I had ever heard her speak It had been with the same staccato rhythm, but she had sighed through her thank you. For whatever reason, Ms. Lao seemed to be as exhausted as I was, which made the very difficult and wrong thing I was about to do that much easier and made me feel that much worse.

My first memories after I had taken The Well were of my mother. In what had felt like being swept away by a rushing river of thoughts and feelings and memories, she had been the stone I had clung to. She had helped me remember what was mine and who I was, despite the shame I had brought upon her and the debt that I had incurred. The long days and nights of my first few trips through the memories of others, I would come back confused or completely lost in the mind of another. She would be waiting by my side, the truth that gave me the stability I needed to come back to myself in full. That feeling of trust, that had been built over uncounted days, I held in my mind when I suddenly threw my arms around Ms. Lao and hugged her.

"What are you doing?" She demanded, startled. She tried to push herself away from me.

I had focused my depleted aura as soon as I had realized who was at my door. Pulling her closer, the seal over my stomach pressed against her and I pushed, thinking of nothing but my mother and the trust I had in her. Using that feeling, I told a lie. " I already paid you Ms. Lao, yesterday, You are so tired, you must have forgotten."

"You paid me yesterday and I forgot," Ms. Lao asked, slowly dragging out each syllable as she thought about what she was saying. Then, she spoke again, believing what she was saying. "I am tired,” She sighed. I stopped hugging her, my charm had taken. She nodded to herself. "I'm going to lay down. I am sorry I bothered you."

Before she had even made it down the stairs, I closed the door, my legs shaking from my weight. I took three wobbly steps towards the bed and then collapsed onto it.

Too much, I had done too much. Even though the seal kept me from manifesting my aura outside of myself, it still took its toll. It still gave me loss. An empty pit had opened up in my stomach and I was so weak I couldn't summon the energy to roll over onto my back.

Two blue eyes surrounded by a swathe of different shades of blue fur slowly rose from beside the bed until they were even with mine.

"Shut up." I mumbled, closing my eyes so I wouldn't have to look at Sam's judgmental gaze. I felt bad enough having just taken advantage of someone. No, not just someone, I had taken advantage of a mother. A mother whose children had lied to her on my behalf after knowing me for what amounted to no time at all. Worst of all, dragging up my own memories had made me realize a cost of running away I had not taken into account before my escape.

I missed my mom.

Too much. I thought.

The difference in comfort the mattress provided compared to my usual pile of blankets made it impossible for me to get up and I fell asleep before I realized it was happening