“What is your name?” My familiar’s deep voice thundered in my ears.

“Autumn Aubrey.” I gave him his answer and pushed myself out the warm pool as quickly as I could. Anna sat on the bench with her notebook in hand and two clean towels beside her. She gave me a smile that made me very glad the days when all that would great me after a memory was my familiars scowling face.

“Who is Autumn Aubrey?” Sam continued.

I told him the same exact things I always did, that I was an underwitch, who my mother was, what I had done, and who I owed. Keeping my eyes off of myself because the less I saw my scars the better, I wrapped a towel around my wet body and threw the other over my head.

Sam’s final question came from where he sat in the corner, staring at me with his angry blue eyes. “Who was Autumn Aubrey?”

“Ali. The Mother in Purple. Or, I think she was The Mother in Purple. She was with The Lady in Purple and her aura was the right color. She seemed younger, like Mother,” Nothing but silence came from my mouth when I tried to say the name. “She seemed younger, like The Green Mother,” I said, annoyance making me feel like I couldn’t get the words out fast enough. “She talked to herself, in her head, like there were two of her.”

You do the same. I thought to myself. At least I haven’t given the other me in my mind a name.

“What was she doing?” Anna asked without taking her pen from the page.

“I think the two of them were training, but it was mostly talking. When I get dropped in the middle, it's hard to know sometimes. Aster did something bad, I think. Or, she thought she did, but Mother Ali didn’t seem to care.”

My memory of the memory was already beginning to blur at its edges. It was difficult for me to focus on it when it had been relatively uneventful. There was something far more interesting for me to do just outside the door of the well house. Still, there was a question The Lady had asked The Mother that would not leave me.

“I will hunt.” Sam said simply. His big blue body rubbed against my leg as he passed and I had to resist the impulse to push him into the water with my foot.

“You just went yesterday?” I called after him, unwilling to give him another command. He had not confronted me about my last, I would not test the boundaries of his limited patience so soon.

“You ate yesterday. You will eat again today. I am the same.” Sam stated as the pink marble door swung open. Without another word, my familiar left Anna and I alone.

I would not see him again until I woke the next morning to return to The Well.

Anna placed her notebook down and turned me by my shoulders. Straddling her legs behind me, she started drying my hair with the towel

“The memories are in books right? Like a never ending library?” Anna asked once she was done with towel and had started separating my hair out into sections.

“Yes.” I answered, thinking of how I could word the very unusual question I wanted to ask her.

“And when you touch the pages, you get pulled into a memory?” She continued.

“Mmhmm.” I could not deny it, the wild teeming feeling in my belly prevented it.

I was nervous.

Stop being such a silly little girl. She just spent the last few hours of her life looking at you naked. It’s Anna. I thought, knowing that the words were true but finding no power in them.

“It’s kind of strange that the first page pulls you into a random memory. You would think it would start with their earliest.” Anna said.

A heavy sigh took all the air from my lungs. My shoulders slumped and my head tried to drop in defeat, but her hold on my hair kept it upright.

“You’ve got to be still,” Anna warned, reaffirming her grip on the braids she was weaving. “What’s wrong? Why did you get sad all of a sudden?”

“I never thought to touch the first page.” I muttered, embarrassment bringing a warmth to my face.

“Oh, Autumn, no.” Anna said through a rolling laugh. She leaned onto me as she laughed. The slight, repetitive, motion of her and the closeness made me feel not as foolish as I should have, but I still needed to ask her the question.

“Have you. . .” I started, but my will broke before I could finish.

“Yes?” Anna asked, drawing the word out in a tone that told me she was finding humor in my misery.

“Fuck it. Have ever thought about becoming a mother?” I said, spitting the words out like they had burnt my tongue.

Anna laughed again. “I don’t think they would take me considering the only power I have is to make you blush.”

What?

“No, that’s not what I mean.” I said, shaking my head as far as the slack in my hair would let me.

“I know, dummy. I’m just giving you a hard time. Stay still, I’m almost done.” Anna commanded.

I did as I was told, but I could not take the waiting for long.

“Well, have you?” I demanded after a length of time that truly only a handful of breaths long.

Anna finished with my braid and stood. She handed me my clothes and did not answer me until I pulled the long sleeved white dress she had gotten me over my head.

“I have, but not seriously. Just day dreams,” She answered, giving me a hand so I could step into my cuffed leather boots. “Come on, he’ll be even more annoying if we keep him waiting.”

I thought about the little boy I had seen on Dreamtongue’s night.

“I can barely take care of myself.” I admitted, following her out of the well house and into the warm Erosette sun.

“I can barely take care of you,” Anna laughed again, holding my hand as we walked towards the manor. Her expression hardened, and she spoke to me with no humor in her voice. “You do know that we don’t have the right parts to make a kid together, right?”

“What do you mean?” I said.

“Autumn, seriously. Do you not know?” She asked, shock evident on her face.

“Know what?” I said, giving my best impression of an even sillier girl than I actually was.

Anna’s eyes narrowed. “Fuck you. I thought I was about to have to explain how babies are made.”

It was my turn to laugh and I reveled in it. She had believed me right to the very end. I was so delighted at the fact that I let it carry my lips all the way to Anna’s cheek.

“Why would I ever need to be a mom when I have you to look after?” She asked, rolling her eyes and digging her elbow into my ribs.

We parted way at the mouth of the garden. She left me with a request to stay clean and a promise that there would be warm food waiting for me when I was done.

It took me no time at all to follow the stones of the verdant garden path and find Arthur waiting for me in the alcove.

The moment he saw me, the same wide smile he always wore spread across his face.

“Look at you, you’re wearing actual clothes today.” He said, holding up his hand for a high five.

It took great effort for me to ignore the marks in his flesh my teeth had left, but he had assured me the scars did not trouble him the way mine did me.

I clapped my hand to his and positioned myself the proper distance from him so we could begin. With my right hand held in front of me and my left pinned behind my back, I dropped into a ready stance.

I had played for hours with Arthur and the guards long after nightfall the night before. The frustration I had settled into after not winning one of what was close to hundred games had transformed. When the tall man had told me he knew how to make me better, excitement had taken its place.

“Hold on, we can’t just start playing. I’ve got to teach you first,” Arthur said, showing me the palms of his hands in a placating gesture. “When you start a match, what are you thinking about?”

I let out my held breath and relaxed. “Winning. Where to strike. Where to pretend I’m striking so I can hit what I am actually aiming for-“

Arthur laughed and cut me off. “That’s enough, I thought so. That’s your whole problem. I can fix it.”

“How? Tell me, please.” I said, visions of me besting the tall man, the guards, and any other unfortunate soul who dared to stand in my path dancing in my mind.

“I had the same problem when I first learned. I couldn’t have beaten any of the guards unless they were blindfolded, but the captain had me come to seven columns and he sorted me out. I haven’t lost a match since.” Arthur said, lowering himself onto his haunches and idly picking at the mossy ground underneath.

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

I thought about the captain and whoever he had been with in the ashen robes, calling for Pyreme to join them.

“That’s a nice story. Tell me how to win.” I demanded. There was so much energy coursing through my body, I thought I would burst if we did not play soon.

“Alright, alright. Have you ever watched how I play closely?”

“Yes-no-I don’t know. I think I have.” I answered.

Arthur sprung to his feet and folded his arms behind his pack. Pacing in front of me like I had seen Precepts do to maidens in memories, he asked me a question. “What do I do when a match starts?”

I thought about every single match I had played with him that I could remember and found one consistency between them all.

“You never move first.” I answered, hoping that I was right.

“Yes! Good job, Autumn!” Arthur cheered for me.

I couldn’t help to stop the smile from brightening my face.

“I play defensively. If I only react to what my opponent does, I can never pick the wrong strategy,” Arthur said, finally taking up the stance that indicated we were about to begin. “You always act. You always go into offense immediately.”

I mirrored his movement and waited.

“When you do that, you over extend yourself and get caught in your commitment.” Arthur continued.

He was not wrong. As soon as he had said what he did, I understood it.

“So, we are gonna start slow and you are gonna react to what I do. It’s the same thing the captain did for me,” Arthur said. “Ready?”

“Ready.” I nodded.

Moving as if he was stuck in thick mud, Arthur slowly extended his pointed fingers towards my own. When he got close enough, I side stepped his strike and struck him in the chest.

He laughed like Anna had when I had admitted that touching the first page of a memory book had never occurred to me.

“That wasn’t bad, but you are supposed to go slow too.” Arthur smiled at me as he reset into his stance.

“Oh.” I sighed.

“Ready?” Arthur asked again.

“Ready.” I nodded.

Hours passed with us playing the same agonizingly slow version of the game I enjoyed so much. My head, my hands, my chest, everyplace on my body that Arthur could score points, in every manner possible. As the day passed and the sun began to set, I settled into the defensive nature that Arthur wished me to.

After an uncountable amount of games, Arthur held up a finger.

“Hold on, It’s almost night time.” The tall man said, stepping back from me and shaking out his arms. Without warning, he brought his right back and swung it up like he was tossing a stone into the sky.

Pale blue light ran through his arm and Opa burst from his hand already in flight.

The owl spirit climbed higher into the air, saying my name all the way. “No Autumn. No Autumn. No Autumn.”

Feeling my heart grow lighter at the sight of the owl spirit, I called back to it. “Good evening, Opa.”

“No Autumn. No Autumn. No Autumn.” The spirit repeated as he rose into the sky and became a pale blue dot.

“Alright, a few more slow ones and then we will see how you do.” Arthur said, retaking his stance.

The lack of speed had let my mind wander as I became comfortable with reacting instead of acting.

Just after we had reset for the one thousandth time and Arthur had sent a strike towards my face, I asked him the question I had asked Anna. There was none of the teeming nervousness for me to overcome, only the question.

“Have you ever thought about becoming a father?”

“Yes.” Arthur answered immediately.

The suddenness of his answer distracted me and I failed to stop the tips of his two fingers from pressing against my forehead.

“I would have to find the right girl first though.” He said, looking into my eyes with a strange look in his eyes. It was not the stone mask that he wore when he was serious, but it was far from the silly smile that usually graced his face.

“Because you have the right parts, to do that with a girl.” I said quietly.

Arthur withdrew his fingers and dropped his head as a deep laugh rolled out of him.

“Let’s try a real one, but don’t forget what we’ve been practicing. I’m going to be aggressive, focus on your reactions. Ready?” He asked.

“Ready.”

After playing slowly for so long, Arthur’s speed shocked me and I did not react quickly enough. In one move, he tapped my forehead again and won.

“That’s alright, it took me a couple of tries to. You will get it.” He said, waving off my sudden defeat.

“No, she will not.” A deep voice thundered from the back of the alcove.

Sam leapt up to the back of the stone bench looking like nothing but gore and blue fur.

“I see that your hunt was successful?” I asked the engored cat.

“What do you mean that she won’t get it?” Arthur asked.

My familiar ignored me in favor of responding to the tall man.

“You are teaching her how to achieve victory in the manner that you do, not in the way that she will.” Sam stated, looking like he had just returned from a very bloody war.

Seeing my familiar’s feline face and fangs covered in the blood of some recently devoured creature reminded me of when he had been small enough to fit in my hand.

In truth, little had changed.

The second time I had met Anna, she had come into the kitchen of the boarding house with a similarly bloody Sam clutched in her hands.

He had gotten much bigger and grown long fangs, but shedding his flesh as easily as I would take off my shirt was bound to come with unexpected effects.

“I don’t understand.” Arthur said, crossing his arms.

“You are tall. Your reach is long and your strength is greater than most you will ever meet. Because of those truths, you carry an advantage that she does not have,” Sam said. There was a vigor in his voice and a gleam in his deep blue eyes that almost made me feel like he was genuinely interested in what he was telling us. “My lady does not have such luxuries. She is short, weedy, and weak. A strong wind would send her to her knees if she did not trip and arrive there under her own power first.”

“Hey! Shut up you stupid cat!” I shouted.

Sam continued despite my outburst. “However, she is deceivingly quick, capable of near instantaneous violence, and has a natural instinct for battle.”

“Wait, what did you just say?” I shouted again, in confusing instead of anger.

Did he just compliment me?

Sam rubbed his paw over his head in a sudden flurry. “It is not enough for her to know the game. She must understand the way she should play it.”

“What should I do?” Arthur asked my blood soaked familiar.

“Watch. I will instruct her, but there is much for you to learn as well.” Sam stated as if there was nothing ridiculous about the notion of a cat playing points.

With moments of actual violence or when he was Hinton as the exceptions, I had never seen Sam seem so interested in anything. I would ask him about it when I got the chance, if I could remember. Had whoever he had been before he was my familiar been a guard like Bool or the captain?

Sam’s eyes snapped up to where the path to the manor widened into the alcove just as someone stepped into sight.

“When I said I would have food ready for you, I kind of thought that you would come get it.” Anna said.

She had changed in the hours since we had parted. Her raven hair was down and it nearly blended perfectly with the long black dress she had put on. In the glowing gold of the last hour of daylight, she looked radiant and warm in a way that I could not turn away from.

Around her neck, hanging from ribbons that I had made with my own power, was the bird skull that Sam had given her.

“And, I thought I was making lunch instead of dinner. So, no complaints.” She added, placing the big covered basket she had brought with her on the mossy green ground.

From the basket, she pulled wonderful things out, one after the other. A soft blanket, loaves of buttered bread, two bottles of wine, and a bundle of thinly sliced meat that was wrapped in wax paper. By the time she had smoothed the blanket out, Arthur and I both had thrown ourselves down and started eating.

“Thank you, Anna.” I said between bites.

“Thhnnu.” Arthur grunted through a mouth full of bread.

Anna shook her head in agreement as she drank her wine. “Did you two get anything done or did I spend all afternoon alone for nothing?”

“I almost gave up trying, but Sam here says that I’m the problem. She isn’t a bad student, I’m just a bad teacher.” Arthur said, snatching the bottle of wine from his sister and taking a big swig.

“I agree with you, Samsara. You are very wise.” Anna said to my familiar.

“Thank you, mortal,” Sam said simply from his place atop the bench. “What have you done to the skull?”

“You should ask our lady. She did it.” Anna said with a smile.

Click. Click. Click.

The sound came from above and I looked up to see Opa swooping down from the darkening sky. The owl spirit landed on the bench right next to my familiar with its back turned to us.

Click. Click. Click. With three snaps of its beak and three beats of its wings, it turned it's head all they way around and peered down at us.

“Sam?” I asked, his bloody state and the memory of him launching himself from a tree and plucking a bird from the air bringing a question to my mind.

“Speak.” The big blue cat growled as if he was giving me permission.

“Opa is a bird. You like to kill birds. Why haven’t you tried to kill Opa?” I asked before I took another bite of food.

“He is not a bird in the same manner that I am not a cat. We were both something before we are what we are now.” My familiar answered.

“Opa?” Arthur said, looking up from his food for the first time since we had started eating.

The owl spirit flared its wings three times and sent a flurry of pale blue motes swirling in the air around itself and snapped its beak three times. Click. Click. Click. “Lost, lost, lost,” Click. Click. Click. "Lost, lost, lost.”

Three more beats of his wings followed. Like the ghosts of the embers that had rained from the sky after Embpyre, so many motes floated in the air that Sam’s fur shimmered with their light.

“What is it doing?” Anna asked quietly.

“I don’t know.” Arthur said slowly, wearing his stone mask in full.

I knew.

I had been a sorceress name Willa Hollilock and lost in a desert, but I had seen something like it before.

“It’s changing.” I whispered.

“Lost. Lost. Lost,” Click. Click. Click. “Found. Found. Found.”

With a great fluttering shake that started at the feathers atop its head and ended at the tips of its talons, the owl spirit shook away every part of it that was an owl.

Hands, feet, arms, and legs, the shape of a boy took form. Still made entirely of pale blue light, where Opa had perched atop the bench before, he spun and swung his little legs idly from where he sat.

I had been right, it had been just like when the desert spirit had changed from her feline shape into the shape of a woman.

By his size alone, he looked to be the same age as the children from the patchwork range of tents that were crowded around the river. Not quite as old as the boy I had met on Dreamtongue’s night, but still a boy.

“Opa, you’re a kid?” Arthur asked, his jaw dropped.

“Hello. Hello. Hello,” Opa answered in his crystalline voice. With one glowing hand, he reached over and began to scratch Sam behind one of his ears. “Found. Found. Found.”

The beak clicking that usually followed anything the spirit said was replaced with three sharp claps of his little hands.

All I could to was take in the dizzying display. Anna silently reaching over and taking my hand in hers told me that she felt the same.

“How?” Arthur asked, shaking his head and blinking his eyes as if something had found its way in them.

“Show. Show. Show.” Opa said. The spirit jumped down from the bench and bounced from one of his feet to the other in little strides until he reached the edge of the blanket.

Arthur gave his hand to the spirit when it reached for it.

The desert spirit had done the same thing before it showed me, Willa, visions of its past.

“Show. Show. Show.” Opa repeated, reaching out to me.

The little spirits hand was cold to the touch, and as soon as I took it, my mind was pulled from the garden and taken away.