Once the rush of waking from my three day prison faded, I learned that my sleep had not been particularly restful.

Forcing myself to not drop back onto my bed and shut my eyes, I heard someone climbing the old wooden stairs. From the creaks and groans alone, I knew it was Anna. She stopped and I heard the warbled sounds of her talking to someone. Too muffled for me to make the words out, I heard the voice of a man. Either Arthur or Mr. Bill Argus had stopped her.

I shuddered at the thought of the man with the wispy bird’s nest for hair. Something about him, I didn’t know what, made me wish he had never come looking for his finches..

"We should depart at nightfall." Sam said, sitting on the window sill and looking away from me.

I had told him we were leaving, hadn’t I

I sighed. "Not right now, Sam. I just woke up."

Samsara. Anna had called him by his full name. I never called him that. The only way she could have known my familiar’s full name was if he had told her.

A low rumble came from my familiar's tiny chest and he turned his blue eyes to me. When he looked at me, I thought I noticed an expression on his feline face that I had never seen before. I couldn't be sure, because I was not well versed in the range of a kitten's facial expressions but Sam looked worried.

Sam looked worried for me.

“Yes, now, child. You put yourself and The Mothers in ever increasing danger by remaining here. Powers and entities beyond my understanding have shown their face. I have expressed the same truths countless times and you have not taken heed. Cease your desperate clinging to the small freedoms you believe yourself to have.” Sam stated, no emotion is his low voice.

I was used to Sam telling me about everything I was doing wrong, but I gave what he said more weight in my mind. I had only ever seen him make an expression twice before, after all.

"Why did you tell Anna about The Well, that is fairly out of character for you." I asked.

Sam answered. "To impress upon the mortal the impassable difference between the two of you."

Anna opened the door and came inside. "I've got a pizza in the oven, it'll be ready soon. Also, Arthur made me swear to tell you that if you aren't sick anymore that tonight is the perfect night to look for his ghost again."

"I'm sick?"

"That was the only thing I could tell him to keep him from coming up here while you were away."

"Is that why you've been sleeping up here?" I asked, nodding to the neatly folded blankets and pillow stacked in front of the closet. A notebook topped the stack of bedding. Anna had been writing in it when I had woken up.

Anna became rigid. "If that makes you uncomfortable, I’m sorry," She looked down at the floor. " After I found you asleep, I thought about going down to my room, but," She hesitated. "I didn't want to leave you alone."

"Tell her the truth, mortal. Lest you break the compact you have made with me." Sam spoke to her directly.

Compact?

"Fine," Anna sighed. "I was too scared to sleep in my room alone. If that thing comes back, I'm fucked. I feel a lot safer being next to someone who isn't completely helpless. It’s not like I could have asked you."

Is she embarrassed? Her cheeks had definitely gotten redder.

"What have you been writing?" I asked, grabbing her notebook before she could realize what I was doing.

"Hey, give that back!" Anna demanded.

I turned away from her, flipping through the ink filled pages with my arms extended. She reached over my shoulders and nearly snatched it from my hands.

Just barely, I kept it out of her reach.

Stolen novel; please report.

Sketches with words pointed to different portions took up most of the space. Sam, the lich, me, each had our own page. Countless questions filled the margins of the paper. Aura? The Well? Channel? Memories? Talking cat?

Anna lunged for the notebook again. I lost my balance and fell across my bed. My friend followed, landing to my left and wrenching the notebook from my hands.

Truly, I didn't care what Anna had written. By extension and accident, allowing myself to get closer to her with full knowledge of the danger had put her in harm's way both mentally and physically. The lich had been inside her mind. It had beckoned her and she had been powerless to resist. If it or anything else from my side of reality came for her, she would be right.

She would be fucked.

If I would have been smarter or not given into what I wanted, she would still be blissfully unaware. If I hadn't happened upon the boarding house, the family that lived within it would not be marred by my presence. If I hadn't taken one of the black gates and fled from Zenithcidel due to my own selfish desires, my friend would be safe.

Anna's justifiable fear and helplessness was my fault.

I was responsible for her and though I couldn't summon the lich and smite it before to ease her mind, I could keep the memory from haunting her.

As soon as she grabbed the notebook, I pounced. I jumped on top of her and pawed at her arms and hands. Reaching as far as I could while keeping her pinned with my legs, we took turns wrenching the notebook from one another in a desperate struggle.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Anna forced out.

"Isn't it obvious? I want to know your secrets. I want to read the words the deepest part of your mind begs to say."

Still struggling, Anna laughed. "You're a freak, Dani. Get off me, I'll tell you. I'll tell you."

I slid off her, sat on the foot of the bed with my legs crossed, and waited for the precious knowledge I so desperately craved.

Anna sat up, clutching the notebook to her chest and smoothing out her tousled black hair. She took a moment to catch her breath, but it took longer than I was willing to wait.

I tensed my body like I was going to pounce again. "Come on, out with it or I will resort to other methods."

My friend refused to meet my eyes and sighed. "I was bored. Arthur wasn’t here so I couldn’t bother him and you were asleep. Samsara wouldn't talk to me at first. I had way too much time to think."

"What's in the notebook?" I asked, interrupting her.

"I don't understand any of the shit that has been going on and I don't really think you do either. I was always good at taking notes when I was in school, so I thought I could try and help you figure things out."

A strange feeling swelled in my chest. All the things I had thought through before came rushing back to my mind. All the fault and every unfortunate thing I had brought into Anna’s life and she was jumping at the chance to plunge further and help me.

"I don't deserve it." I said, the strange feeling sharpening into an ache.

"What do you mean? Of course you do." Anna responded.

"You don't know anything about me Anna.” My words came quick and tasted bitter on my lips

Anna’s dark eyes flinched. I hurt her.

Maybe, I had to hurt her if the pain I caused made it easier for her when I left.

Sam was right. I had to leave.

Before she had found a place in my heart, the risk of me staying was something happening to The Well. My freedom meant more to me than protecting The Well. I hated it, I hated myself for it, but running away had made that true. The best way for me to protect Anna was to remove myself from her life. To vanish like a ghost and hope that the memory of me would fade with time.

My freedom was worth that.

"I know more than you think I do," Anna responded. She didn't sound angry but there was a hardness in her voice I had never heard from her. "I know you stole the thing inside you. I know you ran away and wound up here because you weren't willing to live as a prisoner," She leaned forward and took her hand in my own. " I've been keeping the books here since I moved back. I know you haven't been paying Ma rent and based on the fact that she hasn't thrown you out yet, I bet you have charmed her like you did me."

I snapped to my feet and turned my anger at her. "You are either the most kind hearted person I have ever met or you are a fool. How could you know I was doing that to your mother and not want to strangle me?"

"Because I don't think you would have done it if you didn't think you had to. Because it's obvious from looking at you that you need help."

"You don't even know my real name," I gestured to my face. "You don't even know what I look like, this is a lie," I shouted. I felt the need to move, to run away from where I had run away to. "Every moment we have spent together, every memory you have of me is founded upon lies."

Anna stood up and approached me softly. “Was the kiss you gave me to keep me from losing my mind a lie? Look me in the eyes and tell me that none of this has been true."

I couldn't. A tear rolled over my cheek and down my face. I couldn't deny the bond we had built but that didn't eliminate the need for me to sacrifice what I wanted for Anna’s.

I had to lie to her.

Preparing myself to destroy the best thing I had ever experienced in my life, I felt my aura rise within me. My mind understood the absolute necessity of forcing myself to break what there was between us. My body, no, my soul, refused to let me.

Show her it all. The words came and went from my mind faster than I could realize I had thought them.

What I wanted mattered more to me than what I needed.

For the first time since I had fled Zenithcidel, my glamor faded from my face and I looked Anna in her eyes.

"My name is Autumn Aubrey."