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Chapter 16: Heroes

The victory parades celebrating Sauron's defeat were unlike any that had come before. The members of the Fellowship were hailed as heroes across Middle-earth, and everywhere they went, they were met with cheers, congratulations, and gratitude. A month later they found themselves back at the Shire for one final celebration, the streets crowded with hobbits singing and dancing, and the air alive with music and laughter.

Merry and Pippin had set up a makeshift bar in the center of town, and Merry stirred a cauldron of bubbly blue liquid. "This is my latest creation, boys!" he exclaimed. "I call it 'Merry's Mirth Elixir'! One sip, and you'll be feeling no pain!"

Pippin took a sip of the elixir and his eyes widened. "Whoa, this stuff is strong! I think I'm already feeling the effects!"

Frodo chuckled and shook his head. "You two have fun. I'll stick to something a little more subdued, if you don't mind."

Sam nodded in agreement. "Aye, Mr. Frodo. We don't want to get too carried away. We've still got work to do in the morning."

But Merry and Pippin were in a festive mood, and they paid no attention to Frodo and Sam's caution. They continued to drink and laugh and dance with the other hobbits of the Shire, their spirits lifted by the joy of victory.

Legolas was in his element, regaling anyone who would listen with tales of adventure. "And then, when we faced the Nazgul, I took out three of them with a single shot from my sniper rifle! It was fucking epic!"

"And with one swing of my axe, I took out seventy orcs!" boasted Gimli, trying hard to compete against Legolas’ drunken exaggerations.

Aragorn stood before the crowd and raised his glass in a toast. "To our victory, and to the hobbits of the Shire, and to the heroes of the Fellowship! May our adventures never end!"

The entire Shire cheered with great applause, and Merry and Pippin took the applause as permission to get wild. They started smoking pipes filled with a sweet-smelling herb, and they began to sing and dance in a frenzy.

Merry ripped off his trousers and yelled to the others. "Come on, Pippin! Let's go streaking through the Shire!"

Pippin's eyes lit up. "Yes! Let's do it! It'll be a hoot!"

The two hobbits cackled as they ran through the streets completely naked. Frodo and Sam watched in bewilderment as Merry and Pippin ran off, their laughter fading in the distance.

"I can't believe they're doing this," Frodo said, shaking his head. "They're going to get themselves into trouble."

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Sam shrugged. "They're just having a bit of fun, Mr. Frodo. It's not hurting anyone. And besides, after all they’ve been through, they deserve a little bit of fun."

Frodo smiled then took a tiny sip of his drink. "I suppose you're right, Sam. Let them have their fun."

The celebration was still raging at midnight and by then, Legolas and Gimli were both completely drunk. They staggered down the streets, telling jokes and roaring laughter.

"Come on, Legolas! Let's go find some ladies!" Gimli bellowed into the night.

Legolas cheered the idea. "I’ve always wondered if the hair grows in places besides their feet!"

The two of them stumbled off, arm in arm, searching for some female companionship.

Aragorn was sitting on a nearby bench with Éowyn, nursing a drink and looking a little overwhelmed by the chaos. "I don't think we'll be seeing them for a while," Aragorn said, shaking his head.

Éowyn eased herself toward Aragorn. "No, likely not. But at least they're having fun. You look like you're having a great time too," she said, teasing him.

Aragorn laughed. "I'm not sure 'great' is the right word. But it's certainly...eventful."

“We've earned it, you know,” said Éowyn. “After all the battles we've fought and all the challenges we've faced, we deserve to let our hair down and have a little fun."

"So you’re ready to look pretty and cheer, is that what you’re saying?" Aragorn said with a shit-eating grin on his face.

Éowyn gave Aragorn a look that was more amused than insulted. “How can you be so cute and yet such a dick? Thank Valar you have great hair.”

The hours passed and the drinks didn’t stop. And for some hobbits, neither did the smoking of pipes. Merry and Pippin’s antics were becoming more and more outrageous. They had managed to find some brightly-colored paint, and they were running around the Shire, splashing it on everything in sight.

"Look at us, we're like a couple of fucking rainbows!" Merry exclaimed, cackling with laughter.

Pippin was a ball mischief himself. "Yes! We're the most colorful fucking hobbits in the Shire!"

Frodo and Sam watched in amazement as Merry and Pippin ran off for the second time, leaving a trail of brightly-colored paint behind them.

"I don't think I've ever seen them like this," Frodo said, practically speechless.

Sam patted him on the back. "They’ll be okay, Mr. Frodo. I’ll stay with you to watch after them.”

As the sun rose on the new day, the celebration slowly started to die down. Many from the crowd were passed out on the ground, either from too much alcohol or too much exertion.

Legolas and Gimli were sprawled out in the grass, snoring loudly. Both of them had large smiles on their faces, and memories of hairy feet they wouldn’t soon forget.

Merry and Pippin had passed out under a tree, their bodies covered in paint, their mouths drooling into the dirt. Frodo and Sam sat slumped nearby, their snores just as loud. They were as sober as the other hobbits were high, but equally exhausted, and after all, a friend in need is a friend indeed.

Aragorn and Éowyn were sleeping peacefully behind a large crate of potatoes. They had celebrated their victory in the most epic way possible—by fucking each other's brains out. The smell of passion and potatoes wafted through the Shire.

When the heroes eventually woke up and welcomed the day, they knew that they had made friendships that would last a lifetime. They had overcome challenge and hardship, and they had triumphed over evil and brought peace to Middle-earth. And in the years ahead as they reflected on the journey, they knew in their hearts that it was all worth it.

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