"I have to say, I am impressed." Lokir says to me, he is showing true emotions, or at least he is very good at faking them.

"Am I dying or just sleeping? It's usually one of those two when you call me to this empty void. " I say, strangely calm.

"Sleeping. Even with some extra things, you are still human. That amount of stress would shut down anyone. "

"So, why am I here and why am I so calm? If my memory serves me right, I was breaking down in a poll of my own emotions. "

"That is exactly the reason you are here. You see, we couldn’t actually measure the overall power of your soul with the whole thing of sending you into a body with a mostly complete soul. "

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Let me ask this clearly. Don’t you feel that it was a little strange that you could control yourself so much? "

"Not really."

"Well, you should. If not for the fact that your soul and mind are so resilient, you would be a lot more emotional. "

"Is that because I am a woman?"

"That is a factor. Your mind and soul are literally screaming at your body to ignore anything that would normally raise too much emotion out of you. Only when something really goes deeper into your wounds with some salt that you lose control and things happen as they should."

"Ok… So, why is that a problem?"

"I don’t know if I should tell you this or not, but not telling you might be worse. If you force your body to conform to your soul too much, it might change before you know it. "

"Change how?"

"I am going to give the only example I actually saw. A little boy hated rats so much a few centuries ago that he became immune to anything rat-related. His body would outright heal or ignore anything done to him if it was done by anything related to or that the boy registered as a rat. But after a few years, he became a cat, at least in appearance. Yeah, I know, it's stupid, but you are probably smart enough to understand the implications of this. "

"So if I use my soul to force my body into doing something, I might get the result, but lose myself on the way…"

"Pretty much."

"Lokir…"

"What?"

"Come here."

"No!"

"Why?"

"Because you will punch me."

"Of course I am going to punch you. I almost vanished."

"Look, that is the other reason I called you here."

"I am listening."

"Look, we promised you some happiness, but that was out of the window when you were born. It's our fault, we admit it. "

"Continue…"

"Took a lot of convincing on my part, but the other gods are willing to nudge things your way so you can get the life you wanted."

"Well, that is one piece of good news."

"But it's going to take a while, so you have to survive a few years on your own."

"Not like I wasn’t doing that already."

"Just so the other gods hear from you, what would you describe as a life you wanted before all of this?"

I take a moment to think and put into words what I really wanted.

"I wanted a family, kids, a house to call my own, and a few friends. I don’t mind working, I don’t mind having to protect myself or others against the dangers of the world. I know better than to expect some higher power to move everything my way so I can be happy forever. I just wanted to have a normal life, with all of its hardships, blessings and the in between."

"A normal life is ways away from what is possible. You got too strong too fast and got entangled with the right or wrong people depending on how you look at things. The rest have solutions that would not involve removing the free will of a bunch of people. "

"Yeah, I am not going to abandon everything I have now just to start a farm somewhere. Too many people are counting on me. Also, is there really a way to resolve the whole issue of me not being able to have children?"

"I am not familiar with the details, but yes. Just remember that it will take a while and don’t start a crusade against us."

"Don’t worry, it will be just against some of you." I say with a devilish smile.

"Please don’t even joke about that."

"Time will tell if it was a joke or not. I will put my faith in you and the other gods for now. Anything else you need to say?"

"You might want to be prepared for when you wake up."

"What do you mean?"

"Your body is processing a few years' worth of emotions. A few hours of sleep will not be enough for you to be able to calm down. If you don’t remember, you just shut down after a few minutes. "

"Well, it's normal to not remember when you fell asleep."

"What I am trying to say is that you should prepare yourself to actually feel things. For lack of a better word, your soul will sync with your body and you will actually not be able to ignore most of what you were. "

"I hope that I don’t turn into an emotional mess that can’t survive a fight."

"You will maintain your fighting instincts. You will feel more of the stuff you had no idea what it was like, like showing or receiving some types of affection or feeling shame. "

"I will keep that in mind."

"Well, you will wake up after a few moments, bye…"

And like he said, after a few moments, I felt myself waking up. My body is hurting a lot. I just crumbed on the ground before I fell asleep, by the looks of it. At least I recovered a good amount of my mana. Before I can even get a good look around, I use a spell to clean myself and everything that is with me.

After a little stretch, I take a look around and see the burnt ground where the ashes of those demons would probably be. I feel a sting in my heart. Everything I felt before I fell asleep came rushing back, just weaker and not by much. For some reason, I also started to feel a little ashamed of having slept on the ground.

I stop for a few minutes to get my mind into the right place. I am feeling stuff but I need to get out of here. The sun is already up and there are probably people looking for me.

After calming down enough that I feel I can take flight, I do just that. In the sky, I try to localize myself and manage to find where north is as I see the mountains that are part of the east border of the continent on the horizon.

As I am flying I start to feel happy. The world from this altitude seems more beautiful. Things look so small that you can make yourself think that any problems on the ground are insignificant. I also feel a little guilty about having started a forest fire and more shame, this time for the fact that I am flying using a skirt. It’s not like there is anyone to look at my panties but I am feeling some shame nonetheless.

After several minutes, I find a village big enough to have an adventurer’s guild branch. They always have someone or something that can communicate long distances. I need someone to inform the kingdom, or more specifically, Sophia, that I am alive.

I land between some abandoned houses and walk towards the adventurer’s guild. Some people are giving me some side looks, and that is probably because of my clothes. I like them, but they are a little too sexy for normal people. Strangely enough, I don’t feel an ounce of shame because of them specifically.

"Hello, do you have anything or anyone that can communicate long distances? The Kingdom’s Army asked me to do something, and I feel like I should send a message saying that I finished it and am still alive before I go back. " I say to the woman currently taking care of the counter.

"Miss, you understand that if you are lying, we will do nothing to protect you, right?"

"I will take that as a 'Yes'."

"May I ask what exactly were you doing?"

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"I was dealing with those bird monsters."

"Oh!? A few of the people here were called for that in the middle of the night by the Kingdom’s army. I don’t remember ever seeing you before. Where are you from?"

"Sagrada."

"That is very far. How are you even here?"

"Magic." I try to say without sounding stuck up. I just don’t want to explain that I can fly.

"Didn’t take you for a mage with that big sword on your back."

"The beauty over here requires mana to be usable most of the time. Had to find some use for the rest of the mana I don’t use on her. " Half-jokingly, I say.

"What is your name?"

"Lucia."

"Lucia from Sagrada. Give me a few minutes, I will give your message to those who can transmit it. "

"Thanks."

The woman leaves the counter and goes to the back of the building. This place has no second floor, so the important stuff is probably on the back.

As I wait, a group of low-level adventurers approaches me, going by their gear.

"Hello there, miss. I see you can handle a few swords at once. Care to handle ours?" One of the men there asks me. They don’t seem particularly older than me, probably early 20s, just a little roughed up from quests. They are not particularly ugly, but not particularly attractive either.

I feel a little sick from his comment as well as a little angry. I can’t actually tell if he is really asking me that or if it is a bad joke.

"Excuse me?"

"I told you those things were real. Let’s leave the woman before she decides to do anything." One of the other men says to the one that made a bad joke.

"You shut up and you, woman. What is a noble doing here?"

"I hope you are just failing at telling jokes and not saying that I am a noble."

"Shit! Really? "

"Yeah."

"Oh, sorry then. My family lost half of our farm to some stuck-up noble and his daughter. I wanted to say something to one that wouldn’t put me in jail. With your dress and all, I thought that you were a noble." The man says apologetic.

"Any other day I would have hurt you." I warn him.

"Come on lady. You are bigger than us, that I can admit, but I don’t think you are stronger than us, you are a woman after all."

"I am at least a Rank A. I can wipe this town off the map if I wanted to. I may not be as physically strong as most men, but there is more to strength than the physical kind. " I say with absolute confidence.

"Hey idiots. She is telling the truth. Girl, orders came from above. Just go to the capital. Someone named Sophia is waiting for you there. " The woman who was talking to me before yelled.

"Anywhere specific in the capital?"

"Any of the gates will do. Oh, it's just going west from here in case you are lost. "

"Ok, thanks. Have a good day. " I say as I begin to leave.

"Dona, who is that woman?" I hear one of the men ask as I am leaving.

"She is a 15 year old girl who can kill you in more ways than I. Now stop being a jackass and go work. You three almost don’t qualify for the jobs we have here. Get stronger faster. " I hear before I take off to the capital.

—

"Lady Lucia I assume?" One knight at the east gate of the capital asks me as I touch the ground.

"Yes."

"There is a carriage ready for you. Follow me. " He says in a tone that shows that he is in a hurry.

I follow him to a somewhat fancy black carriage and am taken to the palace at full speed. I probably would have been able to just fly there, but going by the amount of guards I can see on the streets, if I just appeared in the city from the skies, panic would ensue.

After arriving at the palace, another guard guides me to the throne room. There I am announced and the gates open. As I enter, I see at least 40 people talking with the King, who is currently on his throne. It takes all my willpower to not jump into Sophia as soon as I see her. I need to report what I found.

"Hello, your majesty. Hello commanders and generals?" I say as I bow down a little.

"Welcome. It came to my ears that you were sent to deal with the origin of those things. Since they vanished, I hope you have some explanation why. "

"What do you want to know?"

"Tell everything, from the moment you left the battlefield to when you reached here." The King says to me.

I begin to report what happened between me and the demons to the king. Once I finish and look around I don't know if people here are more shocked that I almost died or that there are demons so strong in the first place by the looks on their faces. I wasn't 100% when I started to fight the two tiger demons but that doesn't seem to factor into their perception of what happened.

"I see you went through a great ordeal. You may rest in the palace for how long you deem necessary. " The King says to me.

"Thank you, your majesty. I will now take my leave. " I say as politely as I can to him before leaving the room. A maid was waiting for me outside the throne room.

Looks like there is something that switches on and off if you can hear what is being said inside the throne room. As I begin to walk with the maid I notice that I can't hear what is happening inside anymore.

After a few minutes I am let into a somewhat luxurious room. More than the one I had last time. The maid then leaves me there alone.

As I walk around the room, I pass in front of a full-body mirror.

"Look at you, beautiful and sexy as you can be. Nobody looking at you would even think that you are a mess inside, don't they? " I say to my reflection in the mirror sarcastically.

The emotions that I put a lid on to be able to at least report what happened are beginning to surface again. I sit on the bed, hugging a pillow, and begin to try to calm myself down naturally. Let's let the things that should flown, flown.

"Lucia? LUCIA!? What happened!? " Sophia asks me terribly worried.

"Huh? How long have I been here?" I ask as I snap out of some trance I was in.

"Lucia, why are you crying?" She asks me in the same tone as before.

"Hahaha, look at me, crying like a little girl." I say as I try to stop my tears, but they continue.

"Lucia, what happened?"

"You heard it. I almost died. Funny, ain't it? Enough to cry. "

"Lucia, that's not funny..." She tries to say something.

"No, it's hilarious. The woman who can make a king quake in his boots is now crying in a random room about her life just because she almost died again and discovered some stuff about herself. This is pure comedy. "

"Lucia, please..."

"Come on Sophia, in some cosmic way, this should be funny to you. You can laugh. "

"Lucia..."

"Please laugh, because...because...because if you don't, I won't be able to forget this pain!" I say to her as I hold her shoulders.

"Lucia, I am here for you." She says as she hugs me.

At this point, the dam breaks and I begin to cry uncontrollably in her arms. In my old life, I wasn't able to cry when I was sad. Ever since I was 10 years old, I could never cry my heart out, be it from pain or sadness. I never knew why. Logically speaking, I should have cried a lot during my life. I lost people that I actually liked as I was growing up. I saw things that I should have cried about, but in my memories I only had things I should be angry about and things I shouldn't. The tears that are flowing right now aren't just the tears of my life now, they are the tears of my old one too. I can't tell exactly what I am crying about, but I can feel that it was something that I should have done a long time ago. The tears for my friends that I lost, the tears that I wished I could have shared with my family, the tears from a book, a movie, a simple story... Tears from the injustice I saw, tears for my humanity that up until now I didn't know I had buried.

After what felt like an eternity, I calmed down enough to be able to talk.

"Better now?" Sophia asks me as she sits beside me on the bed.

"Yeah..." I say as I clean both of us up.

"It must have been very hard for you alone. I should have gone with you."

"NO!" I suddenly shout at her.

"What? Why?"

"If I lost you, I don't know what would become of me."

"Thank you, I guess. Lucia, what happened that you aren't telling anyone?"

"When I say I almost died I really meant it. I was a step away from going for good. I only survived because a part of me that I didn't know about showed itself. "

"What do you mean?" She asked, genuinely confused.

"I can't really explain. It's like I consumed what made me able to hold back my emotions and now that I don't have that anymore...Everything is coming out all at once. And it's a lot, so much that I feel somewhat empty..."

"You told me about your life, but I guess there is more, ain't it?" She says as she strokes my hair.

"There is so much that I wish I could tell you. But you would have so many questions. "

"You can tell me. I will just hear it if you think it will make you feel better."

"I was abandoned 3 times by people I considered my family. I lost all my friends more than once. I forgot parts of my own life that I should have tackled head on. I got drunk on power and didn't even notice. I forgot what it is to be human..."

"Lucia..."

"All of this is giving me bad thoughts. I don't want to be abandoned again. I just want a family, but every time I look back I see everyone leaving. I try to be positive. If anything, I only came back alive because of you, Monica, Mess, Alfina... But now that I am here, the image of all of you leaving me keeps popping in my head and it is haunting, so much it hurts, and I don't know what to do. I tell myself it's not real, but it feels real. I don't think I can lose my family again. " I say as I begin to tear up again.

"I am happy that you think of me as family. I promise that I won't ever abandon you. "

"Really?"

"Of course. I lost the chance to get rid of you a long time ago. You are now my little sister and will always be. "

"Thanks."

"Sorry for not being able to be a mom for you. You are not even an adult yet and you had to deal with so much. I can't be the adult that will guide you into the future, but I can be the one at your side. "

"It's enough and I am sure you will be a wonderful mom in the future."

We smile at each other and enjoy the moment as we hug one another. This feeling is so pure, so warm, I don't remember ever feeling it.

Before I know it, I begin to doze off and I feel Sophia covering me with blankets and then closing the door.

I wake up on what clearly is the next day. The sun is just coming up. I am also hungry.

I wash my face with some water I found in my room, and as I begin to leave the room, I bump into a maid.

"Hello, is there anywhere I can eat?" I ask the maid. She just nodded and motioned for me to follow. I didn't get to look at her face much, but her expression when I asked gave me the impression that people shouldn't be talking to me for some reason.

I am led to a small dining room. There are two men also eating. Going by their attire, they were talking with the King yesterday. I sit at the table, letting a few chairs go between us. I also ask for milk as I am not seeing any on the table. There are plenty of things I usually eat for breakfast, but it's not the same without milk.

As I am eating, one of the men begins to talk to me.

"Lady Lucia?"

"Yes. Can I help you? "

"If I may intrude, are you in better health now?"

"...Better, yes. Not fully recovered, but I am way healthier than yesterday. "

"Good, good...Forgive me for asking another thing like this, but can you take part in today's discussions? "

"hmmmm... Probably." I say after thinking for a few moments. I can probably do it today. I am not 100% recovered, both physically and mentally, but I can probably give more information than yesterday.

"That would be good. Your report was good, but we still have a lot of questions. " After this, we mostly ate in silence.

I take my time enjoying the food, it's not like it's going to go bad. I can feel magic coming from the entire room, and the hot food isn’t cooling down naturally.

After enjoying the meal and trading glances with the various men and the few women that came and went from the room, I go back to my temporary room to clean myself a little more.

I slept on my battle gear so I should probably check it just to be sure. My spell never failed me when it comes to cleaning, but you never know.

As I remove my clothes, I see myself in the mirror again. I am better than yesterday for sure. I also feel like I should masturbate or something, but I feel like I won’t be able to hold my voice if I do that now. I can probably hold on for a day or two if necessary. Also, I am in the capital. I can probably sneak out to a brothel or something similar if necessary.

Anyway, after checking my clothes and cleaning them a little more thoroughly, I make my way to the throne room where I make my presence known so I can join the discussions.

As the doors open, I prepare myself for a long day since now that I am more calm, I see that there is a lot of stuff that can be implied from the things that happened in these last few days.