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Chapter 77, Back to Life

"What day is it?" I ask Jenny and Hans.

Jenny wraps her hand around Hans’ arm and he looks down at her with a gentle smile as she lays her head on his shoulder. It makes my heart warm in my chest to see their tender love.

Hans looks back up at me. "Day of Grayce, one day since the battle, two days before the next round of the tournament," Hans says, going graciously with the change in subject.

I nod.

"We've sent the servants away, so feel free to use the grounds without fear of discovery." Jenny places a pastry in my slack mouth.

I chew, having so many questions after such a statement that I kinda just give her a blank stare. She pats my hand with a gentle smile.

I shake my head, trying to put my thoughts into my mouth. "How d'ya get the servants to leave? Why? Who made this food? What about the guards?"

Ran sneaks back in the window, going to the water Jenny leaves by the fireplace. I keep my focus on the two in front of me instead of the panting wolf who plops on an extra large cushion in the corner.

Hans shares a look with Jenny, then leans forward in his chair and steeples his hands. "First, any guards here are thoroughly vetted by myself and Areece. Forgive me, but he knows who you are. I understand it may not have been my secret to tell, but he saw both you and your family. It was inevitable. Second, we sent the servants away to claim celebration of this little one—" Hans looks down at Jenny's little protruding belly bump with a smile, one I have never seen on his face. It softens his face and makes his entire countenance seem less stressed interrogator and more a proud, loving dad. It's weird and doesn't fit the stern Hans I know. "—with a period of fasting, so we would need no one to cook... but my Jen is quite talented in the cooking arts and does well enough. We've no need of staff."

I think his answer through, then nod, my eyes growing heavy. I yawn.

"It's time we left you to your rest, darling, but first, we have someone who's been dying to see you," Jenny says, walking to the door and peeking her head out to gesture to someone down the hall.

I hear running footsteps before the dirty blond hair of my brother peeks in, his hair disheveled (as usual) but his clothing... he looks like a little prince in his sharp black pants and light green jerkin, and I have to shove back tears. He's still gangly and seems to still be growing into his arms and legs... but he's healthier than I've seen in a long time, filling out and not so gaunt. But there are bruises despite Rose helping his body heal and it pulls at my heart.

He walks slowly to my bed, looking anywhere but me.

I grab his hand and pull him to me for a hug. He squeaks, eyes growing wide.

He topples on top of me, squashing me into the bed. He may look tall and slim... but he is much heavier than he looks.

His gangly elbow is shoved into my ribs as he scrambles to get off.

He untangles himself, and I'm left wincing from my ribs and taking shallow breaths.

Jack wrings his hands. "I'm so sorry, sis—"

I choke on a laugh that sounds like a dying dog... or frog.

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Jack looks at me, his eyes drawing up to his forehead. "Sis, ya look terrible."

I bark out another laugh, then curl around my protesting ribs. "Stop it, little menace. I need to breathe!" I wheeze out.

He grins, and it makes me feel a hundred times better than that look like I was fragile glass about to break.

"Come 'ere, Jack. I need a hug," I say, and he complies, gently hugging me.

"I was so worried, and I have so much to tell you," he whispers into my ear.

He pulls back, and I see Jenny and Hans have snuck out while I wasn't watching.

Jack sits beside my bed in the frilly chair Hans had vacated.

"Jill seems... different," I say, not sure how else to describe it.

"She..." Jack looks down at his hands. "She went through a lot, and she found out... she found out why she's sick."

I suck in a breath, and Jack glances at me, his emerald green eyes showing hurt and pain that goes so much further than physical. "She has competing Gifts, sis. I didn't understand it all that great, but something about she has both the Gift of Life and of Death, and most aren't able to survive it because they both pull at you until they steal all your energy."

I hiss out the breath I'd sucked in. "I need to see her," I say, trying to get up.

He holds me down with a single hand, and I glare. But whereas he used to would have backed off with such a glare... he meets me heat for heat, his disheveled hair falling into his eyes. "Sis, you both need time. She doesn't need to talk, she needs time to process. And you need time to heal. Give it time. We have time now," he says, squeezing my shoulder.

Ran looks up from where she's been pretending to nap. When did he become a wolf-heart?

When we weren't there, I reply, sorrow and bitter-sweet pride filling my chest.

I lean back, surprised at just how quickly my strength is zapped. "Perhaps you're right," I say through shallow breaths.

"I know I'm right."

I roll my head over to give him a grin, and he returns it, his green eyes sparkling.

I reach for his hand. "I'm so proud of you, Jack. And I know father would be, too."

His cheeks grow red and he glances away. "Thanks, sis."

"How're you doing?" I ask.

He looks out my window into the twilight of day, avoiding my gaze. "I'm good."

I squeeze his hand, forcing him to look at me. "Nuh-uh. I want the real answer."

He looks at me, and his eyes grow cold and his lips press into a thin line. It chills me to the core to see my kind-hearted brother go from emotion to this blank... nothingness. "I'm doing just great after seeing my mother and sisters tortured and taken captive by madmen and sent into another world and watching Jill come into gifts so much more powerful than I imagined and saving my life only to find out those Gifts are killing her and there are only very few who can survive and you are back but not really, you're changed, and Momma still looks sad when she thinks I'm not looking. So yeah. I'm just great," he says, running a hand through his hair and making it stick up even worse.

I take a deep breath, not expecting all... that. At all.

Ran blinks. Did he even breathe through all that?

"Sorry. Didn't mean to unload on ya," he says, glancing up sheepishly, his eyes back to showing emotion.

I squeeze his hand. "I kinda asked for it." He looks up, his eyes haunted. "It’s gonna take time, little man. I’m so sorry. I wish I could take this for you."

He tries to smile for me. “I don’t.”

I squeeze his hand again and give him a little smile. "If you need anything, I'm here. K?"

He nods, staring listlessly at the ground.

"And don't tell Ran, but I snuck you some pastries," I say, pulling some from beneath the covers.

Ran looks up from where she's pretending to snooze, her tail lazily slapping the ground and her lips parting in a happy pant.

Jack looks over at her drooling mouth and laughs as she pounces on the bed.

"EW! Ran, bad wolf," I say, trying and failing to avoid the slobber she's slinging around as she tries to grab the pastries. Her eyes sparkle, and I know she's merely teasing me since she's moving slow instead of snapping up the pastry.

I distract Ran by throwing one pastry on the floor, and when she goes to gobble it up, I pass the last one to Jack. He runs for the door. Ran yips in excitement, her tail waving like a white flag behind her as she exits the room on Jack's tail.

I lean back with a smile on my face as I hear a woof and my brother's answering laughter. My eyes close, darkness trying to claim me.

I wish I could do more for him, but I know every journey is different and he will need to navigate as The King sees fit. But I will support and listen and love my little brother until such a time as he can smile without the hidden pain behind his eyes, causing a bittersweet hint to every grin that used to be so child-like and full of life.

But he's alive, and when there's life, there's always hope for a better tomorrow.